Living Out Loud with Darian

I guess when a few people or an entire community begins to drag your name through the mud or when you become the topic of conversation on countless phone calls, you can consider yourself a success or at the very least a public figure. It has been brought to my attention that people in my hometown of Montgomery, Alabama are not only reading my blogs and articles that I've written for various publications, but they are also acting as my judge and jury. Normally I would never take the time to address personal attacks because I'm a firm believer that I should only get worried when people stop talking about me and stop reading my work.

When I started writing this blog over a year ago I guess I naively thought no one in my family or the city where I grew up would ever read any of my writing. I honestly didn't think this blog would begin to play such an important role in my life and affect the lives of so many others across the country, but it has and I'm grateful. As far as I'm concerned I've always been out, so for people to act as if it's such a big deal that I'm gay is ridiculous and actually laughable. As a teenager if you approached me with the question and your intentions were good I didn't have a problem answering honestly then and I don't have a problem answering honestly now. It amazes me how people can be so quick to debase my character when they don't know me or haven't taken the time to clean out their own closet. What you see is what you get. I'm black, gay, and unashamed.

Does it surprise you that I'm not on the DL or I haven't entered into some false marriage and had multiple children? I know that is what is expected of so many gay men and because of their own low self- esteem and internalized homophobia some fall victim to these sham relationships. Well I refuse to accept this for my life and just because your pastor is doing it and your first lady is looking in the opposite direction doesn't mean it should apply to my life or yours. It takes a real man to walk in his truth despite how others may perceive him.

It's during moments like this I realize why it was so important for me to leave the south when I did. Montgomery, Alabama was too small to even hold my dreams. While you're sitting at home on the phone discussing my sexuality and why you think I'm going to burn in hell, I'm living life to the fullest and doing so on my own terms. You see there's an unbelievable peace you experience when you allow yourself to be exactly who God created you to be, whether that's straight, gay, bisexual, or transgender. I know you're not used to someone being so confident in himself when so many of my LGBT brothers and sisters have been taught to hate the very core of who they are, unfortunately for you that fire and brimstone shit never stuck with me.

I invite you to continue reading my blog and visiting my myspace page. Just because I know you're looking doesn't mean I'm going to censor what I write about. Now I'm more determined than ever to give you something to talk about.

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering why I haven’t updated the site in the past couple of days. Believe it or not I didn’t have easy access to wi-fi (or I guess I should say free wi-fi) in New York City, but I’m back in Atlanta for a few hours and I get to sleep in my own bed tonight before I head out again in the morning.

New York has changed so much since I left in 2001, it’s still dirty as ever, but for some reason it never bothered me when I was a resident. I guess it’s hard to re-adjust to it when you’re so used to seeing trees everywhere and smelling fresh air.

The highlight of my trip was finally getting to see Fantasia as Miss Celie in The Color Purple on Broadway and I have to say she was born to play this role. From the moment she entered the stage she was totally immersed in the character. I know a lot of people questioned the decision to cast Fantasia as the lead after seeing her Lifetime movie “Life is Not A Fairytale”(which I still have not seen), but believe me when I tell you there is a reason why she’s being called the ten million dollar woman, she IS Miss Celie onstage. If you live in the city or if you’re planning to visit make sure you grab a ticket to see The Color Purple, you won’t be disappointed.

I also had an opportunity to hang out with two black gay NY bloggers, one who will remain nameless and one who I’m sure you all know since he’s all over the place. Steven E. Martinez aka Queer Kid of Color spent the afternoon with me and I had a chance to see why this young man is so successful, from writing for Clik Magazine and The Advocate, to being profiled this month in HIV Plus Magazine and producing the new gay TV series Christopher Street, his work ethic and infectious personality is to be admired.

As always you know I had my camera with me, so you’ll get to experience my day with Steven in the West Village and images from around the city. I was that annoying tourist stopping the flow of traffic in Times Square because I was taking pictures. I was a local’s nightmare…lol! I do it all for the blog.

I want to give mad love to one of my loyal readers Kev; it was a pleasure running into you. It still baffles me when strangers approach me and they know who I am. It’s funny that everyone seems to read my blog but my mother. Or does she but she’s just not talking about it? That’s another post for another day.

Regular postings should resume on Monday.

You guessed right. I'm in New York City baby ! I haven't been to the city since 2005 and I'm going to pack everything I possibly can into three days. New York feels like a second home to me. I moved here in 1998 right after high school graduation to attend school and immediately fell in love with the culture, the people, and the abundance of opportunities to work in the entertainment industry. I've been all over the world but I still think New York City is the greatest place on earth. Most people either like New York City or they absolutely hate it, I think you know which category I fall into.

The first thing I'm going to do once I get settled is head down to the Broadway theater and pick up my ticket to see Fantasia in The Color Purple. I'm going to do my best not to be that annoying black person in the audience that's shouting "AMEN" at Fantasia while she's performing. I'm sure there's going to be tons of reuinions with old friends and first meetings with new friends. If you're in the city and you want to say hello then reach out. Check back for pics and video from my trip later in the week.

Labels: Travel

You may be wondering what the deal is with the title of this post. Well it was my intention to write a full review on the BET Awards because I was sure it was going to be an amazing show, but this year I was extremely dissapointed. I wish they would have warned me that I could have switched the channel to LOGO and watched reruns of Queer As Folk for the thousandth time after the two Jennifers left the stage. It's a damn shame the opening number was the climax of the entire show, even despite Jennifer Hudson screwing up the timing and the lyrics to a song I'm sure she could sing in her sleep. What happened this year?

I was so dissapointed that I missed baby Janet's performance...I mean Ciara. I guess I'll have to catch it on youtube. Gone are the days when artists like Michael, Janet, Prince, LL, and even M.C. Hammer gave you a reason to tune in to watch these dreadfully long award shows. I found myself looking for any sign of Janet just to experience a little bit of excitement.I hope she's in the studio creating a masterpiece that will finally drive Beyonce into early retirement and silence all of the haters.

I can't believe BET got it wrong this year. I guess it was too much to ask of them seeing how they got it right on Meet The Faith last Sunday. The straights are still reeling from Keith Boykin and Sheryl Lee Ralph's performance and the good Bishops lack thereof. As for the BET Awards I guess there's always next year.

Labels: Entertainment

Atlanta Pride not to be confused with Atlanta's Black Gay Pride took over the streets of midtown this weekend as thousands of people came out to celebrate their identity and the progress of the LGBT community. This was my first year attending Atlanta's Pride and I must say I was not disappointed. There were hundreds of vendors, great food, entertainment, and no shortage of passerbys that made you look twice.

I hate to sound vain, but we all know one of the highlights of every Pride event is getting to see the hard bodies that people have been working on leading up to the summer, well most of the boys in Atlanta must have traded in their gym membership for all you can eat buffets! But on the flip side I'm sure they had wonderful personalities...lol!

One of the major highlights for me was the commitment ceremony that was held for over 100 couples that wanted to publicly declare their love for each other. I've never been to a gay wedding before so it was a beautiful and touching experience for me. I was able to witness the commitment of Millie and Evette, a black lesbian couple who's energy and love for each other just seemed to bounce around the room. As always I had my camera with me and was able to capture their I do's on video to share with all of you.

But it wouldn't be a Pride event without a bunch of angry anti-gay protesters. They were present with their hateful placards and fire and brimstone sermons right at the entrance of the park. I swear I've grown because years ago I would have stood their and gone head to head with them, but this time I just laughed and shook my head at their ignorance. The whole protest was so over the top I couldn't resist videotaping it. Both videos are below for you to view.

I must say Atlantans know how to throw a great party. My first Atlanta Pride was great despite the scorching sun. I'll just consider this a warmup for the real thing over Labor Day.

Every now and then I experience a moment when I feel extremely proud to be apart of of the black gay community. Watching Keith Boykin and Sheryl Lee Ralph represent our community with such intelligence, passion, and dignity on BET's Meet The Faith is definitely one of those moments. This is one video that you will want to share with your friends and family. Thanks once again Jeff.



Update: Well things are heating up over on BET's message board. Check it out for yourself here .

If you're like me then you're probably wondering what's illicit about this picture. It seems that Superintendent Marion Bolden of Newark, New Jersey seems to think the image of Andre Jackson and his boyfriend David Escobales kissing warranted a huge black X over their picture in the school's yearbook. Bolden stated she was afraid the picture would upset parents. This statement coming from a woman who resides in a state that just granted civil unions to gay and lesbian couples.

It's so unfortunate that most Americans will accept images of violence before we will accept an image of Andre and David sharing a kiss. This is just a reminder that even in a liberal state like New Jersey there are still people who wish to ignore the fact that gay youth exist and their high school experiences mirror those of heterosexual teens. I wonder what the reaction would have been if Andre and David had been captured in a brawl?

I came across this picture as I was flipping through the latest edition of Atlanta's LGBT newspaper The Southern Voice and it somewhat affirmed some troubling feelings I'd been wrestling with all weekend long. As I walked through the park during pride weekend I saw many white gay couples and dozens of interracial couples. Now I'm as liberal as they come and I truly believe that love has no color, but I couldn't help feeling like the scorned black woman who was losing all of her potential mates to the other team. But on the other hand I wondered if I were missing out on love because I was determined to only have it with a black man.

If you've read any of my posts about my experiences dating then you know I've received the short end of the stick more times than not, and my last experience is just another addition to the list of relationships that have gone nowhere.

If you look at the picture closely you will see rows of smiling white faces and two black men that are almost impossible to pick out of the crowd. Are we not in commited relationships? I can answer that question for myself, I know that we are. So I guess the black couples who do exist are just not out, right?

Do white gay men know something we don't ? I refuse to believe that black gay men aren't capable of being in long term relationships or we don't care enough about an emotional connection to even consider being in a committed relationship.

What's sad is my experience almost supports the above notion. So what am I and brothas like me to do who desire a real connection with another brotha and the desire is not lining up with reality? Give up and date outside of the race? Hold on before you start to get all opinionated. I swear I'm almost to the point where I'm ready to throw in the towel and say goodbye to Raheim and hello to Hector and Billy. Not that I think it's going to be easier on the other side because building a real relationship with anyone regardless of race is hard work. But I'm not getting any younger and it's time out for games.

A friend told me that he thinks the lack of black gay long term relationships are a result of us not having a model to base our relationships on unlike our heterosexual counterparts. What do you think? All I know is that if I keep doing what I've always done I'm going to get the same result. So it may be time to try something different and women are not an option.

The wait is almost over. Out gay filmaker Maurice Jamal's critically acclaimed film Dirty Laundry will arrive in theaters nationwide this August. Dirty Laundry is an amazing story about family with a gay twist. The film stars Loretta Devine, Rockmond Dunbar, Jennifer Lewis, Terri J. Vaughn and comedian Sommore. Dirty Laundry won numerous awards at film festivals all over the country including an award for Loretta Devine's leading performance at The American Black Film Festival.

I was fortunate enough to see Dirty Laundry at the L.A. film festival last summer and although I was sick with the flu I was determined to see this groundbreaking film. I encourage everyone to run and see this movie along with their family when it's released. It's the kind of film that will open up dialogue and heal wounds between LGBT folk and their families.

Maurice recently sat down with a reporter in Tampa, Florida to discuss the upcoming release of his second film and why the story is so important. As usual he is very open and funny. Get into the interview and exclusive clips from the movie here .

Labels: Entertainment

Journalist and blogger extraordinaire Rod McCullom is featured on After Elton.comthis week. The founder of one of the hottest black gay blogs on the net Rod 2.0 discusses his success, controversy, Perez Hilton, and a very moving experience he had with one of his readers.

It's a wonderful interview of a man that I've grown to respect and admire. Read the full interview here .

I don't watch a lot of television and when I do I usually flip back and forth between CNN and Fox News. I guess I watch the latter because it's always good to know what the enemy is up to. I find it laughable that Fox claims to report fair and balanced news when it's so obvious that they cater to the extremist conservative right wing.

As I was watching The O'Reiley Factor last night I was outraged by two stories Bill reported, one on violence at the hands of African-Americans in Wisconsin and the surge in lesbian gangs across the country. The one thing that Bill never attempts to do is hide his bigotry and disdain for minorities in this country. If you didn't know any better and you were watching these two segments you would believe that African-Americans are violent animals and lesbians are all equally as violent but with an added layer, the desire to adopt masculine traits. And if that wasn't enough the link between homosexuality and pedophillia came up in discussion, because if you're gay then you automatically have a desire to molest children(WRONG!!), and we know Bill and his friends on the hill are all about perserving life, especially when you're in the womb, but when you're out they could care less about what happens to you.

We need a progressive talk show host to counter the insane Bill O'Reiley tirades. I think Phil Donahue said it best in a heated discussion with O'Reiley a while ago, "Bill just because you're loud doesn't mean you're right".

I was waiting for this show to happen after viewing an episode about the decline in black heterosexual couples who are going to the altar in recent years. Meet the Faith is a half hour show hosted by Ian Smith on BET and engages a panel of three guests and the viewing audience in a discussion about some of the most controversial topics affecting the black communtiy. This Sunday June 24th at 10 AM Central(11 ET/PT) and again at 9 PM Central(10 ET/PT) black homophobia will be discussed. The panel wil consist of Bishop E. Bernard Jordan founder of Zoe Ministries, actress Sheryl Lee Ralph, and activist Keith Boykin .

I caught the show for the first time a couple of weeks ago and I was impressed by the honest discussion that took place. I knew it wouldn't be long before black gays and lesbians and the rampant homophobia that exists in the black community became a topic of discussion. I cringed everytime the idea was implied that black women were still single because black men were either broke in jail or GAY. That's a myth many black women believe to be true that's not based in any facts, but I digress.

This weekend's show I'm sure will not lack any drama. You've got a bible carrying minister, an actress, and an activist. I have high hopes for this show and I'm expecting Keith and Sheryl to represent us well. They have an opportunity to paint a real picture of what life is like as a black gay person in America and the affects of homophobia on our lives. I'm sure the DL will enter the conversation at some point, it seems you can't talk about anything black and gay without the DL rearing it's ugly head. I guess I'll just have to sit through the bs once again.

This is a show that you don't want to miss, so go ahead and make yourself a reminder and set your Tivo, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

It seems that the city of Boston is years ahead of the rest of the country in terms LGBT equality and religious inclusion.Rev. Martin McLee, a black minister at Union United Methodist Church in the South End of Boston has decided to opens his doors to host an interfaith Pride service. This wouldn't be such a big deal if Rev. Martin wasn't apart of the Black Ministerial Alliance, a group that has been strong vocal opponents of LGBT equality. Rev. Martin D. McLee, said in an interview. "Gay folk have always been in the black church and the white church -- that's not new -- but we don't require folk to pretend that they're not who they are." Rev Martin and his congregation have also planned a gospel brunch for black gays and lesbians in town for Pride weekend.

Black churches, locally and nationally, are often conservative on issues of sexuality. In Boston, the Black Ministerial Alliance has repeatedly lent its name to efforts to overturn same-sex marriage, which has been legal in Massachusetts since 2004. McLee said he was not trying to send a message to other black clergy by agreeing to host the service. "I don't want this to be divisive, and I don't choose to be a part of side-taking," he said. "this is just one church living out its journey.

I believe Rev. McLee's decision to have an inclusive congregation exemplifies true christian behavior. It's good to know that as LGBT people who believe in God and desire to worship with other believers; when one door closes on you there's always another door that will open and welcome you in.

I think it's so true that a picture or a piece of movement can convey everything a person is feeling without a single word being uttered. Every day I have a list of blogs that I visit and today I was visiting one particular site and I came across a group of photos that not only made me smile but gave me hope for the future. I think I will be re-visiting the subjects from the pictures in my mind for the rest of the day. It's not everyday that you see images such as these and that alone makes these pictures extremely special.

Many thanks to Mr. & Mr. Brookins-Leonard for being such a beautiful example and to Jasmyne Cannick for introducing us to
this wonderful couple. See for yourself here .

Where's Darian? is a new addition to the site that will take you along with me as I travel to different cities around the U.S. as well as overseas. One of the perks of my new job is the travel benefits and I'm looking forward to blogging from all over the world, especially with all of the PRIDE festivities coming up this summer.

The first installment of Where's Darian? will take place in Miami, Florida in about 24 hours. To be honest I'm not a big fan of Florida. I've been to Miami a couple of times and I wasn't impressed. Granted it was during my high school days and I had adult supervision since I was there for dance and theater competitions.

So is South Beach really as hot as people make it out to be or am I setting myself up for disappointment? Well you better believe I'm going to do my best to find out for myself. Maybe I'll be able to find a beautiful 6'2, 200 pounds, chocolate brotha to show me around(hey...I can dream !).

Or if you're in Miami and you want to say hello then hit me up.

June 14, 2007 will always be remembered as the day when prejudice, bigotry, and homophobia were put aside in Massachusetts and the landmark decision granting full marriage rights to same sex couples were upheld. After three years of marriage equality the world has not come to an end, divorce rates have not increased, and religious expression and freedom of speech have not been altered.

Since Massachusetts began performing gay unions thousands of people from all over the country have flocked their to have their unions legally recognized by the state. It seemed that every wedding photo or news story that came out of Massachusetts had the face of a white gay or lesbian couple. Initially I held out hope that I would see an African-American gay couple who were committing their lives to one another but that hope was quickly diminished. Instead over time I was left wondering if Black gays and lesbians were even interested in marriage equality or if it should be a non-issue with other pressing matters such as racism, lack of education, lack of health care, unemployment, and HIV/AIDS on our plate.

I've always been an advocate for marriage equality and I've never entertained the notion that I wouldn't be able to marry the love of my life simply because I'm gay...that simply just isn't an option for me.

The following e-mail from a gay male psychologist who just happens to be white turned up in my inbox one day and stirred up a number of different emotions in me from anger to...well more anger. This is what he had to say:

Is the right for two same gender- loving males to get married a black gay issue? No, it is not a black gay issue. I’ve noticed that black gay males for the most part do not desire to enter into monogamous relationships with any intent on a long term commitment. I believe as most black gay men believe that “they” are inherently unable to sustain or comprehend monogamous long- term relationships; therefore, they should not try to operate in a conduct that is not local to them. Black gay men have so much more to concern themselves with other than the right to get married. They can hardly get along long enough to even consider taking the momentous responsibility of marriage. All of the emotional issues that black men deal with in regards to personal relationships, friendships and family need to be resolved before marriage should even be thought of.

As in most areas, black gay men will eventually follow in the footsteps of white gay males. Although it may be years down the road, I do believe black gay men will find that the right to get married will be important to them. However, by that time it most likely will be a mute issue and as usual the in fighting and community turmoil will be the only obstacle.

Black gay men should resolve not to have to try and follow a white gay agenda. White gay men do not have, for the most part, the emotional and spiritual baggage that black gay men have. It would stand to reason that black gay men would have a much more difficult time addressing and embracing same sex rights issues with all of the internalized debate and doubt about their place and role in the general society. It appears very important to black gay men how they are perceived in the overall black community. With the inability to establish and maintain a cohesive and self sustaining black gay community I can see how important it is to them how they are perceived.

It is very apparent that the black gay community focuses on the sexuality of gayness first and the emotional secondary. I’m sure there will be an evolution of this hierarchy and in time it will change. I believe that once being gay means more than sex in the black community more strides will be made in the political arena. Black gay men do not feel reflected in any facet of America and that is mostly because they have no desire to be reflected. White gay men do desire to be reflected in the fabric of the country in which we profess loyalty to. Gay rights are only important to those who have embraced that they are gay. Black gay men have long denounced and rejected being termed/labeled gay. There is an identity crisis in the black gay community that most be addressed prior to taking a stand on any issue.

In conclusion gay marriage is NOT an issue for black gay males, not right now. It can not be an issue for them because they don’t want it to be. If black gay men thought committed monogamous relationships were important then the right to get married would be important. White gay men have a sense of completion and wholeness that encourage us to seek equality under the law that encourages us to fight for and establish what we believe in. If you do not believe you deserve a right then you will not seek such equality.

Initially I wanted to respond to each misguided and uninformed statement this person(who only went by the initials PTW in his e-mail) made in reference to Black gay men, but I simply don't have all day nor do I have the patience to educate a gay white man on the realities of living and loving while you're Black and gay in America. It frightens me that he's a psychologist.

I would like to bring five points that he attempted to make in his e-mail for you to ponder.

1.Black gay men do not want monogamous relationships.

2. We are unable to sustain monogamous relationships.

3. We can hardly get along with each other.

4. We are unable to maintain a cohesive and self-sustaining gay community.

5. We focus on the sexuality of our gayness first and the emotional connection second.


All I can say is this is spoken by a person on the outside looking in who has no clue about how Black gay men live and what we contribute and expect from our relationships. When did having white gay privilege give anyone the right to speak for an entire group of people? I'm not going to go any further, but I do feel the need to re-visit this post .

Ramone Johnson continues his celebration of gay pride with "30 Days of Pride" over at about.com with thirty interviews in thirty days. His most recent interview is with MTV's Real World Alum and activist Karamo Brown.

Karamo talks about Brave Heart Fund, the charitable organization he co-founded with his partner of three years Edgardo Nieves, his childhood, his current life's mission and of course The Real World.

To my knowledge Karamo was the first Black SGL man to come out on any season of The Real World. I know you guys are thinking about Stephen from the Seattle cast but he doesn't count...lol !

I consider Karamo a friend and I've had the pleasure of being in his presence quite a few times and on the record he is truly a remarkable individual.

Click here to read Ramone's interview with Karamo as well with other gay and lesbian celebrities.

Well it looks like a good time was had by all at the 2007 Los Angeles Gay Pride Celebration in West Hollywood. Dozens of celebrities were on hand to participate in one of the largest Pride celebrations in the country. John Amaechi was the Grand Marshal for this year's parade and Doug Spearman(Noah's Arc) as well as celebrity attorney Gloria Allred were on hand to celebrate with the LGBT community.

Out of the four years I lived in L.A. I never attended a single pride event, with the exception of Long Beach Pride, which doesn't really count because it's outside of L.A. . So now that I have flight benefits I will be living it up with the kids at Black Gay Pride in Malibu next month. Watch out L.A. I'm coming home!

A special thanks to my good friend Jeff for the photos.

Also on my radar are the following Black Pride events:

Windy City Black Pride
July 1-4 2007
Chicago, IL
www.windycityblackpride.org

Seattle Black Pride
July 20-22 2007
Seattle, WA
www.seattleblackpride.org

Detroit's Hotter Than July
July 25-29 2007
Detroit, MI
www.hotterthanjuly.com

Toronto Black Pride
August 3-6 2007
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
www.torontoblackpride.com

St. Louis Black Pride
August 17-19 2007
St.Louis, MO
www.stlouisblackpride.org

Bay Area Black In The Life Celebration
August 16-19 007
www.bbitl.net

In The Life Atlanta
August 31-September 3 ,2007
Atlanta, GA
inthelifeatl.com

Dallas Southern Pride
September 27-30 2007
Dallas, TX
www.dallasblackpride.com

Baltimore Black Gay Pride
October 5-7 2007
Baltimore, MD
www.bmoreblackpride.org

There is a new television show on the horizon and I'm so excited about this project I had to share it with everyone.

Our Lives Exposed is a new reality show that follows the relationship of Tony and James , a gay couple in Illinois who have been in a committed relationship for over six years. I spoke with Tony via e-mail yesterday and this is what he had to say regarding the show's concept.

We are two gay men that are lovers, friends, business partners, consolers, TV buddies, tennis double partners, and most of all humans. We want to educate the world. We may not be considered the norm, but we should have the same rights as the rest of America. We do not want to be treated any differently than the average heterosexual couple, we just want to be recognized for being strong minded, tax paying, law abiding, African American citizens.

Like the small handful of Black gay television shows that proceeded Our Lives Exposed, this show will definitely be entertaining and groundbreaking at the same time. Check out a sneak peek of the trailer here .

Labels: Entertainment

Hi everyone ! I only have 4 more days left here in Indianapolis and I will be returning to business as usual (somewhat) in Atlanta next week. Thanks for hanging in there with me and my lack of postings while I've been focused on successfully completing the flight attendant program.

Yesterday I received a friend's request on myspace from a person who's profile is labeled The Black Gay Expo. As I was looking over the page I became deeply moved by a slideshow that included the images of some of the most influential and important SGL men and women of our time. There was no doubt that I needed to share these images here on this site for all of my readers to see.

I hope that you will take a moment and reflect on the achievements and contributions by people who have impacted not only the Black LGBT community but the entire world.



The real Roy Simmons

I love musical theater. I was singing and dancing from the time I could walk, unfortunately for my family and friends my voice wasn't as polished as my dancing, but that still didn't stop me from screaming songs from Dreamgirls, RENT, Big River, Chicago, and countless other musicals at the top of my lungs.

I even majored in musical theater in college and took the time to perfect my craft for a career in performance, so I understand the discipline and hard work it takes to be a successful artist.

The Tony Awards are a monumental event in the lives of broadway performers, they all dream about hearing their name called and rushing the stage to receive the theater equivalent of an Academy Award. For years the telecast has suffered from poor ratings and after watching last night's show I can understand why millions of Americans have ignored the Tonys.

Experiencing live theater is one of the most exhilarating experiences I've ever know, so why in the hell was last night's show so boring? I almost find it impossible to believe that the hundreds of creative gay men and women who were responsible for this show would torture their audience with the crap they presented last night. I must have taken at least three naps during the show and each time I woke up it was still on and it was still boring !

And don't even get me started on the lack of diversity in the nominations and performances by people of color. I was thrilled to see choreographer Bill T. Jones win his first Tony Award for best choreography for Spring Awakening . As usual four time Tony award winnerAudra McDonald represented the epitome of Black theater royalty with her beauty, talent and grace.

The one person who woke me up and saved the show for me was the one and only Fantasia. She sang "I'm Here" from The Color Purple in honor of the Alliance Theater in Atlanta, Georgia, recipient of the Tony regional theater award. I swear this girl is the TRUTH! She sings from some place deep inside that can't be taught in any vocal master class, she's amazing!

With all of the celebrities Broadway is pulling in to attract more people to the theater and in many cases to save shows that are in danger of closing, you would think they would use the talents of people like Usher, Ben Vereen, Taye Diggs, and Idina Menzel to liven things up. I guess I can only hope that they will get it right next year.

There's only a few things that people do that I absolutely have zero tolerance for... let's just call them my pet peeves.

1) People who are late.

I'm always at least a half an hour early for every appointment because I hate being late. An attribute I'm glad I possess because everything in the airline industry is time sensitive.

2)People who stare.

Now this shit drives me up the wall! I would rather you be bold enough to say exactly what you're thinking about me rather than stare a hole through me. You know that look people give you when you know they're thinking "that dude is gay". No shit Sherlock!

3)Guys who say they're going to call you at a certain time and then you don't hear from them.

Now of the three I think this is the one that burns me up the most. Bare with me because I think I need to get a few things off of my chest and writing is therapuetic . If you say you're going to call just pick up the damn phone and call. If I promise someone that I'm going to call then that's exactly what I'm going to do, and if I can't I'm going to send a text message unless I'm physically ill and incapable of picking up my phone.

I'm sure by now you've guessed that some guy has pissed me off and you're right. Consistency is so important in any relationship and he's everything but consistent. So why haven't I deleted his number from my phone yet? Becasue he's fine! I know that's a shallow reason...trust me I really do and I should know better, but now I know what the girls from SWV were singing about in that song WEAK. Lawd have mercy!!!

I think it would be so much easier to forget about him if we didn't have so much fun when we're together. He's almost everything that I look for in a potential mate, if only I could get him to use his phone. I know this probably sounds crazy but communication is so important to me, and there's nothing worse than being in a relationship all by yourself.

My luck has got to get better. I wanted to be married with kids and a house by 30 and that's only three years away. I think it's time I start taking applications because Mr. Almost Right is turning out to be wrong. Ok I'm done venting, but I have the feeling this won't be the last time. Did I mention how fine he is?

HELP! Don’t Let Me Fall

The Pastor of my church began a series this month that I would like to share with you over the next few weeks. The series is based on a very familiar portion of scripture. As we examine this scripture in the coming weeks, we will reiterate truths you already know and hopefully we will discover new meaning in this popular bible story. I would like to start this series a little differently. Instead of me going on and on (as I tend to do) about what I think of the text, I would like to offer the text, ask a few questions and get your take on how this story speaks to you. This format can only work with your participation.

Matthew 14:22-30

22And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.

23And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.

24But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.

25And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.

26And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.

27But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.

28And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.

29And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.

30But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.

We have all come to places in our life where we start out toward a goal never to fully achieve it. In this story Peter started the journey toward Jesus walking on water but ended up sinking. How and why did Peter start out so strong but end up crying out to Jesus for help? Do we see the same scenario played out in our own lives? What can we do to avoid replicating Peter’s errors?

I look forward to your responses.

Despite life’s struggles, remember what God can do.

Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Savior, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen. (Jude 24-25)

Email Albert: albertrlee@hotmail.com
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I'm preparing to take my second of four flight exams over the next week, so forgive me for being M.I.A. . Regular updates should resume shortly. In the meantime check out this link .

An artist knows they have a hit song on their hands when millions of people are singing along even when they don't know the words or when they hate the song but can't stop themselves from singing the infectious hook. When I first heard Rihanna's number 1 single "Umbrella" I was hoping the rain would stop so she could put the umbrella away! But after seeing the video for the first single off of her third studio album "Good Girl Gone Bad" I was hooked.

I find myself singing Umbrella numerous times throughout the course of the day, and if you know me then you know there's always music or choreography in my head, but lately it's just been Umbrella. Oh my God! Am I becoming a Rihanna fan?

I caught her performance on the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday and although she has a hit she still needs some polishing on her performance skills. Was it just me or was it extremely weird to see Jay-Z on stage without Beyonce? I swear I was waiting for B to come on stage and give us one good ole' African dance!

Rihanna is beautiful and I give her props for singing live despite her limited vocal ability, but the performance never seemed to climax. Rumor has it that she wants to dethrone Beyonce. I would want nothing more than to see someone send Beyonce on a long vacation, but Rihanna is going to have to step up her game if she wants to achieve Beyonce's status.

Clay Cane writes a hilarious but accurate review of Rhianna's new cd here . You can also check out my second favorite single "Breakin Dishes" off of her new cd here . Wow! I'm really turning into a fan...HELP!

Labels: Entertainment

Last week I posted a story recapping the memorial day event Sizzle in Miami . For those of you who are unaware, Sizzle attracts thousands of Black gay men from all over to party in one of the hottest cities in the country.

I make a valiant effort not to restrict the comments that readers leave since I value everyone's opinion and I welcome the dialogue. But last weekend as a result of my post, dozens of "anonymous" Black women wrote exactly what they thought about Black gay men and it was not pretty. I usually ignore those who leave hateful comments and don't even have the courage to leave their name, but I knew that so many other women shared their views and it didn't sit well with me.

After reading their thoughts I got together with two Black women and discussed their perception of Black gay men and their reaction to the comments that were left by their peers. The ending is abrupt due to technical difficulties and my waiting to the last minute to get this done, but check it out and make sure to leave a comment.

Labels: Video Blog

CHICAGO , IL-- U.S. Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) today released the following statement to commemorate Pride Month. "Pride Month is a reminder that while we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do.""Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It's about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."

"It's time to turn the page on the bitterness and bigotry that fill so much of today's LGBT rights debate. The rights of all Americans should be protected -- whether it's at work or anyplace else. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" needs to be repealed because patriotism and a sense of duty should be the key tests for military service, not sexual orientation. Civil unions should give gay couples full rights. And those who commit hate crimes should be punished no matter whether those crimes are committed on account of race, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation."

"This Pride Month, let's make our founding promise of equality a reality for every American."

Refreshing to hear, but it's still too early in the game for me to give Obama my vote...we shall see.

Labels: Politics