Living Out Loud with Darian

I tried to let this one go but I can't. What exactly makes a real man? I'm asking this question because two recent statements by celebrities Jamie Foxx and David Gest have me scratching my head. I'm aware that Jamie Foxx is a friend of the gay community and has stated so publicly on more than one occasion, yet on Sunday night at the BET Awards he perpetuated one of the worst forms of male heterosexism (IMO) while introducing singer Maxwell, despite commenting that the R&B crooner made him "moist".


Foxx: "Im heterosexual, I'm all man. I am a man. But this next man who is about to perform almost had me in a Prop 8 situation when I heard him sing, this dude is that good...I was a little moist."





And Liza Minelli's ex-husband David Gest is now hopping on the Michael Jackson post death publicity train by granting an interview to the British tabloid The Sun.


Gest: “There is nobody who knew Michael like I did. He was so gifted, it’s hard for me to picture him gone. There is a whole side to him people never saw. For instance, people always think of him as talking in that high, soft voice, but he didn’t really speak like that — it was a facade. Still to this day I am not sure why he did it. The Michael I knew talked like a real man, acted like a real man and shook a hand like a real man.”


This coming from a man long suspected to be gay and who entered into a short-lived relationship with gay icon Liza Minelli. Give me a break! So is all of this "real man" speech just cover for what people like Foxx and Gest are really implying, in order to be a real man you must be a heterosexual?


Don't hold back. Discuss.

Via Joe My God comes a horrible video of a gay man being harassed by a group of Somalian kids after the Twin Cities Pride Parade in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The victim was simply walking home when asked by the kids if he were gay and when he replied yes all hell broke loose! The kids can be heard screaming "Fuckin faggot", "I hate gay people, and "Gay is not the way".


Pay close attention to the officers who walk by the scene at the one minute mark who fail to disrupt the small crowd of future anti-gay bigots. Luckily, the verbal taunts didn't turn into a physical altercation and the gay man was able to walk away from the ordeal.


The kids may be Somalian, but if their true ethnicity wasn't supplied via video commentary one would assume they were black. What a way to enforce the stereotypes that people of color are extremely homophobic.

A troubling report from Science Daily on why the HIV infection rates in black gay men are continuing to spiral out of control and why our community may not see a change in the trend for some time.


Black gay men have less choice when it comes to sexual partners than other groups and, as a result, their sexual networks are closely knit leading to the rapid spread of HIV.


In a study looking at social and sexual mixing between ethnic groups in men who have sex with men, H. Fisher Raymond and Willi McFarland, from the San Francisco Department of Public Health found that social barriers faced by black gay men may have a serious impact on their health and well-being.


A total of 1,142 gay men took part in computer-assisted interviews. They were asked about their own ethnicity, the race of their sexual partners in the last six months, their perception of how easy it is to meet sexual partners of different ethnicities, where they meet sexual partners, their view of HIV infection risk and the predominant race of their network of friends.


The researchers found that Black gay men are the least preferred of sexual partners by other races. Black men are perceived to be riskier to have sex with, which can lead to men of other races avoiding Black men as sexual partners. They are also perceived as less welcome in the common social venues of gay men in San Francisco. As a result, Black men are three times more likely to have sexual partners that are also Black, than would be expected by chance alone.


In the authors’ view, the combination of attitudes on the part of non-Black gay men, friendships and social networks that are less likely to include Blacks, and the environments found in gay venues serve to separate Black gay men from other groups. Consequently, the sexual networks of Blacks are pushed to be more highly interconnected than other groups, with the potential for a more rapid spread of HIV and a higher sustained prevalence of infection among Black gay men.


The authors conclude: “The racial disparity in HIV observed for more than a decade will not disappear until the challenges posed by a legacy of racism towards Blacks in the US are addressed.”


Do you agree with the researcher's findings? Do black gay men really have less choices when it comes to sexual partners? Or is this study out of touch with the reality of mixed neighborhoods outside of the heavily populated white gay Castro district of San Francisco?


Get into a related discussion by a group of black gay men on this issue filmed at the NY LGBT Center below:

In the midst of growing criticism and frustration from the LGBT community for failing to act on many of his campaign promises including the repeal of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' and the so-called 'Defense of Marriage Act', President Barack Obama commemorated the 40th Anniversary of Stonewall by inviting 250-300 LGBT leaders for a "cocktail and appetizer" in the East Room of the White House earlier today.


Obama responded to his critics, many of who were sitting in the room, regarding their disappointment on his adminstration's inability to take action on LGBT issues:


"I know that many in this room don't believe that progress has come fast enough, and I understand that. It's not for me to tell you to be patient, any more than it was for others to counsel patience to African Americans who were petitioning for equal rights a half century ago. But I say this: We have made progress and we will make more. And I want you to know that I expect and hope to be judged not by words, not by promises I've made, but by the promises that my administration keeps."


LGBT leaders including Joe Solmonese of The Human Rights Campaign welcomed Obama's comments but in a statement released after the event said "it is the actions to advance equality — not simply the words — that will be the true marker by which this White House will be judged."


Of the nearly 300 invited guests several black gay and lesbian leaders were in attendance including Bishop Yvette Flunder, Jason Bartlett,Wilson Cruz, Denise Simmons, Cornelius Baker, Stampp Corbin, Earl Fowlkes, Dr. Sylvia Rhue, and Phil Wilson to name a few.


By the time he leaves office, the president said, "I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration." Well that remains to be seen. Let's hope so.


Read the full transcript of President Obama's speech and view the complete guest list via Towleroad. Watch the Presiden't speech below:



Watch CBS Videos Online

The Advocate profiles Victoria (“Vikky”) Cruz, 17, and Deoine Scott, 18, a Bronx, New York lesbian couple who despite being open with their relationship have not only managed to earn the respect and adoration of their peers but the honor of being named "best couple", a title usually reserved for heterosexual couples.


The pair were overwhelmingly voted “best couple” by their peers in their graduating class at Mott Haven Village Preparatory High School. Their groundbreaking win as the first lesbian couple in the school's history to hold the title earned the couple a picture in the school yearbook.


“Nobody said anything negative about it,” said Deoine. “Everybody said, ‘Oh, that’s good you won. You both look so cute!’”


The pair, who met in a 10th grade class and essentially went through the coming out process together, say their unique relationship has educated their classmates about gay and lesbian issues. No gay student organization exists at the school, although they describe the climate and teachers as generally supportive.


“Before when we started going out, everybody would look at us, like, ‘What’s wrong with them?’” says Vikky. “But then from 11th grade, everybody started getting comfortable.”


The couple recently became engaged and although same-sex marriage is currently illegal in New York they look forward to the day when they're able to legalize their union in their home state.


Asked what they want to show through their title as “best couple” in their South Bronx high school, Deoine, who describes herself as the more talkative of the two, summarizes their agenda.


“I hope people can see that we’re just people,” she says. “Everybody should have an equal place somewhere, even if it’s in a yearbook or getting married. We all should get the same rights as everybody else. It doesn’t matter who we like, or what we want to do in life.”

Image via Rod 2.0


Superstar Janet Jackson returned to the BET Awards stage last night to thank the millions of fans for their love and support only days after the shocking and untimely death of her brother, mega-star Michael Jackson.


"My entire family wanted to be here tonight but it was too painful", said Jackson. To you, Michael is an icon. To us, Michael is family and he will forever live in our hearts. On behalf of my family and myself thank you for your love and support. We miss him so much. Thank you so much."


Janet Jackson's classy and heartfelt appearance was in stark contrast to the red carpet interview her father Joe Jackson granted CNN's Don Lemmon. In a tacky and disgraceful moment the family patriarch chose to promote his new record label-Ranch Records while seeming totally oblivious to the fact that he'd just tragically lost his son.


Janet has been named executor of Michael Jackson’s estate and will soon begin the long process of handling his assets, debts and what money her brother left behind. A family friend tells the New York Post, “She’s in charge, she had the documents, she has control of his stuff.”


Watch Janet & Joe Jackson's BET Awards appearance below.

On my way back to Atlanta from New York. New content should be posted around 4 PM EST. Thanks for your patience.

The Los Angeles Times has confirmed that Michael Jackson has passed away from cardiac arrest. He was 50 years old. Rest in peace Michael, you'll be missed.

There are days when I feel defeated. There are days when I feel my work is in vain. There are days when I feel like giving up. Yesterday was one of those days and then this e-mail landed in my inbox and completely dissolved those feelings. God has a way of always showing up on time.


Darian,


I know that you don’t know me and I may never have the pleasure of meeting you in person, but I must tell you that your work is truly inspiring and life changing/life saving. From the first words you say to the last smile that you give in this video it is as if you are speaking to my very soul, reaching out to me personally. Everything that you mention completely parallels my life and current circumstances. I too come from a small, church on every street, blatantly homophobic, military town.


My family and I talk (barely), but we never mention the dark, taboo topic of homosexuality, even after 12 years of my coming out. I too long for a deeper connection with my parents and younger siblings; but I fear it will never come. My mom is emotionally stuck between self blame and disappointment, and my dad fluctuates between disgust and denial. My two young adult brothers are more open minded than my parents (only because I played a major role in their upbringing after our patents got divorced), but their respect and adoration for me has dwindled to near nonexistence.


I am constantly reminded by my extended family that I need to keep my life obscured so as not to embarrass/tarnish my family’s name (it’s not like I am overly flamboyant to begin with and if I was SO WHAT). It’s like they all want me to run back to the closet and locked the door behind me, thus hiding their dirty little secret. It is getting so that I am so afraid to even allow myself to fall in love or allow someone else to love me, for fear of my family causing him the same anguish and pain. Most painful of all is the fact that my family is actually pleased that I am alone! It pains me to know that the people that share the same chromosomes that I have and come from the same blood line that I do would rather see me alone, depressed and hurting, instead of happy with someone that I love and who loves me for who and what I am, only because that someone would be another man.


Like you mentioned this makes holidays and other family get togethers especially difficult for me to deal with. Even as I am writing this my family is gathering in town for our 4th of July reunion. My two younger brothers and all of my cousins will have someone special with them to share in the festivities, but I’ll be alone and miserable. No one has come out and said that I can’t show up with a boyfriend, but I am sure that you can imagine the looks and words that I would get from an overly religious, homophobic cookout crowd of at least 80 people. That’s 160 eyes piercing through my soul and 80 tongues projecting every hurtful, dehumanizing, gay bashing comment in existence at me; not to mention threats of physical harm from a few of my older male cousins.


If I choose not to attend the gathering at all then I am told I think I am “too good” to associate with my own people and comments like “how are we suppose to accept him for who he is if he isn’t around” will be made. So you see it is a no win situation! I don’t want to drag this comment on; in fact I didn’t mean to ramble on as much as I have (God knows that I need someone I can talk to though).


Darian just know that your words coupled with your bravery and sincerity kept me from taking the life of a very special person whom I am just learning to truly love and realize how important he is to the world. You have helped to give me the strength to live and hope that things won’t always be this rough and a better relationship with my family might not come today, but if I keep loving them and showing them that I am the same man I was before I came out to them, then soon they will open up their hearts to me again. Please continue to do what you do; touching and saving the life of so many young men. You are truly a hero to whom I owe a debt of gratitude to for saving my life.

Thank you so much!
- Earnest

An update to the shocking gay exorcism video seen here on loldarian.com earlier this month performed by a Bridgeport, Connecticut storefront church. Fox News 61 took their cameras to Manifested Glory Ministries to confront "Prophetess" Patricia McKinney regarding the troubling YouTube video that has now been seen by thousands.


For twenty minutes the "Prophetess" and husband "Overseer" Kelvin McKinney attempt to cast out "homosexual demons" from a young black gay man. In one startling moment the man identified as Frederick begins to vomit profusely.


The unannounced visit from Fox News caught the "Prophetess" a little off guard and her tone of voice is far from Christian. The video speaks for itself.





Thanks Tron

For those of you who had any doubt that the men are hotter down south here's further proof. Chavis Aaron, an Atlanta native is a professional model curretnly residing in New York City. Aaron's latest feature as Out.com's Model Citizen immediately caught the eye of lodarian.com and I knew he had to be featured on this site.


Chavis Aaron has only been apart of the modeling scene for a year and appeared in BET's Rip The Runway in March. Black gay audiences may recall seeing him on the cover of Bleu Magazine.


He credits his mother for pushing him to pursue modeling professionally. Awww how sweet! Let's all virtually thank his mother for sharing her son with us.


Aaron Chavis is represented by Mint Management NY. Get into his Out.com Model Citizen video feature here

.

The cast of the new indie hit film Rivers Wash Over Me may be racking up accolades at film festivals across the country for their moving performances, but before the script came to life onscreen black gay producer Dexter Davis, CEO of D Street Media Group was hard at work.


Rivers Wash Over Me tells the story of Sequan, an African-American teenager from Brooklyn who is abused at home and bullied at school. After his mother dies Seqaun moves in with relatives living in a small town plagued with secrets in rural Alabama. He befriends a white girl with a cocaine habit who astutely hones in on his true sexuality and introduces him to her cute brother.





Davis recently spoke to Ryan Lee, Editor of David Atlanta Magazine on the controversial themes in Rivers Wash Over Me and how he became comfortable being openly gay.


"It had teenagers and drugs and a rape scene, and I thought, this is not an easy film,"says Davis. But after talking with the film's director about the epidemic of young people committing suicide after enduring anti-gay bullying in school, and thinking about how many people in his own community are affected by the same issues explored in the movie, Davis signed on as executive producer.


On his sexuality Davis says it was never an issue for him. "I grew up not being very outspoken about it, but I was certainly not trying to hide it in any kind of way or not be myself", says Davis.


I stand in my truth and people seem to respect that. I can't imagine the alternative to that. I can't imagine being worried about who's going to know and how this is going to affect your business.


I think a lot of people worry a lot for nothing. That's npt to say that it doesn't exist where people can get harassed, or your job might be in jeopardy-make no mistake, I'm aware of situations that happen in this country and around the world:but the fact of the matter is that when you have the courage to be yourself and live in your truth, then I think things kind of work itself out-that's been my experience so far.


Rivers Wash Over Me makes it's west coast premiere at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco tonight. Get into the trailer below.

We may be living in a Beyonce and Rihanna world but that doesn't mean there isn't room for one more diva. Ciara's latest effort Fantasy Ride may have entered the Billboard charts at a disappointing number three, but if her latest single 'Work' and the video that accompanies it is any indication of what's to come the Atlanta diva just might rule the dance floor and the Hot 100 if the gays have anything to do with it.


The video for 'Work' hit the internet earlier today prior to it's television world premiere and it's got the influence of "the kids" all over it. From the Thierry Mugler inspired designs to the flamboyant ballroom -styled choreography, Ciara is obviously doing this one for the gays.


In an interview last month with New York's HX Magazine Ciara offered up some advice to potential Ciara drag queens;


"Well, you got to work it, honey. You got to know how to hit the floor, tip it off, get buck and whoop your head nice and hard. Glam it up, but don’t over-glam it. And just go hard."


Spoken like the fierce woman she is. Watch Ciara go hard in the amazing new video for 'Work' below.

So far it's been a slow news day. The grinding videos started by the "oh so not gay" Spectacular keep coming. Here's the latest to the batch of men dancing in their briefs for the entire blogosphere to see. You'll either find this to be extremely funny or highly repulsive. Anyway, enjoy! (NSFW)

Openly gay journalist Herndon Davis writes a wonderful editorial in Dick & Sharon's LA Progressive on the black victims of the military's discriminatory 'Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. Lieutenant Dan Choi, an Arabic-speaking linguist has recently been a very vocal critic of the policy during recent efforts to have the ban repealed, but it is very rare that the stories of African-American soldiers who have been discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell are represented in the media.


Davis profiles West Point graduate and congressional candidate Anthony Woods along with former Annapolis Naval Academy soldier Rev. Tommie Watkins. Watkins is a close friend and author of Living Out Loud, the book that inspired the title of this blog.


From L.A. Progressive:


Tommie Watkins was once the admired and twice elected class president at Annapolis Naval Academy but he was abruptly kicked out of the Navy in 1997 when it was discovered that he was gay. Watkins was then ordered to pay back over $86K in tuition and interest to the United States government. But Watkins summoned the fortitude to sue the Navy and won. Today he is a vocal advocate for the repeal of DADT.


“I believe in being honest and I believe in integrity”


Although he did not fully become aware of his sexuality until his college years, Anthony Woods explains that if he had known earlier, he still would have joined the Army. “I wanted to serve my country and I wanted an opportunity to get a quality education and I wanted to serve in the military.” But his childhood dreams would soon come crashing to an end after he struggled for six months before coming to the conclusion that he could no longer serve in silence under DADT.


“I knew I was different at the age of eight, but did not know what to call it until I was twelve” explains Tommie Watkins Jr. But that did not stop Watkin’s burning desire to join the armed forces. “I joined the military believing that as long as I did not tell they could not ask and I would not be unfairly discriminated because of my sexual orientation.”


Soon that dream would be horribly dashed when Watkins met and dated a fellow midshipman in the US Naval Academy. Most people knew about their relationship and often joked about it, but the teasing would soon prove be too much for his partner, who reported Watkins to their superiors.


“He said I would hang around him and would spend too much time around him” and that “I was trying to make him gay.” But this is where the story begins to get a little tricky. Under the homophobic and sometimes witchhunt climate of DADT, Watkins would soon be railroaded out of the Navy although technically he did not violate DADT policies.


“In my case they didn’t ask and I didn’t tell, but they harassed me and pursued me and threw me out of the Navy and then said, by the way, here’s a crippling debt to add.” Watkins vividly recalls that he was forced to resign because the Navy JAG threatened to prosecute him for sexual harassment based on the claim of wanting to spend too much time with another midshipman. This midshipman Watkins feels was actually struggling to come to terms with his own sexuality and in a desperate attempt to throw off suspicion, reported Watkins as gay instead.

Patrik- Ian Polk, the talented filmmaker and creator of the groundbreaking black gay television series Noah's Arc is adding a new credit to his resume as one of the newest members of the rock band Fol Chen.


You may remember hearing Fol Chen's single "Cable TV" during the love scene montage with Noah & Wade in the hit indie film Jumping The Broom.


Polk who is now a full fledge member of Fol Chen and sang lead vocals on "The Idiot" which appears on The Jumping The Broom soundtrack has just released "The Beautiful Ones" via Spin Magazine as a tribute for the 25th anniversary of Purple Rain.





"Purplish Rain" contains covers from one of Prince's most successful albums of all time including "Let's Go Crazy", "I Would Die 4 U", and the controversial "Darling Nikki" that led to the labeling of CD's with the parental advisory label.


Spin readers will be able to download the full album when they purchase a copy of the July issue. Polk and Fol Chen are currently performing spot dates in London and will be embarking on a European tour in September. Get into their cover of "The Beautiful Ones" below.



The Beautiful Ones (Mastered) - Fol Chen & Patrik-Ian

The internet was abuzz this morning as nude photos leaked of aspiring model/actor Dorian Standberry formerly of BET's College Hill Atlanta. Apparently an enemy of Standberry hacked into his private e-mail and twitter account and posted the x-rated photos of the reality television star for over four thousand of his followers to view online.


The photos of Standberry left absolutely nothing to the imagination and captured the "celebrity" and every inch of his manhood on camera. But not only was he exposed but his personal Hollywood contacts including the private phone numbers and addresses of Tyson Beckford, Solange Knowles, Vanessa & Angela Simmons, and Megan Goode were also caught up in this Monday morning scandal. Ouch!


Standberry has repeatedly denied rumors that he is gay since his departure from College Hill. Shock jock Charlamagne and sidekick to Wendy Williams interviewed Standberry earlier this morning and was far from nice to the fallen "star". Get into the interview here.


Standberry's Twitter account has since been closed. The PG-13 shots are posted above. If you want to see the completely nude photos then click here (NSFW). Luckily for Standberry he's a beautiful and well endowed man. If Playgirl were still around they'd scoop him right up.

For those of you who make Living Out Loud with Darian apart of your daily blog reading allow me to extend my sincere gratitude. I've been writing this blog for over three years now and it's truly a labor of love. You may have noticed that there are days when there are multiple posts throughout the day and other times when I'm only able to update every other day. I take pride in the content found on this site and believe in quality over quantity.


There is only one person steering this ship, no assistants or ghostwriters. In addition to writing this blog I also maintain a full time day job, in a perfect world blogging would pay the bills. Not to forget working to make sure my partner is not neglected by the hours I spend away from home traveling and in front of my computer.


It's all one huge balancing act that I gladly embrace, but I'm realizing that I'm human and it's only so much the human body can take before it inevitably burns out.


So going forward I've vowed to listen to my body, slow down, and sleep more. This weekend will be a time to rest, but everyday next week I'll be Living Out Loud, let's do it together. Until Monday...

There's no denying it. President Obama promised the LGBT community that he would be a "fierce advocate" for civil rights for LGBT Americans and to date none of those promises have come into fruition. The Obama Adminstration has no plan to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell, the so-called "Defense of Marriage Act" is still being enforced, supported by an insensitive and highly offensive brief issued late last week by the Department of Justice that compared same-sex relationships to pedophilia and incest, and The Employment Non-Discrimination Act(ENDA) is still in limbo.


Many in the gay community are outraged, and rightly so. But are African-American LGBT's willing to give Obama a pass on his poor leadership on gay rights simply because he's the first African-American President?


Don't hold back. Discuss.

For those of you who can't get enough of loldarian.com favorite Ibrahim Baaith here's more images of the gorgeous model shot by Joseph Bleu.


The last time Baaith graced the site he was pictured among the cast of BET's forthcoming reality series Model City. Fans of his work will be able to get a glimpse into the reality of working as a male model of color in the highly competitive modeling industry when the show premieres later this year on BET.


Baaith's incredibly good looks have gained him quite a bit of attention in the blogosphere as his star continues to rise. He is represented by Red Model Management NYC.







h/t ka-os

Update: This book signing has been rescheduled for June 20, 2009 at 2PM at Outwrite Bookstore.


Emerging black gay author Marcel Emerson descends upon Atlanta on June 18th to read and sign copies of his literary debut "My Eyes Are Green." Emerson will bring his tale of passion, pain, and the promise of love to Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse, Atlanta's premiere bookstore catering to the LGBT community on Thursday night at 7:30 PM.


My Eyes Are Green is a captivating story that includes both straight and gay characters. Emerson's incredible ability to command the readers attention remains consistent throughout this page turner. For a full synopsis click here.





Marcel Emerson currently resides in Washington, D.C. and earned a Master's degree in Business Administration from Trinity University. My Eyes Are Green is his first novel and Thursday's appearance will be his first at Outwrite Bookstore. If you're in Atlanta make sure you go out and support one of our own as he shares his gift with the community.


Marcel Emerson's debut novel My Eyes Are Green


Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:30 p.m.


Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse


Atlanta, Georgia

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of interviewing one of the hottest female groups to hit the scene in a long time. Lyndriette, Seven, Audra, and Brave(from l to r) make up the talented female quartet Richgirl. These ladies are creating considerable buzz in the industry with the release of their first single "He Ain Wit Me Now(Tho). A product of mega-hit producer Rich Harrison (Amerie, Beyonce, Mary J. Blige), these ladies have all of the ingredients needed to become the next big thing.


We chat about the creation of Richgirl, the inevitable Destiny's Child comparisons, and the importance of having and embracing their gay fans. The ladies also break it down a cappella laying to rest any speculation they're not the real thing.


Get into the interview below!


Many thanks to Gyant, Brandi Hunter at Jive Records, and Jevon Peak of Peak Publicity.

This story is one for the books. The New York Post is reporting the marriage of Hakim "Kimah" Nelson (pictured right) and his husband Jason Stenson(pictured left) who were married on May 26, 2009. The couple managed to obtain a legal marriage license in a state that doesn't allow gay couples to wed. A marriage equality bill is currently waiting to be brought to the floor for a vote in the New York Senate.


The New York Post:


The plucky couple filled out their marriage application online at the Apple Store on 14th Street in May. A few days later, they went to the City Clerk's Office on Worth Street to complete the form and get their marriage license.


Nelson -- who goes by the name "Kimah" and hopes to one day have surgery to become a "full female" -- wore an orange dress and white leggings, his straight, brown hair falling to his shoulders.


The gullible clerk didn't seem to notice that both Nelson, 18, and Stenson, 21, have male first names.


They both had to present identification to obtain the license. Stenson used his state ID card, and Nelson gave a state Benefit Card, which he uses to collect food stamps.


By a fluke, Nelson's ID card has an "F" for female on it, because the official who issued it in April assumed from his appearance that he was a woman.


But Nelson couldn't believe the license clerk didn't ask for better identification.


"I was scared. I thought they would ask for more paperwork from me because I have a male name," Nelson said.


Ten days after obtaining their license, the wedding crashers returned to the office for the ceremony. They were clutching their license and a pair of $10 silver wedding rings they had bought in the West Village. Nelson was in the same orange dress.


They showed another clerk at the marriage bureau their license, and he gave them a number and told them to wait.


Then a third city official, Blanca Martinez, took their IDs and the license. She printed out the marriage certificate and performed the quick ceremony, pausing to ask Nelson whether she was pronouncing "Hakim" properly. A friend served as a witness.


As they walked out of the building hand in hand, Jason said to his new spouse, "I think we just made history."


The bureau is currently deciding what steps to take regarding the license or any others that may have been issued improperly, adding that Stenson's and Nelson's is not valid.


Stenson, who has two children by his former domestic partner, does not consider himself gay. He sees his new spouse as a woman.


For now, the pair is living as a married couple in a Brooklyn shelter.


"People in Albany can say, 'Look, it's already happened, so let's just make it legal,' " Stenson said. "We're all human beings. What makes me and my wife different?"

Decorated veteran, Anthony Woods, came out to his commanding officers during his second year at John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard University. After two tours in Iraq and a bronze metal, Woods was honorably discharged from the Army on the grounds of "moral and professional dereliction" under the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Woods is considered to be a strong candidate for a potentially vacated congressional seat in the 10th Congressional District of California.


Woods recently discussed his discharge from the military and the effect the discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy has on gay and lesbian soldiers on CNN.


Click here to watch Woods on CNN.

This post is cross posted by permission of Gyant at gyantunplugged.com


OK, so I have been on the fence all weekend about whether or not I was going to discuss the extremely disturbing pictures regarding screenwriter Dustin Lance that’s posted on the number one blog site Perezhilton.com.


For those of you who’ve been otherwise occupied, openly gay blogger, Perez Hilton got his paws on some explicit photos(NSFW!!!) of Academy Award winner Dustin Lance going down under on a former gay lover.


If the name isn’t familiar Dustin won an Oscar for Best Screenplay for “Milk”. Anyway, the photo’s are shocking to say the least. Dustin is photographed in all kind of comprising positions, no pun intended, and can even be seen engaging in unsafe sex practices. And while the images are salacious enough for any gossip rag, or gossip blogger for that matter, many are fuming over Perez’ decision to post such damaging pictures on his hugely popular site.


Recently declared an activist, Perez Hilton has been a staunch supporter for gay rights. We’ve all seen P-Nasty make the headlines as of late over his controversial position as a judge at this years Miss USA Pageant. The outspoken celebrity blogger has been very public about his disdain for Miss USA winner Carrie Prejean, and her anti-gay remarks believing that gays shouldn’t be allowed to enter into wedlock.


Perez recent mission has shifted the tone of his celebrity crazed blog site to be that of a more socially responsible and activist position. That is until early Saturday morning.


Now before I offer up my opinion I feel it necessary to state that I love blogging, particularly reading other peoples passionate opinions, and make it my business to publicly avoid scrutinizing other bloggers work and, or decisions. However, Mario Lavandeira [aka Perez' government], decision to air out an Academy Award winner was unacceptable, reckless and downright low down.


Perez’ posting has deconstructed his plight as becoming an activist for “the cause”. Pulling a move like posting Dustin Lance’s compromising pictures of him engaging in oral and anal sex to the masses does nothing more then perpetuate a stereotype about homosexuals that draws such strong reactions from people when it comes to equal rights.


It would be the equivalent of me pumping my fists for Barack Obama to become the first black President, but then post a sex tape sent to me from Barack’s past. Would the pictures of Dustin probably have hit the net and been a salacious read for many anyway – of course. But why would a top blogger, some say number one blogger, who claims to be so passionate for equal rights – sandbag a prominent member of his community?


I should note that I understand Perez’ position in all of this. I feel that his point is a lesson about accountability and making better decisions. I mean we should all know by now that trusting anyone to take pictures of you engaged in a sexual act , no matter what emotional feelings you may have, is simply a bad idea.


But with Perez having the influence to address the masses with a few simple keystrokes, to utilize his brand to perpetuate many peoples opinions that homosexual are nothing more than pillow biting freaks, this action might end up costing his brand more then first realized.


At the end of the day I am not defending the actions of a reckless adult. Lance has some serious damage control to do on his own.


But to be hit square in the middle of the face by one of your own, one who claims to be on the side of advancement for his community, makes you realize that at the end of the day Perez is about nothing more then clicks so that he can get checks. Making him nothing more then a blogger and opportunist who’ll abandon his plight to obtain his exclusives and get people talking. So far that one post has garnered over 1300 comments.


Plus, call me a crazy, but I don’t think the Academy is going to be amused by Mario going after one of their own.


Gyant says: Epic fail Perez!

I know it can be difficult getting moving on Mondays, so allow the beautiful Men of Inferno Dominican Republic shot by the amazing Carlos Arias give you a much needed boost of energy.


Many black gays and lesbians will flock to Atlanta over Labor Day weekend for Pride festivities but there is an alternative if you choose not to come down south. Inferno Dominican Republic is offering an escape from urban life to paradise through all inclusive travel packages to Punta Cana and the Dominican Republic.


And if the uber gorgeous models Timothy Felder and Daniel Norell featured in the Inferno promos are there then it's sure to be a trip to remember.


Self-taught photographer Carlos Arias is responsible for the smoking hot shots above. The men of Inferno will take over the island September 3-7. I'm sure it'll be worth the trip.


Get into a behind-the-scenes video from the Men of Inferno photo shoot below.





h/t Lonnell

If it wasn't clear why the number of people who attend church regularly are beginning to decline then this video may be a clear indication of why many believers are making a mass exodus from the church.


The video you are about to watch was shot during a worship service in Bridgeport, Connecticut where "allegedly" a young gay man named Frederick sought out church leaders to be delivered from homosexuality. The video was originally uploaded to YouTube in early March and mysteriously disappeared as word spread that the church could face a possible investigation for the incident, it has since resurfaced.


What you will witness in this video is a full on exorcism, videotaped by members of the church and posted to YouTube as a form of entertainment. Unfortunately, for Frederick this circus side show masquerading as Christianity has real consequences. Even the rabidly anti-gay "ex-homosexual" Pastor DL Foster of Gay Christian Movement Watch is condemning the church's actions:


"It is a very poor reflection upon the church and Christ to film this as it were some entertainment and treat the young man in the manner in which he was treated. We call on Christian churches to stop sensationalizing this issue in this manner and follow clear biblical examples both in dealing with the demonic and members of the church who struggle with unresolved same sex issues."


You might want to brace yourselves as your eyes and ears may bleed after you watch this.


A few quotes taken from the video by the good people of God doing "God's work".


"We gonna see Fred today...Fredricka gotta go"!


"I need you to open your mouth and fight"!


"It's in your mouth Freddie"! "Loose your mouth"!


"You homosexual demon, get on up outta here"!





Thanks Chris

Vote! Living Out Loud with Darian Nominated for Best Gay Blog: Best Of Gay Atlanta





The second phase of voting in Southern Voice's Best of Gay Atlanta has begun and Living Out Loud with Darian is nominated in the Best Gay Blog Category! You may vote once a day until July 1st. Click here to get your vote on!


Loldarian.com also recommends the following:


Non-Profit: AID Atlanta


Best Local LGBT Author / Poet: Christopher Beckwith & Yolo Akili


Best Up-And-Coming Activist: Michael Brewer


Second Sunday Atlanta Presents: 100 Most Influential Black Gay Men In Atlanta





There are Black Gay Men all over the city who never intersect or meet one another, yet their influence has a way of transforming our life. Send us an email with the following information (please copy and paste to email us at 100project@secondsundayatlanta.org):


1)Name of Black Gay Male who you feel is influential 2)Are they out and open about their sexual identity 3)Your contact information 4)Their contact information 5)How you define them as influential


D.C. Panel Hears Arguments On Gay Marriage Referendum





The battle over same-sex marriage in the District moved to the city election board yesterday as supporters and opponents packed into a hearing room to debate whether the city should put the issue on the ballot. The battle over same-sex marriage pits a coalition of largely African American ministers against the city's politically active gay community.


Californians Protest HIV Drug Cuts





Pat Robertson: Abuse By A "Coach" Or "Guidance Counselor" Or "Other Male Figure" "Made" Many Homosexual





Adam Lambert:" I'm Gay"


Miss California Carrie Prejean Fired


Chastity Bono To Transition from Female To Male


Lava Hot Springs In Hot Water For Not Giving Same Sex Couple A Family Pass


DJ Baker Interviews Author James Earl Hardy





The B-Boy Blues author talks about his career, same gender loving vs. gay, the highly anticipated B-Boy Blues film, and the accusations that he's anti-white. Get into this interview!


Solange Knowles: "Sometimes I Wish I Was Gay"





Solange recently announced via Twitter that she will be present at San Francisco Pride in a rainbow catsuit with a rainbow flag in hand. When followers mistakenly took her announcement to mean she was coming out of the closet, Solange cleared it up by saying, “sometimes I wish I was. Gays seem to have alllllllllllll the fucking fun!”


Isa Rahman by Joseph Bleu