Living Out Loud with Darian

As you can probably tell my holiday has already begun. My mind and body has been in vacation mode all week and it doesn't look like it's going to end until the beginning of 2010. I'd like to thank all of you who read loldarian.com daily for all of your support throughout the year, this blog would not be as successful as it has been the past three years without each one of you.


I hope that your holiday season is filled with great family, friends, and all of the love your heart can hold. I'll be spending my holiday between Alabama and Toronto so posting will be light over the next few days. I hope you're getting prepared for all of the great things in store for you in the new year and from loldarian.com in 2010. Onward and upward!


Have a wonderful holiday!


Darian

A gift just in time for Christmas from the Los Angeles based Passion 4 Christ Movement Ex-Gay Ministry.


You may recall reading about the organizations breakout star Larell on loldarian.com a while ago or watching her testimony of being "delivered" from lesbianism complete with tears and dramatic music for effect. Well Larell and her crew are back with a new video and now they're answering all of the questions/criticism from the "homosexual community". A sampling of what you gays are skeptical about biblically and what they know to be the true unadulterated word of God below:


1.Why should I even trust the bible in the first place?


2.Why would God judge me if I was born this way? Or why would he judge me if molestation led me to being gay?


3.Does God hate homosexuals?


4.How does God feel about gay marriage?


5.How does God feel about gay adoption?


6.Is there such a thing as a gay Christian?


7.How do we know that God actually judge Sodom and Gomorrah - cities that were known for their homosexual behavior.


8.How do I change?


9.Can I still be friends with my ex?


10.Am I really delivered if the temptations keep coming back?


This organization and "Christians" like them in the vain of Donnie McClurkin & Charlene Cothran is exactly why Christianity is such a turn off for so many people. Please note that these people are not my idea of what real Christians or Christianity is all about. There are a number of people whose lives reflect the true meaning of Christ within the body of the church.


Have you been compared to a murderer, thief, or alcoholic yet today? Don't worry, it's still early. Click play on the video below to watch this bulls*** disguised as ministry try to convince you that your DNA is a mistake if you can stomach it.

Last week's historic vote on marriage equality in the District of Columbia succeeded with majority support of the DC City Council despite strong opposition from many in the traditional black faith community, most notably Bishop Harry Jackson of Hope Christian Church in Beltsville, Maryland who was at the forefront of the movement to block same-sex marriage in the District.


Bishop Jackson's anti-gay media presence along with his supporters falsely paints a picture that all black clergy stand in solidarity against marriage equality-this couldn't be further from the truth.


Rev Dr. Dennis Wiley & Rev Dr. Christine Wiley, co-pastors of Covenant Baptist Church in DC have been two of the most vocal and visible supporters of equality for the LGBT community and they are undeniably black and proudly Christian.


Covenant Baptist Church became the first and only traditional black church in the District of Columbia to perform same-sex unions in 2007 prior to last week's vote. The pair spoke to local media following the historic vote explaining their position & Covenant's stance on marriage equality.


"Black people are not monolithic. We are diverse just like all other human beings," said Rev Dr. Christine Wiley.


"And because Covenant Baptist Church is a beloved community with a long history of celebrating the richness of our diversity... we have gathered here today to affirm in the immortal words of the late Rev. Dr Martin Luther King Jr. that "an injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere", she added.


"Therefore we support full marriage equality for the District of Columbia because the gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of love not hate, a gospel of justice not injustice, a gospel of inclusion not exclusion, and a gospel of authenticity not hypocrisy", said Rev Dr. Dennis Wiley.


"And with so many heterosexual divorces, broken families, broken homes, and broken lives -we firmly believe that if we're genuinely concerned about protecting the family and preserving the institution of marriage- rather than insisting only marriage between a man and a woman is valid we ought to insist instead that only marriage between two loving and committed adults is valid", he added.


Kudos to Rev Dr. Dennis & Christine Wiley for their fearless leadership on this issue. Their words need to echo throughout the the black church and the world.


Watch their press conference in the video below:





Thanks Michael Crawford

ESPN sent the gay blogosphere into overdrive earlier this year with the release of The Body Issue and now they're doing it again (at least to me) with their latest cover featuring NFL fullback Quadtrine Hill.


The 27 year old Florida native is currently a free agent after an impressive college career at The University of Miami but a bumpy start in the NFL after being bounced around from various teams only to end up on the injured list with the Chicago Bears.


Hill is at the center of ESPN's feature on turning professional footballers into professional boxers.


I'm not a boxing fan but I can guarantee if Hill is fighting a match I'll be tuning in...to learn more about the sport of course.


The latest issue of ESPN Magazine is available now. You can preview it here.

DC Mayor and LGBT ally Adrian Fenty signed legislation earlier today at The All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church legalizing marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples in the District.


In his opening remarks, Fenty recalled that when his own parents were married, many states would have refused to recognize their bonds. Fenty's father is black, while his mother is white.


"Today an era of struggle ends for thousands of D.C. residents," he said. "Our city is taking a leap forward."


The law now will go through a period of review consisting of 30 days in which Congress is in session. If the law passes that hurdle -- as is widely expected -- the first gay marriages in the District could take in late winter or early spring of 2010.


Watch video of the signing below via myfoxdc.com:

North Carolina Commissioner and homobigot Bill Leakes is doing nothing to change the image of the south as completely ass backwards, racist, and homophobic after a recent comment to colleague Vilma Leake during a debate on whether to provide domestic partner benefits to employees in Mecklenburg County.


Under the new policy, a Mecklenburg County employee who is in a same-sex relationship where both partners live together and share financial responsibilities, will now be eligible to receive county benefits for their partner as long as one of them is a county employee. The measure passed on Tuesday night with a vote of 6-3.


From WSBTV.com


During the public meeting, a conversation between the two was picked up by the microphones as they sat in their chairs.


It all started after Leake made an impassioned speech about her son dying of AIDS.


"A son that I birthed and died of AIDS and I did not know that... in 2010 I would be sitting here... to defend his lifestyle," Leake said.


After that revelation, tempers flared when James leaned over and whispered something to Leake about her late son and it was caught on the microphone.


Here is James' comment and Leake's response.


James: "Your son was a homo, really?"


Leake: "I'm going to hit you, don't talk about my son that way."


There is an actual poll on WSBTV's website asking viewers whether or not Leakes should be reprimanded for his comments.


According to blogger Pam Spaulding who is also a North Carolina resident, Leakes has a long history of homophobic outbursts.


"Naturally, people have called for James, a completely, pathologically homo-obsessed man who focuses on sex acts using his County email to apologize. I laughed at that, knowing if he said anything at all, he was going to send out an e-blast statement. And lo, and behold, FoxNewsCharlotte received a missive that is pure vile James to the core, comparing homosexuality to alcoholism and slamming his colleague on a personal level, including charging that Leake was "threatening" him in her above reply:





"Vilma is a religious hypocrite."


"She was married to a Bishop in the AME Zion church. This church has historically opposed homosexuality."


"In justifying her position last night in public she used her son's 'lifestyle' and his death from HIV-AIDS to justify voting for benefits to allow individuals to use tax dollars to engage in the same behavior that resulted in her son's death."


"It is akin to someone whose son is an alcoholic and died from the disease, using his death from drinking as justification to have the taxpayers pay for more booze."


"Her position was that her 'faith' demanded that she do this to support her son and his 'lifestyle' which she acknowledges killed him."


"In doing so, it is legitimate to ask her what 'lifestyle' and in particular whether her son was a homosexual. Her response was to threaten me with physical violence (typical for her). Of course, this isn't the first time she has threatened elected officials. On the School Board she had a long and checkered history threatening to harm those she disagrees with."


"Well, if she didn't want to make her 'son' an issue - why did she use him, his lifestyle and his tragic self-inflicted death from AIDS as the reason for her vote?"


This man is disgusting. It's past time that we start ousting elected officials who refuse to serve all people and not just a select few they deem worthy.


Watch a video report of the incident via WSBTV below:

Journalist and social commentator Jeff Johnson, host of The Truth with Jeff Johnson on BET and a regular commentator on The Tom Joyner Morning Show took to the airwaves earlier this week to address the pervasive homophobia in the black community.


Johnson used the recent Houston mayoral race between openly lesbian winner Annise Parker and opponent Gene Locke as a backdrop to highlight how homophobia in the black community and unlikely political alliances with white conservatives surface as a result of the intense disdain of LGBT people by some in the black community.


Johnson on black homophobia (loose transcript):


"We as a black community still have not been willing to have an honest conversation about the fact that we're homophobic.That our churches in many cases are running lead on the demonization of homosexuality even when their doctrine speaks to restoration.


So if we're gonna be serious...we wanna lift up this notion that there's a problem with down low brothers who are leading the AIDS epidemic but not recognize we have a community that is unwilling to embrace their own who are gay; we are creating down low brothers. These men and women are our brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers. If we're ever gonna have a real community we've got to have an honest conversation.


Listen to audio of Jeff Johnson's amazing commentary here. The clip is less than six minutes long, but in that time Jeff speaks an awful lot of truth to those that may not always want to hear it.

AfterElton.com has just released it's list of eleven public figures who made the bold step to publicly disclose their sexual orientation in 2009 at the risk of alienating fans, financial loss, and a fury of backlash. A few notables that made the list are pop singer Adam Lambert, Louis Van Amstel (Dancing With The Stars), Matt Doyle (Gossip Girl), and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family). But none of the aforementioned stood to lose as much as gospel singer Tonex' by admitting their homosexuality.


You may recall reading about Tonex's controversial coming out on this blog back in September and the subsequent exclusive interview granted to lodarian.com in his native San Diego.


AfterElton on their decision to include Tonex':


"Tonex takes a no nonsense approach to his same-sex attraction, emphasizing it’s not a struggle, and it’s not from a result of having been molested as a child. He seems to understand he’s risking his career in gospel, but that is worth also helping others by being honest about himself. He’s become a target of ex-gay activists like Donnie McClurkin, but he’s still making music. Even better, he was just nominated for a Grammy in the Best Urban Alternative Performance category."


As I read over the list it suddenly became troubling and not at the fault of AfterElton.com. The first thing I noticed was ten out of eleven individuals mentioned shared one thing in common-they're all white. Tonex' is the only person to appear from the gospel music industry (which we all know has it's share of gay men) to the more mainstream entertainment industry which we also know is filled with LGBT people of color in front of the camera and behind the scenes.


In no way am I indirectly suggesting gay entertainers should feel obligated to come out as it's a deeply personal decision. But how much longer will black entertainers (*cough* Queen Latifah, Eddie Murphy, Tyler Perry) and ordinary black folks continue to keep the pad lock on the closet door?


I'm always hearing about what we stand to lose by coming out but I rarely hear anyone talk about what an individual stands to gain by living authentically.


Kudos to Tonex' for leading the way in 2009. Hopefully someone else will be brave enough in 2010 to accept the baton and run with it...we'll see.

Video bloggers Kevin & Makael who together co-host the wildly popular The Skorpion Show on YouTube have managed to find humor in the otherwise depressing nature of the blockbuster film "Precious".


In the recently released video that has already been viewed over 50,000 times the duo re-enacts the infamous stairwell scene between Mary (Mo'Nique) and Precious (Gabourey Sidibe).


Kevin & Makael have acquired quite a following online with over 23,00 YouTube subscribers and recognition by the mainstream press with their no holds barred gay sense of delivery. If you want entertainment and social commentary with a twist then they will surely deliver.


Get into the video below and keep in mind that it's a parody. This video contains adult language and may not be suitable for work.

Marriage equality became a reality for DC gay and lesbian couples yesterday as the DC City Council voted 11-2 approving legislation granting all of the rights afforded to heterosexual couples to same-sex couples.


Gay community leaders praised the decision of the eleven Council members who chose to vote for equality.


"The families of our LGBT sisters and brothers deserve the same rights and protections as any others, and this legislation absolutely strengthens families,” said NBJC Executive Director Sharon J. Lettman. “We celebrate this victory along with all those who have worked to ensure that civil rights in our nation's capital apply to everyone.”


"This is a place people come to see the Constitution and understand what it means to be equal, so symbolically this means a great deal," said Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign.


According to an analysis by the Office of the Chief Financial Officer, more than 10,000 same-sex couples from across the country could get married in the District over the next three years if the measure becomes law.


The analysis, created in the weeks leading up to Tuesday's historic council vote, estimates that 2,000 gay couples who live in the District will marry shortly after the law takes effect. But the bulk of the weddings, which could pump millions of dollars into the regional economy, would probably be out-of-state couples unable to marry in their own states, according to the analysis, a copy of which was obtained by The Washington Post. It concludes that at least $5 million, and perhaps as much as $22 million, would be generated by same-sex weddings in the District over the next three years.


Yesterday's vote temporarily ends a hard fought battle by the opposition led by anti-gay Bishop Harry Jackson along with several black DC clergy and The National Organization for Marriage; the organization responsible for the ballot defeats in California & Maine.


In recent weeks the Catholic Church has also vowed to sever crucial social services to the poor & homeless in protest if the marriage bill were to pass.


NOM issued a press release yesterday vowing to continue the fight to defeat the new marriage law at the ballot box.


"The people of D.C. have a right, guaranteed by the charter, which is D.C.'s constitution, to vote to protect marriage. Politicians on the city council are acting as if they have the right through legislation to deprive citizens of D.C. of their core civil right to vote, but we will not let them get away with it."


"We have one message for David Catania and the rest of these politicians today: this fight is not over. We will go to Congress, we will go to the courts, we will fight for the people’s right to vote and we will win!"


Local and national gay rights leaders note that opponents face a difficult fight: Both the Democratic-controlled House and Senate and President Obama would all have to block the legislation, which is unlikely.


DC Mayor Adrian Fenty has promised to sign the legislation and it could reach his desk by the end of the week.


Watch the roll call of the vote here and be sure to peep Bishop Jackson's face on the front row as the bill passes. Classic.

Director Roger Omeus Jr. is gearing up to release the sequel to the breakout indie gay film Finding Me and is titillating fans with a brand new trailer fortr Finding Me: Truth due to be released next summer.


The old characters audiences grew to love are back and there's also new faces including out gay rapper and loldarian.com favorite Bry'nt and a special cameo by the legendary Martha Wash.


You can follow the journey of Finding Me from the page to opening night with lots of behind the scenes info & cast interviews on the official Finding Me blog. It looks like this is going to be the perfect date movie for black LGBT audiences next summer.


Get into the new trailer below:

I know you're wondering where I've been. I haven't abandoned the blog or you,my readers who have supported this blog immensely over the past three years. I'm still here.


A week without writing for me seems like years,so if you're a regular reader then I know you've missed the updates and I've missed providing them for you.


I'd just like everyone to know I'm human and not a machine(mainly a reminder to myself)
and sometimes it's imperative to take a break and step away from it all and focus on Darian.


I stopped sharing my personal life on the blog a long time ago but for some reason I feel it's appropriate to do so now.


Ending a relationship that lasted for three years is never easy but in my case necessary.One can try to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for the aftermath of the separation,but it's usually never easy even when you initiate the break up as I did.


I won't go into specific details, although if you follow me on Twitter you probably got an eye full during my tweets last night.lol


I will be spending most of today preparing to move into my brand new apartment tomorrow morning and I'm thrilled! Who's coming to help me with these damn boxes? Lol!


On a serious note. I can't thank you guys enough for supporting me and sending such wonderful e-mails, tweets, and Facebook messages. I may have to walk alone but I'm not lonely(Thanks for that line T0N3X').


I'm on my way back and I see endless possibilities in 2010. The only thing that can possibly stop my personal growth and this blog from going to the next level now is me and I'm getting out of my own way. Stay tuned.

Video has surfaced of a very spirited debate between Rev. Irene Monroe and Bishop Harry Jackson shot prior to the National Equality March on Washington.


Rev. Monroe is Coordinator of the African American Roundtable of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and Ministry at the Pacific School of Religion and a frequent contributor to Pam's House Blend. She is also a lesbian.


Bishop Jackson needs no introduction as his anti-gay record has been covered extensively on loldarian.com and throughout the blogosphere. Bishop Jackson is at the forefront of the movement to stop marriage equality from becoming a reality in DC, an effort that is most likely to fail as the DC City Council voted 11-2 on Monday in the first of two votes that will legalize same-sex marriage in the district.


This debate is particularly noteworthy as it provides a different point of view of scripture as it relates to LGBT people and marriage equality from Rev. Monroe. Too often homophobic messages by ministers such as Bishop Jackson saturate the media and give the false impression that his views are widely held by the black community and black clergy. There are affirming churches and clergy and it's time their messages of love, tolerance, and inclusivity are heard.


Get into the debate below and tell me your thoughts:





Thanks NBJC

Openly gay actor and loldarian.com favorite JR Rolley (Christopher Street, A Four Letter Word) has just been named one of the sexiest men alive by Australian DNA Magazine. Rolley is one of seventy actors, models, athletes, and adult film stars to receive the honor of which only a small handful are men of color including Noah's Arc alum Darryl Stephens.


Rolley tells loldarian.com that he "could not be more excited to be mentioned among such great talent".


The beautiful actor will be seen next in the film adaptation of Lee Hayes' erotic anthology Flesh to Flesh. You can also catch him in the romantic comedy A Four Letter Word playing on LOGO.


If you haven't seen enough of JR Rolley and why we love him click this link for more. Warning: Your computer screen may melt.

The New York Senate rejected a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage in the Empire State by a vote of 38-24 after a passionate debate on the floor earlier today. Today's vote was the culmination of months of heated political battles by both parties, anti-gay rhetoric from Senate opposition, and tireless efforts on behalf of Gov. David Patterson to ensure the bills passage.


Gov Patterson released this statement following the vote:


“It is always darkest before the dawn. The darkest day in the history of the American civil rights movement was in 1857 when the Supreme Court ruled against Dred Scott, making slavery legal north of the 36th parallel. That was the darkest day for the abolitionists. But when we look back in history, we forget that this was only five years before the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation in September of 1862.


“I understand the anger; I understand the frustration; I understand the feeling of betrayal; and I understand the profound disappointment of those who came to Albany today thinking they could get married tomorrow. But I am also here to tell you that we are not back to square one.


“Governors don’t come to the Senate floor after losing a vote. This one does, because this is a fight that is bigger than one legislative vote. This is a civil rights issue. Marriage equality is as important as the emancipation of any group from oppression and the granting of equal rights to any community.


“I believe in my heart that if people had voted their consciences today, we would be celebrating marriage equality tonight. That did not happen. As disappointed as we are today, let’s get up tomorrow and redouble our efforts. We are going to lay the foundation to make people feel comfortable to vote their conscience and not fear political backlash.


“Now we know who we have to talk to. We are going to quash the intimidation; we are going to alleviate the pressure; we are going to move this issue back to the floor of the Senate and we are going to have marriage equality in New York State and equal rights for everybody.”





The Senate debate on marriage equality was streamed live over the internet and received over 10,000 views setting a record for the most watched Senate hearing to date.


African-American Senators Eric Adams and Senator Ruth Hassell-Thompson proved to be strong straight allies as they offered two of the most powerful speeched in support of marriage equality during today's debate. I urge you to watch both.

Comedienne Wanda Sykes has been included in Ebony Magazine's annual Power 150 list of the most influential African-Americans and graces one of eight covers for this special issue. This marks the first time an openly black lesbian has ever appeared on the cover of Ebony Magazine. I know what you're thinking...Queen Latifah doesn't count.


Sykes has become the most high profile black lesbian after she made the decision to come out shortly after the passage of Proposition 8 in California;the amendment effectively banning marriage equality across the state.


Since then her star has continued to rise. Sykes' was personally invited by The Obama Administration to perform during the recent White House Correspondents Dinner in May and recently became the first black lesbian to host her own late night talk show.


"Unfortunately, the short blurb on her in the magazine makes a highly guarded, tiptoeing mention of her orientation", notes blogger Alvin McEwen.


McEwen also notes an article within the same issue of openly gay director Lee Daniels (Precious) in which he acknowledges his orientation.


The Power 150 list was compiled by the editors of Ebony in consultation with national experts and leaders in the field, the two criteria being:


1) In the past year, did the individual transcent his or her position and exhibit widespread national influence?


2) In the past year, did the individual affect in a decisive and positive way the lives, thinking and actions of large segments of the African-American population, either by his/her position in a key group, or by his/her personal reach and influence.


The inclusion of Sykes on the cover of a magazine that has become a staple in the (heterosexual) black community is a small step in the right direction. It may not break down doors or eradicate the pervasive homophobia in our community but it just may spark a discussion.

The wait is finally over for fans of the hit webseries Drama Queenz. The series follows three gay struggling actors in New York City through the ups and downs of auditioning and relationships. Drama Queenz stars Dane Joseph (Jeremiah), Kristen Alexzander Griffith (Davis), and Troy Valjean Rucker (Preston).


With very little programming geared towards gay men of color Drama Queenz is well written, smartly acted, and above all else a breath of fresh air. Let's support this show and hopefully give it the boost it needs to move from the internet into television homes across the country.


Get into the first episode of the second season below:

In observance of World Aids Day and the millions of lives we've lost to HIV/AIDS and the millions more who are living with the disease worldwide I'd like to repost an interview that was featured earlier this year during my "Living Positive" series.


As I've said before either you're personally infected or affected by HIV/AIDS, the fight to eradicate this monster is far from over and we must talk about it every day of the year and not just on December 1.


Blogger Andre Allen of Washington, D.C. who is also openly gay and HIV positive shares his story from diagnosis to denial and ultimately living a life in which he was able to thrive in the face of HIV. His courage is commendable.


Do you know your status? If not, click here to find a testing center in your area.