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7 comments | Tuesday, March 27, 2007

It's a choice. That statement always baffles me when it's being hurled at the gay community from the religious right and those who oppose homosexuality. I cannot recall the day nor the hour when I looked in the mirror and decided to become a card carrying homosexual, aka public enemy number one. Nor have I come across a heterosexual who could tell me the very moment they decided that they wanted to couple up with someone of the opposite sex. It just doesn't happen that way.

I believe that sexual orientation is an intrinsic part of a person's DNA, besides who in their right mind would choose to be gay when they have to endure such great hardships.

A recent article in The Washington Post talks about how science may soon prove that a biological basis for sexual orientation exists. To be blunt, the religious right is not happy about this possibility. This new research will force them to rethink their opposition of homosexuality and the scriptures they've used for years to oppress GLBT people.

I identify as a Christian, but I have to be honest and say that the behavior that is exemplified by many "so called Christians" in this country makes my stomach turn.

So imagine that science proves that you and I were born with a "gay gene" and what we've known all along is proven to be true. What is a same gender loving person to do and what will society and the church expect of him? To be celibate of course.

Homosexuality in itself would not be considered a sin, but to "act" (because you know that's the one thing straight people fear the most, what Tim and Tony are doing when they're in bed) on it would be. This is a ridiculous double standard that makes me laugh and pisses me off at the same time. It would be acceptable for heterosexuals to freely express their God-given sexuality, but it would be a sin for the homosexual to do the same.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't allow sex to have control over my life. I'm sure if I wanted to choose a life of celibacy I could, but I don't. And I don't think because I didn't get the "straight bug" from inception, I should be left out of one of the most beautiful experiences you can share with someone you love. No thank you! Please come with another argument because that one is tired!

I just refuse to believe that God is a viscious, mean -spirited, homophobic, bigot. If that's what's waiting for me on the other side I shouldn't have any problem adjusting, I'm dealing with that here on earth.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I am really glad you touched base on this!

I went to church a couple of days ago, and they was talking about how homosexuality shouldn't be excluded to having there own rights & laws, and why do they need there own highschool, and that we shouldn't condone there "choice." I was so about to leave, but I was like, I can't run away everytime I don't agree with something. I was there to support Fuzzy in the choir, and that's it. I did leave early though. It saddened that people were just agreeing with this guy had to say! sigh. This is our culture. But what really lifted me up the other day was that Patti Labelle was on the radio promoting her new Gospel Album. She was stating that she was being honored by GLAAD, and how she will always support her gay & lesbian fans and friends because its not a choice for most of them, and she doesn't like when people beat up on the little guy, lol.
So I'm happy that somebody understands and somebody gets it, so that gives me a little hope that one day we will be accepted into society they way we should be.

March 28, 2007 10:29 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Well, why do "gays" need their own high school? Why do "gays" need special law provisions? Why do "gays" need special housing? Why do "gays" need special care facilities, clinics, etc?

As much as "gays" wish to be apart of society, you are pushing further away. Therefore, the dissonace continue. Everything "gays" advocate for by claiming they don't have "rights" is so untrue. "Gays" have the right to marry, live anywhere they like, obtain education anywhere they like...as like any heterosexual, a gay person can do just the same.

Yet, the "gays" are crying wolf!

March 28, 2007 5:43 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


Do I agree with the Captain? Who is the Captain. I must admit, it's not until I log onto your site or one like it. Or talk to a gay activist that I realize that as a gay man I am in the minority, and how the religeous right feels. I live in an apartment building where the property manager is gay, and where I assume there are other gay neighbors. I guess I could go to "other parts of town" and complain about fair housing, and discrimination, then turn around, and demand special and fair housing, but there is plenty of gay friendly housing here in down and midtown.Yes, thank you for reminding me about the churches full of ignorant ass people who think my hardship is a choice because I forgot, due to the fact that I just stop going to those churches. Hell my mother told me that I wasn't going to be blessed by GOD until I started to go to church again. I digress. Point is I spend to much time in my little bubble of dilusion, and I tend to forget about all the ignorance that swarms about. Thats a good thing though. Rather than trying to change people into understanding and feeling as I do, I am just going to continue to create the world as I see it to be. Fuck all the rest! Their just doing what they are suppose to be doing. Providing balance in the universe.

March 28, 2007 11:44 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Hey Daryl
I LIKE your site. I'm accessing the sites of as many LGBT folk of color as I can. Just to check in, see how you're doing.
I'm a former dancer myself. Just semi retired recently, but I might get back into it.
I have lupus and it's been trying to kill me for the last five years, but I'm still here!
So it seems the universe is trying to tell me to concentrate on the writing I do. Finish the writing projects I started. I was born to write as much as dance.
But to get to the point. I've learned that I have a big mouth and know how to use it in defense of my gay family.
It's not about blood relatives, it's about our blood relation as human beings. The het/gay thing is symbiotic, for sure.
Which is why, it boggles my MIND and infuriates me, when I keep hearing ignorant straight folks CONINUE to argue with gay people about whether it's a choice or not. Or continue to use the words 'lifestyle' to describe being gay.

Straight folks just CAN'T get over it that they are the superior beings they wish they were, nor are gay folks inferior to them in ways they wish they were.

How strange that a straight person would bald faced TELL a gay person that being gay is a choice.
As IF!
Why can't a man argue with a woman that he knows what childbearing and birth is like. OR a menstrual period? Right?
Why can't a white person argue with a black, that THEY know what racism feels like?

So it's REALLY stupid that straight people don't believe what gay folks have to say about it, and those who claim the Bible has given them some moral clarity, but show their moral blindness when they make a moral equivalence to homosexuality and murder, theft and substance addiction.

If they can't know that how one human being TREATS another is what determines moral values and clarity, then they should shut up!
One could, with virtually absolute legitimacy conflate how gay people have been treated in institutional homophobia with segregationist institutions.
Indeed, it wasn't color that Jim Crow was organized around. Color was a means of achieving segregation, but the real reason was white paranoia regarding black SEXUALITY.
White gave black sex the same beastlike, aggressive and evil characteristics they give gay sexuality.
So now, straight people are enabled and emboldened to profligate the same myths and misinformation. And they imbue themselves with some special knowlege and intimacy with gay motives and ability, while they know few gay people other than who validates their stereotypes.
Same as segregationists, reported what they thought of blacks, while knowing any on the terms required to know.

The most anti gay are finding that their information isn't squaring with reality.
But it's amazing how many straight people make lame attempts to explain their beliefs, who are running for President.
Some don't bother to address what's the most pressing gay life right now.
When John Kerry was asked about whether he thought being gay was a choice, I was embarrassed at his answer.
And outraged at Lynn Cheney's upbraiding of him, yet she said nothing to Alan Keyes (or James Dobson) who vilified her daughter by name.
Were I John Kerry, here's what MY answer would have been.

"Why are you asking me, a heterosexual man? When at the same time, you're ignoring the MILLIONS of gay men and women who say it definitely is NOT a choice? I am not the one to question, nor is any heterosexual person in a position to deny that what gay people say isn't true."

I would take it further Daryl, and dare those homophobes to decide, since they cannot AVOID the possibility that a child in THEIR family could be gay, what world would they prefer for them?
The world that is accepting and brings out their talent and compassion to share with the world?
Or a world that CONTINUES to threaten them so that they can't finish school or they could end up tied to a fence with their heads bashed in like Matt Shepard?
THEY are the ones who could choose. And the choice is MUCH easier for them.
They should look around, homosexuality is UNIVERSAL and indigenous to ALL human (and some animal life).
So it CAN'T be a lifestyle whatsoever.
And it's perfectly natural since it doesn't matter what your family structure or culture is.
So what straight people's responsibility is this: THEY can choose. To live with being lied to, in denial or deluded so that it blows up in everyone's face in the worst way.
Or face facts that gays and lesbians ARE not and have NEVER been the reprobates they have been taught, and be fucking HAPPY about it!
And move onto more pressing issues, oh like GANG VIOLENCE and the drug infusion that fuels it.
After all, it's not gangs of gay kids running about America's streets and shooting their children down in them.
This you heard from a straight black woman that won't stop at simply having gay friends who are loved and cherished.
I'll call every damn homobigot on their bullshit the way I'd call a racist on theirs.
End of sermon!
Be well, be loved brother.
Stay in touch!

March 29, 2007 2:41 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

In reference to the captain's comment.

These high schools are created because they are safe havens for gay people who continue to be taunted & subject to violence. All they want is an education without having to worry about being bullied or killed!

Nobody is crying wolf!

I went to a regular highschool, may have got bullied for other things, but I made it through ok.
But at least there was a choice!

The law provisions is not to gain our rights, but protect our rights!

Sometimes I feel one day, some straight guys are going to push a gay brother, and a gay brother is going to push back even harder... lets hope it doesn't come to that!

March 30, 2007 10:58 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

If certain addictions were considered genetic would you encourage someone to pursue it becasue it's biological? No way. If someone feels they are biolgically drawn to sex with children, and there are many, don't we say you need to fight that compulsion with everything you've got? Here's my point: Whether or not there is a genetic component to a behavior we still evaluate whether that behavior is moral. If it is, then, great. If not, then, a person must fight it. But just becasue something is genetically determined doesn't make it right.

D Man

April 02, 2007 12:14 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

"But just becasue something is genetically determined doesn't make it right."

Missing the point. We are talking about sexual orientation being genetically determined. Being gay is not an addiction. Being gay has nothing to do with being a pedophile. These comparisons are irrelevant.

The point of the article is that being gay is genetically determined, and not a choice, as many straight people seem to think. Gay people do not choose to be gay, just as straight people do not choose to be straight.

May 04, 2009 3:37 PM


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