Living Out Loud with Darian

Noah's Arc actor Doug Spearman and Samuel L. Jackson are lending their voices in two new PSA's targeting the discriminatory Proposition 8 in California. With only four more days until voters head to the polls both sides have taken to the airwaves to persuade voters to vote for or against the proposition.

The latest field poll released this morning shows that the ad campaigns released by No on 8 have reversed the deficit in the polls and we now have a narrow lead with 49% indicating they plan to vote no and 44% indicating they plan to vote yes.

The presence of Doug Spearman and Samuel L. Jackson for No on 8 is quite significant and will hopefully influence other black voters to vote no on November 4.

If you live in California please talk to your friends and family about voting No On Prop 8. It's divisive and discriminatory. We should want to live in a country where we are all truly treated equally. Let's do the right thing and vote No On Prop 8.

Many thanks to Doug Spearman for being a face rarely seen on this issue.

Donate to No On 8 here

In the third of installment of "Someone You Should Know" we're taking a look at the ministry of Rev. Dennis Meredith.


When Rev. Dennis Meredith of Tabernacle Baptist Church in Atlanta began preaching acceptance of gay men and lesbians a few years ago, he attracted some gay people who were on the brink of suicide and some who had left the Baptist faith of their childhoods but wanted badly to return.


A compelling orator with the voice and showmanship of a stadium-rock star, Mr. Meredith quickly began to draw more new members. He preached against homosexuality. Then, five years ago, his middle son, Micah, told him that he is gay. Mr. Meredith and his wife began to read liberal theologians like Mr. Gomes and to look at Scripture again. What matters most in the Bible, Mr. Meredith said, was Jesus’ injunction to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself, and that includes gay men and lesbians. -Source


Take a look inside of Rev. Meredith's ministry below courtesy of CNN.




In Case You Missed It:


Someone You Should Know: Charles Pugh


Someone You Should Know: Nadine Smith

Hate on me, hater


Now or later


'Cuz I'm gonna do me


You'll be mad, baby


Go 'head and hate on me, hater


'Cuz I'm not afraid of it


What I got I paid for


You can hate on me


You cannot hate on me


'Cuz my mind is free


Feel my destiny


So shall it be



I guess I'm doing something right. I won't start to worry until you stop talking about me. I promise. Many thanks to all of you who support this site including the haters. Here's something else you can add to the list below courtesy of MTV. Who does he think he is Clay Cane or Rod 2.0? C'mon you know my name.

I'll be taking an additional day off from blogging as I recuperate from an amazing weekend in New York City. The black gay dollar was in full effect as our community came out in full support of Noah's Arc in five cities across the country.

Arc" grossed $161,302, averaging an astounding $32,260. The film opened in New York (Chelsea), Los Angeles (Sunset 5), Chicago (Century Centre Cinema), Atlanta (Landmark Midtown), and Washington, DC (E Street Cinema). Not only was its average among the best of 2008 (it's just a few $100 behind "Rachel Getting Married"'s fall season benchmark average earlier this mont h), it also is already 2008's highest grossing narrative gay film (beating Regent Releasing's "Shelter," which grossed $142,666 in March), according to Yahoo! Movie News.

Many thanks to all of you who have written me to share your experience(my Blackberry was going off constantly as I was watching the film on Saturday) and to those of you who traveled from far away to witness this amazing moment for our community.

It was a pleasure reuniting with old friends and meeting new ones in New York. Enjoy the pics from my weekend at the movies above and a special video from loldarian.com affiliate Lonnell Williams on location in Chicago below. Be back tomorrow!

Jensen Atwood and Darryl Stephens stars of Noah's Arc: Jumping The Broom which opens today in select theaters are on the cover of the new issue of David Atlanta Magazine. Ryan Lee interviews the two budding stars about life before Noah's Arc, their newfound fame, and the responsibility they feel to be positive role models for the community.


Screenings in Atlanta, New York, and D.C. are already sold out! Congrats to Patrik-Ian Polk and the cast.


If you're going to see the film over the weekend I would love to hear your thoughts. I also hope to run into many of you tomorrow night in New York.


Feel free to e-mail reviews and/or pictures to darianoutloud@mac.com


If you haven't noticed by now I fully support this project and to those of you who don't and take issue with my coverage of the film I only have a small piece of advice-write your own blog! The banner at the top says "Living Out Loud with Darian".


Have a safe and fun-filled Noah's Arc weekend!

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.


Let's defeat Prop 8 in California.


Let's defeat Prop 102 in Arizona.


Let's defeat Amendment 2 in Florida.


This is the civil rights movement of our time.


You may not see these images apart of any of the campaigns, but the fight in these three states that will eventually spread across the nation is about us too.


Whether you want to get married today, tomorrow, or never you should have the right as a tax paying citizen to do so. Separate is not equal.


Get involved and donate by clicking on the links above.





In Case You Missed It:


Tips For A Happy Life Long Same-Sex Marriage


Gay Marriage. Do We Care?


Tell Me Again Why I Can't Get Married...In English


Meet The Fosters

I decided to dig deep into the archives for this post since Prop 8 in California has been weighing heavily on my mind as well as the repulsive effort by the opposition to involve children in the campaign in order to scare voters into passing the amendment.This was originally published in September of 2006 and I thought it would be appropriate to share again for those who missed it.





Recently I've been getting a lot of e-mail from readers, which is a testament to the growing popularity of my blog and my
myspace page.


This particular e-mail was sent to me on myspace from a guy named Derrick who had an issue with a picture I posted on my myspace page of a man holding a child with the words,"Would you stop loving him if you know he's gay"? I've cut and pasted his e-mail and my response below for you to read.


I LIKE YUR PAGE..
ALL BUT THE GAY MAN HOLDING THE BABYY.....
WHAT? NO U DONT HATE HIM IF HE IS GAY.
BUT YOU ALSO EXSPLAIN TO HIM REALITY. "I CANT CONTINUE YOUR LIFE LINE WITH MY LIFESTYLE"...
HE WAS BIRTH BY A WOMAN......HAY DARIAN, CAN
YOU EXSPLAIN POPULATION GROWHT OR DECLINE IN
RESPECT TO GAY AMERICA...I DONT SEE A FUTURE WITH OUT REPRODUCTION. OR DO YOU SEX A WOMAN JUST FOR THE SOUL PURPOSE OF REPRODUCTION AND THEN CONTINUE UR LIFESTYLE....NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE, BUT JUST FOR REAL THINK ABOUT IT. LETS PLEASE STAY IN REALITY.......DO U THINK GAY AMERICA IS PUSHING THERE ISSUES TO FAR.
MEANING WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO COMMERCIAL.


. PS. JUST BECAUSE WE COME TO TERMS WITH SITUATIONS DOES NOT VALIDATE THE ISSUES. SOME THINGS ARE OUT OF BOUNDS. NO? YES.....PSS.. AS FOR MR. DONNIE.. I THINK EVENTUALLY HE WILL COME OUT OF THE CLOSEST ALL THE WAY... BUT PREPARE FOR GRAVE REPORCUCIONS.....HIS SPIRIT AND FLESH ARE HONESTLY AT WAR. I ALSO THINK HUMAN BEINGS ARE VERY VERY WEAK, THUS GETTING FIMININITY AND GAYNESS CONFUSSED. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GAY BECAUSE SOCIETY DEEMS YOU THAT BY APPEARANCE. LOTS OF GAY AMERICA WANT TO BLAME THE D.L AND GAYNESS ON SOCIETY, THEY SAY THERE COMFORT DEPENDS ON PEOPLE SUPPORTING. NO NO NO... SPIRIT IS REAL. ITS NOT COMFORTABLE, BUT THE FLESH GIVES A DAMN.......THATS THE REAL BATTLE...WE KNOW WHATS REALLY GOOD FOR OUR LIVES, BUT WE ALWAYS FIND VALIDATIONS AND RUN WITH THE ONE THAT CARRIES MORE EMOTION.EMOTIONS. I, U, WE LIE TO OUR SOULS ALL THE TIME AND EVERYDAY..


THE SPIRIT IS HARD, THE FLESH IS SO EASY...DO WHAT U DO. TELL ME IF IM OUT OF LINE, I THEN DIGRESS.......HOW MANY MEN DO YOU KNOW HAVE THIS BATTLE WITH SEXUALITY? LOTS.... WHY? BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY THEY STILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIMSELVES..... MY BRO. IS GAY, I WORK IN THE INDUSTRY, SO IM IN THE WORLD, IM NOT JUST SPITTIN FOR CONFLICT....I LOVE ALL MY BROTHERS.....YOU SEEM LIKE REAL COOL PEOPLE .........GOD BLESS.......


My Response:
Derrick my brotha,
Before I begin to respond to your e-mail I want to thank you for being bold enough to speak with honesty, however misguided and uninformed I think some of your opinions are you spoke with conviction.


Your e-mail was sparked by a picture of a black man holding a child with the words"Would you stop loving him if you know he's gay"? You along with many other straight people seem to use children and reproductive issues as a way to demonize gays and lesbians. Have you forgotten that gays come from families and we have families of our own? The traditional family is not a reality for a lot of people in this country. We have single moms and dads as well as gays and lesbians raising children all over this country.


I know a mom and dad with 2 kids, a dog, a house on the hill, and a white picket fence is ideal in George Bush's world, but that only exists in the sitcoms of the 50's, it's 2006 and the word family encompasses a broad spectrum.


What about the married woman who can't reproduce?
Is she then shunned and considered less than, is her marriage and the love she has for husband null and void because she's unable to naturally reproduce?


You repeatedly spoke of "living in reality". Whose reality are you referring to? Your reality is not my reality or the reality of many of my other gay and lesbian brothas and sistas.


I'm extremely comfortable in my skin, and no it did not happen overnight, but I know who I am and I choose to live my life authentically.


As a dancer yourself I'm sure you've been exposed to gay men, have you once sat down and had a real conversation with them and asked to hear their stories?


So often people speak on issues they know absolutely nothing about. It's so easy to rush to judgement and stand behind religion to validate personal ignorance, hate, and homophobia.


Do I think the gay community is pushing their issues to far? Do you think our people pushed the right to vote too far, the right to enter through the front and not the back too far, to stand up and let the world know they were not going to be oppressed any longer,was that too far? The majority should never determine the rights of a minority, if that was the case we as African-Americans would not enjoy some of the benefits we have today.


If I could eradicate one word from your vocabulary it would be "lifestyle". My sexuality is not a lifestyle, it's a small but important part of who makes up the complete person that I am. That word has such a negative connotation, contrary to public opinion all gay men are not jumping from bed to bed having anonymous sex. I need you to stop perpetuating stereotypes and start "living in reality".


What is out of bounds is the idea that everyone's sexual orientation should be the same and if it isn't they should be ostracized, bashed, denied rights, and religiously raped to top it all off.


My prayer for you is that you step outside of all of the ridiculous rhetoric you've been fed for years and take the steps to respect and appreciate the differences in people, God's people.


Your black gay brotha,
Darian

Mississippi Department of Health doesn't apply for MSM funding; advocates say final straw -Housing Works





Mississippi AIDS advocates are outraged by revelations that State AIDS Director Craig Thompson knew about and failed to apply for CDC funding for HIV prevention for men who have sex with men (MSM). “It wasn’t applicable to us,” Thompson said at a Mississippi Prevention Planning Group for HIV Prevention meeting last Friday, which was tape-recorded by PPG member Mark Colomb(pictured above).


Valencia Robinson, field organizer of AIDS Action in Mississippi said that in a phone conversation with Thompson,Thompson said the reason Mississippi didn’t apply for the funding is because state legislators don’t care about gay men. “That’s homophobic,” Robinson said. “You can’t address the epidemic if you’re not addressing the people most affected by it.”


Listen to the audio here. Thompson's words are beyond shocking.


Prop. 8 rivals seek support in black churches -San Francisco Chronicle





At rallies Tuesday in Oakland, black clergy with the rival campaigns presented completely contradictory statements. A gay black minister spoke at Oakland City Hall about preserving the right to marry. At a rally in the Fruitvale district, another black minister said gay black people don't want to get married anyway.


"I am not trying to rail against gay people; we have gay people in our music department," Ray Williams, pastor of the First Morning Star Baptist Church in Oakland, said at the pro-Prop. 8 rally. "When you look at the people getting married in San Francisco, you didn't see very many blacks. It's not a distinct issue in the black community."


Mary J. Blige and Melissa Etheridge Raise $3.9 million for No on Prop 8 -Rod 2.0





Hip hop legend Mary J. Blige headlined a fundraiser with Melissa Etheridge that raised some $3.9 million for NoOnProp8 to mount "new and hard-hitting" television spots in the final weeks of The campaign. Last night's event was held at the Beverly Hills home of billionaire Democrat and supermarket magnet Ron Burkle.


Blige—an outspoken gay rights supporter—was "actually at the end of her tour and made a special effort" to attend the fundraiser. Other prominent guests included San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, Rob & Michele Reiner, actor David Hyde Pierce, and, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, who updated the outreach efforts to the Latino community.


"Noah's Arc" Actor Doug Spearman, Black Ministers Urge "NO" on Prop 8 -Rod 2.0





Doug Spearman, the handsome openly gay co-star of Noah's Arc and the upcoming feature film Noah's Arc Jumping the Broom, headlines a news conference with several Los Angeles ministers to urge the black community to vote NO on California's toxic Proposition 8.


Spearman, who is on the board of Equality California and the No on Prop 8 campaign says, "When the Supreme Court authored its opinion, it effectively wiped away not just discrimination against gays and lesbians. They wiped away discrimination in the state of California in a way that had never been addressed before. They did a brave and beautiful thing."


Republicans Against 8's new ad -"It's Backwards" -Pam's House Blend





Would you run backwards? Would you bike backwards? Then why take California backwards?
That's what Republicans Against 8 is asking California voters in its latest online ad, "Backwards," released yesterday.


"Backwards" urges voters from across the political spectrum to protect the California Dream for all families by voting No on Proposition 8-"It's unfair. It's unnecessary. It's Backwards.


A Full House -Bejata






Father, mother, children. The image of the perfect nuclear family. But images can be misleading.


Sometimes they are just an illusion, a complete fabrication designed to simulate the real thing. That is the primary purpose of the drag ball community, where young gay men, from different “houses”, walk the runway in competition with one another, in a range of various feminine and masculine guises through categories of simulated “realness.”


It is also the central premise behind Wig Out!, an engaging new Off Broadway play now showing at The Vineyard Theatre in New York.


Wig Out! tells the story of two rival houses on the eve of a ball and the interwoven lives of the people who inhabit them. These are houses less in the physical sense but more spaces where a house mother, father and “the children” gather to plan their ball performances, while doling out love, discipline, mutual support and more than a little “shade” and manipulation.


Watch the trailer here.

If recent polls regarding Prop 8, the proposed same-sex marriage ban in California are any indication of what the world will be like for thousands of gay couples married over the past 5 months since gay marriage became legal in the Golden State, the equal rights they now enjoy will be a fond memory as the majority will have voted to strip them away.


Early polls showed the majority of Californians were in strong opposition of the discriminatory ban before supporters ramped up their efforts and increased fundraising to spread lies and mislead the public about the facts regarding same -sex marriage via television and print ads.


Now with less than 2 weeks to go before voters head to the polls to decide the fate of marriage equality the gay community at large is looking for someone to blame in the event that Prop 8 passes and the blame is landing right at the footsteps of black California voters.


A recent study conducted by USA Survey concluded that 58% of black voters were in favor of the ban and were likely to vote accordingly.


Should we be surprised that black voters are in favor of denying another minority one of the basic civil rights extended to heterosexual couples despite facing a long history of opression themselves? No.


Should we be surprised that many in the black community don't see this issue for what it is, an attempt to eliminate the right for same-sex couples to have their relationships recognized by the state, protect their partners legally, provide for their families, and live with the same amount of dignity and respect bestowed upon opposite-sex couples? No. But it should make you mad as hell!


Contrary to what supporters of Prop 8 are telling voters, the right for gays and lesbians to get married is not about indoctrinating children or ruining the "sanctity" of marriage, the latter has been achieved solely on the efforts of heterosexuals alone. This is a civil rights issue and should have been framed as such, especially given the fact that those working on the ground in California knew early on that black voters could potentially play a role in deciding whether or not marriage equality would remain a reality for gays and lesbians.


So why was their no effort made by the organizations working to defeat Prop 8 to align with The National Black Justice Coalition or other black gay organizations around the state to educate black voters? White gay organizations have proven time after time that they either don't know how to communicate with African-Americans on gay issues or they simply choose not to and this time it could cost us all. Only now that it looks like Prop 8 will pass are blacks of concern and it's only to have someone to blame when we should have been apart of the strategy from day one.


There are thousands of black gay and lesbian couples throughout the state, supportive clergy, and straight allies that could have been included in this campaign that were completely left out and could have done the necessary outreach into the black community to educate voters about the truth of this amendment.


African-Americans understand what it feels like to not have a place at the table, to jump the broom versus having legal recognition of their marriages, to enter through the back door versus the front, to be denied access to the American dream based on an inherent trait that is unchangeable. Civil rights and the lack thereof is something we understand and are sympathetic to.


It's not acceptable to continue to portray the fight for marriage equality or the beneficiaries as white gay men and women just as it's not acceptable for some black gays and lesbians to act as if this issue is not important to US or about US.


So before all of the "homophobic blacks" are blamed for the passage of Prop 8 asks yourselves if the outcome might have been different if we truly lived the mantra of diversity and inclusion that we so often boldly proclaim.


My prayer is that on November 4th California voters will overwhelmingly reject Prop 8, but if they don't then don't blame blacks. Blame the crazy notion that homophobia and bigotry only affects people in red states and follows them into the voting booth.

"Some gay men feel somewhat bad that they are gay because of how it impacts women. However, most gay men don't think twice about how their "gayness" affects women, nor are they moved by the women who wink at them or try to "convert them", nor do they care that they are a statistic that makes, "all good men are either married, gay or in jail" a valid statement.

The above statement is taken from a book written by a relatively new black female author who sent me a copy of her book to review and promote on this site. The name of the book and the author will remain unnamed for now. However, I felt compelled to address the content within as I discovered some of it to be misinformed and rooted in stereotypes.

I'm aware that I have a strong female readership and many times you ladies don't comment but choose to e-mail me instead. Well today I'm opening up this post specifically to you.

A few questions

1)What do you really think when you see a black gay man?

2) Have you ever thought to yourself,"What A Waste" and meant it?

3)If you're single have you found yourself blaming the lack of eligible black men on "the gay epidemic".

4)Have you dated or married a gay man with hopes of converting him?

To my brothers- Should we care what they think?

Alright everybody try not to jump in all at once. This is my first open thread so don't let me down.

October 24th and the premiere of Noah's Arc:Jumping The Broom is now only days away. Fans and haters alike(and there's plenty of haters) will finally have the opportunity to see what Patrik-Ian Polk and the boys have created as the short-lived series transitions to the big screen.


Much of "Noah's Arc" the movie feels like an anticipation of the many aspects of the black gay experience that viewers are starving to see, says Ryan Lee senior reporter of Southern Voice.


The word "groundbreaking" is thrown around quite a bit when referring to Noah's Arc, and in a film where all of the major characters are black, gay, well adjusted, and exploring same-sex marriage the term is indeed appropriate.


LOGO may see Jumping The Broom as the end of Noah's Arc but I anticipate the film will only increase the fans hunger for more as well as the cast.


"I think this series has a lot more to say, and a lot more things to go through," Stephens says. "I think the movie is a great period on the series, but I feel like we had so many other stories to tell, and it's a shame the series was cut short."


I had the pleasure of attending an advance screening of Jumping The Broom at the end of September. If you missed my review you can read it here.


Noah's Arc opens in select theaters in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Atlanta, and Washington D.C. this Friday.


D.C. moviegoers will have an opportunity to attend a private screening presented by The National Black Justice Coalition, GLAAD and DC Black Pride on October 24th with an appearance by writer/director Patrik-Ian Polk and "special guests" including a Q&A session.


For more info click here.


I'll be supporting the film on Friday night in Atlanta and on Saturday night in New York. Hope to see you there!








In related news Instinct Magazine has just released behind the scenes footage from Darryl Stephens' October cover. You may remember reading about the amazing issue featuring Darryl here on this site last month and learning about his thoughts on being black and openly gay in Hollywood as well as his reaction to his critics.





Catch a glimpse of what happened during the photo shoot in the video below.

What a way to start your week, right? You may remember this ex-American Idol semi-finalist and Fuse TV host appearing on this site late last week as one of six men of color listed on Cosmo's Hot Bachelors of 2008. Jared Cotter is quickly becoming an loldarian.com favorite and his management has released three photos from his upcoming 2009 calendar exclusively for loldarian.com readers.

Jared has kept himself busy post American Idol by proving that life goes on and is often sweeter for those contestants who don't win the crown by recording his debut album, hosting The Sauce- a daily variety show consisting of live performances and celebrity interviews on Fuse TV and shooting one of the hottest calendars I've seen since Jensen Atwood's.

Although Jared probably won't have a man crush any time soon we love that he's not afraid to embrace a gay audience.

You can order your copy of Jared's 2009 calendar here.

Many thanks to Tanya Brown

Rob Smith and Ramon Johnson hosts of the new online show for gay men of color The Mocha Lounge have returned with episode 2. This week the guys talk about the impressive Instinct cover featuring Darryl Stephens, the iconic Paris is Burning and alarming news from Korea and the CDC.


"This show is here because now is the time to make a more concentrated effort to diversify the images in the gay community," says creator and executive producer Rob Smith. "The Mocha Lounge will definitely bring something fresh and new into the conversation."


The Mocha Lounge will be broadcast bi-weekly on AfterElton.com and Downelink.com, both properties of the LOGOonline Network.


Hiding in Hip Hop author Terrance Dean and I Want to Work for Diddy star and first transwoman of color on reality television Laverne Cox are both scheduled to appear in the Fall '08 season.


The Mocha Lounge is a new loldarian.com favorite and is not to be missed. If you're new to the lounge you can check out the first episode here and the second episode below.

Okay so I promise this will be my last Janet post for a while. As you can tell this week was all about my girl Janet and her return to the stage after being ill for a couple of weeks. She rocked The Verizon Center in D.C. and myself along with fellow bloggers Lonnell Williams and Andre Allen captured all of the excitement on video. So this one is for all of you who wanted to be there but couldn't make it. A lot of hard work and multiple cups of coffee went into producing this video so enjoy!

Many thanks to Lonnel & Andre and all of the fans who participated. Get into the video below.

Cosmopolitan Magazine has just revealed their Hot Bachelors of 2008 from all 50 states and six of them happen to be men of color. All of the men who made the list are without a doubt strikingly beautiful and extremely "straight" according to their COSMO profiles, so slow down boys!


We'll just let the female readers of COSMO believe that if they want to. Get to know the six sexy bachelors below.





Name: Jared Cotter
Age: 27
Hometown: West Orange
Occupation: Fuse TV Host
In his own words: "I'm passionate, driven, and sensitive."
Ex-American Idol: "I love writing music and singing, and my talents got me on American Idol. I placed in the top 16 that season."
Favorite female body part: "Her skin. It's always soft and smooth."
His sweet spot: "My stomach. I love having it touched because it foreshadows things to come."
Underwear style: "Boxer-briefs"





Name: Corey Caldwell
Age: 23
Hometown: Chapel Hill
Occupation: Dental Student
His sweet spot: "My back"
Dating deal breaker: "When I make plans with a girl I'm seeing and she changes them suddenly"
Why do women... "Often not admit what's really on their mind? Alluding to an idea and hinting about it doesn't work!"





Name: Feyisayo Oshinkanlu
Age: 25
Hometown: West Warwick
Occupation: Pharmaceutical-Sales Representative
Ideal first date: "I don't care, as long as it ends with a kiss."
Make-him-melt move: "Touch my back. I love that!"
Dating deal breaker: "If she puts herself down or disrespects others"
Sex on a first date? "Skanky"



Name: Lavell Jackson
Age: 21
Hometown: Sioux Falls
Occupation: Student
His sweet spot: "My head. Lightly scratching my scalp and the back of my neck drives me crazy."
Fave female body part: "Her abs"
Taboo topic: "Please don't talk about your ex when you're out with me. Focus on getting to know me instead, rather than comparing me to your past dating situations."




Name: Greg Brown
Age: 31
Hometown: Detroit
Occupation: Technology Specialist
Favorite female body part: "The collarbone. It's elegant."
Lingerie he loves: "Boy shorts"



Name: Jhanelle Johnson-Castillo
Age: 23
Hometown: San Diego
Occupation: Special Investigator
Personality profile: "I'm compassionate, and I analyze everything."
Fave female body part: "Her lips"
His sweet spot: "My neck"
Can a hookup turn into a relationship? "No"
Underwear style: "I go commando!"


Thanks Bernie

Sleep deprived. Posting will resume later in the evening.

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to co-host a special event along with Atlanta activist and independent recording artist Anthony Antoine and The AIDS Research Consortium of Atlanta (ARCA). Brothers Loving Brothers: A Sexy Evening of Brotherhood, Testing, & Fun brought together a beautiful group of same gender loving black men to socialize, network, and raise awareness of the importance of being tested for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases.


The night consisted of an old school dating game with a twist, black gay films in the screening room, a personal masseuse, music and food catered by A Pound Of Cheese courtesy of owner Ruby Woodruff(404 392-7028) and free HIV & STD testing on-site by ARCA.


"In a community where men are often ostracized and often emotionally isolated, this mixer was a safe haven where everyone could interact freely. No club scene, no judgement, no 'shade'...just productive, beautiful 'brothas' doing their thing", said Lonnell Williams of the blog Livin' & Luvin' Life With Lonnell.


It was truly a special event and one that should be held up as a model to encourage brothers around the country to get serious about their sexual health in a non-judgemental and stress-free environment.


Who would have thought that getting tested could ever be sexy?


Check out a special video and pictures of the evening courtesy of my good friend and fellow blogger Lonnell Williams.


Many thanks to Anthony Antoine, the entire staff at ARCA, and all of the beautiful brothers and sisters in attendance who made the event a success.

The Connecticut Supreme Court has just ruled 4 to 3 that same-sex couples must have the freedom to marry. Connecticut is now the third U.S. state, after Massachusetts and California, to institute marriage equality.

In a 4-3 decision released this morning, the majority found in Kerrigan & Mock v. Dept. of Public Health that the state's "understanding of marriage must yield to a more contemporary appreciation of the rights entitled to constitutional protection."

View the pdf of the historic ruling here.

Let me apologize for being a little late on this post, but when you travel as much as I do you never know how slow the internet connection will be in any given hotel. And this past Monday it was hella slow.

Much of episode three of Shirts & Skins centered around the teams continued preparation for the Chicago Gay Games, however on this episode they were faced with a challenge from professional ABA team The Rumble. This game was a real test to see if the guys were prepared for the stiff competition they were sure to face in Chicago. Unfortunately, they lost not because of lack of skill but because they were not playing as a team.

Of course Jemel, one of the team's strongest players(along with Mike) and resident "clown"(and I mean that in a good way) chose to skip practice causing team morale to suffer and was benched throughout most of the game. Once again Jemel manages to shift the focus of another episode in his direction.




The good news is where episode three lacked in excitement and the inspiration that I personally look forward to seeing on Shirts and Skins, episode 4 definitely made up for it.

On episode 4 the team received a visit from the amazing openly lesbian WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes. After their disappointing performance against The Rumble the guys needed a morale boost and Sheryl "swooped" right in and provided some much needed encouragement.



In one of my favorite scenes Sheryl explains to the guys what it was like to come out while still playing professionally and the support she received from NBA stars Shaquille O'Neal and Vince Carter. Her only regret being that she didn't come out sooner. This especially hit home with Mike who has yet to come out to his family.



Meanwhile the date for their fashion show fundraiser was quickly approaching. As a team they decided to model aussieBum swim wear and let's just say the briefs were quite revealing. Who knew Jemel was packin like that in the back!



And Mike...Lawd have mercy!



And DeMarco...Take me higher Lord!



Yes sir! Episode 4 came together quite nicely for me and the fashion show turned out to be extremely successful, contrary to team manager Papa Joe's initial thoughts. Have you been following the show? What do you think about the series so far?

Watch full episodes of Shirts & Skins here.

Just In Case You Missed It: Shirts & Skins Recap & Review: Episode 2

Tomorrow October 11th is National Coming Out Day. Each year The Human Rights Campaign along with countless other LGBT organizations encourages those who are closeted to come out. But more importantly they're encouraging the people on the receivng end to be tolerant and accepting of those who choose to disclose such an important aspect of their lives. HRC has a special guide to coming out for African-Americans with tons of great information on their website along with a video message focused on the importance of this life changing decision.


Coming out can be difficult because once you say those two words(I'm gay) out loud you can't take it back. I came out at 16 and it was simultaneously one of the most liberating and one of the most emotionally draining moments in my life. Leading a double life and lying to the people I cared about was not an option for me. No matter what the consequences were I personally knew that my closet was a place for my clothes and not for me to hide. If I acted ashamed of who I was then society would feel validated in their mistreatment of me and others who love as I do. My advice is to come out in your own time when you know exactly who you are and you're prepared to deal with the potential rejection from family and friends.

Luckily, times have changed even since I came out in 1996 and people are more informed. However, it's always a good idea to have a support system of people you trust and can turn to if need be.


There are plenty of resources and people who can help you on your journey. I decided to dig way back into my archives and re-post the very first video blog that I ever made titled "Living Authentically". It was originally created for abovethelife.com, a social networking website for black LGBT folks that no longer exists. In this video I share my coming out story and the positive effect coming out has had on my life. Hopefully you'll be inspired and find the courage to live your life open and honestly if you're not doing so already.

Soulforce 2008 Equality Ride Lands at Liberty Univ, Morehouse College, & Spelman College





Every day, thousands of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people suffer harassment, violence, and discrimination at the hands of those who do not understand them. This oppression usually hides in plain sight, masquerading as rigid doctrine or timeless tradition. Consequently, it often goes unchallenged and unchanged.


The Equality Ride is a traveling forum that gives young adults the chance to deconstruct injustice and the rhetoric that sustains it. Check out news coverage of Equality Ride 08 on the campus of Jerry Falwell's Liberty University here.



Young, Black and Republican in New York, Blogging Against the Tide (NY Times)



The barbs have become like a soundtrack to Richard Ivory’s life: Uncle Tom, sellout, self-hater. Being black and Republican does indeed have its challenges — especially in New York. And even though the remarks sometimes wear on Mr. Ivory, they mostly seem to have emboldened him.


Mr. Ivory started a blog, HipHopRepublican.com, four years ago to voice criticism of what he perceived to be the political pigeonholing of blacks.


The blog is part of a small but vibrant collection of black Republican sites that have given right-leaning blacks a sense of community during an election in which Senator Barack Obama’s candidacy has made their political stance seem particularly unlikely.


Interview With “Project Runway”’s Jerell Scott (After Elton)




There's spoilers throughout this interview and because I'm a week behind on Project Runway I haven't read it. But I'm rooting for Korto. So if you love Runway as much as I do I'm sure you'll enjoy this interview with Jerell.


Clay Cane Interviews Jensen Atwood



Clay Cane chats with Jensen Atwood about his upcoming film Noah's Arc: Jumping The Broom, the Shemar Moore rumors, the cancellation of the series, and his male groupies.


Janet Resumes Rock Witchu Tour



Janet Jackson is returning to her “Rock Withchu Tour,” following an illness that put her on the sidelines. Promoters Live Nation confirmed to Access Hollywood that the superstar will return to her cross country trek beginning Saturday, October 11 in Uncasville, CT. New York has been rescheduled to Nov 1, Atlanta Oct. 19, Detroit Oct 28.



Atlanta Queer Literary Festival



The Atlanta Queer Literary Festival is this upcoming October 14th-19th in Atlanta. The festival features LGBTQ Poets, Writers, Musicians and Performers at various venues including Outwrite Books, Charis Books & More, and The Atlanta Central Library.


Artists scheduled to perform are Lakara Foster (of 89.3 WRFG She Speaks & Oprah Fame),Local Black Gay singer Ken J. Martin, Mark Doty (who recently had his book of poetry on the NY best seller list), Theresa Davis, Collin Kelley (Editor of Atlanta Intown Newspaper) Yolo Akili ( Poet, Author, Activist) and many more.


The festival was started in order to create a space to celebrate the work of LGBTQ writers and artists who may be under represented, and to help new burgeoning artists. Because often poetry open mics or other creative venues can be dangerous for LGBTQ people, we felt that creating a safe space was imperative!


Queen Latifah Continues To Deny What We Already Know



Will somebody please get the memo to Queen Latifah that tomorrow is National Coming Out Day and she should act accordingly. LOL! Just kidding. Hide in your closet as long as you want to Latifah. I wonder if it ever gets lonely in there? Read what Latifah said to the press over the weekend about her "ambiguous" sexuality by clicking the link above.