Living Out Loud with Darian

The above video footage was taken in Jamaica when an angry mob attacked a gay man dressed in drag in broad daylight. The homophobic climate in Jamaica is out of control ! No one should ever be subjected to violence based on their sexual orientation.This video was extremely difficult for me to watch. Allthough this type of behavior may be more prevalent in Jamaica, it happens right here in America too.

The victim in this video could have been you or me. Let's pray for a cultural change in Jamaica . And someone said the other day there was no need for a hate crimes bill, yeah right ! We should never have to lobby congress to ensure our safety, it should be a given.

Update: Youtube has since removed the video due to it's graphic nature, but you can view it here .

Labels: News

Dictionary.com refers to Transgender people as: a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, as a transsexual or habitual cross-dresser. While the definition is very broad, its meaning is very fascinating. I won't pretend to understand the Transgender or their struggle to be socially accepted. But after watching Barbara Walters 20/20 amazing special on the topic this past weekend, I have to admit that I received a fast tracks course on an issue that surprisingly amazed and intrigued me.

In this powerful and pioneering television special, Barbara spoke to a series of parents who have taken on the daunting task of raising transgender youth in today's rigid, and over-classifying society. In one segment I got the opportunity to hear Scott and Renee Jennings encouraging story - as they try to cope and understand one of the most hush-hush issues of our time—Gender Identity Disorder. As offensive as the term may be to some, that is how transgender people are classified in the medical profession.

Their youngest child- "Jazz" Jennings (pictured above) - is a booming bundle of joy whose parents adore her with all of their heart. (I will admit that little Jazz even melted my own heart.) Since the moment Jazz was born, particularly the moment she could speak, she was quite vocal in her opposition of being called a boy. Thinking it was just a faze Renee and Scott attempted to ignore it, but as Jazz got older her "disorder" became more and more prevalent. It was at that moment that Jazz's parents made the difficult decision to allow the youngest member of their family to be the person she felt she was—a girl.

While their story was very compelling, it forced me to face an undeniable revelation. Why does it seem that the gay community doesn't acknowledge or include Trangender men and women into their social circles? Has everyone become so self involved with their own sexual identity issues that they've alienated an entire sub-culture of people? It's abundantly clear that Transgender people experience more hate and ridicule then any other group could ever imagine.

If you think that I am wrong about my assessment then ask yourself these two questions:

1. Do I have any Transgender friends?
2. Why?

If your answer was honest then I am sure that you will come to find that you may have some horizontal hatred or ignorance to an entire sub-culture that is apart of the community.

While many people outside of the Gay Community view gay men and women as sexual deviants, Trangender people have a much more profound issue. They have to somehow navigate their own biological identify in a culture that barely accepts homosexuality, let alone anything else that isn't considered "normal". And some studies are showing that transgender men and women are 4 times more likely to commit suicide, catch HIV and start using drugs more then any other demographic.

While the gay "struggle" is a serious issue that needs to be handled with vigor and great stride. It's nothing compared to the struggles of transgender men and women. It is time for us all to be more inclusive and a lot more open minded.

"IF YOU WANT IT HOT AND BLACK"
LOG ONTO O1LT.COM

Labels: People, Transgender

I first heard the above quote mentioned in the stage play The Truth About The Down Low and it immediately resonated with me. Every now and then I examine my life and I'm not always pleased with where I've been and where I am currently. I'm never truly satisfied with any of my personal achievements nor do I take the time to breathe and enjoy my success.

I was telling Travis last night that my life has not gone according to plan at all. While I've been pleasantly surprised at certain moments, I've also had to endure pain that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Over the past few days this thing called LIFE has forced me to make some major decisions about my future. Yesterday was particularly rough for me because LIFE gave me a deadline...or should I say an ultimatium. Stay in my comfort zone and simply go through the motions or take a chance and really live out my purpose.

What's my purpose? I'm not sharing it anymore for my own reasons. But I will tell you I'm commited to getting out of my own way to allow it to manifest itself in my life.

It's scary and uncomfortable, but it's necessary. Today I'm determined to do what makes me breathe.

The Facts:

Yesterday in Orlando, Florida prominent Black ministers joined forces with Alan Chambers , president of Exodus International in a press conference to denounce the proposed Federal Hate Crimes Act of 2007, written by openly gay politicians Barney Frank and Tammy Baldwin.

Bishop Larry Jackson, Pastor and musician Marvin Winans and others gathered to display their opposition to a bill that would lend support to state and local authorities to investigate and prosecute crimes based on race, sexual orientation, and gender identity. During the press conference the Black ministers took the opportunity to once again reject the notion that the movement for gay equality is similar to the civil rights movement.

"We stand today with many in the African-American community who also recognize that one's sexuality can be changed, but one's skin color cannot." We call upon Congress to promote legislation that affirms authentic equality and protects our religious freedoms, said Alan Chambers, "former homosexual" and leader of Exodus International.

The Human Rights Campaign has launched a massive effort to see that this billed is passed. It would be a landmark victory in the struggle for LGBT equality in America. A vote is expected to take place as early as Monday. The HRC has sent out an e-mail blast uncovering the lies and fear tactics these two groups are using to kill this very important piece of legislation.


THEIR LIE: "This bill would punish thoughts and criminalize free speech."

THE TRUTH: This bill will punish vicious criminals who attack members of our communities simply because of who they are. The bill does not criminalize thoughts or speech; it only covers crimes involving bodily injury or attempted bodily injury.

THEIR LIE: "This bill gives homosexuals special treatment."

THE TRUTH: The current hate crimes law excludes violence against a person because of his or her sexual orientation, gender identity, gender or disability. There is nothing “special” about wanting to live free of violence in our society.

My Thoughts:

When I first received the e-mail today informing me that Black ministers had taken it upon themselves to join in with the KKK I was outraged! And I use the term KKK loosely when referring to Exodus International, because the truth is Alan Chambers and his followers have an agenda and that agenda does not include anything that really matters to the majority of the Black community.

The very same people that Bishop Jackson and Pastor Winans are standing with are the same group of people who beat and murdered their people less than sixty years ago. And why? The color of their skin. When are these Black preachers going to learn that anti-gay bigots like Alan Chambers and Dr. James Dobson only call on them when they need a black face to spread their hateful message disguised as "tough Christian love" into the Black community? They have come to further divide our community and they're using religion to get the job done.

Since when did it become a bad thing to want to live in a society free of violence? Or to be able to walk down the street and not fear that your life is in danger because you're gay or perceived to be? Will somebody please tell these media hungry and misguided ministers that by supporting this legislation they won't be perceived as pro gay or going against God's will? I'm starting to wonder if these people actually have a heart. The last time I checked, God's desire was that all of his children experience love and not unfair discrimination or wrongful death.

The actions of these ministers and the right wing in this country is beyond scary. They have become the Bull Connor of the LGBT rights movement. The more they denounce the similarities between the two movements, the more apparent they become, at least to me. White LGBT folk continue to be the face of what it looks like to be gay in this country and Black gays and lesbians are being left out of the discussion. If we don't come out and tell our stories these people will tell them for us.

Where were these ministers when Michael Sandy died? Why didn't they rush to console Rashawn Brazell's mother after her son's body parts were found in bags all over New York City? Where were they when Sakia Gunn was murdered? Or when Kevin Aviance was beaten and left for dead? Didn't they meet at least one requirement by the NAACP and the Religious Hypocrites of America? They were all Black, but nobody came because they were also gay.

There is a need for this bill in our country and if they're too blinded by the spotlight and overflowing collection plates on Sunday to see that then we have an even bigger problem. In a perfect we would all be treated as equals. Now imagine that.

Labels: Activism

Well...not really. But now that I have your attention, go ahead and click play and find out what I have to say.

Labels: Video Blog

Over the past couple of weeks I've had the pleasure of traveling to Chicago and Indianapolis for business and yesterday I flew to Washington D.C. for the day. I've always wanted to visit D.C. but I've never had the opportunity until yesterday. To say that I was excited about this trip would be an understatement. After my morning meeting I had 4 hours to take in as much of the city as I possibly could before I had to fly back to Atlanta.

My cab driver obviously could see the word tourist written all over my forehead, because he thought he could convince me to pay him one hundred dollars round trip . Please! I boarded the metrobus and paid six dollars round trip, I'm nobody's fool. Remind me never to fly into Washington Dulles, it's a hike into downtown D.C. !

I managed to stroll down to Pennsylvania Avenue to see The White House up close. President Bush and I were supposed to sit down and discuss the Federal Marriage Amendment and the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy with a public apology to all LGBT Americans to follow on the White House lawn, but he was busy dodging impeachment. LOL !

There's still so much of the city I haven't seen, so I've got to plan another trip in the near future. Despite the extremely hot weather I was elated to finally walk the streets of D.C.(no pun intended) .

Labels: Travel

Just when I thought I'd heard it all. Earl Adams, a father of two teenage boys in Arkansas who found The Whole Lesbian Sex Book at their public library while they were searching for books on "military academies", is suing the city for $20,000 due to the stress that was caused after his sons discovered the book.

I'm sorry, but this has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Since when does any heterosexual man or boy suffer from stress after seeing two naked women in a sexual act? Most straight men fantasize about lesbian sex or being with two women at the same time. Just look at the billion dollar porn industry, there is not a single hetero video that does not include at least one scene where there's girl to girl action. Lesbian sex is the only socially acceptable form of gay sex by heterosexual males, or should I say less threatening.

Mr. Adams wrote in an e-mail to KOCO TV that he would fight any effort to put the book back in circulation, threatening “legal action and protests from the Christian community.” (The Advocate)

When all else fails, call on Focus on the Family and the Ted Haggard movement to create some noise. Thankfully no one is taking this man's claims seriously. I wonder how he would've reacted if his sons had found The Joy of Gay Sex ? I always enjoyed that book.

I haven't written about American Idol this season simply because I've been really dissapointed with the talent this year.The only reason I know about the show's front runners Lakisha, Melinda, and Jordan is because Keith keeps me updated.

Well I caught last night's episode on accident and had a chance to see Lakisha Jones' rendition of Fantasia's "I Believe". When it was announced that she was singing this signature Fantasia song, I knew that her feedback from the judges wouldn't be good. Despite the fact she had major pitch problems, she just doesn't have the power that Fantasia does. The entire time I was comparing her to Fantasia. Lakisha is definitely talented but I think she needs to stop singing songs that will force her to compete with past American Idol winners.

There is only one Fantasia and when she sings, she sings from the pit of her soul. Check out the clip of Fantasia's winning moment on American Idol and I'm sure you'll agree.

Labels: Entertainment

I have to admit that I'm not a loyal reader of OUT Magazine. I prefer magazines that at least attempt to reflect the entire community. But I recently won a year subscription thanks to fellow blogger playboyadonis . The current issue lists 50 of the most powerful LGBT people in America and out of 50 there were only two peole of color. Vogue editor Andre Leon Talley(the man responsible for the hideous bolero Jennifer Hudson wore to the Oscars) and Hollywood manager Benny Medina( formerly Jennifer Lopez's manager).

Now I can think of at least 10 people who deserved to be included on this list and unlike Anderson Cooper and Jodie Foster they're actually out! It's no secret that I think Keith Boykin should have been included, that goes without saying. But what pisses me off is that our contributions to the larger gay community continue to be completely ignored, further promoting the myth that gay=white.

So I looked through the magazine to see if I could find any person of color and I did, there he was on page 67 shirtless, pubic hairs exposed and adorned with buttons that read Dick ! FAG! SUCK! etc. I'm not sure what message the photographer was trying to send, it's obvious that this model is gorgeous and I can appreciate that, but if this is all we get out of a 100 page spread then we have a problem.

Editor in Chief Aaron Hicklin should give me a call, I would be more than happy to lend my blackness to his magazine.

Nathan 7 Scott and Jared Shuler are back with another episode of The & Show. On this episode they discuss the role Black women play in the lives of Black gay men. It's a very interesting discussion laced with the usual over the top humor you'll always find on The & Show. Get into it !

Labels: Video Blog

Over the weekend I finally had the opportunity to see what all the fuss was about over Jennifer Hudson and Patti LaBelle's appearance at the GLAAD Media Awards. The special aired on LOGO last Saturday and was actually quite entertaining. But I guess you should expect nothing less when it's being organized by hundreds of talented LGBT people.

Jennifer presented Patti with the excellence in media award and seemed humbled that she was given the opportunity to pay homage to a woman that opened doors for her. There was no way that these two women could be on stage together in front of a microphone and not sing, that would be considered a crime. Jennifer belted out "Somewhere over the rainbow" and as expected the room went up! But nothing could have prepared me for the impromptu duet between the two when Patti began singing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen”. Lawd have mercy! For all of the kids who hadn't been to church in years because they felt rejected, definitely had a religious experience during this moment!

I'd almost forgotten what real singers sound like, it's not everyday you hear voices like Patti and Jennifer's on the radio. Patti LaBelle has been an amazing supporter of the gay community for over 45 years, despite the controversy she caused by singing at homophobe Bishop Eddie Long's church last year, this honor was well overdue.

I remember seeing her in concert when I was in my early teens and a male fan rushed the stage in the middle of the show, security immediately grabbed him but Patti intervened. I'll never forget her words, she said" Let him go. Come on up her sweetie! I ain't Diana Ross I like people! It doesn't matter if you're gay or straight just come". Her show was amazing but it was that moment that put the icing on the cake for me. Patti LaBelle will always be the ultimate diva.

Labels: Entertainment, People

After going on a semi-blogging hiatus I find myself tackling the issue of marriage. But it's not what you think. Today I opened my mailbox to find two wedding invitations, one from a friend I danced with in high school and the other from a couple I met while working in Los Angeles. It seems as if everytime I return home to visit there's someone I grew up with that's either married, pregnant, or both. I'm beginning to think that's an unspoken requirement when you live in the south.

The closer I get to turning thirty the stronger the desire increases for me to be in a long term relationship. However, there's a couple of obstacles that I know I must overcome in order to achieve this goal. I've got to break the six month curse and I must create a repellent that will keep all the dogs away. I don't know why I seem to be a magnet for the latter but I am.

Never mind the fact that LGBT people can only legally wed in one state in this country, all I want is a decent date! You would think that it would be a piece of cake to find someone to couple up with in Atlanta since it is the Black gay mecca of the U.S., but it's not that easy. Most of the men here suffer from wandering eyes that lead to wandering hands because there's so many beautiful men to choose from.

I had a friend ask me where he could go to meet a decent guy and I laughed. As if my single and frustrated Black ass could really answer that question. I refuse to believe that because I'm gay the idea of having a committed relationship is unrealistic. I know being in a same sex relationship presents its own set of problems, but it's been done before.

Maybe I'm not planning my committment ceremony right now because I'm too picky. All I require is a job, a spiritual foundation, halfway decent looks, great communication skills, and no criminal record. Is that too much to ask?

I swear, sisters think they have it hard but they should try dating as a gay man. There's more on this subject brewing inside of me, but I think I'm going to leave it alone for now. To be continued...

Two words: Janet and Halle ! These two beautiful Black women are aging gracefully and giving other entertainers in their twenties a run for their money. Halle Berry is on the new issue of Esquire Magazine and since Janet released 20 Y.O. she has been almost everywhere. It's almost hard to believe these women are considered by some to be over the hill. They both look just as amazing as they did in their earlier days if not better. Now I just want Ms. Berry to give us another award winning Monster's Ball performance...but that's another post.

Ms. Jackson has been spotted all over Atlanta since she's been in town filming Tyler Perry's new movie, "Why Did I Get Married?". From her onstage appearance at club Jungle in support of drag performer Jasmyne to her late night workout's with Tyler at LA Fitness, she's been all over town. It seems as if everyone has come across her but me. She might be avoiding me since the first time we met I had to get all dramatic and cry! LOL !

Halle and Janet are definietely two of my favorite artists. In case you guys are wondering when Janet posed for Playboy, sorry to dissapoint you but the picure is fake. Many thanks to my friend Jeff for sending me that one. Can you imagine what these women will look like 10 years from now at 50?

Ok. You must drop everything you're doing right now and watch this video. I will not give you a synopsis of the clip because I wouldn't be able to do it justice. Move over Oprah there is a new talk show host coming through. She may not be as articulate and politically correct, but she knows how to keep your attention and get her point across. Brace yourselves for this one. Thanks for the heads up Thomas.

Labels: Video Blog

I'm sure you guys have noticed that I've been relatively quiet over the past couple of weeks . My updates have been less frequent due to travel and unexpected occurences. I take pride in my writing and I don't believe in posting junk, so until I get over whatever it is that I'm going through I'm just going to lay low. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Be back soon.

I would like to give my condolences to the victims of the Virginia Tech shooting and their families. I along with the entire nation will be praying for justice and healing at the end of this terrible occurrence.

Breaking News Coverage

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Labels: News

Today I turn 27 years old. I remember a time when I was the youngest person in a room, but that's no longer the case. I can't believe that I'm getting closer to the big 3-0 . I'm so blessed and today I just want to thank God for life . I've experienced joy and great sadness in my 27 years, but as Miss Ceiley in The Color Purple would say, "but dear God I'm here!"

I recorded a special birthday video blog for you guys, it's been a while since I've posted a new video and I thought this would be a perfect time to do so. It's unrehearsed and over the top, so it's the real me. Thanks to everyone who has left me b'day wishes on myspace. Enjoy the video!

Much love,
Darian

Labels: Video Blog

The entire country is up in arms about Don Imus and the slanderous comments he made against the women of the Rutgers Basketball team. I'd heard about Imus after GLAAD included him in their hall of shame last year, but like many people in the African -American community Imus was not on my direct radar. Imus has since been fired from his jobs at CBS and MSNBC due to his racially insensitive remarks. But the biggest debate to arise out of this scandal is the offensive and derogatory language used by rappers to refer to Black women in our own community.

So if Don Imus can't call us "knappy head ho's" then why is it acceptable for us to refer to ourselves as such?

I was sent the most disturbing youtube video of three young white rappers freestyling in the vein of 50 Cent and The Game, and what I saw was the result of hip-hop falling into the wrong hands. In under 10 minutes the three "rappers" used the n word over thirty times. It rolled off their tongue as if the word was not tied to years of oppression. But as I continued to watch the video I began to realize that we (Black people, rappers) have commercialized the word and given white men a pass to call us the very word that was spoken to dehumanize us for centuries.

The hyper-masculine thug persona of hip-hop has embedded itself in the minds, speech, and fashion of men all over this country and is considered the acceptable definition of manhood by many. The lead rapper in this video even has the word "Gutter" tatooed on his stomach and wears it like a badge of honor. I couldn't help but recall Tupac's famous "Thug Life" tatoo in the same place.

I'm still finding it hard to believe that they think it's okay to use the N word and post it on the internet for the entire world to see. Have they not noticed that Eminem's widespread acceptance amongst other Black rappers is because he was smart enough not to use the N word?

We live in a country where free speech is embraced, but hate speech is a totally different thing and should be censored. I'm glad the discussion is turning away from Imus and towards the bigger problem of harmful lyrics in hip-hop. After all it was the lyrics that we sing along too and bump in our cars that created the shameful display in this video .

In preparation for this weekly post, I look for things that have inspired me along life’s journey to share with you in hopes that you too will be inspired. This evening I read passages of scripture, I meditated and I went through old posts to see where I should pick up. I didn’t find anything that jumped out at me to share with you. I wasn’t interested in running off some theological babble that is way too much work to read and understand and for some seemingly irrelevant.

I have grown weary of arguing with people about what is so clear to me when I study the Word of God. If I endeavor to follow the letter of the law, I have realized that I fall short every time (Romans 3:10.) If I, with the guidance of the Spirit of God can embody the spirit of the law, then I can help breathe life into those that the law has killed. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 3:6, “The letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life.”

So I asked God, “What should I write about.” And only as God Himself could answer, he replied in a quiet voice barely audible in the depths of my spirit, “Tell my people I love them.” Even as I type this I am moved to tears at the thought of a God that could love us so much that he would pay the price for our sin. If each and every one of us received what we deserved for our mistakes, shortcomings and failures toward God and each other the human race would be no more. (Romans 6:23) But, His love not only paid the price for our sins; his love fulfilled the perfection required by the law. The shed blood of Jesus Christ has greater power than the worst sins we could imagine.

My question to you is this. What do we do with so great a Love? How can we make this love active in our lives today?

I can answer this question with one passage of scripture.Matthew 22:38-40. Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

It would be so easy to use scripture to point out your faults and your shortcomings. I could go to the scriptures and pull your file. But in pulling your file, unfortunately, the same scriptures would condemn me. Instead I take this opportunity to challenge you to love God better this week. Love the people you come into contact with this week. Pay special attention to the people that you would normally look down on and find a way to show them love. Love the people that you would prefer to hate. And equally as important, love yourself this week. Why? You cannot give what you do not possess.

For further understanding of Godly love check out the following passages of scripture. 1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 4:7-12, Matthew 5:43-48, Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:14, 22, Hebrews 12:1-14.

I admonish you to use these scriptures this week as a source of strength and encouragement and a vehicle for prayer and meditation. Until next time, God Bless.

Albert on myspace
Email: albertrlee@hotmail.com

Labels: Religion, Spirituality

Hi everyone! I've been away for 2 days and it seems like I haven't written anything in years. It was my intention to do a full update for today , but I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open after only getting about 5 hours of sleep over the past 2 days.

On Tuesday I was in Chicago for the day and came across Ms. Gayle King herself at O'Hare International Airport. She was as sweet as pie! She's actually very tall and stunning in person. Of course I had to break out my camera, I do it all for you kids! LOL! I think it's always nice when you meet a celebrity and they're actually not caught up in being "Hollywood" and can converse with the regular folk.

If you guys read the post I wrote on my trip to Chicago last week, then you will remember that I hinted about meeting someone we all know but have never seen. If you guessed The Captain then you are exactly right.




The Captain met me for lunch at the airport before my flight back to Atlanta. We had a very interesting conversation about life, the church, and the prison he's created for himself by resisting his personal "temptation".

What strikes me as odd about The Captain is that despite all of the hateful and homophobic crap he writes on blogs he is completely harmless...almost likeable.

I thought I would have to sneak in a picture since he doesn't like to be photographed, but before I knew it he was posing for the camera. I think he was excited about his 5 minutes of fame on my blog ! Now you guys can have a visual of the person I'm sure you've all wanted to slap in the face a few times! LOL ! Be nice.

If you guys have not seen the new issue of CLIK Magazine you better run out and purchase your copy of one of the hottest issues to ever hit the shelves! Dwight and his talented team( of which I'm apart of...shameless plug!) have totally outdone themselves with this issue. Each month the magazine seems to get better and better.

My writing is featured in the movie section this month. I'm sure some of you might remember me mentioning an article I was writing on the film adaptations of B Boy Blues and Invisible Life, you can see the finished result in the new issue.

I will not be updating the site over the next few days because I'm on another deadline, thanks to Clik editor Dwight Powell.I will also be traveling to Chicago and Indianapolis over the next couple of days, so keep me in your prayers. I've got some major news on the horizon, so stay tuned.

I hope to be up and running full speed by Thursday. But in the event that something major happens you know I'll be logging on to my computer to put in my two cents. Talk with ya on Thursday.

Ciao,
Darian

Labels: Entertainment

I want to take this opportunity to wish every reader of LOLDarian a very Happy Easter. I usually am very long winded in my writing, but for today I come only with a few words of encouragement. In keeping with our previous discussions about identity, as we have recently celebrated the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, this is a perfect time to examine our own lives.

Scripture suggests to us in 1 Corinthians 11:31 if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. If we take responsibility upon ourselves to examine our own lives, we can avoid the chastening of God. We have all had experiences where we knew we were reaping the consequences of our personal choices. If there are things in our lives that need to be crucified and buried this is a good time for a spiritual spring cleaning. It is always easy to see the faults of other people, but it takes a spiritually mature person to see your own mess and ask God for help (Matthew 7:3-5). I challenge you this week to take your spiritual growth into your hands. Is your life a reflection of the same victory revealed in the risen Christ?

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Albert on myspace
E-mail Albert: albertrlee@hotmail.com

Labels: Religion, Spirituality

So I wasn't planning on posting anything new today, but after catching the CNN special "What is A Christian ?" I had to put in my two cents. Anderson Cooper (how ironic ) hosted the special and led viewers into the Love Won Out conference by Exodus International. I've written about the Ex-gay movement before so I won't blow off any more steam right now. These conferences are based on lies and are extremely misleading and destructive for all involved.

One family flew from San Diego to the conference to have their gay son cured, and the father was told the reason why his son was gay was as a result of his poor parenting skills. Can you believe this bs?

The highlight of the show for me was Anderson's interview with homophobe Rev. Ken Hutcherson. In a weird way Hutcherson stated that the only requirement to enter heaven was to accept Christ as your personal saviour. Not once did he say being gay or lesbian would revoke your pass into the pearly gates. I think this was his attempt to appear Christ-like, but we know the truth.

I hope to share some video footage of the CNN special for all of you who missed it. But until then, check out this clip from The Montel Williams show of a gay man named Peterson. He endured 3 exorcisms, a failed marriage, and conversion therapy at Exodus conferences and is now living his life as an openly gay man. His story is powerful and real.

Labels: Sexuality

It's almost hard to believe that this blog is approaching it's one year anniversary next month. When I wrote the first entry last May I had no idea what the next eleven months would bring. I've met so many great people who have supported and encouraged me as well as critics who were not afraid to "put me in my place". Ha ! As if !

I've received tons of e-mails and comments from people all over the world and they've been good, bad, and ugly. I save everything that I'm sent and recently I took the time to sort through some of my mail. So instead of keeping it all to myself, I decided to share some of my favorite e-mails with you guys. As you continue to read you'll notice that I've posted the good and the bad. They range from heartfelt to utterly ridiculous! The chosen few are all listed below unedited. Here's to more blogging and more e-mails, keep them coming.




"I was just scrolling through your blog today and I just wanted to commend you on everything that you've accomplished in the couple months you've begun. I thought back to when you first began and it was just so flashy and cute and different, and it's become something quite great. keep up the good work. "

"Well, Kiddo, you indubitably have brass balls. I am really proud of you Darian.  Damn ! God is giving you a ministry platform that will set the "captives free."  Amen. "

"I just finished viewing your site.  I have to be honest, i was a little surprised and sadden by the info you listed. You are family, we will be here, and my love for you will never change."

"I wish you the very best as you represent our community.  You speak for people who have no voice, have had their voices stolen, have given their voices away, have lost their voice, and/or have not found their voice.  This is why YOUR voice is so important.  I thank you for your efforts."

"I am a straight female and I'm just dealing with a very secretive man that seems to have a severe fascination with anal sex to the point that I cannot satisfy him any other way.  I know none of his friends with the exception of one...and we have been dating for three years. We live together.    It goes much deeper than that....but I just need a man's point of view...I was extremely fascinated by your profile."

YES BITCH WORK. YES BITCH WERRREOKRKRKKKRWWEOKRRERK!!!!!!!

"I really enjoyed your original, personal style of writing. Nowadays, it seems like you are copying Rod's style without his news and journalism background or worst, Keith Boykin's activism without his constituency or cause."

"I know that what you say is true and that I should be ok with who I am, but what worries me is: what if the people I love won't be ok with me. What about all my male friends? I don't want them to feel uncomfortable when they are with me in 1 room. Were you not afraid about what people might think if you'd come out? And have those fears been justified or not?"


"I always wondered why God put me in this situation. I am gay and black like you plus I have a very strong belief in God. Unlike you (I believe), I don't feel that homosexuality is ok.You said in one of your videos that you have found your purpose. What is that purpose? How exactly did you come to this realization? You just figured it to be true? However if your position is that homosexuality is somehow sanctioned by God (or not condemned by God) then I wish to debate with you. One on one. One faith head to another."


"I'M A TEENAGER THAT IS STILL TRYING TO FIND AWAY COME OUT TO MY PARENTS AND EVERYONE AROUND ME AND YOUR VIDEOS KIND OF HELP TAKE THAT STEP TOWARDS HAPPINESS THANK YOU!"

I was recently asked by a reader what I thought about Donnie McClurkin and his reported "conversion" to heterosexuality.I originally wrote this post in July 2006 and thought it would be appropriate to post it again. After all it was Donnie's life story that was sent to me by mom that ushered me into my purpose. My mom was a little dissapointed because the letter had the opposite effect on me. Instead of becoming a new Donnie McClurkin/Ted Haggard heterosexual, I became an even stronger God fearing SGL man of color. I sent this letter to Donnie via e-mail, he never responded.




Dear Donnie,

You don’t know me but I’m well aware of who you are. Although we have never met, years ago your music became apart of my life. But not a single lyric or melody has had the impact that your life story has had . Let me forewarn you that this is not a letter of admiration or praise for your ministry. While I cannot dismiss the calling God has for your life or your anointed musical ability, as a gay African-American man I must dismiss the lies and misinformation you have fed the public regarding the origin of sexual orientation and the ability to revert to heterosexuality if desired.

As a former victim of child molestation I’m sure during your early development sexuality was a very confusing matter for you. I’m truly sorry that you had to endure so much pain at such a young age and that the pain has continued in your adult life.

Your story was given to me by mother and to many other gay brothers by relatives as a prescription to cure their homosexuality. See Donnie this is where I have the problem. I don’t have a sickness and I don’t need something as natural to me as my skin color to be prayed out, sent to an X gay ministry, or married into a unauthentic heterosexual relationship.

You claim that you have been delivered and now lead a “normal” heterosexual life, what I see is a man who may have changed his behavior but not his orientation. Let me tell you Donnie there is a difference.

I know it would be extremely difficult for you to live life as an out gay man in your industry, the majority of your peers are still closeted, and we all know that in the black church if you remain a quiet homosexual then others are free to believe you’re not in spite of knowing the truth.

I’ve heard you say in interviews that you were miserable when you were living the “gay lifestyle”(whatever that means). I really hope that as a single man in his 40’s with no signs of getting married in the near future, you have found happiness in conforming to the unauthentic expectations on your life that you’ve decided to accept.

I know it’s not easy being true to yourself and aligning that with the word, there is obvious conflict in scriptures according to many interpretations. I can only speak for myself when I say I don’t think I would have ever sought out God so early in life and developed a relationship with him if I hadn’t been blessed with a same gender attraction. The homophobia I experienced growing up kept me on my knees praying.

So Donnie I know it’s much easier playing the role and not making anyone uncomfortable by allowing them to see the real you, but for how long?

Your message is one-sided and has provided false hope for people looking to change their son or daughter when the author of the story is clearly still struggling himself. My life changed completely the day I decided to accept my DNA as God created it. Will you accept yours?

Darian

Labels: Activism, People

Darryl Stephens, star of the new gay film Boy Culture is lending his image to the Got Aids? campaign by Los Angeles based Black Aids Institute .

The question on the front of the shirt is bold and is sure to make any passerby think about their status, but the question on the back of the shirt takes it a step further. It asks," How do you know?"

There was recently a meeting of the minds in Scottsdale, Arizona that included political leaders, activists, and members of the media. They all convened to devise an action plan that would reeduce the rate of HIV infection among African Americans by half in five years, increase the percentage of those who know their status, reduce stigma, and test a million people over the next year. They also planned to get black Americans into care earlier and improve education for those testing negative as well as positive.

You can read more about this cause here and here .

Labels: HIV/AIDS

Bishop Harry Jackson , senior pastor of Hope Christian Church in D.C. recently sat down with NPR host Tony Cox to discuss homosexuality in the Black church.

Bishop Jackson recently spoke on a panel at the National Black Church Summit in Philadelphia. The summit is an annual event sponsored by the National Black Justice Coalition. He was invited to balance out the more liberal viewpoints with his more conservative views on social issues. This is exactly the position he takes during this radio interview on NPR.

Bishop Jackson cites homosexuality and same-sex marriage as contributing factors to the breakdown in traditional families.This doesn't surprise me at all. If Jerry Falwell can blame us for 9-11 then Bishop Jackson can definitely blame us for the heteros not being able to keep their relationships together.

Make sure you listen closely to Bishop Jackson's response when Tony Cox reminds him that slave owners and white supremacists used certain scriptures to oppress Black people. Cox asks Bishop if he ever wrestled with using scriptures in the same vein to opress LGBT people, his response is typical.

You can listen to the interview here .

Labels: Religion, Spirituality

Yesterday I had the wonderful privilege of visiting the windy city for a day on a business trip. Thankfully my meeting ended early and I had about six hours to play tourist before I had to catch my evening flight back to Atlanta.

I visited Chicago for the first time last June and I believe my expectations were too high because I was really dissapointed. I'd always heard that Chicago was considered a "baby New York", well that wasn't my experience. But this time around the city seemed vibrant and much more fast paced, despite the cold and rainy weather in APRIL !

I spent the day with my good friend Delandis who is a featured dancer in the Chicago production of the broadway musical Wicked . We spent the day shopping on North Michigan Avenue and feeding our faces at Grand Lux Cafe .

Since Chicago is the home of Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, I kept looking around to see if there was a statue erected in her honor somewhere, but it looks like the city is waiting to see if her next project will be a success. Lol!

I'll be flying back to Chicago next week on business, but this time I'll be meeting someone that you all know but have never seen. He's a consistent presence on many SGL blogs. Can you guess who? You'll know by this time next week.

Hey everyone ! The photo above is quite dramatic isn't it? You know I wouldn't have it any other way...lol! Sorry I wasn't able to post anything new yesterday. I've got a lot going on and I can't wait to share it all with you over the next couple of weeks. My 65 watt power adapter for my laptop finally gave out on me last night. So after a trip to the Apple Store I should be up and running again later on today.

How many times have you witnessed mainstream gay organizations and activists compare the gay rights movement to the civil rights movement of the 60's? Probably more times than you can count on both hands. You've probably also lost count of how many people within the Black heterosexual community that have been offended by this comparison. If only I had a dime for everytime a preacher or some homophobic "God fearing" person has said that "Black people couldn't hide who they were, gays on the other hand can walk into a room and nobody would ever know", therefore escaping the opportunity to be oppressed.

I know many people in the Black community feel the civil rights movement is being "hijacked" by white gay men. These are the same men who wear the faces of those who were instumental in denying African-Americans their basic civil rights less than seventy years ago. Trust me I get it. But as a Black gay man who identifies proudly with both sides of his identity, I have some major issues with this argument.


I came across an article written by Black conservative bloggerLaShawn Barber and her words echoed the sentiments of many angry Black folks who are unhappy with the strategy and success of the gay rights movement. To be honest, I'd never heard of Lashawn or her blog until today, she seems to have a huge following despite how misguided and uninformed she is on GLBT issues. This is what she had to say:



LaShawn throws around some typical conservative gay bashing words in her article, "perversion" has to be my favorite. But as she attempted to paint a picture of just how different the two struggles are, unbeknownst to her she clearly points out the similarities. For today let's just flip the script and put a Black face on it.

I think many people within the Black community forget that gays and lesbians of color exist, because each time someone argues that gay people didn't have to sit at the back of the bus or drink from the "colored only" fountain they clearly only see a white face in their minds.

Obviously LaShawn and others have forgotten that Black gays and lesbians marched from Selma to Montgomery, were attacked by dogs and fire hoses on Bloody Sunday, and lived in fear just as those who didn't identify as GLBT. We are treated as second class citizens today much like our people were during the civil rights era. Blacks were considered sub-human, ignorant, hyper-sexual,( dare I say"perverted") and a threat to the traditional way of living.

Black gays and lesbians live in fear of physical, emotional and spiritual abuse simply because of an orientation that is as natural to us as our skin color. I know LaShawn would never be able to wrap her right-wing, conservative, bible-thumping brain around that statement but it's true, at least for me.

Do you know it's perfectly legal in 33 states to be terminated from your job solely because of who you love? So the argument that gays aren't barred from certain types of employment doesn't fly, try again LaShawn.

It doesn't matter who was oppressed first or the most, what matters is no one should ever be oppressed.

This is a lesson that conservatives like LaShawn obviously tuned out during vacation bible study. I think Wanda Sykes said it best on an appearance on the Ellen Degeneres show, "Gay is the new Black".

Who Am I? Why Am I Here? Why do I need to answer this question at all?

Who am I? This is the question that was posed at the end of last weeks post. It’s not an easy question for any of us to answer because there is no concrete answer. As we evolve as people the answer will also evolve. While it is a challenging question to answer, understanding your identity can be the difference between abundant life and a pitiful existence on earth chasing after things that only sustain us temporarily ultimately leading us to nowhere very quickly.

One reader suggested that identity has to be examined from three perspectives. How God identifies us, how we identify ourselves and how others identify us. It will come as no surprise that my opinion on these three perspectives is this: The one that holds the most weight is how God identifies us. If we can discover how God sees us, His identify becomes the foundation for how we view ourselves and hopefully how others see us.

To begin answering this question I would like to share with you a very familiar portion of scripture.

Genesis 3:1-6 1Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? 2And the women said unto the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: 3But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, ye shall not eat of it; neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. 4 And the serpent said unto the woman, ye shall not surely die. 5For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good from evil. 6And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did not eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

What does this story have to do with understanding identity? The answer is everything. The serpent tempted Eve with a few things. He tempted her with how good the fruit looked and how good it had to taste seeing that it looked so good. (God knows we’ve all given into something or someone that looked good whether it was good for us or not.) More importantly he was able to tempt her with the promise that eating from this tree would make her like God. Here is the ignorance of Adam and Eve. Everything that the serpent was offering they already were. How do we know this? Genesis 1:26 says, “And God said let us make man in our own image after our likeness…” The first key to unlocking our identity as defined by God is found in this scripture.

You and I are created in the image of God. We are a direct reflection of who God is. Everything that God is can be found in us. I don’t know about you, but the thought that the creator of heaven and earth created me as a direct reflection of Him is way past what my limited mind can really grasp. If we only define ourselves by our name, our sex, our occupation, our sexual orientation, and how much we have, we negate God in us. Without this knowledge the other stuff has little importance. John 4:24 tells us that God is a spirit. If we are created in His image, then we too are spirit first and foremost.

We will stop right there for this week but I would like to encourage everyone who reads this post to examine themselves this week. Take an account of the things that hold a significant place in your life. Does it build your spirit or does it destroy your spirit?

As always, I look forward to hearing your thoughts by comment, email or myspace. Have a Blessed Resurrection Sunday.

Reconciling Your Spirituality with Your Sexuality:
1st Entry
2nd Entry

Albert on myspace
Email:albertrlee@hotmail.com

Labels: Spirituality

Ms. Over Exposed Beyonce Knowles is showing her love for the kids in one of eight new videos for B'day. The high energy track Get Me Bodied has been spun on heavy rotation in gay clubs all over the country since Beyonce's second album dropped last fall.

In this video Beyonce and her crew of (unpaid) back-up dancers re-invent Bob Fosse's famous choreography from the musical Sweet Charity . I want to hate on her so badly, but I will refrain because my friend LT does it so well, not to leave Clay Cane out.

I have a love/hate relationship with Ms. Deena Jones, but I have to admit I really like this video. Watch out for the Destiny's Child reunion with appearances by Kelly, Michelle, and Solange...the lost member.

All of the controversy surrounding the gallery showing of "Chocolate Jesus'' in New York has forced the cancellation of the show and has set off numerous discussions on message boards across the internet. Many African-Americans are wondering if Catholics found the sculpture offensive because his genitals are exposed, or if they were upset because his skin color didn't reflect the white images that is traditionally seen in print and on tv.

One of my favorite blogger's Terrance over at Republic of T has created an amazing video that shows just how ridiculous this whole controversy really is. Check it out here .

Labels: Entertainment, Religion