Living Out Loud with Darian

It always amazes me when I find out exactly who’s reading my blog. Initially I assumed that only gay men of color would be interested in reading my thoughts since that is the perspective from which I write, but I’m learning my scope was limited and in reality people from all walks of life log on to this site including Terry McMillan.

The very bitter divorce between Terry and ex-husband Jonathan Plummer has been the subject of countless magazine articles and numerous television shows. Who could forget the infamous Oprah Winfrey Show appearance in 2005 and the shocking $40 million dollar lawsuit that soon followed. Today Jonathan Plummer is living openly as a gay man and has added the title of author to his name after releasing his first novel “Balancing Act”, a book that hasn’t received the warmest reception in some parts of the country.

Over the weekend Terry took the time to leave her thoughts on a post I’d written about an Oakland bookstore’s decision not sell his novel and in true Terry McMillan style she didn’t hold back on her thoughts about Jonathan, the book, or the gay community’s perception of her, reminding us all that she is indeed the victim and not Jonathan.

So have we wrongly accused Terry McMillan of being homophobic? Is Jonathan Plummer simply an opportunist who used her to get ahead? With the release of his book it seems both sides still have a story to tell. Then why not tell it here?

An Invitation To Terry:

Terry I’d like to give you the opportunity to address all of your concerns here on this site. I know there are two sides to every story and if I along with the rest of the gay community have misjudged you based on the information presented, then by all means let’s set the record straight. Starbucks or Coffee Bean? I can be reached at darianoutloud@mac.com , let's make it happen.

Last week I was enraged by the mainstream gay community's response to The Jena 6 and HRC's presence at the rally in Louisiana. From blogger Chris Crain to the Advocate op-ed written by James Kirchick, it was painfully obvious that racism was not exclusive to people outside of our community.

I was not holding my breath waiting for an article to appear in the Advocate that was pro Jena 6, so you have to imagine how surprised I was to read that Rev. Monroe was given a chance to follow up Kirchick's article with a different point of view.

Thanks for representing Rev. Monroe. You can read the article here .

Ms. Oprah Winfrey will take a look inside the world of transgender children on today's (Friday Sep.28) show. I've not always felt Oprah has been an ally for the LGBT community , so it will be interesting to see how she approaches this complex subject. As we know Oprah has the power to change the hearts and minds of millions of people, so hopefully today's show will educate the masses on what it's like to be born in the wrong body. Check your local listings for showtimes and make sure to visit the message board after the show because the homophobes sure will.

Have a great weekend and see you on Monday !

This post was taken with permission from the blog of Adam Irby. After reading it and being able to relate to it on so many different levels, I thought it was a piece that should be shared with as many people as possible, so I'm posting it here. Adam is a wonderful writer and his blog is one of my favorites. Make sure you send him some love.


from ABenjaminIrby.com

What's the one thing every gay man is most afraid of?

Is it getting fat? Nope. But it's a good guess. Is it dying and going to hell? Nope. Well, I guess, for the church queens, but as a whole, no. Is it "the big disease with a little name"? Nope. Yes I said "nope," you heard me. Considering the statistics and our actions as a whole, as a community we obviously aren't all that afraid of it. Not to discount it at all but our collective actions toward it do not illustrate that we are all that fearful. So what is it you ask, what strikes fear in the hearts of all gay men? Growing old and alone.

A gay man once told me that the gay life is a lonely life. So many of us in this world, gay without our permission, born into this world, feeling flawed, look at straight people and all the opportunities they have to come together and start a family and at all the encouragement society as a whole gives them as opposed to all the discouragement and abuse society gives us.

Not to mention the way we fuck each other over. He fucked you over so you fuck over the next one and that next one fucks somebody over who you end up meeting at a club and ends up fucking you over and at the end of he day it's like what the fuck? When does it all fucking end? Can two man ever just fucking be together and be happy without all the fucking bullshit?

This is the thing, we're all wounded, wounded and scared. It's hard growing up gay in this world. More than likely our parents and other relatives don't understand us or were abusive to us. We were made fun of in school, we lived double lives, etc., etc. We all have our own emotional baggage to deal with. We put up defenses and walls to shield our all too oft broken hearts from more pain. We do it to protect ourselves but in the process we push anyone else away. As a result we're snappy, we're rude, we're fierce, we're cynical, we're jaded, 'we've created a fuck or be fucked, fuck that 'cuz I'ma get mine' world for ourselves and yet the better part of us still expects to be happy. Even if someone means us well we don't believe it because we're simply not used to it.

So what are we gonna do about it? Actually, I can't tell you what to do. As I haven't done it myself yet. The question is what am I gonna do about it? The last few weeks have been really introspective for me. I've been looking inside, seeing what makes me tick, seeing why my relationships don't work. Let's have a look at my patterns:

ADAM'S RELATIONSHIP PATTERN:
This is so fucking embarrassing by the way, but I think this is a good exercise you should do for yourself in the privacy of your own home and not necessarily for the whole world to see like I have here. Remember, we can rationalize our way out of thinking that we have a problem as long as we only let it live in our heads. But once we put it on paper it's not as easy to deny. Here we go:

- Adam meets a guy.
- Adam is attracted to the guy.
- Adam does whatever he can to sleep with the guy.
- Adam sleeps with the guy and if he doesn't get to sleep with the guy he usually becomes disinterested in the guy altogether.
- Now Adam has feelings for the guy.
- Adam as usual feels a little more for the guy than the guy feels for him.
- Adam is now scared. These are the things Adam is scared of:

- Adam is scared to show too much emotion to the guy because he's afraid that he won't get it back and that will make him feel invalidated.
- Adam is scared whenever he calls or texts and does not receive a call or text back within the hour that maybe he's doing too much and the guy is over him.
- Adam has a perpetual underlying fear that the guy will just stop calling or corresponding altogether out of the blue because it's happened to him a few times in the past and it hurt... A LOT!
- Adam knows that he has done some triflin' ass shyt in the past and is always waiting for the proverbial ax to fall.

- Adam as a result of Adam's fear of being abandoned again is torn between wanting to outpour the feelings he's feeling to the guy or to be guarded and aloof (which he's really not but only is now as a result of being hurt so many times before) in an attempt to ready himself just in case this guy abandons him.
- Adam wonders why can't he ever find a guy who likes him as equally as he likes the guy.
- Adam has actually found people like that in the past but somehow to him it just doesn't seem real so he doesn't trust it or it may actually be real but if Adam is not physically and sexually attracted to the guy then it doesn't matter to him anyway.
- Adam does more and more to get the guy to like him and validate him but the guy never really gives Adam the pat on the back that he craves.
- Adam starts to get annoyed at the fact the that he goes all out of the way for the guy and he's still not getting the validation he wants. Mind you the guy never asked for all of this sacrifice from Adam.
- Adam is frustrated, at the end of his rope and ready to break things off but he doesn't want to be alone.
- Adam passively seeks out someone else to get with as insurance as he feels that him and this guy are about to be over.
- Adam snaps and breaks things off because the guy committed a minor offense against him that most people probably would have just dealt with or ignored but not Adam, he's way too hypersensitive to invalidation and is hurt by even the smallest, most insignificant slight at this point.
- Adam is alone again and moves in closer on the new guy.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. This is my relationship cycle in black and white. Dayum I sound crazy as hell. I don't feel too bad though cuz most of y'all bitches is crazy too. I've dated some of you. Like I said I don't have an answer yet. I know that it's definitely me who needs work but then again with all my emotional baggage flung across my shoulder I could be attracting the wrong type of men as well. I will look at this and look at my current dating situation and figure out exactly where I am on the cycle and figure out the best way to break the chain because I'm so tired of going through the same shyt over and over again. And I sure as hell do not wanna end up old and alone.

Like I always say "knowing is half the battle." Now that I have admitted publicly that I don't have it all together I can take steps toward trying to put me together. Like I said before I'm wounded, so before I can be a part of a successful relationship I have to love myself enough to heal me first so I can have something to give to someone else. So cliche, but nevertheless so true.

Labels: Sexuality

I opened my inbox this morning and the first e-mail of the day I read was a piece from The Advocate on The Jena 6 by writer James Kirchick. I'm not a morning person but I was feeling extra good because I woke up with the love of my life next to me, but my mood quickly turned sour as I read the racist bullshit that continues to come out of the mouths of white gay America regarding the Jena 6 and HRC's support of the cause. Everything I wrote in my piece regarding these two groups and the mainstream gay community's reaction to the Jena 6 was only re-enforced by this article.

Read it for yourself here and get ready to hurl.

Labels: Activism

Can I just say how much I love B. Scott...no seriously ! We're all used to seeing how funny and over the top B is in his videos, well today he shows us a more serious side. I think all of us can relate to the issue he deals with in this video. How many of you have felt the sting of rejection from family or friends just because of your sexuality? I think we all have, and we can all agree that it's the rejection from family that usually hurts the most. Get into this video and make sure you check out B. Scott at lovebscott.com .

Labels: Video Blog

If you thought the drama between Jonathan Plummer and Terry McMillan was over, then think again because it's just getting started. If you don't know their story then you must have been hiding in a cave for the past few years. Here's a quick recap: Wealthy celebrity flies to Jamaica, falls in love with a twenty year old, brings him back to the states, marries him, writes a best-seller that becomes a blockbuster film, he comes out as a gay man, she loses her damn mind all over national tv, sues him for 40 million, he writes his side of the story in a fictional book loosely based on their relationship called "Balancing Act". Are you following me? Good.

Now that Jonathan's book is ready to hit shelves not every bookseller is embracing him or his story with open arms. Marcus Books in Oakland, California has refused to buy the book, or sell it for that matter. Local club promoter and host of Real Talk with Joe Hawkins called Marcus Books to finds out why they were refusing to support the book. "The woman who answered the phone said that they were not selling the book now and wouldn't be in the future. "She stated that it is the bookstores personal preference not to sell the book".

Personal preference? Or personal prejudice? I hope that Marcus Books didn't arrive at their decision based on intolerance and homophobia. There's already so many external elements that threaten to divide our community, the last thing we need is for our own to block the success of a brotha on the come up. Besides, shouldn't it be left up to the public whether or not we want to buy Jonathan's book?

I've heard from some people that they're simply exhausted from Terry and Jonathan's public divorce/media blitz . I wonder what Jonathan has to say about all of this? Hmmmmm...stay tuned

The names and lives of Tim'm West, Monte J. Wolfe and Erik Chambers are synonymous with strength, courage, and perseverance. These three black gay men collectively breathe life into Brave Soul Collective, a website founded to educate the black gay community on the reality of HIV/AIDS. They all speak from their own personal experiences of being black, gay, and HIV positive. They are extremely honest about their lives and what led to their seroconversion in an attempt to keep others HIV negative.

They recently asked for submissions on their website from people who were willing to tell their stories of living with HIV. Submissions can be entered with a name or anonymously. The first entry comes from Alan Sharpe, director of African -American Collective Theater in Washington, D.C. . Alan tested positive during the early nineties before anti-retroviral drugs were available and HIV/AIDS was still considered a death sentence. His story is one of a proud openly gay man who refused to let HIV control him, but decided to take control of HIV. You can read Alan's story here .



If you would like to submit your story to Brave Soul Collective here's the info you will need.

from Brave Soul Collective.org:

We are now accepting submissions from individuals who would like to tell their stories. It is our hope that we'll have people from all walks of life---male, female, gay, straight, bisexual, all ethnicities, who'll be willing to come forth to share a glimpse into their lives with HIV. The amount of time that you've lived with HIV is not important either. Whether you've been newly infected or have been living with the virus for 20 years and counting...doesn't matter.
Submissions can be published on our site by actual name or anonymously, depending on each individual's personal wishes and their comfort level. Submissions may anywhere from 350-750 words, depending on how detailed the author wishes to be. Any persons interested in more information about this feature or wishing to submit a written piece can email us at: submissions@bravesoulcollective.org.

Labels: HIV/AIDS

I don't even have words for this nonsense.

Just wanted to direct your attention to an article written by Ryan Lee of Atlanta's local LGBT newspaper Southern Voice on the anti-gay comments made recently by Ja Rule. Yours truly is quoted towards the end of the article. You can read the article here . Thanks Ryan! Now I guess we'll just have to wait a little longer for Southern Voice to realize I could be an asset to their publication.

Let me forewarn you, this might hurt . As thousands of protesters descended upon the small town of Jena, Louisiana in support of the Jena 6, many of whom were African-American ministers, students, activists, or just ordinary people who felt compelled to stand up against the racial injustice that has plagued Jena and our country . There was a surprising ally present marching with the multitude, displaying their signature yellow and blue logo, and even taking to the microphone to verbally express their support of what many people believe is just a "black issue".

Joe Solmonese, president of The Human Rights Campaign said they were there "because this injustice cannot stand". "We are here because we know about bigotry. We know about hate. We know the pain in high school of standing apart. Of being taunted. Of standing up, only too often, to be shut down. I am here -- we are here -- because you have stood with us. Because all of us know that one injustice against any of us is an injustice against all of us.

I've been very critical of HRC in the past because as a black gay man the issues that directly affect my community are often ignored by this powerful white gay organization. Proving that separatism and racism also exists in the gay community as I will illustrate a bit further shortly. But on September 20, 2007 HRC chose to stand with the African-American community and The Jena 6 despite the backlash they were sure to receive from their ardent supporters for aligning themselves with a non LGBT issue, or should I say just a non-white issue.

No matter where you stand on this issue, whether it's in support of the district attorney's decision to charge the Jena 6 with attempted murder or the public outcry to have the boys released you would have to be in complete denial or simply a racist not to acknowledge the unfair and racially biased treatment of the Jena 6. I applaud HRC for not limiting the scope of it's organization to mainstream white gay causes, by acknowleding that they should represent black gays and lesbians not only who are victims of homophobia and workplace discrimination but racism as well. However, some within the HRC ranks are not pleased with Solmoneses' presence at the rally and they are not biting their tongue.

Blogger and Washington Blade editor Chris Crain had this to say, "I understand the politics of why HRC became involved in the campaign to "Free the Jena 6." African-American and other civil rights leaders have been very supportive on the issues we say are important to us, and now HRC is being supportive on the issues they say are important to them. It's scratch-your-back and no doubt for some based on a genuinely felt bond among civil rights groups.

Still, why pick this case? It doesn't involve discrimination of the type suffered historically by gay Americans. I would agree completely that there is racial discrimination in this country, and that the criminal justice system suffers from prosecutorial abuse, biased jury verdicts and lopsided sentences based on race.

But if these injustices are as common as Joe and I both believe they are, then why pick the "Jena 6"? Why pick a case of six bullies who beat, kicked and stomped a defenseless teen unconscious in a schoolyard -- as the one for the GLBT movement to take a stand?

The thoughts of Chris Crain exemplifies the white privilege many gays in the mainstream community still benefit from despite knowing all too well the dark side of discrimination and inequality based on their sexual orientation. Chris was right when he said the Jena 6 kicked and stomped the white student. I don't condone violence of any kind, but I've only been out of school for 10 years and during my time students who fought were written up, given detention, or even suspended but they were never locked up and charged with attempted murder, especially when the victim was well enough to attend a party the very same night.

Chris' dismissal of the racial overtones of this case and his description of The Jena 6 as "macho bullies" and "them" or "they" clearly displays his lack of compasssion and understanding for any injustice that doesn't resemble the Matthew Shepard story. Sad, but unfortunately for blacks and black gays and lesbians this is our America, we are still fighting for a place at the table.

While Joe Solmonese and HRC have a lot of catching up to do in terms of including black LGBT folks and truly showing a commitment to diversity within the HRC ranks, yesterday was definitely a step in the right direction.

But I do have to ask where were all of the Bishops from the hundreds of mega-churches all over the country? TD Jakes, Bishop Eddie Long, Bishop Paul Morton, Bishop Charles E. Blake, Creflo (Give Me A) Dollar? (*sounds of crickets*)

Labels: Activism, Racism

Family Business from The African -American Collective Theater in Washington, DC. I love this clip! There's nothing like seeing same gender love on stage. Get into it !

Labels: Entertainment

Depending on what day of the week it is Mitt Romney might be for gay rights or against it. The Republican presidential candidate recently launched a radio ad in Iowa, (you know the state where gay marriage was legal for about 24 hours) promoting his stance on backing a constitutuional amendment on gay marriage. I swear I think the Republicans are playing a game to see who can hate gays publicly the most. Mitt is dead set on pandering to the religious right, but what he fails to realize is that he'll never be able to please these people because he's not quite bigoted enough. A. he's a mormon and B. they're all aware of his past support of the gays so they'll never buy into the idea that he can be a true God- fearing Jerry Falwell bigot...sorry Mitt. I think the dems have got this race all locked up.

You can listen to Mitt's radio ad here . Make sure you listen to this line from the ad that still has me making ugly faces. "As republicans we must oppose "discrimination" and defend traditional marriage, one man, one woman." Can someone please help me make sense of that?

The black blogosphere is weighing in on comments made by academy award nominated actress Queen Latifah during a recent interview with Ebony Magazine. Latifah was asked about internet rumors surrounding an alleged romance with female trainerJeanette Jenkins, this is what she had to say:

"No comment on that at all. I'm done commenting on all that ... It's ridiculous, I know me and that's all I need to know.“And if the readers don't know me, then that’s one part they aren't going to get to know. Those are my people but they don't sleep with me," she says in a very even tone that is very consistent with her relaxed mood. "It feels so invasive. It's the one thing I don't think people need to know about."

Great way to dodge the question Latifah. But it's obvious Queen Latifah and other black celebrities have become pros when it comes to not disclosing the one aspect of their life that is so obvious to everyone else. There is so much truth in the idea that if you don't confirm who you really are for those who assume then the charade will continue.

I asked my boyfriend to tell me at least five black celebrities who are out and he could not tell me one. On the flip side the list of white celebrities who are out seemed endless. So why are gay black entertainers so afraid to come out?

Some would say Luther Vandross carried his secret to the grave with him. After years of making beautiful love songs that I'm sure were sung at thousands of weddings , Luther himself was never comfortable enough to come out and live life openly as a gay man or even have a wedding of his own.

Some people believe that it's their right to live a closeted life if they choose and the public should stay out of their personal business. Not a single comment I've read on any blog so far illustrates this point better than a comment left by a reader on jasmynecannick.com :

"I'm not sure what planet you live on, but you know damn well if she came out black people would trip. You are giving the general public way too much credit ... it would hurt her career and she knows that. And besides, it's none of anybody's damn business. Coming out is a process and she should do it in her own time. If that time never comes, then so be it. But it should be done her way. I get tired of judgmental queens and dykes trying to bully people into coming out. I'm out, but I don't have anything against people who aren't because everybody isn't in the position to be. She has a hell of a lot more to lose than gain by screaming "I'm gay." Let the woman do her thing. She has never proclaimed to be a model of strength to lesbian women of color. It's this kind of position that is a big part of the reason the gay community is as divided as it is. If people would just let folks live, things wouldn't be as hostile as they often are. People just need to let folks be ..."

Interesting and truthful to a point. How many times have you heard that homosexuality doesn't exist in the black community or that homosexuality in our culture is a result of white influence? Probably too many times to count. I remember as a young child coming into my own and dealing with my sexuality how alone I felt because I thought there was no one around who I could relate to. There was no one on television that loved the way I did and no model of a SGL relationship for me to learn from.

I know black gays often have extra baggage to deal with when we decide to come out, but I find it extremely hard to believe that in 2007 we would completely abandon a Queen Latifah or Eddie Murphy if they decided to come out. As long as they are producing quality work black people will support them. We're still buying R. Kelly albums by the millions and he's a pedophile!

As long as these closeted celebrities continue to hide who they are they will continue to drive the belief that being gay is something to be ashamed of. And with all of the progress Americans have made to understand and embrace LGBT folks(yet we still have a long way to go)and the dozens of white celebrities who are out, we are still afraid to say I'm black, gay, and proud. Now that's the real shame.

Labels: Coming Out

The Republican candidate rejects who will never have a real chance at securing the nomination for the presidency sold their souls to the religious right on Monday night during a debate on moral values in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And of course you know the first question of the night was whether or not they would support a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. The panelists comprised of uber-conservatives Janet Folger of Faith 2 Action and Phyliss Schlafy of Eagle Forum among others, wasted no time finding out exactly how far the candidates would go to strip the LGBT community of their rights.

But the scary part of the whole evening besides the comparisons of homosexuality with beastiality and pedophilia was the over the top performance by Alan Keyes. The black conservative from Illinois (who got his ass whipped by Barack Obama!) tout his opposition to gay equality despite his personal experience having a lesbian daughter. I'm sure it won't be too long before he's in the middle of a Republican scandal...the lady doth protest too much!

All of this proceeds Mitt Romney's radio ad set to air today confirming his staunch opposition to gay marriage. Meet the John Kerry flip-flopper of this presidential race. I guess Mitt forgot about this flyer from a few years ago.



The serious Republican candidates didn't even bother showing up to this debate. Get into the video below and after a few minutes I'm sure you'll understand why.

Labels: Politics

Lord have mercy if I wasn't married I would be in a lot of trouble after watching this video! Britney never looked so good ! Thanks Steven.

MiMi PlaStIque DnT pLaY!!

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Warning! Do not play this video at work if you want to keep your job.

Suga MaMa

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Damn he looks so good I wanna buy him a short set ! -Beyonce

Labels: Entertainment, Video Blog

You all know him or you've heard about him. He's the angry "straight guy" who frequents gay blogs and leaves the most hateful comments that you'll most likely only hear from the likes of Rev. Fred Phelps or Tim Hardaway. He calls himself The Captain and last night I seized the opportunity to find out who he really is and what drives him to engage in such mean-spirited attacks on the LGBT community. Our conversation was interesting, frustrating, and enlightening at the same time.

Ever since I started writing this blog he has been a consistent presence in the comments section. Many of you have argued back and forth with him on this site as well as others, so today I thought I would give you not only a visual of the person behind the attacks, but the voice, and the one of a kind personality that always seems to get a rise out of people.

Click here to listen .

I knew it would only be a matter of time before GLAAD President Neil Guilano was all over Ja Rule for anti-gay comments he made recently regarding gays on television to Complex Magazine. It has become a standard for GLAAD to demand an apology from those who dare to display their homophobia in front of the world, but surprisingly a different approach was taken this time.

"No fair-minded person can look at Ja Rule’s interview with Complex Magazine and believe for one second that his children could be more harmed by what they might see on television than by the vulgarity and prejudice that comes out of their father’s mouth. Now that media have seen JaRule’s intolerance unmasked by his own words, they have a responsibility not to provide in the future a platform for his ugly, vulgar displays of prejudice.” -GLAAD

Ja Rule's new cd will be dropping soon and one can only believe that this was an attempt on his part to get some press for a career that ended years ago. I hope he enjoyed the attention he received from the gay community over the past few days because the hip-hop community continues to ignore him. It's a shame he hasn't learned that the gay community is loyal to artists who support us. Ask Jennifer Holliday, we pretty much kept food in her stomach post Dreamgirls.

My dear friend Jeff sent me this youtube video yesterday of a very talented 2 year old doing her best impression of Jennifer Hudson. Could their possibly be an Oscar in her future? Get into the video and see for yourself. Have a great weekend until we meet again on Monday.

Labels: Entertainment

Maybe you guys remember the raspy voice of pint-sized rapper Ja Rule from the early 2000's when he had a string of hits on the Murder Inc. label and was still deemed relevant. No? Well Ja hasn't been receiving attention for his music lately but he has turned a few heads recently with comments regarding gay visibility on MTV and the networks support of program diversity.

When speaking out against congressional hearings on hip-hop music Ja Rule had this to say:" We need to go step to MTV and Viacom, and lets talk about all these fucking shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can’t watch this shit. Dating shows that’s showing two guys or two girls in mid-afternoon. Let’s talk about shit like that! If that’s not fucking up America, I don’t know what is".

I guess Ja is all up in arms about the new bisexual dating show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila", where 16 men and 16 women will compete for the affection of Tila and other similar dating shows that aren't exclusive to heterosexual couples.

I love it how Ja and others like him think that their kids will somehow catch the gay bug if they see two men or two women on tv being affectionate. What's sad is that many Americans would rather see two men at war than holding hands. With all of the violence in hip-hop, misogynistic lyrics( Ja how many times have you called women who look like your son's mother a bitch in your music?)and the huge quantity of young people who consume this music, I think it's fair to say hip-hop has a far more reaching effect and often a negative one.

I respect parents for trying to protect their children from elements in society that may cause them harm, however sexual orientation is innate and no matter how much a person views homosexuality on tv or in person if they're not gay by birth then no MTV dating show is going to change that. Children are smarter than most adults give them credit for and often times more accepting, it's the adults that teach intolerance.

Ja might want to concentrate on reviving his dead rap career and spending less time teaching wack family values and standing in the way of progress.

Here's a clip from the campy daytime soap Passions that's sure to Make Ja Rule grab his kids and run for the hills!! Rumor has it that the show has been cancelled, say it ain't so ! It's so bad it's good. Thanks to Nova for bringing this clip to my attention. Enjoy!

It's been months since homophobic Mayor Jim Naugle of Fort Lauderdale, Florida first launched his campaign to clean up the public bathrooms and parks of what he considered to be rampant homosexual sex. With only 8 arrests in two years, the mayor rang the alarm on a few isolated incidents and declared an epidemic. But it wasn't his desire to "clean up" the city that had everyone up in arms it was his political terrorism on the gay community and people living with HIV/AIDS that divided the community, turned away LGBT travelers, and eventually caused Naugle to be removed from the local tourism board.

Not since the early days of AIDS have I seen an individual and his supporters spew so much anti-gay rhetoric and hate. The thing that bothered me the most about this case is the support Naugle received from black ministers and others in the black community. This is a mayor that has ignored the issues affecting black people in Fort Lauderdale, yet black ministers are rushing to jump on the anti-gay Naugle bandwagon, this is disgusting ! Did we overcome and somebody forgot to tell me?

Naugle claims by getting rid of the homosexuals in Fort Lauderdale the city will see a decrease in new HIV/AIDS infections. It seems if he were so interested in fighting AIDS he would have a record a mile long of his work to eradicate the virus, but he doesn't. This is just another example of how one person's personal prejudice and bigotry is attempting to halt the progress of his city and subject a specific group to unfair discrimination. I'm glad there's people in Fort Lauderdale who stand on the side of equality for all of it's citizens.

Click here for videos on this controversy. I highly recommend the following:

NAACP community leaders respond
Group of clergymen flock to Naugle's side
Mayor Naugle's press conference turns heated

I had the pleasure of meeting the very talented singer/actor Chester Gregory over a year ago through a mutual friend and I've followed his career ever since. Many New Yorkers may remember Chester as Seaweed in the cast of Hairspray and more recently as Terk in Tarzan. He has a beautiful tenor voice that can bring down any Broadway house, not to mention the good looks and charisma to make any woman or man swoon. Usually when you find a performer that is in demand like Chester, you usually run into a huge ego as well. But Chester is both talented, a wonderful father, and an all around nice guy.

Chester recently appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart in a sketch about the fallen gay senator Larry Craig appropriately titled "Trapped In The Closet". It's definitely worth watching, get into it here .

If you're tired of the crap we're being subjected to on the radio and MTV then I urge you to get into Chester's music, you won't be disappointed. Check out his myspace page to listen to his music or the clip below.

Lawd Britney's performance was so bad that it brought Ms. B. Scott to tears ! This video needs no commentary, click play and see why B. Scott won the Black Weblog Award for best video blog. Double kisses !

Labels: Video Blog

I'm going to make this short and quick because every newspaper, magazine, and blog is ripping poor Britney Spears to shreads today. Like the rest of the world I'm extremely disappointed in her performance and her out of control behavior off stage. I was really rooting for her and I thought she was going to take this opportunity to show the world that she could still perform. But what we got was an out of shape( ok I'll cut her some slack, she has birthed two kids), low energy, disconnected Britney. It was painful and embarrasing to watch, especially if your mind drifted back to 2000 when she left the VMA audience speechless with her sexy striptease. Somewhere K-Fed is laughing his ass off.

I wish she would have listened to Timbaland and waited until she was really ready to come back. Will somebody please force her to go back to rehab and actually complete the program! I'm not ashamed to admit that I own all of Britney's albums and I've actually enjoyed her through the years, she may be a mediocre talent but she almost always kept you on the edge of your seat during her live performances... those days are over.

And is it me or has the VMA's fallen into the category of awards shows that are boring as hell and a complete waste of time, aka The Oscars? Every aspect of the show was weird even down to the Golden Globes setup with the tables and industry only audience. Who's dumb ass idea was that? The energy of the fans down front was missing and much needed. MTV needs to take Justin Timberlake's advice and start playing videos again. I think we've officially come to an end of an era. Britney Spears as we once knew her is no more and MTV has completely lost it's edge. I guess that leaves us with the wonderful programming on BET(rolling my eyes). If you want to see Britney "rehearse" Gimmie More during the performance check out the clip below.

Labels: Entertainment

Hey ! It's been a minute since I communicated with you via video, so go ahead and click play and let's get caught up. Don't worry there's no tears or drama...lol ! It's short and sweet and I made it just for you. Much love to all of my daily readers and subscribers. There would be no me without you. Alright enough... get into it! Peace and Love !

Labels: Video Blog

I'd heard of gospel singer Dwayne Woods and his testimony of how God healed him of HIV about a year ago and my initial thought was disbelief. It's not everyday that you hear of someone who tested positive come out and tell you that through prayer and faith the virus had been completely wiped out of their system. After all this is a disease that has no cure and has claimed the lives of millions of people over the past 25 years.

I truly believe that over two decades into this epidemic we are either infected or affected by this disease. It took me a really long time to watch Dwayne give his testimony because honestly I was a little skeptical. But then I thought to myself as a christian we believe that God can perform miracles, then why not in the case of Dwayne Woods and other people living with HIV or any terminal illness.

I'm posting this because I believe that somebody who comes across this post might benefit from Dwayne's testimony. Somebody who may feel like they have nothing to live for, somebody who may feel like they're used and unwanted goods, you're not in the fight alone, God is still in control.

Labels: HIV/AIDS, Religion

Allow me to share with you a tribute to one of the greatest entertainers that ever walked the face of the earth, Ms. Janet Jackson. You all may be asking yourself why in the world am I doing another post on Janet. It was not my intention to write about Janet, at least not until her new movie comes out next month, but Clay Cane got me all riled up. Somehow his readers got it all wrong by voting Janet's career and musical influence second to Madonna's. Pleazzzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeee!

I will not get into all of Janet's groundbreaking moments over the 20 years she's been in the business or all of the artists she's influenced that we love today. There would have been no Aaliyah without Janet. There would be no Beyonce today without Janet! Let's be honest for a second, we all know that Janet is everything that Beyonce wants to be(cue the Beyonce fans to leave me nasty comments) . Mya, J.Lo , Britney, Christina, everything that these girls are doing Janet invented.

Madonna may have pushed the envelope with her sexuality before Janet, but when it comes down to each artists overall contribution to the music industry and their impact on people all over the world, Janet wins hands down. Maybe I'm a little bias because Janet started a Rythmn Nation in my house long before I ever heard of that other girl. What's her name again? Oh...Madonna.

So Ms. Jackson may not have gotten her just due over on my friend Clay's site, but over here she will always reign supreme. And if you need a reminder of just how fierce she is look no further than below.

Labels: Entertainment

After weeks of seclusion after being assaulted by her husband Bishop Thomas Weeks III in an Atlanta hotel parking lot, Prophetess Juanita Bynum resurfaced and she did so in a big way. Early Wednesday afternoon Bynum gave a press conference to numerous media outlets and as expected announced that domestic violence would now be her mantle. Dressed in a denim skirt and bright pink top, Bynum projected strength and a new found clarity for God's calling on her life, but declined to comment on the future of her marriage. After engaging reporters for an extended period of time Bynum ended the conference to rush off to TBN studios to host the 2 hour special Praise The Lord.

I'm sure many people(including myself) tuned in to see a different Juanita Bynum given the circumstances, but she said it best when she looked into the camera and said, "If you're waiting to see me get pitiful, keep watching... because that's a day you'll never see"! I've not always agreed with Bynum's views especially on LGBT issues, but during the broadcast I allowed myself to push those feeling aside and witness God working in this woman's life. I must say that I don't normally watch televangelists because the authenticity of their ministry is always questionable to me, but no matter how you feel about Juanita Bynum there is no doubt this woman is anointed.

Last night I watched a real black woman, not a celebrity minister, who had just gone through a life changing event and came out of it victoriously. She hit the nail on the head when she said, "When your worst hour comes you're in your finest hour at the same time." Sometimes you've got to learn to praise God in the midst of the storm.

It's a good thing I recorded the broadcast because I think I'm gonna have to go back and watch it again just to make sure I didn't miss anything the first time. After watching Ms. Bynum and hearing her new testimony you really have no choice but to respect her. She is the epitome of the strength black women posess. It seems what the devil meant for bad God has turned it around for her good.

Halle Berry confirmed to Access Hollywood's Nancy Odell that she is indeed 3 months pregnant after rumors swirled for months about her expectancy. The 41 year old actress met current boyfriend and soon to be dad Gabriel Aubrey in November 2005. Halle has long mentioned her desire to start a family and after two failed marriages with David Justice and Eric Benet that produced no children, Halle is estatic about finally becoming a mother. But of course the haters have already started to type away at their keyboards in judgement of the un-wed mother. Are we living in the year 200 A.D. ? This is what they're saying below:





Following on the heels of Isaiah Washington's infamous gay slur, comedian and philanthropist Jerry Lewis dropped the F-bomb during his annual Labor Day Telethon in support of Muscular Dystrophy. In the 18th hour of his annual MDA Telethon, a visibly weary Lewis wandered about the stage trying to dodge the cameraman while making comments on various people. At one point, he stopped and referenced the cameraman and his family: "Your family has come to see you...you remember Bart, your oldest son...Jesse, the illiterate f**." Within hours GLAAD President Neil Giuilano was demanding an apology for Lewis' use of the anti slur and the apology came swiftly. "I apologize to anyone who was offended, everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard. In the family atmosphere of the telethon, I forget that not everyone knows me that well. "That something like this would distract from the true purpose of the telethon pains me deeply. ... I accept responsibility for what I said. There are no excuses," he said. This is what folks are saying over at TMZ.com :






Rosie O'Donnell may be gone from The View but who needs Rosie when you can have Whoopi. The new moderator of The View has already begun to raise a few eyebrows after defending troubled NFL player Michael Vick and his role in torturing dogs. Goldberg said that "from where he comes from" in the South, dogfighting isn't that unusual."It's like cockfighting in Puerto Rico," she said. "There are certain things that are indicative to certain parts of the country." Watching Joy Behar's reaction to Whoopi's defense of Vick was priceless as she was clearly on the opposite side of the argument. Check out the video here .



Finally, Senator Larry Craig is reconsidering his resignation and may be planning to run for the office he's held for the past 27 years in 2008, despite the outcry from his Republican colleagues to step down. It seems this poor closet case is dead set on further embarrasing himself and his family. Craig says he pleaded guilty in hopes the scandal would disappear. News flash! Maybe if he disappeared for a while his bathroom antics would probably be forgotten in a few years time. A word of advice Senator, go away, enjoy your retirement and maybe if you tell yourself enough that you're not gay you'll at least succeed at convincing one person.

The city of Atlanta welcomed an estimated 60,000 people to it's 14th annual Black Gay Pride over Labor Day weekend. Atlanta is home to the largest Black Gay Pride celebration in the world and participants traveled from all over the U.S. to party, attend workshops, and unite with other LGBT brothers and sisters over the course of 6 days. Kudos to the board of directors at In The Life Atlanta for a well organized and action packed event. I do believe there was something for everyone to attend whether or not you're into the party scene that most pride events are famous for .

Unfortunately, my weekend didn't go as planned and I missed a lot of the events that were on the top of my list, specifically the "State of Black Gay America Summit". I had a true blonde moment and went to the wrong hotel. So here's a word of advice for next year, read all of the information thoroughly for each event because they're not all held at the host hotel.

But I did attend the official pride worship service at The Vision Church of Atlanta on Sunday and Piedmont Park later on that evening. Piedmont Park on Sundays has been the place where black gays and lesbians have gathered for years and this past weekend we not only gathered but we dominated the park! Imagine looking around you and all you can see for miles is a huge sea of people that look like you and share some of the same life experiences, it's truly overwhelming in the best way.

I was able to capture some video footage of the J-Sette competition and it's quite entertaining. I'm not a huge fan of J'Sett-ing (is that even a word?) and I've written about it before here , but I realized it brings people together and forms bonds between the men who perform in this subculture, much like stepping does for greek organizations.

I closed out Pride on Monday by participating in the march from the MLK Center to the state capitol. This was by far the most liberating event I attended. Walking in the scorching Atlanta sun shouting "I'm Black, I'm Out and I'm Proud''! was life affirming and reminiscent of the civil rights movement, a different struggle, but a struggle I identify with nonetheless.

If you didn't make it to ATL Pride this year make sure you go ahead and plan on being in the mix next year, you won't be dissapointed because it just keeps getting better and better. Check out highlights from Piedmont Park and the march in the youtube video below.

Labels: Pride

Do you guys remember the black gay tv show that many of us tuned in to watch on LOGO on a weekly basis called Noah's Arc? You remember the show that was cancelled abruptly after two seasons despite it being one of the most popular shows on the network...yeah that one. LOGO quietly announced in January that the show would not be returning by soothing the anger of black gay men everywhere by promising to transition the series into a major motion picture due in 2008.

I wrote about my disappointment with LOGO and the promise of a film that would most likely never see the light of day shortly after the announcement and today my feelings have not changed, especially after reading a blog written by Jensen Atwood . According to Jensen the crew is scheduled to go into production this month but he still has not been approached to reprise his role as Wade, instead actor Shemar Moore is rumored to be playing the role that put Jensen on the map. Read it for yourself here .

Other actors have been said to be in contract disputes therefore stalling production. I hate to be the pessimist,(in this case actually I don't ) but until I see a script and some behind the scenes video footage I'm not believing for one second that the production of this film is a reality. Hopefully those die hard Noah's Arc fans aren't holding their breath for this Patrick Ian- Polk baby to be born because they will surely be disappointed. Now maybe I'm wrong, but my gut tells me otherwise. I guess it'll just take LOGO to carry out their promise and make me a liar...we'll see.

Labels: Entertainment

Have you guys seen the new black gay magazine Pulse? I'm somewhat embarassed that I'd not heard about the magazine until a copy landed in my hands during my stroll through the park last weekend. Well let me tell you it's a page turner and the photos and layout is absolutely stunning. Pulse is under the direction of editor-in-chief Byron Barnes and published by Gay Men of African Descent, a non profit organization geared towards empowering black gay men and preventing HIV/AIDS in the black community.

The current issue has contributions from such well known writers as Staceyann Chinn, Keith Boykin, Michael Gipson, and Kevin E. Taylor just to name a few. In 96 pages the magazine covers topics ranging from politics to health, arts and culture, fashion, food, and travel. Some magazines are heavy on the eye candy and soft on the literary content, thankfully Pulse is heavy on both. I particularly enjoyed the article written by fellow Clik Magazine writer Michael Gipson on life on lockdown, get into it.

But I couldn't resist sharing the beautiful photos from inside showcasing some of the most beautiful models I think I've ever seen...oh and the clothes aren't bad either. Pulse is absolutely free and you can get your free copy by e-mailing pulse@pulsemag.org . You can also view the entire issue online here .