Living Out Loud with Darian

I just wanted to wish all loldarian.com readers a merry Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year. I'd like to personally thank all of you who have visited the blog from the beginning and have stuck with me during my hiatus this year while I was writing my first book.


When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color is finished and will be available in book stores and online everywhere next spring. I look forward to sharing this labor of love with all of you and returning back to blogging on loldarian.com full time in January.


Enjoy your loved ones and happy holidays.

Darian

I just wanted to take a minute to answer some of the questions I've been receiving via e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter and also thank everyone for all of the support and for continuing to visit the blog even during the months I've been away.


As you know I took a hiatus from blogging during the beginning of the summer to work on my first book which will be released next spring. However, due to the unfortunate rash of gay teen suicides, the Eddie Long scandal and your requests for me to return to cover the stories important to our community, I felt I had an obligation to push the book aside momentarily and return to Living Out Loud.


The blog was never suspended indefinitely and is a huge part of my life so it's here to stay. I'm currently finishing up the last section of the book and I hope to turn it over to the publisher before Christmas.


When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of Same Gender Loving Couples of Color will be a coffee table book featuring the lives of eighteen black gay couples in long-term relationships based on my successful Coupled Up series. I'm extremely excited to share a project with the world that is a positive reflection of our lives as black LGBT people. I hope I will have your support.


I'll most likely pull back from daily updates again as I try to birth this new project as well as preparing to begin my first semester as a journalism student. Yea!!!


In the meantime, feel free to peruse my commentary on For Colored Girls published by The Advocate and The Daily Voice.


Much love,
Darian

So much for the defiant Eddie Long who vowed to "fight these allegations in court" from the pulpit of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church only days after news of the scandal involving Long and four men who he allegedly coerced into sexual relationships using money, gifts, and scripture to justify his abuse of power.


Anderson Cooper reports Bishop Long has agreed to undergo mediation in an attempt to avoid a public trial. Watch the AC360 News report below:

That's the question a lot of people seem to be asking. I haven't personally seen the commercial air on television that is quickly finding itself at the center of this online debate, but I know people who have and they all seem to be split on it's intended message.


In the commercial two black men are seen dancing together extremely close in a club while a woman who appears to be the girlfriend or love interest looks on as one of the men holds two Burger King chicken sandwiches in his hands. If this ad was supposed to entice the viewer to buy the sandwich it's doing everything but that...the sandwich is clearly an afterthought.





Here's what some black readers over at the notoriously homophobic AOL Black Voices had to say about the ad:


RxBlackAmerica: "Is BK endorsing down-low enjoyment? This is absolutely disgusting! I am appalled that Burger King even thought to create this, and that these actors would go along in participating in this! WHY do we have to have Black men behave?and be?depicted in this manner? And people wonder why Black women are tired of some of this mess. The down-low insinuation is more than clear in this piece."


kreal11: "Okay, although when I first saw that commercial the first thing came to mind was "damn, why dude gotta be all up on other dude like that" but then again, it's just a commercial about buying some damn nasty sandwich and getting another for free, and having both hands full, I dont see it as promoting down low activites. Dont get me wrong, there's possible subliminal messaging going on, but i doubt its really that serious."





Is it serious? Well I guess that depends on who you ask. But consider this line from the ad spoken by the black woman to the two men as they "bump and grind" on the dance floor: Woman: "This is kinda weird." Man: "It can get a lot weirder." And let's not forget the title attached to the video "Very strange black man."


Maybe the ad isn't to be taken seriously, but it sure provides a topic of discussion around water coolers and sadly ammunition for black homophobes.


Get into the video below:

Columnist David Kaufman has written a must-read article on the absence of black gay men on LOGO's hit reality show The A-List New York and in the overall media. Personally I view the absence of men of color from the show as a mixed blessing seeing how it perpetuates every negative stereotype about gay men possible, but in 2010 it speaks to a larger problem pertaining to the lack of diversity on television.


From Logo's 'The A-List': A Symbol of Gay Apartheid?


At a time when LGBT people are fighting to end "Don't ask, don't tell" and quell a quasi epidemic of teen suicides, many might ask why whitewashing on trash TV should even matter. The problem is that it's not only D-list programs like The A-List that render invisible black members of the LGBT community.


Of the 23 regular LGBT characters on shows in the 2010-2011 prime-time season, not one is African American, according to GLAAD (the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), the leading LGBT media-watchdog group. As GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios puts it, "Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender African-American people remain largely invisible in the media today."





Sharon Lettman-Hicks, executive director of the National Black Justice Coalition -- the nation's largest African-American LGBT advocacy group -- attributes black media invisibility to the "gaystream's" traditional "one issue at a time" mentality. "We are all working with limited resources," she says. "But because it already feels marginalized, there's this notion that the [larger] LGBT advocacy agenda can't handle other issues of oppression."


A quick look at the Sundance Channel confirms that this is clearly not the case. Indeed, just days after The A-List ends, Sundance's new show Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys begins. Here, too, the producers exploit a classic LGBT stereotype: gay men and their straight female best friends. But unlike The A-List, this show has actual black folks on it -- Crystal McCrary and Nathan Williams, one of the program's four "couples." The suits at Sundance seem to think that gay black characters are worthy of airtime. So why not Logo?


Perhaps it all comes down to sex -- which the Sundance couples will not be having. In defending The A-List, Logo's PR machine cited its black gay drama Noah's Arc as proof of the network's commitment to multicultural programming. Yet with its all-black cast, Noah's Arc is as mono-racial as The A-List. Logo apparently has no qualms about developing black characters who are mating and relating solely with other black characters. But interracial dating -- not so much.


Did LOGO really cite the cancelled Noah's Arc as their commitment to diversity? Uhmm...ok. It's also important to mention the one black gay person on the show, Desmond P. Smith, is as successful Wall Street executive who owns a $4.1 million dollar mansion but is relegated to background shots. Seems like Smith is the real A-lister.


In any regard, The A-List New York reunion airs tonight at 10PM EST hosted by Wendy Williams if you can stomach it. I guess Williams is LOGO's ode to "diversity".

What happens when Lambs and Love Muffins unite? A splendiferously divine Christmas video and contest of epic proportions.


B.Scott has just released a beautiful and timely holiday video directed by Shawn Carter Peterson to Mariah Carey's single "When Christmas Comes" from her new holiday album Merry Christmas II You.





Noah's Arc alum Benjamin Patterson plays Scott's sexy love interest in the video. You may remember Patterson from his role as the scheming character Guy from the second season of the black gay television series Noah's Arc.





B. Scott and Mariah Carey have teamed up to give their fans an opportunity to create their own "When Christmas Comes" video.


Here's the info you need to enter via lovebscott.com


Get into the video below:

Brian Slade, the gospel artist formerly known as Tonex' has taken New York City by storm this week. The amazing vocalist performed to a sold-out crowd last night at popular venue Joe's Pub in downtown Manhattan.


On the heels of his successful mixtapes "A Brilliant Catastrophe" Alpha and Beta, Slade worked the audience into a frenzy with his amazing vocal acrobatics and the authenticity in his music and stage persona.


Rev. Kevin E. Taylor pastor of Unity Fellowship in New Brunswick, New Jersey was in attendance and shares his thoughts via Facebook: "This is what the industry has always been afraid of, an artist who is alive and present in his skin. This man scares me he's so gifted!"


A lifelong Janet Jackson fan, Slade surprised the audience with his own rendition of "I Get Lonely" and "Feedback" along with cuts from his recent mixtape including the Sylvester inspired "Get Over You". Slade brought down the house earlier this week with the same track at Splash nightclub and provided fodder for gossip blogs who were unaware that the former gospel singer had already disclosed his sexual orientation and begun a new chapter in his life and career.


The world may not be ready for this type of artistry since we've been saturated with mediocre talent on radio and television, but they better get ready...B. Slade is in the building!


Check out photos from Splash via Trevon James here.


Download A Brilliant Catastrophe Alpha and Beta for free here.





Watch B. Slade perform "BSFF", "Get Over You" and "I Get Lonely" at Joe's Pub in the videos below via Anthony Williams:

A host of black celebrities hit the red carpet on World AIDS Day for the Black AIDS Institute annual "Heroes In The Struggle" event and Janora McDuffie, co-host of No More Down Low TV was on hand to get their reaction to the level of homophobia in the black community and the challenge it poses to combating new HIV/AIDS infections.


Actor Boris Kodjoe was surprisingly candid in his response: : "If we were more liberal and more open and give people who are struggling with their own identity the confidence and the encouragement to be free and to be themselves I think that would be a milestone. Stop the hypocrisy. Stop with the whole BS that God doesn't approve. Bullshit. God loves everybody so live your life."





Also on hand was actor Omari Hardwick who played the controversial down-low character in Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls. You can read our piece on the down-low storyline in the film on Advocate.com and The Daily Voice.


Hardwick addressed his character and men who are forced to live double lives: "I think we have to do a much better job of embracing and appreciating each other for who they are particularly in our race. We'e killing people double-fold. We're destroying them for who they wake up as everyday and how they then take that character (no pun intended) and they live it everyday from that point on. We have to do better."


Nice to see influential black straight allies speaking out on this issue. Also on hand were Magic and Cookie Johnson, Blair Underwood, Loretta Devine, and Jesse Williams(Grey's Anatomy).


Watch the red carpet interviews below:

Poet and loldarian.com favorite Yolo Akili creates beautiful and healthy imagery of same-gender love for his erotic poem "Concretely" from his first studio album Purple Galaxy. The video co-stars Atlanta dancer and choreographer Juel Lane, first mentioned on loldarian.com earlier this year during the premiere of his epic same-sex duet during the all male dance production LIFT. The video is directed by Alex-Sarah.


"Concretely", is a an erotic poem about sexual longing beyond top/bottom or verse "with no roles and with no models". It's about seeking an erotic that is able to celebrate sensation as well as feeling", Akili tells loldarian.com.


Always looking to expand his art form and reach as many people as he possibly can with his work, Akili credits the work of his predecessors, Marlon Riggs, Essex Hemphill, and Joseph Beam. "They definitely helped me see the possibilities for what I could do with my art,"adds Akili.


Yolo Akili's poetry and music album Purple Galaxy is available on iTunes and Amazon.





Get into the sensual "Concretely" in the video below (Possibly NSFW):

This may possibly be the best 2:46 of your life spent watching a video online today. Yesterday the Illinois State Senate passed the Illinois Religious Freedom Protection and Civil Union Act (SB 1716) granting civil unions to gay and lesbian couples across the state in a 32 to 24 vote. Rod 2.0 has been following the bill extensively and provides great coverage.


But it's what happened before the final vote during the debate that I think everyone should see. Senator Ricky Hendon explains his yes vote and calls out all of the hypocrites of the senate who planned to vote no citing religious beliefs and their "duty to uphold the sanctity of marriage" (whatever that means), and he did it in a very honest and "colorful" way.


Get into it below:





h/t Joe My God

Singer and actress Janet Jackson becomes the latest public figure to send a message to bullied and suicidal gay youth by using her celebrity to help save lives with the It Gets Better Project and TThe Trevor Project.


"I know that sometimes life can seem insurmountable, especially during your teen years, and if you're lesbian, bisexual, or transgender you're probably thinking you're all alone but you're not. There is a world of acceptance waiting for you," says Jackson.


Jackson is currently starring in Tyler Perry's For Colored Girls and appears on the December/January issue of Instinct Magazine, a national gay publication.





Watch Janet's It Gets Better video below:

Today is Worlds Aids Day. Take a moment to reflect on the lives lost to this devastating disease and realize that although medical breakthroughs have allowed HIV/AIDS to become a manageable disease in some parts of the world this epidemic is far from over.


If you're not infected by HIV then you're definitely affected by the disease in some way. Get tested, know your status, and protect yourself and your partner. There is life after an HIV diagnosis.





Loldarian.com is committed to sharing information on HIV/AIDS and individuals living with the virus and working to eradicate it throughout the year and not just on this designated day. Take a look at some of the brave men and women who work tirelessly to educate the world about HIV/AIDS every day of the year below.


To find a testing location near you please click here. Status Is Everything.


The Poz 100








Blogger & HIV/AIDS Advocate Andre Allen





Actress & HIV/AIDS Advocate Sheryl Lee Ralph

Greater Than AIDS TALK: Talking is Greater Than Silence from Greater Than on Vimeo.