Living Out Loud with Darian

Hey ! Allow me to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday. I know many of you will be making the trip to Atlanta this weekend to partcipate in the annual Black Gay Pride event . I will also be out and about and I thought I would list some of the events I'm particularly excited about that will probably not get as much buzz as the overpriced parties everyone will be attending. If you see me out make sure you say hello. Have fun and play safe boys! I will return on Monday with a full recap of Pride 07.

Darian's Black Gay Pride Picks:

Friday-
Donnie In Concert @ Apache Cafe
Friday August 31, 2007
Doors Open @ 9:00 PM
Apache Cafe
643rd Street NW
Midtown Atlanta 30308
$15 (advance) $20 (day of show)
Tickets available at www.ticketweb.com

Saturday-
State of Black Gay America Summit
11 AM-4PM
The Renaissance Hotel Downtown
Georgia Ballroom, 2nd Floor
590 W. Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia 30308

Workshop Series - Day 1

Saturday, September 01, 2007
12:00 PM – 4:30 PM
Sheraton Atlanta Hotel
165 Courtland Street
Atlanta, GA 30303
Map
Cost: $10.00 - Free with Unity, VIP All Access Pass, or Conference Pass

(Creating a Healthy Balance between Spirituality and Sexual Orientation, Black, Christian, Male and Gay! ,A Thin Line Between Love and Hate: Why You Need A Domestic Partnership Agreement)

Marlon Riggs Speaker Series - B Boy Blues: The Movie

Saturday, September 01, 2007
1:00 PM – 2:00 PM
Sheraton Atlanta Hotel
165 Courtland Street
Atlanta, GA 30303

Acclaimed filmmaker Maurice Jamal (Dirty Laundry, Ski Trip, Noah’s Arc) and author James Earl Hardy discuss how the two transformed Hardy’s breakthrough B Boy Blues novel from the printed page to Hollywood’s silver screen.
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See Us In The Life Film Festival

Saturday, September 01, 2007
3:00 PM – 7:30 PM
Sheraton Atlanta Hotel
165 Courtland Street
Atlanta, GA 30303

Featured Films:
Blueprint by Kirk Shannon-Butts.
Don’t Go by Amber Sharp
The AIDS Chronicles by Bailey Barash.
Silence After The Club by Willie Brown

Introducing Jonathan Plummer

Saturday, September 01, 2007
4:00 PM – 5:00 PM
Sheraton Atlanta Hotel
165 Courtland Street
Atlanta, GA 30303

Terry McMillan’s ex-husband Jonathan Plummer unveils his new novel, Balancing Act. This fictional tale is as steamy and racy as the life he once lived.

(I spoke with Jonathan earlier and he informed me he will also be signing copies of his new book Balancing Act at Outwrite Bookstore at 2 PM.

PHYRE!
Saturday, Septmeber 01, 2007 5 PM-10 PM
@ Sugar
257 Trinity Avenue
Atlanta, Ga 30303

Eve Concert
Fabulous Fox Theater 10 PM
660 Peachtree Street NE
Atlanta, Georgia 30308

Sunday-
Morning Worship: Vision Church of Atlanta@Candler Park 11 AM
1240 Euclid Ave Ne
Atlanta, GA 30307-1512

Unity In The Park

Sunday, September 02, 2007
11:00 AM – 7:00 PM
Piedmont Park
400 Park Drive N.E.
Atlanta, GA 30306

Unity in the Park hosted by MTV’s Tweetie and Smoov Featuring live entertainment from local and national recording artists Nikki Harris, Feloni, and Gordon Chambers. Food, drink, and games for everyone. Families are welcome and there will be activities for adults and children alike.

Monday-

Stand Up & Represent Black Pride March

Monday, September 03, 2007
9:30 AM – 12:00 PM
The King Center
449 Auburn Avenue, NE
Atlanta, GA 30312

In The Life Atlanta and Atlanta march organizers are calling for at least 200 Black, Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, SGL, Transgender, Two-Spirited, Queer and Questioning folks and their supporters to join us on our march from the historic Martin Luther King, Jr. Center to Georgia’s State Capitol.

* We stand up to save our lives.
* We stand up to be seen and heard.
* We stand up to honor our human rights.
* We stand up to celebrate our lives.

When is it?

The march begins at the historic Martin Luther King, Jr. Center, Monday, September 3rd, 2007 at 10:30a.m.

This post is going to be short and sweet, but I felt the need to put my two cents in on the two news stories that are occupying every damn channel on my tv. Senator Larry Craig insists that he is innocent of cruising the men's room for sex and with his wife by his side ( poor thing...she should start a club with the wives of James McGreevey and Ted Haggard) he vehemently denied he is gay. Do I believe him? Hell no! But NBJC director Alexander Robinson explains why Craig may actually be heterosexual with a desire for gay anonymous sex here . Thanks to Craig's bathroom escapades ABC news seems to think all gay men cruise for sex in public places. Read this .

I can't help but laugh at this down low-self hating- hypocrite. This is internalized homophobia at it's worst. Craig has a history of oppressing LGBT people by voting against hate crime bills and marriage equality. What's done in the dark will come into the light. I'm sure the Republican party is thanking him for exposing even more of the dirt they do when no one is looking. And they're supposed to be moral leaders? That's laughable!

Now on to Michael Vick. This is the news story that I wish would just go away! I'm so sick of hearing about Michael Vick! And just when I thought I'd heard it all he gives a press conference to apologize and say he's found Jesus. Lord have mercy! It's so funny how people always find Jesus when they're ass is in trouble. I want him to disappear and feel sorry for himself while he wallows in the millions of dollars he'll have left over after the legal fees. Do you still feel sorry for him?

New Orleans: A Labor of Love is a grass-roots, multi-media, public awareness campaign to mobilize 5,000 volunteers to participate in reconstructing the city during 2008. Awareness about the city’s ongoing need for volunteers is being created through screenings and videocasts of the New Orleans: A Labor of Love documentary, which follows 18 Los Angeles Valley College students during their recent volunteering experience.

Katina Parker (pictured above) is the director of NOLA. Many of you may know Katina from her work as the People of Color Media Manager for GLAAD, but she has also worked extensively as a writer, producer, and photographer. Earlier this year, Katina’s short Radimi: Who Stole the Dream debuted on BETJ. The film features Mehcad Brooks, formerly of Desperate Housewives. She holds an MFA from the University of Southern California and a BA from Wake Forest University.

This fall, New Orleans: A Labor of Love will screen at colleges, universities, community centers and churches, where volunteers will be recruited on site. It will also be edited for web distribution at www.nolaboroflove.com. On the website potential volunteers will be able to connect with information about lodging, banking, transportation, and other necessary travel details provided by veteran volunteers and relief effort organizers.

People are needed to gut and build homes and help fill out paperwork for elderly/disabled people; lawyers are needed to assist the many people who have been defrauded by shady contractors; engineers are needed to advise on rebuilding; medical professionals are needed to assist with general and emergency care; educators are needed to re-staff the schools. Whatever skill set you have, you can bet that it is needed in New Orleans.

For more information on how you can volunteer to participate in re-building New Orleans click here . Check out the trailer for this amazing project here .

Last week I posted one of the most disturbing and hateful messages that I think I've ever heard directed towards the LGBT community by an unknown minister. The minister in the video I would later come to know as G. Craige Lewis. While he doesn't have the celebrity of mega-pastors like TD. Jakes, Bishop Eddie Long, or Bishop Charles E. Blake, nonetheless he has a huge following that turns out in record numbers to hear him speak God's word according to "Craige" all across the country.

A youth minister for over twelve years, Craige has become known for his EX Ministries and his series on The Truth Behind Hip-Hop. I spent a few hours on his website and his blog in an attempt to understand his ministry and I noticed that no one was exempt from his condemnation. It's apparent that if you're looking for salvation G. Craige Lewis believes he has the answer or is the answer. But of course he would never come out and say this, he'll just feed you scripture after scripture in support of his extreme religious views.

His message in a nutshell: We're all going to hell. Hip Hop is of the devil, homosexuals are evil and deplorable, mega-churches and pastors are not of God, christian artists who associate with secular artists are a disgrace to the church,(uh oh Yolanda Adams and Kirk Franklin) and we all need to repent and live holy lives like him. Did I forget to mention that you can learn how to live a holy life according to G. Craige Lewis by purchasing his 6 dvd box set for $75.00 ?

When I listen to this man's message and see the reaction from his cult like followers, I can't help but think about Rev. Fred Phelps of Kansas and his cruel and heartless behavior at the funerals of deceased soldiers and Matthew Shepard. This hate speech disguised as religion is the exact opposite of what God stood for. I find it deplorable that this man can stand in pulpits all over the country and spread his own personal prejudice and throw a few bible verses in his sermon and call it the word of God and people accept it! When did having a belief in God mean that you have to throw common sense out of the window?

How many times have you heard church folk say, "God said it so I believe it and that settles it"? This idea is beyond scary to me, because if you know like I know many of us don't read the bible for ourselves, we just accept what our pastors tell us as the true and living word of God, but even our pastors have their own agenda. Ministry in this country has become a multi-million dollar industry, anyone with a little knowledge of the bible, a booming voice, and stage presence can become the next T.D. Jakes. or G. Craige Lewis.

I would invite you to visit his blog and leave comments if you think differently, but his site is one-sided much like his views and comments have been disabled...what a surprise. It's time we start exposing these snakes for who they really are and let them know the key to heaven is not tied up in their dvd's, conventions, or scared straight tactics(pun intended).

So there. I asked the question that has been on the minds and lips of everybody since this scandal started last week. Let me begin by saying I don't know Bishop personally, honestly I'd never heard of the man until he decided to Ike Turner his more famous and talented wife Juanita Bynum in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. All I can say is I know a gay man when I see one and I just want to ask Bishop Weeks..."how u doin"?

Some websites and blogs are reporting the couple were having a dispute over Bishop Weeks' close relationships with a few men in his church. Now I don't know if this is true and you guys know this is not a gossip site, but my gaydar reached a new level when I saw this news story by a CBS affiliate station here . In this story the anchor describes what Bishop Weeks was wearing during his court appearance and also mentioned that his "nails were polished and he was wearing pink trimmed handcuffs". I do believe this was a low blow by the anchor delivering the story as he was obviously implying Bishop is gay.

I think it's ridiculous to assume a person's sexuality based on their outward appearance and I was ready to dismiss the idea that Bishop could be on the long list of DL preachers until I saw this video . Draw your own conclusion, but it's hard to imagine that the good Bishop wouldn't be longing to hang out with the kids this weekend at Black Gay Pride after seeing that video.

The brothas of the L.A. based In The Meantime Men's Group have chosen the 12 finalists to appear in their 2008 calendar "Sexiest Brothas in My Life in conjunction with their SGL youth project My Life.My Style. ITMT is an amazing organization in L.A. that promotes dialogue between SGL brothas on health and wellness, sexuality, and spirituality. MY LIFE MY STYLE empowers and encourages gay youth to live their life-their style and be safe while doing it. I love that this calendar is a mix of model types and everyday people. I think it's safe to say that it's a fair representation of us all. Check out the work of In The Meantime here .

Poet and LGBT activist Staceyann Chinn along with Rashaad Robinson of GLAAD and over a dozen activists showed up at the annual Reggae CariFest in New York City over the weekemd to protest the anti-gay lyrics of Buju Banton and Bounty Killer among others. Several news networks covered the protest as can be seen in the youtube clip above.

Gay rights activists have taken on anti-gay reggae artists and their lyrics before and have been successful at cancelling numerous appearances causing the artists serious amounts of cash. If these hateful artists don't understand english they definitely understand the loss of money, hit em where it hurts.

Here is an excerpt of the lyrics from Buju Banton's Boom Bye Bye:

Boom bye bye
Inna batty bwoy head
Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man
Dem haffi dead
Boom bye bye
Inna batty bwoy head
Rude bwoy no promote no nasty man
Dem haffi dead

(Two man) Hitch up on an rub up on
An lay down inna bed
Hug up on another
Anna feel up leg
Send fi di matic an
Di Uzi instead
Shoot dem no come if we shot dem--
Don't want Jackie
Give dem Paul instead
Dem don't want di sweetness
Between di leg
Gal bend down backway
An accept di peg
An if it really hot
You know she still naw gon fled
A some man
Still don't want di
Panty raid
Pure batty business dem love

Labels: Activism

I've been attending The Vision Church of Atlanta since I moved to Atlanta a year ago and I've only written about the church once on this site and not for any particular reason. But with all of the drama surrounding the Juanita Bynum situation and the homophobic sermon I wrote about here that enraged me to the point where I had to stop and pray, I felt it was necessary to offer an alternative to the dogma and fire and brimstone messages we're used to hearing.

The Vison Church of Atlanta under the leadership of Pastor O.C. Allen III is an LGBT affirming church that is inclusive and accpeting of all of God's people. But beyond that it is a place you can go where God's love is extended to you despite your circumstances, and where his word is taught in an effort to build a relationship and not as a tool of oppression and division.

There are a lot of gays and lesbians who refuse to enter a church like Vision, so many of us are so used to being spiritually abused Sunday after Sunday that we reject love from a church that empowers you to grow in Christ and does not cite your sexual orientation as a hinderance in doing so. Pastor Clay often says he ministers to a congregation of "wounded people" and he's exactly right. Most of the members that make up Vision and churches like it at one point were told they were abominable, a disgrace in the eyes of God, unworthy of love, rejected by family, friends, and often suffered from their own internalized homophobia as a result.

I made up in my mind years ago that despite what man or T.D. Jakes or Eddie Long had to say about me I would not allow their prejudice and interpetation of the bible convince me that I wasn't worthy of God's love. I thank God for my pastor and The Vision Church for teaching a radically inclusive word.

If you've been rejected by your church because you're different I want you to know that you haven't been rejected by God. You were made in his image and he knew who you were going to be before you knew yourself. Your life is not a mistake! I invite you to take a few minutes out of your day and listen to highlights from a radical word from Pastor Clay by clicking on the link below. It just might change your life.

A Radical Word :Pastor O.C. Allen III

Labels: Religion, Spirituality

Aretha Franklin has cancelled her September 1st show scheduled during Atlanta's Black Gay Pride weekend due to the hot summer temperature in Atlanta. Zandra Conway, an In The Life Atlanta board member, said the organization will refund money to ticket holders who purchased seats through ITLA. Ms. Franklin also cancelled a performance in Detroit earlier this summer citing the same reason.

Word of Franklin’s decision reached the city of Atlanta’s Office of Cultural Affairs, an organizer of the Montreux Jazz Festival, Wednesday afternoon, according to director Camille Love. Early reports that Franklin’s show had merely been postponed are inaccurate, according to Love, who said that her office offered Franklin the use of the Atlanta Civic Center as a substitute for Chastain. “We understood her concerns about her health and the temperatures. With respect to that, even though there was an air-conditioned stage at Chastain, we chose to offer her a different venue that was inside, air-conditioned, and comfortable in a great venue,” Love explained.

So unfortunately all of the Aretha fans will be dissapointed next weekend. But forgive me for asking this question, but who cares??? We know the kids were not running out to purchase tickets to hear Aretha sing R-E-S-P-E-C-T when they'd rather hear Beyonce sing "Get Me Bodied" while she pops her coochie into a wardrobe malfunction! I can think of over a dozen artists that would have shown up and gave the kids life! I think Mya and Kelly Rowland are both looking for gigs right now.

Labels: Entertainment

I didn't plan on updating the site until the beginning of next week, but I came across the video above on fellow blogger Justice MH's page and I had to post it here. It seems ever since I posted the story on Juanita Bynum I've been forced to deal with my issues regarding christianity, my walk with Christ, and the politics of the black church. This is a very emotional and complex issue for me and to be honest I'd rather not deal with it right now, but I can't seem to shake my frustration at the direction the church is moving and the mass quantity of people they're excluding.

It didn't help that I ran into Donnie McClurkin yesterday in the airport, and we all know how I feel about him and his message. But when I saw this video I went from being shocked to being completely outraged! I have no idea who the pastor is in this video but this bullshit is in a class all by itself.

I honestly don't even know where to start with this one. I'm afraid I'll damage the keys on my laptop from typing hard because I'm so angry! When are we going to stand up as LGBT people and call these bigots on their homophobia or just get up and walk out of their churches ? Surely we'll be missed from their choirs, usher boards, ministerial staff, and our money will no doubt be missing from their collection plates.

Will somebody please do me a favor and forward me the name and e-mail address or website of the minister in this video. I can't help but think about the hundreds of gay and lesbian people, not to mention their families, who were negatively impacted by this wreckless hate speech. It's time to make some noise. I've had enough!

from FOX 5

ATLANTA (FOX 5) -- Atlanta police said Wednesday that well-known television minister, Juanita Bynum, became the victim of domestic abuse after her husband savagely beat her in a hotel parking lot Tuesday night.

A relative of Reverend Bynum told FOX 5 News that the Reverend Bynum and her husband, Bishop Thomas Weeks, are in the middle of a separation. The relative said the two agreed to meet Tuesday night in the dining room of the Renaissance Hotel near Hartsfield-Jackson airport.

The meeting reportedly did not go well and ended with Bishop Weeks leaving abruptly. The relative said Reverend Bynum followed him to the parking lot where the two exchanged words.

According to an Atlanta Police Department report, that's when Weeks allegedly attacked her. In a statement to police, Reverend Bynum said her husband, Thomas Weeks, "choked her, pushed her down, kicked her and stomped her in the Renaissance parking lot."

Ronald Campbell of the APD said a bellhop at the hotel saw the attack, intervened and stopped it. Officer Campbell said Reverend Bynum suffered multiple bruises and swelling and required hospitalization.Reverend Bynum is being kept at an undisclosed location. Police are searching for Thomas Weeks.

This is truly a sad and embarrassing mess for the couple involved and the thousands of people who look to Bishop Weeks for leadership at the four churches he co-pastors with his wife. I swear I will never give up on God but I'm running out of patience with the hypocrisy in the black church. Is this the sanctity of marriage Bishop Weeks and Juanita Bynum along with their colleagues want to perserve? It seems that some ministers are teaching their congregation to do as I say and not as I do.

This type of behavior is dangerous for several different reasons. Not only does it affect the victim physically and emotionally, but it sends a clear message to non-believers that God's presence in your life has no dramatic altering effect, especially when you hear about a man of God abusing his wife.

I can only imagine the Jim Bakker/Jimmy Swaggart apology Bishop Weeks is going to render in an effort to save his reputation and the excessive amount of cash the couple brings in from their global ministry. I have no doubt that he will shake this scandal and will most likely remain the leader of Global Destiny. We have a bad habit in the black church of putting our ministers on a pedstal (in some cases above God), yet lucky for them when they fall, most of us are quick to forgive and forget no matter how abominable their actions may have been.

I think I'm gonna have to start a running list of the number of "christian leaders" who remain in the news for anything besides clothing the naked and feeding the hungry, this is really getting out of control.

In a funny twist of irony Bishop" Ike" preaches on how to have a "grown up" marriage in the video clip below and Juanita preaches on how to keep your husband by giving him romance. Is anyone interested in their advice on these topics now?

For the past few months I've been involved in one of the most amazing relationships I've ever experienced and it's taken all the strength I have not to write about it here on this site. I'm learning that there are some things that I must keep private, after all it only takes one google search to find out some of the most intimate details of my life. I've hinted at the fact that I'm no longer single in previous posts but I haven't discussed it until now, but an incident that occured over the weekend has forced me to break my silence.

Everyday that I live I learn something new about people and about myself. For years I allowed my family's issue with my sexuality to become my own. A ton of bricks were lifted off my chest the day I came out only to have those bricks stacked again from the deafening silence, cold stares, looks of dissaproval, and religious condemnation from the people who promised to love me unconditionally.

Their acceptance meant everything to me, I could deal with rejection from strangers but I needed my family to love all of me. I honestly didn't think that was too much to ask. Well after twelve years of being out I'm learning that it is and unlike before, now I don't give a damn!

I look at my immediate family and they all have the lives they wanted or at least the lives they thought were safe and attainable. I'm the rebel, the black sheep, the one who has never been afraid to take risks, oh...and the gay one.
My mom and dad have been married for over thirty years and my sister has been married for two and just gave birth to her first child two months ago...yes I'm a proud uncle. Do I not deserve the same? Am I not supposed to desire a long term relationship with a person who will be just as good to me as my father has been to my mother and my brother-in-law to my sister because I'm gay? Well judging by the look on my sister's face when she came across pictures of my boyfriend and I in my camera I'm sure her answer would be no.

To know my sister or even me is to know that we don't have to verbalize our feelings because it's usually written all over our face, and her face read DISGUST! The old Darian would have been offended and hurt, but it's a new day and I've learned it's her issue and not mine! I'm slowly making peace with the fact that I will probably never be able to introduce Trey( that's his name) to my family, or invite them to my wedding, or have them be apart of their grandchild's life(i'm foreshadowing...stay with me). It stills stings a litle bit, but life goes on. They've created their happinness and no one asked me for my approval when they were making their life decisions, so my happiness cannot depend on them. I'm in love and although I'm sure life would be a little less stressful if Trey were packaged as Tyra Banks, but I honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

It's almost hard to believe that next week will mark the 11th anniversary of Atlanta Black Gay Pride. In 2004 In The Life Atlanta, sponsors of the annual event , hosted the largest Black Pride celebration in the world when over 10,000 LGBT people flocked to Atlanta from all over the country on Labor Day weekend, a distinction they still hold to this day.

Like most Pride events there will be more than a few parties and clubs to attend during the six days of scheduled events from August 29-September 03. But what attracts me to Pride(besides the gorgeous men) is ITLA's effort to educate, empower, and unite our brothers and sisters through workshops, town hall meetings, film festivals, and worship services. There really is a little bit for everyone. I experienced Pride for the very first time last year and I was blown away by how many people I met whose experiences mirrored my own. Have you ever attended Pride and for once you didn't feel like a minority three times over, black, male, and gay? Although the feeling may only be temporary, it's still amazing and I highly recommend the experience!

Highlights of this year's pride events include a special concert by the queen of soul Aretha Franklin, a conversation with Jonathan Plummer, an LGBT film festival, and dozens of exciting workshops on issues relevant to the black LGBT community.You can get a complete list of scheduled events here .

One event that has been brought to my attention is a special cabaret night that is not to be missed sponsored by PHYRE!. They will be hosting a special screening of Christopher Street, a new black gay series from creator Dwight O'Neal from New York along with musicians, spoken word artists, and female impersonators. In my opinion this is a wonderful alternative to the clubs. This event is happening on September 2nd from 5pm-10pm. Click here for additional details.

This is only the beginning, look out for full coverage of Pride along with a few surprise interviews next week.

Labels: Pride

I couldn't think of a tiltle for this post so I'm giving you the creative task of naming it for me. I have thousands of pictures I've collected over the years stored in my iPhoto library on my computer, some of which I don't even remember where I got them from or who shot the photo. That's the magic of owning a MAC, you just click and drag baby!

So before all of you angry photographers send me an e-mail asking why I didn't give you credit for your work it's probably because I'm unaware of who shot the photo at this point. But let me just say that I love and respect your craft(otherwise your photo wouldn't be showcased here) and I'm all about giving credit where credit is due. So take a moment and get into these pics, they are some of my favorites and there's also one in there that's making it's LOLDARIAN premiere. Can you guess which one?

Labels: Sexuality

I came across this sermon over the weekend by Rev. Jimmy Swaggart on youtube and I'm honestly still in shock by what was said in the video. Gay bashings from the pulpit happen all the time so that alone was not surprising. However, Swaggart takes it a step too far by saying, "If a homosexual ever looked at him funny he would kill him and then tell God he died."

I swear lately I've begun to understand why so many LGBT people have turned their backs on the church. I couldn't even imagine having to sit through a sermon like this every Sunday. I just thank God I'm strong enough not to continue contributing to a church that's a hinderance to my spiritual growth and is damaging to my spirit.

You would think that the good Reverend would know that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. It wasn't too long ago he was begging for forgiveness for having sex with a prostitute.

It's sermon's like this one that emboldens bigots to committ hate crimes and gives other christians justification for their intolerance and hatred. He along with other ministers who subscribe to the same hateful theology should be ashamed. But I guess they have no reason to be because the bible told them so.

Labels: Religion

Last weekend one of my readers, a black gay male, left a comment on a post I'd written a while ago titled "Gay Marriage. Do We Care?" and in his comment he asked a lot of very important questions regarding the state of black gay men in America and how we're marginalized by the African-American community and society. One question he asked was one that I'd heard before but I'd never given it much thought beyond the time it was initially brought up in a previous conversation.

"Where is the "black gayborhood"? you know, where is the place in any city in America where a united black gay front exists where black gay men live together, rally together as a community and set up a portion of town where they are safe and proud and ...free? On the surface some people might think that this question is at the bottom of the list of a host of other issues that plague the black gay community or just the black community in general. But the more I thought about it the more I couldn't understand why we didn't have a place to call our own in any of the heavy populated gay cities in America. I've been to the Castro in San Francisco, Christopher Street in New York, West Hollywood in L.A. , Boystown in Chicago, and Midwtown in Atlanta(I'm actually writing this post in Outwrite Bookstore in Midtown) and the one thing that all of these gayborhoods have in common is the huge presence of white gays and lesbians.

For many LGBT people these gayborhoods are safe havens where they can go and be themselves or hold their partner's hand publicly without having to deal with homophobic bigots. Many black gays and lesbians choose to "blend" in with the crowd but are often faced with racism from the larger gay community(i.e. San Francisco) or find themselves becoming unwanted sexual objects for white gay men who...pardon the expression, love big black dick. In a world where black gay men are often overlooked, misunderstood, and rejected, a place to call our own outside of the bar/club scene where we would have no hangups about being black, gay, and out would be a breath of fresh air.

So why don't we have our own Castro or Christopher Street? I can't believe it's because we don't have the money or the resources, it's a known fact that gay men have a huge amount of disposable income. Could it be that having our own visible community would require many of us to be out? Being closeted was never an option for me, so I can't even begin to say I can relate to those individuals who feel the need to stay in the closet. I know everyone has their reasons and most people will come out when they are ready. But I can't help but wonder if the attacks on our character as black gay men and the lack of a real gay community that is built for us and by us is a result of us being afraid to live openly.

I have to give it to the white gay community, when they were rejected by family they formed their own and created a world right outside of their front door that had no hang-ups about people who are different. So where does that leave us when we're rejected by the black community and rejected by the white gay community? There's nothing wrong with the Catch One's and Atlanta Live's of the world, but we deserve more. Then why don't we have it?

It's been seven years since Janet Jackson exercised her acting muscles in the Eddie Murphy blockbuster The Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps, while she has always expressed interest in pursuing an acting career it has always taken a back seat to her music. After being chosen for the lead role in a film based on the legendary singer Lena Horne and subsequently released from her responsibilities following the infamous wardrobe malfunction, many of her fans wondered if we would ever see Janet on the big screen again. But Halloween won't be the only thing we'll have to look forward to in October, because on the 12th Janet along with Jill Scott, Malik Yoba, Sharon Leal, and Tyler Perry will star in "Why Did I Get Married".

A film based on Perry's stage play by the same name that takes a look at a group of married couples who gather every year to re-evaluate their relationships. Tyler Perry had this to say about the two leading ladies Janet and Jill on his website, "Can I tell you that I love Jill Scott? That is the kind of woman that can smile and end a war. Really she is unbelievable. And Janet Jackson has to be the most professional superstar that I have ever worked with. She was the first one there and the last one to leave--always on time and no drama. These women put it down!"

Janet plays an author and college professor named Patricia and according to Tyler she definitely has the acting chops for the role. I'm extremely excited about having the opportunity to see Janet in this movie. Say what you want about Tyler Perry's film's, they're not masterpiece theater but at the very least they're entertaining. I'm sure with major stars like Janet Jackson and Jill Scott on board this film will dominate the box office opening weekend. I personally can't wait! But I'm sure you guys know Janet could be starring in an infomercial and I'd watch it...lol! Check out the trailer here .

Labels: Entertainment

Some of you might remember the controversy over a 2 year old HIV positive infant named Caleb Glover who was thrown out of an RV park along with his family in Silver Hill, Alabama when his mother disclosed his HIV status to park manager Ken Zadnichek. Zadnichek stated he wasn't sure if Caleb could infect other park visitors if he "upchucked" on them and it was his job to ensure the safety of all patrons and not just Caleb. Once word of this incident spread, major news networks ran the story bringing national attention to the unfair treatment Caleb experienced and the social stigma that still exists in this country for people living with HIV/AIDS.

On September 3rd, The Campaign to End Aids and over 150 people living with HIV/AIDS and their supporters will caravan from all over the country to participate in a peaceful protest by having a family reunion at the RV park. Participants plan to barbecue and enjoy the pool and showers while wearing bathing suits that say HIV Positive in the same showers that Caleb was forbidden to use previously because of his status.

As a native of Alabama I'm extremely embarrassed by the ignorance that still exists in the state and around the country on this issue, and although I don't look forward to crossing the Georgia line into Alabama, I think this event is well worth the trip.

Sylvia Thorne and my friend Larry Bryant of Housing Works in D.C. are organizers of this event. For additional info contact David Thorpe at Thorpe@housingworks.org or 646-210-1805.

I have to share this experience that I had with dancer/choreographer Luam on this past Tuesday. For some reason my fire for dance has started to re-ignite(could it be that I'm so in love that I have to express myself?). As fate would have it I kinda pushed myself into an early retirement two years ago. It has been difficult to leave behind a part of my life that has defined who I am for so long, but I digress.

I got dressed for class and hopped on the seven train from Queens and headed down to Broadway Dance Center in Manhattan to take what I knew was going to be one of the hottest hip-hop classes I'd taken in a long time. I made my way to the front desk to pay for class($18.00 by the way!) and was told I'd just made the cut off, the studio was now filled to capacity. God I didn't realize how much I'd missed the funky smell of the studio and dozens of dancers lounging around with their best "I'm fierce, so don't talk to me face"! It had been a couple of months since I'd taken class so I had a lot to prove, mainly to myself and I did.

Dancing is just like riding a bike, no matter how long you're out of class you never forget how to retain and execute choreography.

I'd seen Luam's work on youtube and she was pure fire on video and magnified by 10 in person. She's danced and choreographed for Rhianna, Kanye West, Busta Rhymes, and Joe Budden just to name a few. It was my intention to videotape the combination and post it for you guys to see, but that was before I read all of the huge signs across the studio prohibiting cameras. However, I do have one of my favorite videos of Luam's choreography below for you guys to check out. And if you've never seen me dance you can check me out here. Get into it! Thanks for class Luam!

Labels: E

It's been a minute since I've done some much needed venting on my blog, but as I was reading a few LGBT articles that were sent to me by various people I began to notice a couple of words that they all shared that made me want to cringe, "lifestyle" and "lover". Allow me to tackle each word seperately because I have major issues with both and how they're often used negatively towards same gender loving people.

How many times have you heard the opposition say "I don't hate gay people I just don't approve of their lifestyle" ? Or this one,"I just don't understand why the gays want to subject everyone to their lifestyle, they made their choice but I shouldn't have to see it" ? Will somebody please tell me what the gay lifestyle is? The last time I checked my life was just as boring as the average heterosexual with the exception of who I sleep with...wait it's probably even more boring because I'm only sleeping with one person. I don't know if I've been extremely moody lately or just more aware of my surroundings because everywhere I go I see tons of PDA(public display of affection) from heterosexuals and it makes me want to walk up to them and tell them to get a room! The double standard that exists pisses me off! I'm subjected to simulated hetero sex all day long but if a gay couple decides to do the same then they're accused of "flaunting" their sexuality.

I've even heard other gay men use the word "lifestyle" to describe what they do. I believe their is so much shame wrapped up in that word when it's being placed on gay people that I refuse to use it to describe any aspect of my life or my behavior.

It's almost just as bad as that other word...lover, yeah that one. Again maybe it's just me, but this word makes me want to pull out the hair I don't have! I never heard my father or mother address each other as lovers or any other couple I grew up around. Lover sounds purely sexual. So is that all our relationships are about, the sexual aspect? Absolutely not. I just think when that word is used by straights or gays it demeans the relationship between the two people involved.

This post was not written to influence anyone to stop using these words if they choose too, but rather to verbalize my own thoughts about two words that always seem to provoke a neagtive reaction from me. The life I lead is one that is authentic, Christ centered, and free from shame, and doesn't deserve to have a label rooted in hostility attached to it. And yes my boyfriend loves me, but he's not my lover. Because if sex is all we have to keep us together then we might as well call it quits now, his love reaches beyond the physical. So I reject those two words and opt for something more meaningful that's a true representation of my life.

Labels: Sexuality

It's no secret that I'm a christian man who grew up going to church and still attends to this day, and I also happen to be gay. I'm realizing that christianity and the church doesn't necessarily always coincide as it should. As a matter of fact most christians are too busy "playing" church rather than being beacons of light in a chaotic world. Such is the case of Rev. Gary Simons of High Point Church in Arlington, Texas. Rev. Simons and his staff canceled the funeral of Cecil Howard Sinclair 24 hours before the service was to take place because they found out about his sexuality. Sinclair was a gay man whose brother was employed as a janitor at the church. Sinclair died last week at age 46 from an infection after surgery to prepare him for a heart transplant.

Rev. Simons said no one knew Sinclair, who was not a church member, was gay until the day before the Thursday service, when staff members putting together his video tribute saw pictures of men "engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing. These accusations Mr. Sinclair's sister openly stated are false. Simons said the church believes homosexuality is a sin, and it would have appeared to endorse that lifestyle if the service had been held there.

This has to be the biggest bs that I've ever heard! So let's get this straight(no pun intended), we can play your piano, direct your choir, contribute financially, and in the deceased case even mop your floors, but when it's time to be laid to rest you object? Again I have to ask, what would Jesus do? It's ungodly behavior like this by church folk that turns the exact people they're trying to bring into the church away. Rev. Simons should be ashamed of himself. I'm so sick of people using religion as an excuse for their cruel and bigoted actions.

This man deserved a proper burial, if he was good enough to work in the church he should have been good enough to be buried there as well. It's obvious that gay bashing isn't just limited to the living. The good people over at High Point Church have figured out a way to do it even in death.

Labels: Activism, Religion

Miss Jennifer Lopez is coming back with a brand new album titled "Brave" and the first single is called "Do It Well". This track is pure fire!!!!!!!! It has been on repeat constantly on my iPod since I discovered it online a few days ago. I have not been this excited about Jennifer's music since the J.LO album and that was back in early 2000. I forgave her a long time ago for that horrible album she wrote for Ben Affleck. What was the name of it...This Is Me or something?

I have not been able to find out who produced her new single, so if anyone knows please inform me. They deserve a lot of praise because we know Jenn is lacking on the vocals but she sounds great on this track. If the rest of her album is as good as this single I will be playing it throughout the rest of 07. If you haven't heard "Do It Well" then by all means click here . Enjoy!

Hey everyone! I know many of you were wondering what happend to me last week due to the infrequent updates...the airport is what happend. I love my job but I hate delays and terminals that don't have wireless access. I spent much of last week either stranded at Chicago Midway or New York's LaGuardia, and it looks like I'll get to do it all over again this week. But today I'm finally going to get a chance to hang out in D.C. . I've never really had the opportunity to see what the city has to offer for SGL men of color, although I've heard stories . So if you have any recommendations for spots that I need to check out please let me know. I've already been to The White House and George Bush wasn't to thrilled about my presence, it seems I'm everything Karl Rove has taught him to fear, black, gay, registered voter, educated, and smart enough to know Osama Bin Laden caused 9/11 and we should be going after him...lol !

Thanks for hanging in there with me guys. Stay tuned...

Labels: Travel

Hi everyone ! I'm in New York City and D.C. on business until the end of the week so postings are going to be on the light side...sorry. However, I did want to share with you a new video from my latest internet addiction, the lovely B. Scott. I introduced B's videos on my site for the first time last week. If you haven't seen his work then I urge you to check out his site.

In this video he takes on the topic of "reformed homosexuals". This is something that I've written about here many times and ironically we both agree that sexual orientation is innate and cannot be changed. I know there's an Exodus movement in this country that's determined to provide electro shock therapy, extensive prayer, counseling, brainwashing and whatever else they can in an attempt to change something that is fixed and given by God, but it's clearly a waste of time.

B. Scott's commentary is dead on and provides inspiration to those who are struggling with their sexuality as only he can. Enjoy!

Labels: Video Blog

Touch me Lord Jesus!!!! I have to be honest and say I didn't know who Marcus Patrick was until two days ago when I came across these pictures online. I'm sure 48 hours was all the time needed for millions of people to see some of the most beautiful photos to ever grace the pages of Playgirl magazine. I know these photos are not an exclusive at this point but I couldn't resist posting them here for those of you who may have missed them.

I'm not a fan of CSI so Mr. Patrick was not on my radar until he decided to share his assests with the world. And for the record I want to thank him and his momma! I better stop...lol! Make sure you catch the hilarious B. Scott's commentary on Marcus' photos in the above video and the additional photos in the slideshow.

I'm sure you all want to see the "money shots", but I have a strict no nudity policy on my site so you'll have to go elsewhere to see Marcus' package. But don't worry because I've already done the searching for you, just click here .

To say that I wasn't prepared to receive an e-mail that included one of the most offensive videos about black people that I've seen in a long time would be an understatement. It seems that self-proclaimed "video professional" Loren Feldman of 1938 Media, a company that provides video services to enhances businesses according to their website, has taken a stab at what he believes is a lack of black technology bloggers or lack of black people who are interested in technology period in a horribly racist video he's posted on his compnay's website. In this video Loren creates fictitious websites that he calls "technigga.com" and "ho-tracker.com" in an attempt to provide examples of what black tech sites would look like.

If this video was supposed to be a comedic sattire on black culture it's everything but funny. Obviously Loren didn't get the memo notifying him that it was politically incorrect and often a reason to get your ass whipped for using the word nigger, or nigga when you're a white man. This doesn't justify the use of the n word by anyone of another race, but it definitely carries extra weight when it's used by a man who's ancestors used it to oppress black people for centuries.

It's unreal how easy the word just rolls off his tongue as if he's unaware that it's highly offensive. The only thing that's missing from this video is this jerk in blackface. He manages to include a pipe, a bottle of Bacardi, dark sunglasses, and gold chains when he transitions from the "intellectual" white tech guy into the ignorant thug character in his video.

I'm not exactly sure why he posted this video, but something tells me he did it because he knew it would be offensive and it would drive his traffic up. I'm sure he's definitely succeeded in increasing his traffic because as I'm writing this his video has received over 70 comments . It took all of the strength I had inside not to let him have it on his website, but others were saying a lot of what I wanted to say and I knew I would have more room here to vent.

It's clear that this guy is a flat out racist and there's nothing he or his supporters can say that will make me believe otherwise. No one can say the things that he said in that video without harboring some of those feelings in their heart. And for the record there's tons of black tech bloggers and black people in general who are interested in technology beyond cell phones and car stereos. I worked for Apple Computer and I happen to know quite a few black people who live and breathe technology.

Loren you definitely deserve the racist asshole of the year award ! You are one of the few people that have actually pissed me off to the point that I'm using profanity in my post. Check out the video here and feel free to leave this jerk a comment condeming his video.

I did something over the past couple of weekends that I rarely ever do, I actually broke my boring homebody routine and went to the movies. Last Saturday I saw Hairspray and yesterday I went with my boyfriend to see I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

Chuck and Larry stars Adam Sandler as Chuck Levine and Kevin James(King of Queens) as Larry Valentine. The two are best friends who have worked together for years as firefighters in Brooklyn, New York. Chuck is a typical sex-crazed heterosexual bachelor and Larry is a widower with two kids, a girl and a boy who has a strong inclination for tap dancing and showtunes. After Larry saves Chuck's life during a fire, Chuck vows to repay him for his act of bravery. Larry finds the perfect opportunity to take him up on his offer when he's unable to add his children as beneficiaries on his life insurance because of legal red tape. The best friends then decide to enter into a domestic partnership making Chuck the legal beneficiary and guardian in the event of Larry's death, and that's when all hell breaks loose.

I've read a lot of reviews for this film and most critics have panned it giving it two out of five stars. I have to admit I was a little skeptical about the writing and how gay men were going to be portrayed, and in the vein of most Adam Sandler movies it had it's macho frat boy homophobe moments, but it also had some poignant moments that served as lessons to a homophobic society. Don't get me wrong, this movie is not a piece of important work that will further advance equality for LGBT people or start a major dialogue in this country around sexual orientation, but it does succeeed at reaching an audience that probably would have never gone to see Brokeback Mountain or Brother to Brother.


I've often asked people who believe that being gay is a choice what they would do if they had to walk a day in the shoes of an LGBT person, and usually I get a blank face from those who actually take the time to think about the question or more hate speech from the more volatile individuals. This is exactly what happens to Chuck and Larry when they pretend to be gay and they experience first hand the rejection, discrimination, un-equal treatment, and often times violence endured by same gender loving people . In a touching scene Adam Sandler tells a crowded room not to use the word faggot although he used it repeatedly in the past because he now understood that it was hurtful.

Jessica Biel also turns in a good performance as the couples attorney and provides a beautiful body for Chuck(Adam Sandler) to grope in an effort to without a doubt please his hyper -masculine fan base. Ving Rhames ( Holiday Heart ), a black actor who is no stranger to playing gay roles also appears in the movie as a firefighter with a secret of his own. His character is one that could have easily been taken from an In Living Color skit, stereotypical and dissapointing but not bad enough to ruin the film. There's also a cameo from Lance Bass of N'SYNC that's surprisingly quick.

Overall, I thought I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry was a good movie. I wasn't as offended as I thought I would be and although some jokes were predictable I was still moved to laughter(ok...so it might not take much). But nothing compares to knowing that this film in it's own unique way gives a lesson on tolerance, respect, and understanding for anybody that society deems abnormal, especially LGBT people. So grab a date and go and see it for yourself.

Labels: Entertainment