You may recall reading a post about a self-proclaimed "ex homosexual" woman named Larell on this blog towards the end of last year. Well she's back, and this time she has reinforcement.
Larell and members of The Passion 4 Christ Movement are out to turn all of us hell bound homosexuals from our wicked ways and they're utilizing their own clothing line, videos, and emotionally gripping testimonies that are sure to set all "homosexual offenders" on the straight and narrow path(pun intended).
But not only are they "winning souls for Christ" by converting homosexuals back to their "God-ordained nature"; they're coming after you bisexuals, habitual masturbators, and Tiger Tyson fans.
Why? Because you're broken, you've been molested, possessed by a demonic spirit, and somewhere deep inside you're crying out to be free from sin, but your sinful lifestyle is all you've ever known and you need help.
All this time the debate over whether homosexuality occurs by nature or nurture and Larell and The Passion 4 Christ Movement had the definitive answer. I bet you want to know the answer. It's a CHOICE! And you perverted homosexuals choose to feed that lust within yourself!
If Larell and the gang can come out of that sinful "lifestyle" then by golly you and I can too! And I'm gonna tell you exactly what we need to do. It's time I share everything I've learned over the years from Larell, Donnie, Charlene, DL, hundreds of church queens, closeted ministers, and creepy politicians.
1) Learn to hate yourself just a little bit more.
2) Embrace Bishop so and so's theology and reject any impulse to study the word yourself. Heaven forbid you discover something in the Good Book that affirms who you are.
3. Admit to being molested even if you weren't. It sounds believable and most Christians will eat that right up. Need help...e-mail Donnie McClurkin.
4. Go to church on Sunday and give a testimony that will bring the congregation to it's feet! Make sure to tell them how you've been healed of your same sex attraction(while secretly wondering when your opposite sex attraction is gonna kick in).
5.Show the world how the Bible can be the greatest weapon ever as you relentlessly beat down others in the name of God to hide your own shortcomings. It cuts like a knife but isn't nearly as messy.
And if rules 1-5 don't work, then you'll have no choice but to choose "opposite marriage" as a sure fire cure.Don't worry, that whole "down low" thing is just a myth.
You can do it! I have faith in you. The video below set me on my journey to discovering my authentic self. I highly recommend that you watch at least the first 10 minutes to understand where Larell and my new friends are coming from. Gotta run for the weekend, my boyfriend and I have plans...he's taking me to Maine!