Living Out Loud with Darian

Ciara Covers HX:





Ciara on becoming a gay icon: I would love it if people said I was an icon period. A fan is a fan to me. It’s a blessing no matter your race or gender, whether you’re gay, lesbian or whatever. I live for inspiring people and seeing them rock to my music.


On what it would take to become a Ciara drag queen: Well, you got to work it, honey. You got to know how to hit the floor, tip it off, get buck and whoop your head nice and hard. Glam it up, but don’t over-glam it. And just go hard.


Anti-Gay "Journalist" Dragged Kicking And Screaming From Air Force One


RuPaul's Drag Race winner Bebe Zahara Benet gets here life at Splash NYC


MondoHomo 2009: Can Gay Hip-Hop Be Taken Seriously?





Planet Ill writer Shelby Powell offers a straight perspective on the gay hip-hop movement:


"The desire to crossover in many of these artists seems to be waning though. The long-fought battle has been relatively fruitless, relegating the musicians to gay underground status and producing the occasional lyrical pot shot at the lameness of radio friendly Hip-Hop. Most seem to have come to the realization that acceptance from throngs of straight Hip-Hop lovers is beyond their grasp; hence their targeting of fans within their own community. However, a quick trip through a fantasy land where rappers are judged solely on ability would put some of these folks at the top of the Hip Hop food chain. Feel how you want about their “lifestyle choice,” the bottom line is some of these emcees are just dope."


DioGuardi: Adam Lambert Was Always Out


Gay L.A. Teen Crowned Prom Queen


Anti-gay ministers seek D.C. marriage referendum


Alexander Robinson steps down from post at the National Black Justice Coalition





After five years as executive director, Alexander Robinson is departing the National Black Justice Coalition, the sole national civil rights organization for black LGBTs. His tenure ends in June.Stepping in as interim executive director is the highly respected Dr. Sylvia Rhue.


Chicago: 30% of Black MSM are HIV+


The New York Times Online Tribute to Octavia St. Laurent Mizrahi


Obama Jokes About Gay Protesters: "Promise? What Promise?"


Is new Pop group Richgirl the new Destiny's Child? That remains to be seen but they're debut single "He Ain't With Me Now (Tho) is hot!





Blogger Shawn QT Reacts to Spectacular of Pretty Ricky's Striptease Video





Don't act like you haven't already seen this video! LMAO! Don't you just love it when Power Twink Bottoms masquerading as straight boys post homoerotic videos on YouTube? If you've been living underneath a rock this week and haven't seen this viral video sensation then it's too late, it's been removed from YouTube. However, Shawn QT'S reaction video is still hilarious!

The latest PSA from Los Angeles based photographer Adam Bouska's NOH8 Campaign against Proposition 8. You may remember reading about this campaign on this site a few weeks ago. Black gay celebrities Maurice Jamal, Quincy LeNear, Deondray Gossett, Karamo Brown, Darryl Stephens, and Jensen Atwood were just a few recognizable faces featured from our community.


The latest PSA includes appearances by Perez Hilton, B. Scott, Shana Moakler, Tila Tequila, and Calpernia Adams to name a few. Get into the video above.


New updates will resume tomorrow AM. Meanwhile feel free to join the discussion in the open thread below this post.

Are black gay men more interested in the short-term gratification of casual sex, online hookups and circuit parties (like Miami Sizzle) than to concern themselves with seeking and building long-term relationships or fighting for marriage equality?


Don't hold back. Discuss.

Memphis, TN- On the same day the California Supreme Court issued it's controversial ruling upholding Proposition 8 another fight for equal protections in employment for gays and lesbians was underway in Memphis, Tennessee.


Shelby County Commissioner Steve Mulroy's proposed ordinance that would prohibit Shelby County employees from being discriminated against on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or expression was met with hostile opposition from former civil rights activist and minister Rev. William Owens.


"We don't want San Francisco, Shelby County," Owens said. "I don't see where these people are being discriminated against. If so, it's very isolated," he said.


Owens who marched for civil rights in the 60's offered up this shockingly bigoted quote in defense of his position; "We did not march for a select group of people to have civil rights and to have the civil rights struggle be hijacked," he said."I was born black, and I will die black. This [ordinance] is not a civil rights issue because those with that [gay] lifestyle chose that lifestyle.""I did not march one inch, one foot, one yard, for this type of legislation."


Owens along with Shelby County politicians opposed to the ordinance held a press conference Tuesday afternoon warning the public of the potential danger of passing the ordinance.


Shelby County Commissioner Wyatt Bunker told gay rights activist present during a heated public debate that if the ordinance passed, cross-dressers could teach school.


When all else fails use the children to incite fear about the gays. It's painfully obvious that many straight black folks just don't get it. And I'm personally sick of giving straight blacks a pass for their homophobia. The only thing Rev. Owens is missing is a white robe and hood. If this were 50 years ago the same pro-discrimination language would be used, the only difference is Rev.Owens would be on the receiving end.


How quickly we forget the sting of oppression when it is no longer acceptable to discriminate based on race. The California Supreme Court proved yesterday that the rights of the minority can be stripped away at anytime.


Watch video coverage of this story here and here.


Thanks Michael!

This post was originally published in May 2008 shortly after the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. I thought it would be appropriate to revisit this post in light of recent events and the continued ambivalence among some black gay men in regards to marriage equality.


Lately there has been a lively debate on this blog concerning the importance of marriage equality for black gays and lesbians and whether or not we're actually interested in legalizing our relationships. I have to point to a recent post by Jasmyne Cannick where she does an incredibly good job of explaining why she didn't write about the major Supreme Court ruling last week that granted marriage rights to same sex-couples and why she has refused to participate in the fight for marriage equality.


There is this belief that as a gay person of color if you're interested in benefiting from marriage equality or participating in an effort that is clearly spearheaded by white gay organizations then you're somehow out of touch with the black gay community and the "real issues".


I simply reject the idea that as black gay men and women we cannot be concerned or pour our efforts into more than one cause at a time or that gay marriage is simply of interest to only white people. Maybe my position on this issue is a little bias because I'm in a committed relationship and I look forward to the day when my relationship is recognized legally and my family is extended all of the legal protections that are afforded in marriage, versus all of the legal red tape most gay families have to go through in order to protect themselves that in many cases in the end are not enough.





Does the broader gay community have a lot of work to do when it comes to including black gays on important issues? Of course. Is it fair to say that we've felt "pimped out" by the mainstream gay community when they only come to us when they need black faces to support a cause they deem important? Maybe so.


Yet these problems shouldn't dissuade us from openly embracing a civil right that we've been denied for far too long or even participating in the fight for marriage rights despite the collective guilt that is spreading in our community for doing so.


There are hundreds or even thousands of black gay couples who will jump at the chance to be married and just because they're faces aren't seen on the nightly news doesn't mean they don't exist. How many black gay men do you know that are out and willing to say so in front of a camera? If we're ever going to be a driving force in the gay rights movement or change the worlds perception of how gays and lesbians look then we must come out. But that's another topic for another day.





So I'm not buying the idea that gay marriage is not important to the black gay community and I question the motives of anyone who would purport such. Contrary to the growing belief, there are black gay couples who are in committed relationships and who look forward to taking those relationships to the next level. I know because Trey and I are fortunate enough to be one of those couples.

"My black gay male sexuality is every bit as integral to my life and happiness as is any straight person's heterosexuality. And it is disrespectful and a breach of my humanity for anyone to suggest otherwise. Hence the source of my resentment.


Black gay men are not the pariahs of the community keeping successful sisters from happy, loving relationships. We are apart of the black community and we want as much a chance at happiness in our lives and loves as our straight sisters do. So let's keep it real when we make broad claims in the name of the black community. It belongs to all of us."

-An excerpt from Why I Hate Abercrombie & Fitch: Essays on Race & Sexuality by openly gay author and professor Dwight McBride.

It's that time of year to show off what you've been working on in the gym all winter long. If you made it down to Miami for Sizzle over the holiday weekend then you've probably already taken your swimwear for a dive. Atlanta's weekly gay nightlife publication David Atlanta Magazine is showcasing some of the hottest swimwear modeled by some of the hottest men in Atlanta. They don't make em' like this outside of the south.


Get into a few scans from the latest issue of David as well as a behind the scenes video of the shoot.












Photos: Tim Wilkerson
Models: Rob, Michael, Icaro, Steve, Pip, Julio, Tim, Tucker and Tyler

Update:

The California Supreme Court has upheld Proposition 8 as well as the 18,000 marriages performed before Novemebr 4, 2008.


Download a PDF of the ruling via Washington Blade here.


L.A. Prop 8 Press Conference here








The entire nation is awaiting the California Supreme Court's ruling on the validity of Proposition 8. The written ruling will be posted on the court's website at 10 AM PST/1PM EST. Win or lose there will be protests/celebrations happening in over 96 cities across America as well as Canada. Go to decisionday.org for a list of events in your area.

On the eve of the California Supreme Court's ruling on the validity of Proposition 8,the amendment to the California constitution implemented last November effectively banning same-sex marriage, it's easy for the opposition to forget about the 18,000 couples whose lives have been put on hold for months or who may be forced to dissolve their marriages in 24 hours. They're real people with real families who want nothing more than full civil rights and equal protection under the law.


Cas & Ricky are one of those couples and are featured in 13 Loves Stories, a multimedia advocacy project created by London-based photographer Gideon Mendel,creative editor Derrick Shore, and select UCLA students, featuring the lives of 13 couples who have been profoundly impacted by Proposition 8.





"The fact that I'm Jamaican and I'm not a citizen and I can't get married to my partner whom I love and share a child with it hurts", says Ricky.


"When I think about people who don't believe we should have families or that we should be married I don't believe those people understand love", says Cas. "Love doesn't stop at the boundaries of heterosexuality. Love encompasses all of us.


It's hurtful and I get angry when I think these people in this country, in this day in age still wants to discount us. We're not some scary sexually deviant octopus-like monster coming to destroy your family. We're our own damn family living our own damn lives", notes Cas.


Black and latino gay and lesbian couples were noticeably absent in the media leading up to the initial vote for Proposition 8 (mis)leading many to believe that this was a white issue that didn't affect people of color. Cas offers the money quote:


"One of the reasons we participated in this wonderful project is because you hardly ever see our demographic represented whether in ads or articles about gay men. We wanted to let the black community see that when they vote for measures like Prop 8 they are voting for discrimination of their own brothers & sons & daughters."


Watch Cas & Ricky's story here.





Leona Michelle Strong & Grace Sonya Harper partnered for 21 years.


"Our love is no different than the average person", says Grace.


"We believe in love and support and treating people the way we would like to be treated-which is fairly", says Leona. "We're dysfunctional like the rest of the world. We have our problems, she gets on my nerves, I want to send her to the moon on the first flight and I'm sure she'd like to send me their on the second flight. But we love each other and when we have our spats we just take a minute and we come back and love each other".





"Prop 8 made us cry...made our hearts feel very sad", says Grace. "I wasn't angry... I was hurt and disappointed, because all I think that's needed is that people get an opportunity to talk to people like me and Sonya they wouldn't have voted(for Prop 8). They would have said they're just regular people."


Watch Leona and Grace's story here.





Byron and Raymond married August 30, 2008 after 6 years together.


"It's been a long six years, says Raymond. "We've had our girls now for going on 2 years and during those 2 years I was diagnosed with cancer.Byron has been by my side the whole time and I've fallen in love with him even more than I thought I could be in love with him. He never accepted that I was sick. My cancer is now in remission.





"To see both our names on a marriage license made me happy", says Raymond. I can get sick at anytime and if I'm sick and dying in the hospital and Byron can't get my benefits I can't be in peace. I would have to wonder about him and the girls and how they would take care of themselves, but now that we're married all of my benefits can go to him."


Watch Byron & Raymond's story here.

At day's end, though, the great tragedy here is neither historical amnesia nor moral cowardice. No, the tragedy is embodied in Barry's description of African Americans as a people for whom open homosexuality is rare. That description is, unfortunately, too accurate - not simply for black Washington, but for black America. We are a socially conservative people.


And our conservatism is, quite literally, killing us.


It is no coincidence the community that has yet to make a safe place for its gay members to openly be who they are, the community that still regards gay as a dirty secret not to be spoken in open company, the community in which people still think gay "can't happen in my family," is also the community that accounts for half of all AIDS diagnoses in this country, the community that has lost 211,000 brothers and sisters to this disease, the community where marriages keep popping like balloons from the discovery that the husband is gay on the "down low."


-Pulitzer Prize winning columnist and LGBT ally Leonard Pitts Jr. on Marion Barry's ineffective leadership on marriage equality in D.C. and the black communities denial about homosexuality.

Update: Nigel Lythgoe Issues An Aopolgy via GLAAD Blog


Of all the places you would think homophobia would rear it's ugly head. If you were watching the premiere episode of the FOX reality show So You Think You Can Dance last night or if you've been privy to the brewing online controversy over judge Nigel Lythgoe's homophobic remarks toward same -sex dance couple Misha Belfer and Mitchel Kibel, then you won't be surprised to know that GLAAD has acted swiftly and demanded an apology.


Upon watching the couple's samba routine Lythgoe had this to say: "I think you'd probably alienate a lot of our audience. We've always had the guys dance together on the show but they've never really done it in each other's arms before. I'm really one of those people that like to see guys be guys and girls be girls on stage. I don't think I liked it, to be frank."


Lythgoe tells them he'd like to see them dance with a woman, "You never know, you might enjoy that, too."


If this wasn't bad enough Lythgoe continues his homophobic and insensitive rant on Twitter further digging a hole for himself.





"The same sex ballroom guys did remind me of "Blades of Glory". However, I'm not a fan of 'Brokeback' Ballroom.


It's going to be very interesting to see how Lythgoe is going to fix this PR nightmare that he's created for himself. Not to mention the thousands of gay and lesbian dancers who watch this show or have been featured in seasons past. It's quite ironic that Lythgoe didn't take into account the fact the dance industry is built on the backs of LGBT people, specifically gay men. I know from over ten years experience as a professional dancer. If gay men were taken out of the equation he wouldn't a have show and that's a fact.


Get into the moment that started the controversy in the videos below.

On May 17th the world and the ballroom and gay communities lost an angel when the legendary Octavia St. Laurent Mizrahi passed away. Many of you may remember Octavia from her star turn in the 1990 documentary Paris Is Burning by Jennie Livingston. I'll never forget sneaking to watch Paris is Burning in my room after my parents retired for the evening and longing to leave the restrictive environment of the south for the east coast.


I had the pleasure of having dinner with Octavia and Luna in 1999 in Greenwich Village at the Riviera shortly after I arrived in New York City from Alabama. It was a surreal experience and one I will never forget. I love you Octavia. You will be missed. -Darian





Luna Legacy Remembers Octavia St. Laurent Mizrahi


I met Octavia St. Laurent in 1990. She was always the superstar Octavia wherever she went. I can’t remember a time when she was not the actress, the star, the icon. I would see her out in the summer nights near the pier and all of us were in awe of her grandness. We would all point with excitement as if we just saw Diana Ross. Although we met in 1990 and remained friendly over the years, we really didn’t start to hang out, talk, go to dinner, or have movie dates until 1999. She became a friend, a favorite aunt, a mother figure; we even recorded a song together...she was amazing!


The last time I saw her was at the House of Evisu Ball in late 2008, we were both so very happy to see each other. She held my hand so tight. She was nervous about how the new generations of ball children were going to react to her. I assured her that she is Octavia St. Laurent, “There is nothing like you here.” It’s true, we have lovely fem queens today but not many have the aura of a Hollywood star that Octavia gave to her fans. I was in awe of her beauty even while she was going through health issues. She was definitely a strong person. She sometimes would say that she was the chosen one and I believed her. I will miss my love Octavia very much but I know her beauty and her star will always shine and I will always have our memories together. She was our Heavenly Angel Octavia.


Luna Legacy is the founder and mother of the house of Legacy and a Community Health Specialist for Gay Men's Health Crisis in New York City. He's also an accomplished photographer and host of The Luna Show on My Ballroom Life.com.











Other Tributes:
R.I.P. Octavia St. Laurent Mizrahi- Can We Be Frank


PhDJ feat. Octavia Saint Laurent Mizrahi, "I am Somebody"

Rochelle Hamilton, 16, has just been awarded a 25, 000 settlement after the ACLU threatened a lawsuit against Jesse Bethel High School in Vallejo, California. Hamilton who is a lesbian claims she was harassed daily by faculty and staff, including a guidance counselor who was persistent in her efforts to force Hamilton to change her sexual orientation. CBS5.com:


The counselor told the group, "You're going to get this treatment your whole life. What are you going to do, stand up every time," according to the suit.


The complaint alleged a teacher approached Hamilton when she was hugging her girlfriend and said, "This is ungodly, and you're going to hell. This is a sin." Other school staff repeated harassing comments to Hamilton in front of her classmates, including saying, "It's not right to be this way," according to the suit.


"All I ever wanted was to be able to go to school and be myself," Hamilton said. "But I couldn't do that when the people I was supposed to be learning from were judging me and telling me something was wrong with me. How was I supposed to learn when I was constantly scared?"


To add insult to injury Hamilton also reports staff members made comments such as, "Remember, you're a girl, not a boy," and, "You can get HIV/AIDS from being gay and messing with females."


The Vallejo Unified School District insists that the settlement is not an admission of wrongdoing, "but maybe they should look into training around sexual orientation non-discrimination".


Uhmmm...you think? Get into the video news report here.


h/t Rod 2.0

Update: 3:53 PM





Confidential sources close to San Francisco City Hall told Towleroad's Corey Johnson that the California Supreme Court was prepared to release its opinion on Proposition 8 tomorrow, but decided to delay the ruling after a call from Mayor Gavin Newsom.


"Newsom reached out to the Supreme Court and asked them to hold off releasing their decision so it did not coincide with the White Night riots.


Yesterday we reported that the California Supreme Court's decision on the validity of Proposition 8 would be coming down over the the next few days and overnight the process seemed to go into overdrive.


Via Joe My God a picture of barricades were placed in San Francisco's Castro District reportedly by the SFPD in anticipation of the court's ruling. It has also been reported that the San Diego police departments have been alerted to the rulings.


Court confirmation on tomorrow's expected ruling should be available today by 10 AM PDT.


Protests are being planned around the country in the event the court decides to uphold the discriminatory Prop 8. Go to Day of Decision for a list of events near you.

Black is beautiful. If you're a fan of the Bravo reality series Make Me A Supermodel then you're probably already familiar with finalist and uber-hottie Sandhurst from the island of Tobago. A classically trained dancer, Sandhurst was picked out of a crowd during Trinidad and Tobago's inaugural Fashion week and asked to walk in a runway show, which kick-started his career in the world of modeling.


I have to admit I've not watched an entire episode but while channel surfing I was stopped dead in my tracks by the hotness radiating from my television screen. Sandhurst is a clear front runner in the competition and is expected to win according to die hard Supermodel fans.


The screen captures of Sandhurst were taken during a nude photo shoot challenge during episode 9. Get into the episode here and additional pics below.

Years ago gay rapper Caushun was poised to become the first openly gay hip-hop artist in an industry famous for it's homophobic lyrics and misogynistic attitudes towards women. The media circus surrounding "the gay rapper" baffled many in the gay community for several reasons;Caushun wouldn't be the first gay rapper and certainly wasn't the only gay identified MC to pick up a mic inside or outside of the community.


There's a thriving gay hip-hop scene, or "homo-hop" as it's commonly referred to on the east coast and one talented artist at the forefront of this movement is New York based rapper Bry'Nt.


Bry'Nt's modelesque looks may be a draw to both male and female admirers, but it's his ridiculous flow and unabashed approach to his (homo)sexuality in his lyrics that is gaining him quite a following even in mainstream rap circles.


"The initial reaction is obviously, “What are you doing?” and “Gay people can't rap.” But once they actually hear me rap, they switch up their story: “You're hot for a gay guy.”, says Bry'Nt in an interview with The Windy City Gay Times.


Openly gay since age 15, Bry'Nt describes his music as "rainbow- friendly" and has set out to change the image of gay men in hip-hop. "I feel like I have a responsibility to be openly gay in music because gay people don't have a figure to look to,"says Bry'Nt.


If you're heading down to Miami this weekend for Sizzle make sure to catch Bry'Nt during a live performance. Get into Bry'Nt and a few of the talented east coast rappers who are changing the game in hip-hop in the video below. Also a free download after the jump.








Download Bry'Nt's free Mixtape Porn Star

The May 5th ruling by the D.C. City Council to overwhelmingly recognize same-sex marriages in the district performed elsewhere and the unruly and embarrassing behavior caught on film by black clergy and those opposed to the legislation may have given the false impression that the majority of black politicians shared the same opinion. This couldn't be further from the truth.


Democrats in Ward 8 gathered Saturday at Washington Highlands Library and voted 21 to 11 in favor of a resolution that "affirms its historic support for the civil and human rights of all D.C. citizens by supporting civil marriage equality, according to The Washington Blade.


Marion Barry, a former crack addict, ex-con, and self-appointed "moral leader" who cast the single vote against marriage equality in D.C. and who also serves as Council representative for Ward 8 was conveniently unavailable for the pre-vote panel discussion. Ironically, Barry said he voted against the measure under pressure from his Ward 8 constituents, the very same people who overwhelmingly voted in favor of the measure this past weekend.


Longtime D.C. gay rights activist Phil Panell sat on the three member panel and provided insight on the duality of being black and gay.


"I've been called a nigger by white people and I've been called a faggot by my own and let me tell you, it's all discrimination and it feels the same," Pannell said. In response to remarks that Barry has traditionally been supportive of gay rights, Pannell countered with, "I'm gonna quote Janet Jackson and say, 'What have you done for me lately, Marion Barry?'"

New Yorkers took to the streets yesterday by the thousands to show their opposition and support for marriage equality, and the atmosphere at the two separate events couldn't have been more different.


The pro-marriage equality rally organized by Broadway Impact and held near Times Square brought out Gov. David Patterson, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, NY Assemblyman Danny O'Donnell, and state Sen. Tom Duane. The cast of he cast of Hair performed along with Audra McDonald, multiple Tony Award winner and star of the ABC drama Private Practice. Sex and The City star Cynthia Nixon also made an appearance.


Gay marriage supporters held up signs that read "Separate Is Never Equal" and "My Lesbian Sister Is A Better Parent Than Miss CA Could Ever Be", a direct jab at the separate and unequal institutions of domestic partnerships, civil unions, and the controversy over the new Anita Bryant, Miss USA's Carrie Prejean.








The anti-gay marriage event held uptown by the rabidly anti-gay NY Senator Ruben Diaz attracted thousands of participants bused in(mostly from out of town) who staged a protest in front of NY Gov. David Patterson's Manhattan office. Diaz is an extremely vocal opponent of marriage equality and is considered to be a huge roadblock in ensuring the marriage equality bill passes the Senate.








"The evangelicals stayed mostly very positive, I will say, delivering nothing by smiles and heavily-accented "Jesus loves you" type messages as they passed the 50-60 LGBT activists waving "Thank You, Governor" placards and banner, notes blogger Joe My God who was in attendance.


The throngs of protesters waved their weapon of choice-the bible- and screamed as if Jesus himself had returned to earth when Sen.Diaz appeared. You would think blacks and hispanics would understand the struggle for civil rights. Truly sad. Columnist Bill Withers said it best, "Oppression does not equal enlightenment about others. It just means you are at the bottom looking up." Get into videos from both rallies below.








Photos courtesy of Bernie Tarver & Joe My God

As I was perusing After Elton, one of my favorite gay websites, I got the inspiration for this post. It' simple- yet the images, history, and the memories tied to them are invaluable.


There's quite a few television shows and films with gay characters but only a handful of them consist of gay men of color, and I can't think of a single project currently airing that features a black, latino, or asian gay character in a leading role. It's a fact audiences are drawn to characters they can identify with on some level and this includes gay audiences.


Below are four screen captures taken from television shows The Wire, The DL Chronicles, Noah's Arc, and the new YouTube series Drama Queenz. Heterosexuals take for granted the widespread acceptance and recognition of their relationships on screen because their opposite sex affection is considered "normal", so when SGL relationships are shown not only is it rare but often considered to be groundbreaking.


Just like a classic song can conjure up sweet memories of days gone by, so can the moment when Wade kissed Noah or Omar kissed Dante for the first time.


Relive those moments by clicking on the title of the show below and hopefully you'll be lucky enough to have someone to create your own special moments with over the weekend. Until Monday...


The Wire





The DL Chronicles






Noah's Arc





Drama Queenz





It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss


It's that pivotal moment
It's unthinkable
This kiss, this kiss (Unsinkable)
This kiss, this kiss


-Faith Hill