Living Out Loud with Darian

Our dear President George W. Bush is expected to hold a Rose Garden press conference on June 5th to show his strong support for the Federal Marriage Amendment. I swear over the years i've tried to like this man but it's just not humanly possible for me.
While millions of Americans don't have healthcare, schools are lacking funding to educate our youth, gas prices are soaring, and there's a war going on in Iraq, he and his administration believes keeping me from ever getting married is more important!

While I don't think the amendment will get the necessary votes needed to move forward, it's a scary thought to know for the first time an american president is urging the country to write discrimination into our constitution. I guess gays and lesbians are the last group on earth it's ok to hate. I'll be praying for him.

I promise this will be my last Oprah post for at least a week(lol!!) This clip speaks for itself, watch it!

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!!!! Sorry, I know that was corny but that's exactly how I feel. E. Lynn is one of my favorite authors and I've never had the chance to meet him, but that will all change next week. E.Lynn will be signing copies of his new book "I Say A Little Prayer" all over L.A. next week and I will be there with my copy in hand to get his autograph. Book signing locations and times can be found on his website.

His story of selling his first book out of the trunk of his car, at beauty shops, and by word of mouth is so inspiring. Every single book he's written has landed on the New York Times bestseller list and he's accquired a large fan base along the way.

His latest work stays true to the E. Lynn formula for literary success, but he tackles the hot button issue of homophobia in the church for the first time. Go pick it up if you haven't already, it's a page turner! So the countdown begins today, only 6 more days to go!

Ice Cube has become the latest rapper to attack my girl Oprah for not inviting hip-hop artists on her hugely popular show.
Cube along with Ludacris and 50 Cent all feel Oprah caters to a white female audience and basically ignores rappers.
Ice Cube mentioned that Oprah has had people from every walk of life on her show, including chid molesters and rapists but fails repeatedly to book hip-hop acts on her show.

I kinda feel for Ice Cube, he's a decent guy who has somewhat shed his old gangsta image and could benefit from appearing on Oprah's show. 50 on the other hand needs to stay as far away from Harpo Studios as possible! I couldn't even imagine having to listen to his annoying ass voice for an hour! Your beats are hot though 50!! I'm still jammin to 21 Questions!

Well who knew the gay community had a friend in NY Mayor Michael Bloomberg? The mayor has issued his support for full marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples in New York and is going before the state Supreme Court to make sure an earlier ruling allowing couples to marry is upheld. I just wanna pack up my stuff and move back to the city, if only I had a boyfriend!
It's also worth noting that the mayor is a Republican and is against the Federal Marriage Amendment. So take that George W. Bush!

I usually never listen to the radio in my car since I purchased the iTrip for my Ipod, but in between getting my case off and changing the station to transmit my iTunes I heard a wonderful discussion on the radio with a local dj and Iyanla regarding the downfall of black relationships and marriages. A few points that rang loud and clear was that unlike during my parents era when black men were the breadwinners in the family, the table has now turned and now black women are independent, sometimes playing the role of mother and father, and in many cases making more money than her man. The sista that's got her own and a nice savings account for some reason is a threat to the position and masculinity of the black man. Now you know I could only identify with this scenario to a certain degree since I've never been in an opposite-sex relationship, so I'm gonna have to switch it up and put a gay face on it.

I think far too often we get hung up in who's playing the dominate or submissive role in a relationship, you're the top and i'm the bottom bs!!!! It's supposed to be an equal partnership, give and take right?(no pun intended!) I made that mistake when I let my ex play the role of the breadwinner when he really wasn't.I had my shit together and because I loved him(bla...bla...bla) I allowed him to perform in a role that caused destruction later on. I'm still waiting and praying for a healthy long term relationship.

If you haven't read any of her books you should definitely go pick one up. I think I'm gonna have to re-read One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, but since I'm turning into such a Mac head maybe I'll just download it from iTunes!

It's that time of year again ! At The Beach Black Pride Celebration will take place on July 1st in Malibu. Now I've never been to the beach party but I've heard stories! I almost regret not going to the gym at all this year. I'm sure the kids are gonna be half naked and showing off everything God gave 'em ! This year's beach party is expected to turn out (not literally!) about 20,000 people. Imagine it: A sea of beautiful black gorgeous men ! Damn I need to renew my gym membership! Do you think I can look like Tyson Beckford within a month? Lol! My body's not too shabby but it's not perfect. Oh well, take it or leave it. I can't wait!

Before I begin my spill let me preface it by saying this is not a post bashing those who choose to enter into interracial relationships, my beef is with those brothas who exclusively only date white men. Why brothas why? I've also dated outside of my race before and enjoyed it. I just have a problem with black men who only seem to find beauty in the blond, blue eyed Chelsea and Weho boys ! I have a close friend who won't even look twice at a black man if there's a selection of tanned white men in the room. Is it just a personal preference or is it something deeper? Let me know. P.S. Ignore the sunglasses my brotha is wearing in this pic, they're awful!!! Lol

I'm sure by now we've all either read about Bishop Alfred A. Owens' Palm Sunday homophobic rant or we've heard the actual recording online. I actually have a snippet of the sermon on my iPod (don't ask me why) and for the past few weeks it's made me think twice about my memebership in the black mega church I attend here in L.A. . I have never heard my Bishop attack his gay and lesbian members like Bishop Owens did, but I've had to sit through many services where other members were urged to pray out the demonic spirit of homosexuality, and don't even get me started with the Brokeback Mountain jokes I was subjected too.

I've been visiting Oasis Christian Center for the past month and it's been a breath of fresh air. Very different from the worship experience that I'm used to, but the congregation is filled with young adults excited about worship. I just believe church should be inclusive and the last place I want to be is somewhere that I'm not welcomed.

GLBT people serve in every capacity in my church, and when I say every capacity I mean in the pulpit as well. I refuse to believe that my sexual orientation makes me less than in any way, a less effective christian, believer, follower, or human being. And it's when we as a community continue to attend these churches who damn us to hell every Sunday is when our self esteem plummets and we are sidetracked on our spiritual walk. So should I go or should I stay? I think I already have the answer.

Watchout world because the original diva is on her way back! In the new issue of US Weekly magazine Janet tells how she lost 60 pounds in 4 months, weight she gained for her role in the independent film Tennessee that ultimately went to Mariah Carey. Meanwhile I've been finding unreleased tracks by Ms. Jackson all over the net. The latest is a track called "Love Me" produced by Just Blaze that I found on myspace music. It's banging!!! U can check it out on my page. I'm sure the world isn't even ready for her new material. I'm hoping she's able to finally put all the haters to rest. She may not have a voice like Whitney, but even Whitney doesn't even sound like herself anymore! Janet's an icon in a class all by herself.

Ummm....Ummm....Good! I just wanted to celebrate the beauty of black men. As you can see we come in all shades of brown. I have nothing deep to say here at all. I'm just taking a cue from my friend Rod over at rodonline. He always has the hottest pics posted on his site, so I thought I would share three of my favorite pics from my iPhoto library. You better believe there's more to come!

It's during events like this I realize how far we've come in America compared to other countries, but how we've still got a lot of work to do when it comes to tolerance and equality for GLBT people. Recently in Moscow organizers attempted to hold the first Gay Pride celebration and were met with viscious attacks of violence from militant Muslims and members of the Orthodox Church. I don't know what kind of God they serve, but my God would never act in such a hateful way. It makes me embarrased to say that I'm a christian. Until 1993 homosexual "acts" were punishable up to a 5 year prison term. That was only 13 years ago! That baffles me. When will we learn to accept people for who they are and embrace our differences?

How many times have we as black people used the "n" word when referring to our brotha our sister in conversation, or used it while we were singing along with our favorite rap artist? I know I'm guilty of it, but this website I came across today is making me think twice about using the "n" word. abolishthenword.com has started the effort to educate the world on the origin of the "n" word and has even drawn up a contract to hold us to our word. They're also selling flash cards and merchandise to promote the discontinued use of the hateful word. Let me forewarn you that the images on the site is very graphic, but are exactly what's needed to change our behavior regarding the "n" word. Check it out.

A friend of mine sent me this Dodge Commercial that was abruptly pulled from the air due to it's sexual innuendoes. It's hilarious and I thought I should post it here on my blog so you guys could laugh too. Only in America would a funny ad like this one make studio executives to nervous to air it. When are we gonna get some balls like the Europeans?

If you guys don't know who Jensen Atwood is by now then you've been living underneath a rock. He is the sexy brotha who plays Wade on the Logo hit Noah's Arc. The show follows the lives of a group of gay black men as they live and experience life in Los Angeles. I was fortunate enough to see the original concept when it was on the black gay film circuit a few years ago, the content was a lot racier then(think Queer as Folk) but it's still hot! Jensen has been named Sexiest Man Alive by Ballroom Rockstar magazine and I agree! The first season of the show will be released on dvd on June 26th and I cannot wait! I'm sure all the kids will be planning viewing parties, can I get an invite?!

Everyday I plan on posting a question of the day. Today I want to know how you feel about public displays of affection. It bothers me for two reasons. (1) People who are exhibiting their affection for their partner in public usually get so into it they forget they're in public and act as if they're alone in the privacy of their home. I just want to scream"go and get a freakin room!"
(2) 98% of the time they're heterosexual couples and the double standard pisses me off! If a gay couple were to be seen in public making out people would say we were flaunting our sexuality, that's bs! It amazes me how straight couples take for granted how lucky they are to be able to walk down the street holding hands with the person they love without being afraid of verbal or physical attacks. So that's how I feel about it, what about you?

So an online effort has begun to present Ms. Oprah Winfrey with the Nobel Peace Prize for her work as a humanitarian over the past 20 years. I can't think of anyone who deserves this award more than she does. You can go to oprah4peaceprize.org and sign the petition to have her nominated for the award, the committee has to gain 100,000 signatures by October in order to secure Oprah's nomination. If she wins this award she will be amongst such great pioneers as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Ghandi, and Toni Morrison. We already know she's a living legend but this award will secure her place in history forever. Go add your name to the list now!

Last night Fox premiered the second season of "So You Think You Can Dance" and as expected they showed the good,the bad, and the ugly. I still don't understand why people would go on national television to embarass themselves. Just because you took ballet lessons from Ms. Suzie's school of dance when you were 6 doesn't make you a dancer! Believe it or not I almost auditioned for the show when they came to L.A.. I don't know what I was thinking because I'm not into participating in reality tv at all. I showed up at 6 A.M. to a line that wrapped 3 blocks with hundreds of people who would be there for another 4 hours before the start of the actual audition. As a working professional already it was not worth it to me and I went home and went back to bed! The producers did not dissapoint middle america by playing into the stereotype that all male dancers are gay, they had queens voguing, making entrances in mink coats, and throwing "shade" all over the place! This season will surely be entertaining if nothing else. I predict another lyrical dancer to take the crown again, we'll see.

So if you all are wondering if I stole the title of my blog from this book the answer is yes! It clearly defines where I am right now in my life and I couldn't resist naming my blog after it. I recently read Living Out Loud by Rev. Tommie Watkins a few weeks ago and I was also priveliged to hear him speak here in L.A. . The book tells the story of him coming to terms with his sexuality and his experience being outed and thrown out of the naval academy and then being told to pay back over 90k in tuition. He sued the Navy and won. As if it were not enough to face discrimination from the Navy, Rev Watkins. was also fired from his job as a minister at a Miami church for refusing to marry a woman and lead others to believe he was heterosexual. It's a very good read and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys a human story of overcoming discrimination and injustice.

I always knew Oprah was an amazing human being, but she totally outdid herself with the Legend's Ball ! Only Oprah could assemble some of the most talented and influential women of our time in one place. There was Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Cicely Tyson, Aretha Franklin, Diahann Caroll, Coretta Scott King, and countless other legends sitting at the same table. I would be remiss not to mention the young'uns, Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson together !!! I couldn't take it when I saw them having a converstion walking across Oprah's bridge, and don't get me started talking about the possible duet between the two!! I digress, sorry. What a wonderful feeling to receive your flowers before you die. Pearl Cleage's poem "We speak your name" hit at the very core of who these women are and how much they've meant to us all. I don't know about you, but Oprah makes me want to be a better person. The only observation that I have that I think was overlooked ,was Oprah not being celebrated as a Legend because she definitely is.

There are 4 websites that I visit on a daily basis, myspace, keithboykin.com, rodonline.typepad.com, and jasmynecannick.typepad.com. The last three sites is where I go to get all of the latest black LGBT news. It was on those sites I first learned of Bishop Alfred A. Owens Jr of Greater Mount Calvary Holy Church in D.C. . On April 9th Bishop delivered a message urging the real men of the congregation to stand up and be counted, not the "faggot or the "sissy" but the real straight men. To hear the tone in his voice when he uses these words from the pulpit ignites a feeling in my stomach that is indescribable. I had no choice but to write him and his entire staff an e-mail in response to his homophobic and hurtful message, this is what I had to say:

Dear Bishop Owens, staff, and congregation of Greater Mount Calvary Holy Church,
Over the past few days Im certain youve received an influx of e-mails from the gay community in response to the anti-gay sermon you delivered a few Sundays ago.
I am a gay african american man who was raised in the church and still continues to worship with other believers to this day. It pains me to know that not only our government is attempting to divide our community but black clergy and their followers are jumping on the bandwagon as well. Do you know how powerful your position is and the words that come out of your mouth? You summoned for all of the real men in your congregation to walk down to the altar, excluding the faggots and the sissies.

Well Bishop Owens I have a question for you. Is being heterosexual the only qualification needed to be considered a real man? What about the man who treats others with the same dignity and respect he would like to receive, the man who works hard to provide for himself and his family, the man who would give his life for a friend ? Did you once stop to think about all of the gay brothers and sisters and their families who were sitting in your church and had to listen to you spew hateful venom from your mouth in the name of God? Have you once stopped to think what your church would be like if we werent there contributing to your ministries not to forget your collection plate?

There was some person who woke up that Sunday morning who needed a word of encouragement, who needed their spirits to be lifted, instead what they got was their pastor telling them they were less than, a mistake, and a disgrace in the eyes of God.
Your position is one that is highly respected in the black community, and forgive our people for accepting everything that comes out of a ministers mouth as truth. One day we will be able to think for ourselves and actually question the hateful things that sometimes come from the pulpit. When will we learn to accept and embrace our differences?

Black ministers can start the process and end the homophobia that is dividing our community and driving black brothers and sisters away from the church. Bishop your words are powerful, next time try lacing your words with a little bit of love.

Ok ! Am I the only person that's wondering if I was having a bad dream last night when Taylor Hicks was crowned the new American Idol? Young white girls and their moms in the south and midwest have stolen another important competition. Last time it was the presidency ,now American Idol. Let's compare the vocal prowess of Paris, Mandisa, or Chris with Taylor. Guess what? U can't ! They would sing him underneath a rug! I honestly stopped watching the show once Paris was booted off. Props to the Idol producers for giving us a star studded finale, Mary J. Blige and Prince in one night! Janet was the only icon missing. If she had been there maybe I would have forgotten about the tragedy that occured when the results were announced.

So blogging has become my answer to the more tedious work of creating a website. I just don't have the time or the patience to exert all of the energy that it requires to create and maintain a website. So I'm following in the footsteps of a man that I truly respect and admire, Mr. Keith Boykin. I first came across his book One More River to Cross as a teenager growing up in Alabama. I had never known a black man who was gay, out, and so comfortable in his own skin. I didn't know it at the time but this would be a life changing moment for me. It was after reading his book I began to fully accept myself as a same gender loving person, for once I was ok with being the real me. Years have gone by since my initial introduction to the man who would one day feature me on his website, but I have never forgotten the feeling I had when I saw someone who's life mirrored mine on TV and in print. Thanks Keith for being the brave individual you are.