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Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I was recently asked by a reader what I thought about Donnie McClurkin and his reported "conversion" to heterosexuality.I originally wrote this post in July 2006 and thought it would be appropriate to post it again. After all it was Donnie's life story that was sent to me by mom that ushered me into my purpose. My mom was a little dissapointed because the letter had the opposite effect on me. Instead of becoming a new Donnie McClurkin/Ted Haggard heterosexual, I became an even stronger God fearing SGL man of color. I sent this letter to Donnie via e-mail, he never responded.
Dear Donnie,
You don’t know me but I’m well aware of who you are. Although we have never met, years ago your music became apart of my life. But not a single lyric or melody has had the impact that your life story has had . Let me forewarn you that this is not a letter of admiration or praise for your ministry. While I cannot dismiss the calling God has for your life or your anointed musical ability, as a gay African-American man I must dismiss the lies and misinformation you have fed the public regarding the origin of sexual orientation and the ability to revert to heterosexuality if desired.
As a former victim of child molestation I’m sure during your early development sexuality was a very confusing matter for you. I’m truly sorry that you had to endure so much pain at such a young age and that the pain has continued in your adult life.
Your story was given to me by mother and to many other gay brothers by relatives as a prescription to cure their homosexuality. See Donnie this is where I have the problem. I don’t have a sickness and I don’t need something as natural to me as my skin color to be prayed out, sent to an X gay ministry, or married into a unauthentic heterosexual relationship.
You claim that you have been delivered and now lead a “normal” heterosexual life, what I see is a man who may have changed his behavior but not his orientation. Let me tell you Donnie there is a difference.
I know it would be extremely difficult for you to live life as an out gay man in your industry, the majority of your peers are still closeted, and we all know that in the black church if you remain a quiet homosexual then others are free to believe you’re not in spite of knowing the truth.
I’ve heard you say in interviews that you were miserable when you were living the “gay lifestyle”(whatever that means). I really hope that as a single man in his 40’s with no signs of getting married in the near future, you have found happiness in conforming to the unauthentic expectations on your life that you’ve decided to accept.
I know it’s not easy being true to yourself and aligning that with the word, there is obvious conflict in scriptures according to many interpretations. I can only speak for myself when I say I don’t think I would have ever sought out God so early in life and developed a relationship with him if I hadn’t been blessed with a same gender attraction. The homophobia I experienced growing up kept me on my knees praying.
So Donnie I know it’s much easier playing the role and not making anyone uncomfortable by allowing them to see the real you, but for how long?
Your message is one-sided and has provided false hope for people looking to change their son or daughter when the author of the story is clearly still struggling himself. My life changed completely the day I decided to accept my DNA as God created it. Will you accept yours?
Darian
9 Comments:
I'm sure Donnie never responded.
I would like to provide some insight with your letter and what I learned from watching Donnie.
Donnie did admit that the homosexual lifestyle is miserable. I, can also attest that living this lifestyle is miserable, not because we don't "accept" ourselves or "hate" ourselves. It is a matter that your spirit is at war with your flesh. I would call this, "Cognitive Dissonance" to a certain extent. Donnie simply had to come to a point that if he wants to purposefully, and purely want to do the work of God, you must have clean hands, a clean heart and a body HOLY and ACCEPTABLE unto God.
Yes, we all have gifts without repentance. However, yielding to God is not always easy. Homosexuality doesn't please God and when your spirit is grieved and vexed that you feel trapped, and confused. As we live our lives and picking up our "cross" daily following Christ, we strive to be more like Him and in doing so, things in our lives must die as we evolve and mature in Christianity. We not only speak and learn this doctrine, but we have to LIVE the doctrine of Jesus Christ. For myself, I know how Donnie feels and countless other men and women feel the same.
Who are you or any other person able to question the power of God to change someone's life. If Jesus can raise the dead, open the blinded eye, heal the sick, cleanse the leprosy, Jesus name is POWERFUL ENOUGH to change us and our sexual nature that has been vexed and scorned.
Sometimes you have to been in the storm in order to tell the story of how the storm really happened.
April 05, 2007 10:37 PM
Captain I don't question God's ability to work miracles or bring about change in a person's life. It seems so easy for you to accept the thought that you can be delivered from homosexuality, but you can't even come close to accepting the fact that God created LGBT people just as they are.
I really feel for you and people like Donnie, because every time you speak about your "deliverance" it's apparent how broken your spirit is from conforming to what is expected of you rather than living your life honestly.
We can quote scriptures at each other back and forth all day long, but when it's all said and done you'll still be an unhappy black gay man.
By the way, how is that straight thing working out for you?
April 05, 2007 11:06 PM
Darian,
This has nothing to do with being gay or straight, the fight is far more serious and more is at stake than someone's sexuality. The war of spirit and flesh is much wider than anyone can think about. Your very soul is under attack! Sexuality is just a part of it. I am not here to quote scripture, even the devil knows the bible. God doesn't create confusing mistakes.
I feel Donnie is happy and we all can see the joy in his music and work for God as he is doing what God wants him to do.
Me, personally, it is not about "trying" the straight thing, it is letting God do what he does best.
April 05, 2007 11:51 PM
Captian give it up! You spew your nonsense on my blog now on darian's blog. What a miserable person you are! Spirit and flesh at war? Captian please, that concept is tiresome. If living as a gay man is miserable than fine than. But why come to our blogs, spew your toxic ,and try to make us feel your pain, suffering, and struggle, why? It must be hard to fight yourself! You ignore what is true inside, you give silly concepts like spirit and flesh at war. So hetersexuals are inheritly clean hearted, have clean hands, and body holy? Captain please, save it for someone else. You make God look complex, but God is simple. People like you are so complex! It's obvious your torn between what you know is true and you, and also a contridicting book people love to quote from to justify their views od someone! Sure God doesn't create confusing mistakes, that's why we know who we are! But sadly your state is not God's doing, but your own!
Darian: The straight thing is obviously not working at all! Captain must be struggling hard to please his view of God! So captain why do you visit black gay blogs if the so-called lifestyle is miserable?
Also celibracy does not make you a hetersexual or being cure by God! I'm sorry but donnie's story is not sound enough! Donnie, like alan chambers[exdous ministry], captain, are just reclosted gay men! That door is relock, lights out, and can't even find the doorknob!
April 06, 2007 12:45 AM
Simply....you don't understand. I see the typical gay man's response all the time.
I've been there and said that and know the argument all too well.
April 06, 2007 8:18 AM
this was written a while back but i am going to go ahead and write anyway!!! captain i totally agree with you. this spirit of homosexuality is so strong and its evident in how these men are responding. all that is left for us to do now is plead the blood of JESUS over all the men and women that are dealing with this and want to get out.
October 05, 2007 8:27 PM
Just two throw my two cents in this blog. I would just like to say that putting aside any religion or religious perspectives
homosexuality and lesbianism doesn't make sense. It is obvious that men and women were not created to be lovers of the same sex. We were not created physically or mentally for that purpose. Man and woman were created in such a way that when joined together sexually children can be produced. Whether a person be gay or lesbian who can say that this is not true? What would be the point of creating men and women if we are not attracted to one another? Then why would God not create just men or just women or simply make us all asexual? So therefore it is obvious that there must be another answer to homosexuality/lesbianism. If you believe we were all born in sin and iniquity then couldn't the spirit of homosexuality be sin and therefore can't we be delivered? If we should only act on how we feel without any boundaries then who can answer for people attracted to kids, people who kill, people who like to have sex with animals they also are acting on how they feel and at the same time created by God. So therefore it only makes sense that there is sin and homosexuality along with many others sins like lying, stealing and such can be delivered by God.
December 10, 2007 2:19 AM
Diamond I'd like to welcome you to my blog and thank you for expressing your opinion in a calm manner. However, I must let you know that I personally take offense to you or anyone else comparing my life to the likes of pedopehiles, murderers, or those who participate in beastiality.
Your comparison is far reaching and totally off base. I along with many gay and lesbian people are involved in monogamous relationships with another consenting adult.
It's a fact that gay couples cannot reproduce. But what about heterosexual couples who cannot reproduce or choose not to? Are their relationships an abomination? Sensless? Null and void? That argument is archaic at best and not even applicable to all couples whether they're straight or gay.
December 10, 2007 2:48 AM
Darion thanks for being so kind and thank you for responding. I'm not responding to change how you feel apparently you have a made up mind and you will probably remain gay unless God himself came out of heaven and said "Darion I say unto you don't be gay", but for the sake of an intelligent conversation on this issue.
Hypothetically speaking, if men and women had no attraction for each other what do you believe is the purpose of men and women co-existing amongst each other? my purpose for asking is simply that if we were not created to be with one another than what is the point of a man being a man and a woman being a woman?
December 10, 2007 3:12 AM
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