Living Out Loud with Darian

One of the great things about living in Atlanta is all of the history and culture that is wrapped up in this city. Today we honor the life and legacy of one of our greatest leaders, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. . I had the pleasure of visiting the MLK Center over the weekend and I was overwhelmed with the achievements and personal sacrifices he made in order for us to enoy the freedom that we sometimes take for granted today.



There are no words that I could possibly write to describe the impact he had on our nation during his lifetime and the impact of his words and what he stood for even after his death that will never be forgotten. So I will reflect on his famous "I Have A Dream Speech" on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on August 28, 1963.

Labels: People

There are very few things in life that I regret, meeting my ex-boyfriend would definitely be one and not attending Sizzle this year in Miami would be second. I actually had the weekend off with flying benefits and a VIP card thanks to my boss, but I chose to live vicariously through my friends who were basking in the beauty of thousands of black men on the beautiful sandy beaches of Miami.

This crazy decision definitely qualifys me for a "what in the hell were you thinking award"? . But I know I wasn't the only person absent from the festivities, so if you didn't make it down to Sizzle I'm bringing you the hottest recap of the weekend's events thanks to an anonymous guest blogger. Pictures courtesy of Lonnell Williams .

10 Things You Should Know

This year I had the opportunity to attend Miami Sizzle's 6th Annual event in sunny Miami, Florida, and to call it pandemonium would be a true understatement. CEO Dwight Powell and his team (Lorenzo Turner, Cordell McClary and Luis Medrano) launched one of the highest-octane and activity packed holiday weekends I've ever been apart of.

Miami was the perfect backdrop for this sexy, ultra-classy affair where I received eye candy that will have me running to the dentist for a fill in. In a twist this year the 4 Star Hyatt Regency Miami happily welcomed the 'gay dollar' as it acted as the host hotel instead of the satellite hotel from previous years. The city welcomed the black gay community with open arms as the mayor of the booming metropolis, Carlos Alvarez, delivered a personal welcome letter that was included in the events brochure.

Droves of same gender loving men and women came from all across the world to be a part of an event that is catered to us-and most importantly by us. From The Sizzle Booze Cruise, The True Queens Of Comedy, The Haulover Beach Control, Carnival, and everything in between. The Sizzle organization executed the daunting task of providing interesting yet sexy events flawlessly.

But don't think the Memorial Day weekend was just about parties and clubbing because it wasn't. When I needed to get away and relax I strolled on over to Sizzle Village and lost myself in the movie lounge, caught up on some emails in the Cyber Café, and just laid back in the hospitality lounge. There was a fascinating open-forum discussion on online hook-ups and sex moderated by Derrick L. Briggs. Andre Mizrahi, in association with Sizzle Miami, presented the Bring It Ball where contestants competed for a cash prize of $7, 500.00.

Since this was my inception to the ultra-elegant, five-day excursion I'll have to admit that there were a few things I did right, and a few things I did wrong. I thought that I would compile a list of do's and don'ts that will guarantee you the best experience possible while you make Miami your destination for next year's first Summer holiday weekend.

1. Purchase a VIP card! Sizzle offers different VIP access cards that secure your admission to every Sizzle sponsored event. There's no waiting in line, no worrying about getting into a party, nothing. I had one and I got the chance to see everything while my friends weren't so lucky. If you're a true baller might I suggest the VIP Black Card!

2. Rent your own vehicle and book your own hotel room!! Let's face it, friends are great and you want to experience a great time while in their company. But when it comes to hook-ups, and late night adventures, it's best that you have your own accommodations so that you don't have to answer to anyone or wait for anybody when you're out and about.

3. Leave the attitude at home! Listen, everybody knows that we gays can be some shady bitches, however, when you're coming to a gay event you need to be as open to meeting as many people as possible. In the long run you're only hurting yourself by walking around acting like your shit don't stink.

4. Safe sex is very important, but I think it's pointless to waste your money on condoms upon arriving. Every place I went over the weekend seemed to have free condoms (yes, even the ones to fit us blessed downstairs bruthas). I didn't even get a chance to crack open the fresh box of Magnum XL's I brought with me.

5. LEAVE YOUR BOYFRIENDS AT HOME!!! I can't stress this suggestion enough. This event, as classy as it is, isn't for couples. There are so many scantily clad men walking around that are bound to approach you with things other then "getting to know you" on their mind. Just don't play yourself by bringing your significant other. There are bound to be issues! I personally witnessed three couples break up while in attendance. I'm not advocating cheating, but I am sure that you're better off declining an advance on your own rather then in the company of your mate.

6. Don't get an attitude with event employees, hotel staff, or security. It's a crazy ass weekend and everybody is trying to accommodate everybody. Try to take into consideration the daunting task everyone is attempting to deal with to make your stay as enjoyable as possible.

7. Tip your bartenders! That doesn't need further explanation.

8. Bring enough money to cover your own expenses. This is another rule that I can't stress enough. With it being a holiday weekend, things are going to cost a little more than normal. Make sure your budget can accommodate you so that you don't have to impede on anyone else's finances to support your fun.

9. Don't leave your drink unattended for any reason! I had a friend fall victim to someone slipping a substance into his drink which had us rushing him to the hospital. If you put your drink down and walk away from it for any reason, consider it a wash and just purchase another one.


10. Have fun, be responsible, and make it a weekend to remember!

Labels: Entertainment, People

The name Antron R. Brown may not be familiar to you now, but it's only a matter of time before the world takes notice of this emerging black gay writer. I've had the privilege of getting to know Antron over the past couple of months and I've personally witnessed his incredible work ethic and his desire to share his God given gift with the world.

Antron is on the brink of releasing his very first self-published book entitled "Bohemian Rebel:Naked and Exposed Vol.1" . Bohemian Rebel is a collection of poetry based on Antron's experience as a Black, christian gay man growing up in the south, but his words undoubtedly mirror the experiences of so many of us.

I can't help but to think back to the early days of E. Lynn Harris when he sold his first novel out of the trunk of his car and in beauty salons. It's ironic that E. Lynn is one of Antron's inspirations because I see so much of his drive in Antron.

I recently had an opportunity to sit down with Antron and learn about his life and his new book. The interview happened on the spur of the moment after reading "Irresponsible Christianity Part 2" , a riveting poem from his book. Antron is a very colorful and honest human being, all of which you will hear in my interview. You may not know Antron now but soon you will.

Click here to listen to the full interview.

Labels: People, Podcast

The following article was written for Clik Magazine during the height of the Terry McMillan and Jonathan Plummer $40 million dollar lawsuit scandal. It was scheduled to be included in the current issue but in the world of journalism stories get old fast and there's always something hotter around the corner. I spoke to Jonathan over the phone about two months ago and he agreed to talk to me off the record, due to his pending legal issues.

It was an hour long conversation that I thought was going to end fairly quickly since Jonathan was so apprehensive about talking to me, but once he opened up I couldn't stop him from talking. It was my objective to really find out why some gay men feel the need to marry women. I could never do it, but so many people have. My interview with Jonathan and all of the drama between he and Terry McMillan gave me the words to write "The Aftermath of I Do".

The Aftermath of I Do
by Darian Aaron

They’re at it again. Just when we thought the drama surrounding the divorce of Terry McMillan and Jonathan Plummer was over; we’re caught off guard by a 40 million dollar lawsuit filed against her now openly gay ex-husband.

It’s been over two years since Terry learned of the Jonathan’s secret that would eventually ruin their marriage. A secret that Jonathan claims even he wasn’t aware of until his late twenties. The young man who had managed to sweep her off her feet at forty-three, inspired a best -selling novel, and became the first to offer his hand in marriage was gay. The fairy tale romance that usually ends with two lovers riding off into the sunset had been re-written to include betrayal and outrage. This became painfully obvious as we watched Terry and Jonathan’s personal life play out in the public arena. Who could forget the dozens of television appearances and newspaper articles that provided a platform for tongue-lashings, homophobic slurs, and an overall emotional meltdown by a woman who seemed to have it all?

Fast forward to the present and Terry’s still not done. It is seemingly obvious that her erratic behavior is a result of heartache and revenge has become her weapon of choice on the difficult road to closure. Many black women sympathize with Terry’s plight, viewing Jonathan Plummer as a down low opportunist who used her to gain entry into the United States. Could this be true? In the court of public opinion the verdict is yes, but only Jonathan knows the real answer to this question.

There are so many questions that have either gone unanswered or haven’t been up for discussion that reach far beyond the relationship of these two celebrities into the larger gay community. Why do some gay men feel the need to marry women? It’s obvious after watching Terry and Jonathan’s drama unfold that nothing good can possibly come out of a marriage that is based on lies. Could it be that these men are caving into pressure from family, church, and society and the idea that a man isn’t a man unless he has a woman on his arm?

I’ve heard many people say, “How could she not know he’s gay, just look at him”. The reality is that love can blind you from seeing the truth even when it’s staring you right in the face. We only see the fantasy we’ve conjured up in our mind and we ignore all of the signs that point to the truth. It’s easier said than done for some men to live life authentically. Jonathan claims he was unaware of his attraction to men at the time he committed his life to his ex-wife and it wasn’t until later that he began to act on his sexual feelings. While his attraction to other men is completely natural, many would agree that his infidelity was wrong. Unfortunately, this seems to be common behavior among many gay men who enter into unauthentic relationships, eventually the natural outweighs the unnatural and keeping up the facade becomes less important.

Terry has made it very clear that she doesn’t feel sorry for Jonathan because he wasn’t man enough to be forthcoming about his sexuality, “ I don't care how long he's been in the closet; I didn't put him in there.” she’s said.
She may not have put him in the closet and closed the door, but her homophobic remarks and the tolerance for anti-gay slurs in this country has definitely created an atmosphere where it’s next to impossible for a gay man to come out without the fear of rejection or being subjected to violence.

Knowing this does not excuse Jonathan or any man to enter into a union as serious as marriage under false pretenses. Doing so only welcomes unnecessary pain, and if you’re Terry McMillan, a restraining order followed by a $40 million dollar lawsuit.

It seems Jonathan has done his best to move on and has adopted his ex-wife’s profession in the process. In August he will be releasing “Balancing Act”, a book that Jonathan says will reveal his side of the story. There is no doubt that his literary turn has added more fuel to the fire between him and Terry.

For the time being it seems as though this very private matter will continue to play itself out in public. This very expensive and messy divorce should serve as a lesson to gay men everywhere who enter into heterosexual relationships with motives other than to love, cherish, and honor his wife. While both Terry and Jonathan are free to lead their lives on their own terms, their future relationships are sure to be affected by this painful experience.

It’s time for Terry to gain attention again based on her ability to write stories and less on her ability to air her dirty laundry for the entire world to see. A very wise man once told me that it’s not what happens to you in life, but it’s how you react that’s important. I’d like to pass along that advice to Terry.

Hopefully Jonathan and men like him will think twice before they promise to be present for a woman emotionally, especially when their heart truthfully belongs to another man. The road to healing can often be rocky and embarrassing, just asks Terry.

Labels: People

The lives of LGBT people have been explored quite a few times recently in the media, from 20/20's story on transgender children, to the MSNBC special "Born In The Wrong Body", to the handful of victories across the nation for marriage equality, it seems Americans are more comfortable with images of LGBT people entering their homes and their lives.

Unlike years ago we have at least come to a place where we can talk about our differences openly with hopes of learning from each other. I'm often asked if I had the opportunity to become straight would I change my orientation and the answer to that question is no.

60 Minutes is currently running a story exclusively online on the origins of sexual orientation. The study even examines the differences in brain structure, mannerisms, and speech patterns between heterosexual and homosexual individuals, with all signs leading to nature over nurture. I've written about whether or not I think homosexuality is a choice before and it still baffles me when I hear heterosexuals boldly proclaim that it's a choice that can be easily undone without giving it a second thought. I'm still waiting for a hetero to tell me the day and time they chose to become straight...it hasn't happened yet. Truth be told (at least as I see it) your sexual orientation is indigenous to who you are.

This couldn't be more evident than in the case of nine year olds Jared and Adam, two paternal twins who couldn't be any more different. While Jared finds pleasure in his G.I. Joe collection his brother Adam paints his nails and collects Barbies. When Adam's mom was asked why she didn't do anything to change her son's behavior she replied, " I could have changed Adam on the outside and he may have shown me the macho boy I wanted him to be, but that wouldn't have changed him on the inside and I think that would have damaged him a lot more".

When Adam was asked if he was proud of the person he is today he responded by shaking his head yes as the most innocent and loving smile appeared on his face. Adam's attraction to the things that are deemed appropriate for the opposite sex is just as natural to him as his brother Jared's affection for his G.I. Joe collection. It saddens me that Adam may not gain the acceptance from the rest of the world as he matures that he does from his family. If only adults could love more and judge less the world would be a much nicer place.

Labels: People, Sexuality

In the wake of the latest Coco Dorm controversy and a recent outing to see the sexually driven film Boy Culture (which is excellent by the way), I've been pondering over the widely held belief that all gay men are promiscuous. You've heard people say before that being gay is all about sex and that gay men cannot maintain long -lasting relationships. I've found myself in the middle of many heated debates on this topic and my belief is that all men regardless of their sexual orientation are built with a strong apetite for sex, and unlike most women they are capable of performing the act without being emotionally involved.

So to say that all gay men are promiscious is an unfair generalization. How many of us have straight male friends who are constantly competing to see how many women they've slept with; as if they're going to get a trophy for being in the triple digits? This behavior is not only condoned in many circles but it is considered an example of true masculinity.

I can only speak for myself, but the drought I've been going through the past couple of months alone proves this theory to be false. I personally respect myself enough not to share my body with complete strangers. I'm not professing to be an angel because God knows when I first landed in New York City in the late 90's I did some things I'm not proud of now. But when you know better you do better.

You would think that the reality of HIV/AIDS and it's impact on the world would be enough to curb the need for unprotected sex but that's not the case. People have been having sex since the beginning of time and 25 years after the start of the epidemic we're not slowing down. I believe that anyone who engages in sexual intercourse should be mature enough to use a condom and ask the important questions that could affect their health, and if they're unable to do those two things they shouldn't be having sex at all.

Much of the hype around gay promiscuity has been the platform of the religious right. They've used it to invoke fear and divide people who are uninformed, knowing they will accept anything from clergy as fact. So many of us are trained to accept what we're taught and not dare ask questions. Sounds like a form of brainwashing to me.

The belief that gay men are more promiscious than any other group is just ridiculous. Can we just tell the truth and say men are promiscious, it has nothing to do with their sexual preference. But why would we want to separate the two when it's become a recreational sport for some to demonize gay men?

Labels: People, Sexuality

I was recently sent an article that was printed in the New York Times that explored the existence of racism in the professional dance world, particularly in two major New York Ballet Companies, The New York City Ballet and The American Ballet Theater.

The piece entitled "Where Are The Balck Swans"? took issue with the lack of diversity in American ballet. Since The Dance Theater of Harlem went on hiatus in 2004 there has been a very small number of Black dancers who have been employed to dance with professional companies. And even if they're lucky enough to land a job, they usually never advance beyond the corps de ballet .

So why do these dancers continue to dance in the face of rejection? I'll tell you why, because they were born to do it. The truth is that they would do it for free. I always tell people who want to dance professionaly if there is anything else in life they would rather do then do it, this career is not for the faint of heart.

You would think that race would not be a factor in the dance community and that it would all boil down to what each dancer has to bring to the floor, but that's not the case. This problem doesn't just exist in the ballet world but in commercial dance and Broadway as well.

I'll never forget how often I noticed the color of my skin during my days as a dancer in New York City. It was common practice to count the number of Black dancers who were auditioning for the same job, because we knew there was only room for one or two. There's always a "token blackie" in every show, and while you don't want to be that person you also don't want to be unemployed.

There is no shortage of talented classically trained Black dancers, but there is a shortage of ballet masters and directors who are unwilling to shift their thinking and introduce audiences to an image of a new ballerina...a Black one.

Labels: Entertainment, People

Ok, so last week I hinted that I had a big announcement to share with you guys. I was prepared to just let it all out here today but I'm going to have to wait until the end of the week. But I can tell you part one of the two part surprise. Over the course of the next few weeks this site will be getting a major facelift. Living Out Loud with Darian has grown beyond my wildest dreams and to celebrate my one year blogging anniversary I will be teaming up with a designer to polish the site.

Part two is what I'm really excited to share with you, it's been a long time coming and it's going to be a major life change for me. Dang I want to spill it! Awwww hell I'll give you a hint. Click here .

Labels: People

Dictionary.com refers to Transgender people as: a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, as a transsexual or habitual cross-dresser. While the definition is very broad, its meaning is very fascinating. I won't pretend to understand the Transgender or their struggle to be socially accepted. But after watching Barbara Walters 20/20 amazing special on the topic this past weekend, I have to admit that I received a fast tracks course on an issue that surprisingly amazed and intrigued me.

In this powerful and pioneering television special, Barbara spoke to a series of parents who have taken on the daunting task of raising transgender youth in today's rigid, and over-classifying society. In one segment I got the opportunity to hear Scott and Renee Jennings encouraging story - as they try to cope and understand one of the most hush-hush issues of our time—Gender Identity Disorder. As offensive as the term may be to some, that is how transgender people are classified in the medical profession.

Their youngest child- "Jazz" Jennings (pictured above) - is a booming bundle of joy whose parents adore her with all of their heart. (I will admit that little Jazz even melted my own heart.) Since the moment Jazz was born, particularly the moment she could speak, she was quite vocal in her opposition of being called a boy. Thinking it was just a faze Renee and Scott attempted to ignore it, but as Jazz got older her "disorder" became more and more prevalent. It was at that moment that Jazz's parents made the difficult decision to allow the youngest member of their family to be the person she felt she was—a girl.

While their story was very compelling, it forced me to face an undeniable revelation. Why does it seem that the gay community doesn't acknowledge or include Trangender men and women into their social circles? Has everyone become so self involved with their own sexual identity issues that they've alienated an entire sub-culture of people? It's abundantly clear that Transgender people experience more hate and ridicule then any other group could ever imagine.

If you think that I am wrong about my assessment then ask yourself these two questions:

1. Do I have any Transgender friends?
2. Why?

If your answer was honest then I am sure that you will come to find that you may have some horizontal hatred or ignorance to an entire sub-culture that is apart of the community.

While many people outside of the Gay Community view gay men and women as sexual deviants, Trangender people have a much more profound issue. They have to somehow navigate their own biological identify in a culture that barely accepts homosexuality, let alone anything else that isn't considered "normal". And some studies are showing that transgender men and women are 4 times more likely to commit suicide, catch HIV and start using drugs more then any other demographic.

While the gay "struggle" is a serious issue that needs to be handled with vigor and great stride. It's nothing compared to the struggles of transgender men and women. It is time for us all to be more inclusive and a lot more open minded.

"IF YOU WANT IT HOT AND BLACK"
LOG ONTO O1LT.COM

Labels: People, Transgender

Over the weekend I finally had the opportunity to see what all the fuss was about over Jennifer Hudson and Patti LaBelle's appearance at the GLAAD Media Awards. The special aired on LOGO last Saturday and was actually quite entertaining. But I guess you should expect nothing less when it's being organized by hundreds of talented LGBT people.

Jennifer presented Patti with the excellence in media award and seemed humbled that she was given the opportunity to pay homage to a woman that opened doors for her. There was no way that these two women could be on stage together in front of a microphone and not sing, that would be considered a crime. Jennifer belted out "Somewhere over the rainbow" and as expected the room went up! But nothing could have prepared me for the impromptu duet between the two when Patti began singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen”. Lawd have mercy! For all of the kids who hadn't been to church in years because they felt rejected, definitely had a religious experience during this moment!

I'd almost forgotten what real singers sound like, it's not everyday you hear voices like Patti and Jennifer's on the radio. Patti LaBelle has been an amazing supporter of the gay community for over 45 years, despite the controversy she caused by singing at homophobe Bishop Eddie Long's church last year, this honor was well overdue.

I remember seeing her in concert when I was in my early teens and a male fan rushed the stage in the middle of the show, security immediately grabbed him but Patti intervened. I'll never forget her words, she said" Let him go. Come on up her sweetie! I ain't Diana Ross I like people! It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight just come". Her show was amazing but it was that moment that put the icing on the cake for me. Patti LaBelle will always be the ultimate diva.

Labels: Entertainment, People

I was recently asked by a reader what I thought about Donnie McClurkin and his reported "conversion" to heterosexuality.I originally wrote this post in July 2006 and thought it would be appropriate to post it again. After all it was Donnie's life story that was sent to me by mom that ushered me into my purpose. My mom was a little dissapointed because the letter had the opposite effect on me. Instead of becoming a new Donnie McClurkin/Ted Haggard heterosexual, I became an even stronger God fearing SGL man of color. I sent this letter to Donnie via e-mail, he never responded.




Dear Donnie,

You don’t know me but I’m well aware of who you are. Although we have never met, years ago your music became apart of my life. But not a single lyric or melody has had the impact that your life story has had . Let me forewarn you that this is not a letter of admiration or praise for your ministry. While I cannot dismiss the calling God has for your life or your anointed musical ability, as a gay African-American man I must dismiss the lies and misinformation you have fed the public regarding the origin of sexual orientation and the ability to revert to heterosexuality if desired.

As a former victim of child molestation I’m sure during your early development sexuality was a very confusing matter for you. I’m truly sorry that you had to endure so much pain at such a young age and that the pain has continued in your adult life.

Your story was given to me by mother and to many other gay brothers by relatives as a prescription to cure their homosexuality. See Donnie this is where I have the problem. I don’t have a sickness and I don’t need something as natural to me as my skin color to be prayed out, sent to an X gay ministry, or married into a unauthentic heterosexual relationship.

You claim that you have been delivered and now lead a “normal” heterosexual life, what I see is a man who may have changed his behavior but not his orientation. Let me tell you Donnie there is a difference.

I know it would be extremely difficult for you to live life as an out gay man in your industry, the majority of your peers are still closeted, and we all know that in the black church if you remain a quiet homosexual then others are free to believe you’re not in spite of knowing the truth.

I’ve heard you say in interviews that you were miserable when you were living the “gay lifestyle”(whatever that means). I really hope that as a single man in his 40’s with no signs of getting married in the near future, you have found happiness in conforming to the unauthentic expectations on your life that you’ve decided to accept.

I know it’s not easy being true to yourself and aligning that with the word, there is obvious conflict in scriptures according to many interpretations. I can only speak for myself when I say I don’t think I would have ever sought out God so early in life and developed a relationship with him if I hadn’t been blessed with a same gender attraction. The homophobia I experienced growing up kept me on my knees praying.

So Donnie I know it’s much easier playing the role and not making anyone uncomfortable by allowing them to see the real you, but for how long?

Your message is one-sided and has provided false hope for people looking to change their son or daughter when the author of the story is clearly still struggling himself. My life changed completely the day I decided to accept my DNA as God created it. Will you accept yours?

Darian

Labels: Activism, People

Last night I had the opportunity to hear the controversial Bishop Carlton Pearson speak on what he calls "The Gospel of Inclusion" on the campus of Morehouse College. The lecture was titled "Claim It: Your Truth, Your Faith, Your Sexuality", and was sponsored by the HRC and SAFE SPACE, an LGBT club created by a group of openly gay Morehouse men.

The hour long message from Bishop Pearson gave the audience insight on the rise and fall of one of the Black church's most influential and wealthy leaders, and the new doctrine that he now preaches that has caused old friends to abandon him and new friends to embrace him.

When I first heard that he had been invited to speak at Morehouse I was in shock. HBCU's are generally conservative and rooted deep in tradition, a tradition that has a reputation for excluding and mistreating it's gay and lesbian students.

It was my first time on Morehouse's campus so I had a close friend who is on staff there give me a tour. As we walked around the yard I couldn't help but notice the large number of SGL men that I saw walking in every direction, but in the opposite direction of Bishop Pearson's lecture. I would later find out that homophobia still runs deep at Morehouse even in some gay circles, most likely resulting in the small number of students and faculty who are out on campus.



In November of 2002, a gay bashing sent shockwaves through the school when then 19 year old student Aaron Price assaulted Gregory Love, another student who he perceived to be gay in a shower stall with a baseball bat, leaving him with a fractured skull. Former Morehouse student Jason Harrell shares his experience as an openly gay man at Morehouse here .

I never attended an HBCU and for a moment walking on campus I felt like I'd missed out on a wonderful experience. But the further I walked and the more I learned of the college experience of many of my gay brothers, the less I felt like I'd missed out on a golden opportunity. The conservatory I attended on Manhattan's upper west side began to look even more like a cultural hotbed of diversity.

I always thought that Morehouse and gay men went hand in hand, you couldn't possibly have one without the other. It's obvious that LGBT folks are apart of the student body, but unfortunately because of conservatism and the hostile environment towards gays they remain closeted.

Hopefully Bishop Pearson's presence will spark the long overdue dialogue about the need for tolerance and acceptance on the campus of Morehouse and other institutions of higher learning.

Labels: People

Cool Slideshows

The Derrick L. Briggs Book Club has launched a new website for the hugely popular New York book club founded by Derrick L. Briggs in 2003 with the simple yet effective pitch, "Books are Sexy".

I first heard about Derrick and his book club through friend and fellow writer Trent Jackson. Now if you guys read this post from a few days ago then you know I have a difficult time completing the books I read, but Derrick's new ad makes me wanna run to the library and read every book in stock!

It's true, sex sells. But seriously, Derrick is gaining a lot of attention for encouraging people to read more. He was named one of the Top 25 men of 2006 by Instincts Magazine and is in the process of writing his first novel.

I'm proud of him and I don't even know him...yet. Another example of a strong, beautiful, and creative brother making his mark on the world.

Learn more about the Derrick. L. Briggs Book Club here .

Labels: People

If you're an Atlantian or you're in town visiting, if you pick up a copy of the new issue of David Atlanta Magazine you will see a familiar face. I attended John Amaechi's book signing a couple of weeks ago with one of my best friend's Travis (he's the one next to me with the candy !) and somehow managed to end up in front of a camera.

It was an evening that I will always remember, John Amaechi kept my attention for over 2 hours (for many different reasons) and Travis didn't talk to me for a week afterwards...long story. Anyway, he loves me, I love him, and I definitely love John Amaechi !

When you're in Atlanta make sure you pick up copies of two great publications for the GLBT community, Southern Voice News and David Atlanta Magazine .

Labels: People

In 2006 The Washington Post released a series of articles and documentaries depicting the lives of Black men in America. In a world where Black men have overcome insurmountable obstacles to achieve success, our contribution to society is often questioned by "the man" as well as within our own community.

Consider this and then add homosexuality to the mix, and you've got yourself a very challenging life. The original title of the piece was "Being A Black Man", and in response a group of gay men in D.C. decided to discuss over dinner their life experiences as Black gay men.

The men discuss coming out, relationships, rejection from the church, starting families, and the need to identify as both Black and gay without claiming one part of their identity as superior.

It's a very intimate look into the minds and hearts of a group of men who's stories are often deemed unimportant in the larger Black community.

This documentary is a 2007 GLAAD nominee in the Outstanding Digital Journalism category.

Being A Gay Black Man

by Ben de la Cruz, Pierre Kattar, and Sholnn Z. Freeman

Labels: People

Yesterday as I was browsing on myspace I came across a bulletin posted by my friend Willber. The tiltle of the bulletin read, " Little Kid Think's He's Beyonce". I had a feeling that it was going to be highly entertaining and I was right, but I wasn't prepared to read over 200 homophobic comments directed towards the young man in the video, most likely a 6 year old child.

He imitates Beyonce's every move, from the flip of her hair, to her strut, and even her dance moves. I couldn't help but reminisce about when I was his age and I spent hours imitating my favorite singer, Janet Jackson.

This video has been viewed over forty thousand times in less than a week, and the overall reaction to this obviously talented but effeminate little boy has been beyond cruel.

"I would love to have my son beat his ass and get my wife to beat his Momma's ass. This is sad."

"That lil nig gon be gay when he grows up."

"Flamin fag in the making...if it was my son i'd throw his ass in football unpaded for that shit".

"This the problem with the "gay agenda" which is highly supported by ignorant "black" females. they are so Gung ho about seeing lil' boys act like little girls only to be complaining later when their husband is on the down low. the kid looks like a sissy. I bet you he's raised by his momma alone!".

I'm sorry, but the first few seconds, I had to stop the video. I saw spirits flying around this boy. (In case you don't know what that means, I mean demons...Yes, this boy has a homosexual spirit on him, among other spirits) -Is this person serious?

I know these comments were left by ignorant people who aren't even worth the energy or attention I'm giving them, but my heart goes out to this little boy because I've been where he is and I know first hand all of the obstacles he's going to have to overcome. The bottom line is that this child can dance and he needs training so his talent can be molded. At six years old his sexuality shouldn't even be up for discussion. He will deal with that issue when it presents itself, which will probably be soon, I knew at age seven.

I believe his performance in this video is purely innocent and out of admiration for Beyonce, it's definitely not reason to ring the alarm (pun intended) because he's not imitating 50 Cent, which would probably garner him stripes and a gold medal instead of hurtful slurs. We'll accept the thug who's been shot multiple times, perpetuates violence through music and degrades women over the homosexual anyday. America. The sad part is the people who left those comments are not alone in their thoughts. And I heard someone say the other day that there was no such thing as homophobia, yeah right.

Labels: Entertainment, People

Academy Award nominee Terrence Howard recently spoke to the media about the possibility of an out gay rapper finding success in the homophobic music industry and whether or not African -Americans would support a gay artist. His comments are slightly dissapointing and typical, mainly because he makes a failed attempt to appear tolerant and understanding of GLBT people only to infuse the "love the sinner, hate the sin mentality.

"The actor says, "Do I agree with homosexuality? No, I'm a bible based young man. But I know the bible also speaks about homosexuality with liars, adulterers, thieves. I've lied, I've cheated on my wife, I've stolen so how can I judge somebody for something that's mentioned in the same exact scripture? I believe we're all sinners. We're all trying to make it but our hip-hop community are a bunch of hypocrites right now."

Excuse me Terrance, but I'm a little confused. Do you like the gays or are you just caught up in being politically correct? I guess you could have been brutually honest, but we all know what happend to Tim Hardaway when he said a little too much.

Regardless, from one bible based man to another I still think you're hot (for now) !

Labels: People

I've been so busy the past couple of days trying to finish up my next article for Clik Magazine that I haven't had the time to blog or watch the news, and I was accepting the fact that nothing new would be posted until early next week, that was before I received an e-mail and a very angry comment regarding the men of MIAKA from Houston, Texas.

These fraternity brothers who have taken it upon themselves to pattern their organization after the original women of Alpha Kappa Alpha have caused quite a bit of controversy in the past couple of weeks. Their pictures have been all over the internet and most recently on the nightly news in their hometown of Houston. The comment that was left by a reader on this site who calls herself "B", the irresponsible behavior of the men of MIAKA, and the negative reaction towards the gay community has caused me to respond to all of the lies and labels being placed on Black gay men because of this mess. I will respond to "B" first because sadly many uniformed people share her views.


"I think that what they are doing is disrespectful to any Fraternity or Sorority. I dont belong to a Sorority and I am sure that they are far more disgusted then I am. I cant beleive that they would subject our young black males to this....I dont have the words for what I feel for this. We have to make good impressions on our young black males and females, the males especially and to show them that being Gay is right is nothing but wrong. Our boys need a chance if they are going to grow up and turn into the mature men that love their BLACK WOMEN and take care of them and his family. Flaming men, that dont like women or what we stand for but yet and still they are mocking us. Lip gloss, make up, pink, pearls. I cant stand it. I heard this on the Steve Harvey show this morning and nearly lost my breakfast. I am not supportive of this and hope that it doesnt go any further then an idea. Dont they have to be approved to start such an organization???

There's three points that B attempted to make in her comment, (1) The men of MIAKA and Black gay men are wrongfully subjecting other young men to the "gay lifestyle". (2) Being gay is wrong. (3) We are all flaming men who don't like women but insist on mocking them.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, as a Black gay man I do not condone the actions of this group but this is NOT A GAY ISSUE and should not be argued as such, it is an issue of theft, unfortunately by men who happen to be homosexuals. Both sides can debate all day long the right and wrong of homosexuality, but at the end of the day nothing will be accomplished especially if biblical interpretation of scripture is apart of the dialogue. The thing that is so dangerous about this group is not that they have a desire to form an organization after a sorority that they obviously admire, it's that they give homophobes amunition to berate gay men of color.

The men of MIAKA do not represent every Black man who identifies as gay. It is not the goal of many in our community to steal the colors and traditions of Black sororities, truth be told we've been apart of the historically homophobic heterosexual fraternities for years and have even created our own inclusive organizations. We are not all flaming men and it baffles me that a few pictures of MIAKA and countless stereotypical images of gay men in the media would lead one to believe that we are all the same. We are quick to reject this belief about the Black race as a whole but it seems very convenient for those who sit in judgement of gays to accept this ridiculous ideal.

Contrary to popular opinion there are Black gay men who are living their lives honestly, who have families, who believe in God, and who hold Black women in the highest regard. I disagree with the belief that a man can only be considered a "real man" if there is a woman around and he's produced offspring to prove his manhood. It's time we redefine the qualifications needed to wear that badge of honor.

I'm extremely dissapointed in the men who are causing this scandal for not speaking up and defending their actions. Once again the media and straight folks are painting an inaccurate picture of who they think we are and MIAKA is sitting in silence. I challenge these brothas to show a real act of courage and step up and intelligently tell their side of the story, otherwise they'll be more hostility and more embarrassing new stories like the one below.

Labels: People

Warning: I'm about to blow off some steam. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, the NAACP gives Isaiah Washington an Image Award . This is the same organization that was silent during the murder of Michael Sandy and the recent homophobic remarks made by Tim Hardaway.

The same organization who's validity in 2007 is repeatedly in question, and after a national scandal involving the Grey's Anatomy actor they've taken it upon themselves to award a bigot...I mean my brother...I mean a successful rehab patient who's been "cured" of his homophobia .

What kind of message is the NAACP sending? I think it's obvious that they could care less about the lives of Black gay and lesbian people since they've stood silently as our character, our lives, and our inherent right to be visible within the Black community has come under attack.

Do they really expect us to believe that Isaiah Washington's performance was far superior than the other nominees? Has anyone been able to focus on Isaiah the actor lately or just his off-screen antics? The talents of Jesse L. Martin or Hill Harper alone provided an alternative to awarding Isaiah Washington with an Image Award, emphasis on the word "IMAGE".

When my blackness is being discriminated against you can guarantee the NAACP will be there, but when my gayness is discriminated against the very same organization looks in the other direction. No matter what part of my identity faces discrimination it is still wrong, and it hurts me as a human being, not just the Black part of me or the gay part, but me as a whole person.

Isaiah's words not only hurt T.R. Knight and created an uncomfortable environment for his co-workers to work, but they ricocheted all over the world and contributed to an already hostile environment for gays and lesbians in America.

And to top it all off in his acceptance speech he thanks, guess who? Jasmyne Cannick . I will stop there.

Labels: People

John Amaechi graces the cover of the new March issue of The Advocate magazine. Inside John responds to the coaches and players in the NBA who dismissed his decision to come out after retirement.

I just wrote about John a few days ago after his appearance in Atlanta in support of his memoir Man In The Middle, so I won't repeat a lot of info that you've either read here or in the dozens of publications running his story. I will however give you a bit of new information regarding this incredible man. He's officially the new loldarian.com celebrity crush!

Tall, handsome, articulate, and out ! Sign me up!

Labels: Coming Out, People