Living Out Loud with Darian

No ladies and gentlemen your eyes are not deceiving you, that is Lil Wayne and Baby showing just how close they are by planting a big kiss on each other. Now correct me if i'm wrong, but this does not look like acceptable hip hop behavior.

Every rapper in hip-hop is undeniably straight... right? I'm not even suggestiing that these two are gay, but they are brave to allow the media to capture them sharing such an intimate moment, and in front of their boys.

Baby addresses the growing speculation around their sexuality in a statement given to eurweb.com . Go there to read his weak comeback.

A week ago I was driving on I-85 in downtown Atlanta and I looked up to see the above billboard on the freeway and I immediately thought to myself "only in the damn south". But as I did more research on these billboards, I learned that they were erected in many states across the country by the anti-gay group Exodus International .

I'm sure we're all slightly familiar with the group of homosexuals who swears that they've been changed or delivered from the
sin of homosexuality. Let's just get one thing straight, just because a man stops sucking dick doesn't mean he is now a new and improved heterosexual. Anyone can abstain from sex if they choose to do so, but that choice doesn't change your inherent sexual orientation.

These ex-gay ministries are scary and misleading. If you think your life is messed up before entering one of these psych wards, then just wait and see what life is like after you've been brainwashed to believe you're someone that you're not, then later realizing the feelings you had before are still present. Let's talk about all of the additional counseling you'll need in order to deal with all of the inner turmoil as a result of this bs.

I believe in free speech, we live in America. But I also believe when anti-gay billboards go up like these, the gay community needs to respond immediately, and my response is below.

Years after JL King went on Oprah to inform the world about this old but new phenomenon called "The DL", people are still talking about it, and my question is why?

Last night at Spelman College I had the opportunity to accompany my friend
Jonathan Perry to a town hall forum on which he was a panelist to discuss the effects of down low behavior on black women.

The event started with a powerful power point presentation that included alarming statistics for new HIV/AIDS infection rates among black women, research of a "gay gene", and believe it or not shots of Noah and Wade from Noah's Arc embracing each other. I wish you could have seen the reaction from the audience when these images flashed across the screen. My first clue that although Atlanta is progressive, it's still the south.

Once again black gay men were demonized as irresponsible men who were intentionally infecting their wives and girlfriends.

I'm personally sick of discussing The DL, it's just another cover up to a much bigger problem. Are there men who are living double lives ? Yes. But no one is asking why these men are not comfortable enough to talk about their same sex desires, or their HIV status? Have we created an enviroment where a brotha feels comfortable enough to come out and disclose his sexuality or his HIV status? I think not.

When are we going to stop allowing religion to influence every decision we make in the black community and "man" up and tackle these crucial issues head on?

The viewpoints of the panelists were all over the place. We had the woman who had been living with HIV for 20 years, the minister who was STILL living in the civil rights era, the brotha who became the unwanted comic relief for such an emotionally charged issue( I wanted to kick him for some of the stuff that came out of his mouth !), Jonathan, another woman who spoke very little but when she did she at least made sense, and an experienced psychologist.

I could go on and on about the misinformation or lack thereof my people have been fed for years about gay men and HIV/AIDS but there's simply not enough time in the day. Go to Jonathan's blog and read his thoughts.

However, I would like to share with you this hot mess that I came across on youtube the other day. It's a sad attempt at HIV prevention. What were they thinking?

No it's not Janet . It's Atlanta diva Jasmine Bonet . I came across this pic online the other night and I had to post it. I have never seen Jasmine perform live but from what my sources tell me her Janet Jackson impersonations are fierce!

You know anything that is related to Janet automatically grabs my attention. I can't believe how well she pulled off Janet's All For You cover. I have nothing but respect for any man who has the skill to recreate themselves into the opposite gender and have the end result look better than some biological women.

It's personally a task for me to shave my bald head every other day. All I can say to Jasmine is "Go in bitch, let have !

The pictures speak for themselves. I honestly don't feel a need to write anything for this post, but I know if I don't
Marz is going to let me have it later on. So there Marz.

I love a great comeback story and I'm praying to God Whitney is going to give us a good one. Do you see how healthy she looks? I almost want to believe Clive Davis learned how to use Photoshop and gave miss girl an instant makeover!

It only took her 14 years to realize Bobby wasn't good for her...damn I guess it's better late than never.

I can't wait to hear her voice again. I wonder if she can still pull off "I Will Always Love You"? If not, "I'm Your Baby Tonight will do. Years later and I still don't know what she's saying when she starts to sing all fast. If you know send me the lyrics so I can finally sing along.

I digress. I really do wish the best for Whitney, I want to see her regain her crown and I'm not even a huge fan. You know I'm counting down the days until the start of Janet's tour, but that's another post.

Ya'll remember crack is whack ! Welcome back Whitney !

The boys in New York City are getting ready to put a very different twist on ABC's popular daytime talk show The View . Clay Cane , Nathan Seven Scott, Nathan Hale Williams and others will be discussing relationships in our community at NY's LGBT Community Center on November 10th.

This is sure to be one great event. I'm overdue for a trip to New York. After I submit my article to Dwight on Wednesday I'm gonna need to celebrate.

I think I feel a last minute trip to the city coming on. But how in the hell am I gonna get the time off of work? Ummm....I think I feel sick! Lol !

From Deondray Gossett

Sorry my Atlanta Brothers and Sisters,

We were just informed today that The DL Chronicles, Episode: Robert didn't make it into Atlanta's Out On Film film festival! As some of you may recall, Episode: Wes premiered at this same festival last year to an overwhelming reception and dozens of accolades.

Going to the site imagefv.org and looking at this year's lineup, it looks as if short films that star people of color have been omitted from their programming.

I am asking that the fans of The DL Chronicles band together and flood their office with emails inquiring about The DL Chronicles.

Episode: Robert has been accepted into EVERY festival it has been submitted to, but the reason why we're fighting over this one in particular is because it is one of the only festivals of this caliber that gives us access to our biggest demographic in Atlanta: Gay/Bi Black Men and Women.

It seems as if this year's festival has suffered a "Black Out." Please challenge this festival's programming by requesting that The DL Chronicles be shown and any other short gay/lesbian film that stars people of color that you would like to be shown.

The email address is:
imageinfo@imagefv.org

The phone number is:
404-352-4225

The festival director's name is Dan Krovich

The National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association has just announced that they will be inducting late filmaker Marlon Riggs into the organization's hall of fame.

Riggs first gained notoriety with his controversial 1991 film "Tongues Untied", where he explored the lives of black gay men in a way that had never been captured before on screen. An uproar from social conservatives erupted when the film received funding from The National Endowment for the Arts and was shown on PBS.

He responded to the controversy in 1992 when he released this statement to the Washington Post, "People are far more sophisticated in their homophobia and racism now...they say 'We object to the language, we have to protect the community'...those statements are a ruse.".

Marlon won countless awards from film festivals all over the world including an Emmy award here at home.

He succumbed to AIDS in 1994.

I know what you're thinking. 40 never looked so good ! Tune in to see Janet on the Ellen show on November 2nd.

I have to give Oprah and E for effort. Her show is one of the most widely viewed shows on television , and I'm sure without a doubt she was instrumental in educating someone who didn't believe they were at risk for HIV on the facts about disease transmission.

My problem is the way black gay men are constantly being portrayed as demonizing, selfish, lying men who are only out to infect black women, but more on that later.

For once there was real talk about HIV/AIDS, transmission, treatment, and living with this chronic manageable disease.

The panel of HIV positive women included POZ magazine editor Regan Hofmann , POZ community outreach coordinator and activist Marvelyn Brown , and Women Alive treatment specialist Precious Jackson among others.

In a world where positive people are still afraid to disclose their status because of the stigma that's still attached to this disease, these brave women put their fears aside in order to educate complete strangers on the reality of HIV.

At one point in the show Oprah showed a clip of the late Peter Jennings in a focus group with a group of positive black men on "the down low" who had knowingly infected their wives. The usual blame game was played, but no one asked those men why they never felt comfortable to come out, why they were never able to speak honestly with their wives about their same gender feelings, hell... why they even got married in the first place.

I'm convinced that the rise of HIV infections in the black community is more than just people practicing unsafe sex, but the result of us being ashamed to talk about sex, sexuality, and the myth that this is just a white gay male disease, and because of this our people are paying the price with their lives.

I have to give Oprah 8 out of 10 stars, maybe one day she will be blod enough to invite a group of gay black men on who aren't on the down low to tell their side of the story. Wishful thinking.

Watching Ciara's new video today was a pleasant departure from the less original and innovative concepts that I've been seeing in videos lately, with the exception of Janet's latest "So Excited".

Ciara's new single "Promise" is actually quite good and she brings some major heat in the video.

It is no secret who she's been influenced by. I see the youthful sexiness of Janet's Pleasure Principle video and the hard edge sex appeal of Aaliyah's Age Ain't Nuthin But A Number video throughout this one. Unlike when Beyonce imitates icons and doesn't admit it, Ciara isn't annoying.

You wouldn't imagine that this video would have choreography in it by listening to the track, but it does and the choreography works.

Ciara is doing her thing! If the first single is a foreshadowing of what's to come, I will defenitely pick up my copy when the album is released in December.

"I'm not pulling any punches anymore. I'm black, gay, and I love the Lord...and you can't take that away from me! You don't have to associate with me, but you can't take my God or my rights away because you don't agree with me.

-As told to me by singer Billy Porter when referring to the current state of the black church


Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.


-By Robert Frost as told to me by Keith Boykin

If you were able to find my site today then let me say congratulations and thank you for taking the time to track it down.

In an effort to go "high tech" I purchased a new domain name for my blog and in the process screwed up the publishing of my site, so if you tried to log on using loldarian.blogspot.com you most likely saw a page that looks nothing like mine.

You can now visit me at loldarian.com or lol-darian.blogspot.com . Tell all of you friends and thanks again for hanging in there with me. Brace yourselves for the new year, Living Out Loud with Darian will have a brand new look!

The New Jersey Supreme Court voted yesterday to extend marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples in a 4 to 3 vote, ruling that denying us of this privilege is unconstitutional.

By ruling in favor of gay unions the court and the state is sending a clear message to the rest of America that our relationships are just as important and meaningful as any heterosexual relationship and should be recognized and protected under the law.

I'm excited that those comitted gay and lesbian couples, some of which have been together for 17 years or more will finally be able to participate in this part of the American dream that has been out of reach for far too long.

However, I do believe the political timing couldn't be worse with the elections only a couple of weeks away. I'm sure Karl Rove, the Bush administration, and the struggling Republican party is somewhere locked in a conference room plotting how to win this next election at the expense of gays and lesbians...again.

On Wednesday Oprah Winfrey will sit down with Magic Johnson and 6 women who are living with HIV/AIDS to discuss the reality of living with the disease and where we've been and where we're headed as far as prevention, education, and hopefully a cure.

HIV/AIDS activist Marvelyn Brown will also be a guest. Many of you might recognize Marvelyn from countless speaking engagements across the country or from appearances on The Tyra Banks Show and America's Next Top Model.

I'm hoping that the show will have an honest dialogue about what it's like to be infected and affected by this disease.

With bogus ad campaigns like the one in LA by The LA Gay and Lesbian Center, it's imperative that everyone knows that HIV/AIDS is not a gay disease, but a disease that can invade the lives of everyone regardless of sex, race, class, or sexual orientation.

I'm a little bit concerned that the group of people who are being infected in alarming numbers will not be represented on the show, black gay men. But then the more I think about it... it might be a good thing, we all remember what happend when JL King and Jonathan Plummer was on Oprah's show. Oprah's amazing at what she does but understanding black gay men hasn't proved to be one of her strengths.

I'm sure there will be lots to talk about after the show airs. To be continued...

Rumors were circling for weeks that Jermaine Dupri had been forced out of his position as President of the urban music division at Virgin Records. But today Dupri broke his silence and told the Associated Press that he had in fact quit. No direct explanation was given, but many believe it was due to Virgin not promoting Janet's 20 Y.O. album aggressively.

To date Janet has only sold 443,000 copies of her latest album, All For You sold 605,000 copies in it's first week.

I always thought Janet's fan base was large enough to catapult any of her albums to the number one position. So has her fans abandoned her? I own 20 Y.O. and I personally think it's one of Janet's best albums. But then again, I'm a die hard fan and she could release an album of nursery rhymes and I would still buy it.

It baffles me that a woman who has impacted the music industry and influenced the sound and look of so many artists today(Beyonce, Ciara, Monica, Brandy, Mya, just to name a few) is receiving such enormous backlash, all because for 3 seconds on a Sunday afternoon we were reminded that breasts are on the female body.

Funny, I bet the infamous wardrobe malfunction would have never been a scandal if it had taken place in Europe. Only Americans have sex and contribute to a billion dollar
porn industry but are ashamed of their sexuality.

Did you really think I wasn't going to post anything new today? I took the weekend off but I couldn't start the week without
updating this site.

My writing assignment for Clik magazine and a few other projects have required my immediate time and attention, placing my blog on the backseat for a little while.

My friends and one special individual in my life seems to think I'm addicted to blogging, and you know what, I agree. I would much rather suffer from this addiction than drugs or alcohol, but I digress.

On Sunday I had the opportunity to attend The Vision Church of Atlanta and each time the service gets better and better. I will try to refrain from getting "preachy" but Rev. O.C. Allen's message really hit home for me and my friends(family) who accompanied me to church.

One point that he made that I think will always stick with me in reference to life, my relationship with God, my career(especially the one that's budding right now !) and my sexuality is this, allow me to paraphrase:

The enemy wants conflict to enter into your garden(your life), he wants you to deny who God has designed you to be in order to bring chaos into your life. It takes an individual who truly loves the Lord to see the reflection of God in himself, despite what some in the world may say.

I'm not sure if everyone who reads my blog is spiritual or answers to a higher being, but I do, and I was moved to share this experience with you. It's up to you whether you receive it or dismiss it, but it would have been irresponsible on my part to only share selective sides of my personality, and not expose a rare message of self love from within the walls of a black church.

I've chosen a great clip from one of my all time favorite films CAMP for you to view. It speaks to me on so many different levels. I pray that it will give you the courage to face whatever obstacle life may bring your way.

Happy Friday everyone ! This blog has only been in existence for a very short time, 5 months to be exact, and I must say the past 5 months have been rewarding, enlightening, and at times overwhelming but above all else a blessing.

I will be taking some time off from writing on Living Out Loud to concentrate on an assignment I've just received from Clik magazine.

I look forward to completing this project and sharing it with you guys inside the amazing Clik publication.

I will return to post intermittently next week. Until then continue to live your lives out loud !

I know I wasn't the only person totally dissapointed by the season finale of Project Runway last night. I feel like I've wasted my time by tuning into the show each week to only have the crown stolen by that punk rock Gwen Stefani wannabe personal stylist Jeffrey !

I have to tell you that I didn't even see this one coming. I along with the rest of black America was rooting for Michael Knight, not just because I wanted to see a black man win(finally) but because he is a very talented designer and extremely likeable.

If Jeffrey is talented I never noticed because his arrogance constantly upstaged his work.

I think what upset me the most is that Michael was the first contestant to be eliminated, he definitely deserved to be in the final two along with Uli.

I have to give credit where credit is due and say Uli's collection was superior to every other collection that walked the runway. I was certain that she was going to come out on top, but noooooo the wack ass judges gave it to Jeffrey !

I think next season they need to do it American Idol style and allow the American people to decide, because they obviously aren't capable of choosing a designer that is well rounded and capable of creating pieces that every woman would wear.

I love me some Heidi Klum, but I'm starting to feel the same way about her as I do about Tyra . The good news is that they will all have amazing careers as a result of the national exposure from this show. I'm sure there will be ghetto fabulous couture gowns by Michael Knight in a store near you in the very near future.

Last question, Is Ms. Brandy Norwood aiming to become Mrs. Michael Knight? I wonder if she paid for his new braces? LOL

CLIK HONORS / Elite 25

Beginning this year, Clik Magazine, America’s #1 gay publication for men of color, celebrates individuals, tagged the CLIK HONORS / Elite 25, in it’s December 2006 Issue. Clik Magazine will launch CLIK HONORS / Elite 25 with a special awards reception. The event will take place Saturday November 25th 2006 at the Fabulous Fox Theatre, Atlanta, GA

Clik will celebrates 25 individuals, through their everyday lives, talents, causes and campaigns pave the way for the gay community. They prove to the rest of the world that gays are significant contributors to all of society and their accomplishments deserve recognition.


What: CLIK HONORS / Elite 25
When: Saturday November 25th, 2006
Who: Hundreds of Decision Makers, Opinion Leaders and other individuals
in the Gay community In Attendance
Where: Fabulous Fox Theatre, 660 Peachtree Street NE, Atlanta GA



Sponsorship Levels & Benefits

Presenting $7,500+
Recognized in all media announcements as Presenting Sponsor
2-Page advertisement in Event Program Booklet
Opportunity to disseminate product/information to our guest
Name/Logo On Invitation
Prominent placement of Banner/Logo Signage At Event
1-time access to our exclusive email list to showcase your product/services.
Logo/Name on National Print Ads and Flyers
Your Link on http://clikmagazine.com Website thru December 31st 2006
Special Recognition On Stage At Event
10 Tickets To The Event


Platinum $5,000
C-I above
Full Page Ad In Program Booklet
8 Tickets To The Event


Gold $3500-4,999
D-I above
1/2 Page Ad In Program Booklet
6 Tickets To The Event


Silver $2000-3,499
E-I above
1/4 Page Ad In Program Booklet
4 Tickets To The Event


Bronze $1000-1,999
G-I above
Listing In Program Booklet
4 Tickets To The Event


Guardian $500-999
H-I above
Listing In Program Booklet
2 Tickets To The Event


Category Sponsor $500 (By Invitation)
Listed Online As Category Presenter
Special Recognition On Stage As Category Presenter
Listing In Program Booklet As Category Sponsor
Company Information Listed With Award Recipient
2 Tickets To The Event


Individual Sponsors — Friends Of Clik:
• Friends For Life - $250 – 4 Tickets and Listing in program booklet and online
• Best Friends- $100 – 2 Tickets and Listing in program booklet and online
• Good Friends - $50 – 1 Ticket and Listing in program booklet and online




CATEGORIES

Television
Actors, producers, directors, writers, etc.

Performance Art
Dance, theatre, male/female illusionists, etc.

Music
Singers, songwriters, composers, producers, etc.

Film
Actors, producers, directors, writers, etc.

Visual Arts
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Business
Outstanding businesses, promoters, promotions groups etc.

Politics
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Haven't subscribed to Clik magazine yet? Click here to do what you should have done a long time ago. It's ok... better late than never.

Ok so you're gonna have to bare with me as I get a few things off my chest. Let me preface this post by saying I'm mad as hell ! Let's start with Mark Foley and the republican opportunists on Capitol Hill.

Mark's behavior has nothing to do with homosexuality, the man is a pedophile! Since Mark Foley's dirt has surfaced( Republican dirt I must say that was not a secret in Washington) he has blamed his illegal behavior on everything but the devil. First it was his addiction to alcohol, then it was his "problem" with homosexuality, now reports have surfaced that he was abused by a priest as a teenager. This is such a sad attempt on his part to repair his tarnished image and to gain public sympathy.

But what pisses me off the most is the constant comparisons of homosexuality to pedophilia by members of the Republican party. They would like the American public to believe that all homosexuals are out to hurt "the children", ( this tag is getting old and I really need them to come up with some new bullshit !) and Mark Foley's behavior is a result of his being gay. I don't know if I'm more upset by these outrageous claims or that some people who will hear this garbage will actually believe it.

Michael Sandy and The HRC:



Days have gone by since hate crime victim Michael Sandy was beaten, robbed, chased into speeding traffic, struck by a car, left to die along side the road, hospitalized with severe brain damage, and was later removed from the respirator that kept him alive. Meanwhile, our black leaders have been completely silent after one of our own has been taken away from us and the HRC has looked in the opposite direction as if a black gay man was not murdered because of his sexuality and no doubt his race as well.

Does the name Matthew Shepard ring a bell? The entire world stopped when his murder happend 8 years ago. It was on the cover of every major newspaper and magazine and the HRC was determined to seek justice for Matthew and his family. Where is the HRC now and where is the outcry of anger and justice for Michael Sandy? The double standard makes me sick. Not only do we have to deal with homophobia from the black community but we have to deal with racism from within the gay community.

Head over to jasmynecannick.com to read her thoughts on this issue. I'm with you on this one Jasmyne, something needs to be done.

Just when I thought the far right wing extremists had lost their minds by proposing a federal marriage amendment to ban same sex marriage in America, then losing horribly each time the amendment has gone to the floor for a vote, I came across this piece of garbage online last night that I found to be humorous and deeply troubling at the same time.

Dated on May 16, 2006 the following letter was written by Thomas McClusky of the Family Research Council to his local state representative to urge an amendment to cut the funding for the
National Endowment for the Arts .

May 18, 2006

Representative
MERGEFIELD "ADDR_1" US House of Representatives
MERGEFIELD "CITY" Washington, MERGEFIELD "STATE" DC 20515

Dear Representative:

On behalf of Family Research Council and the families we represent, I want to urge you to vote in favor of Congressman Bob Beauprez’s amendment on the National Endowment for the Arts to H.R. 5386, Department of the Interior, Environment, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act, 2007. Congressman Beauprez’s amendment decreases $30 million in funds from the Nation Endowment for the Arts and increases by $28.7 million in funds for the Wildland Fire Management to be used by the U.S. Forest Service for thinning projects to reduce the threat of catastrophic wildfires. We support this amendment.

The NEA has consistently funded, produced, and distributed morally objectionable art that frequently included attacks on religion, traditional art forms, and families. The NEA has also been a forum for the promotion of homosexuality, pornography and other sexually explicit material.

We will strongly urge you to support this pro-family amendment. Family Research Council will be scoring this vote in our scorecard for the Second Session of the 109th Congress to be published this fall.

Sincerely,

EMBED MSPhotoEd.3
Thomas McClusky
Vice President of Government Affairs
Family Research Council

I can almost not believe what I've just read ! But this urgent letter is coming from the same group of people who have the same belief system as the "traditional" bigots Rev. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. If you remember these were the same men who blamed the events of 9/11 on the homosexuals.

I was a scholarship receipient from the NEA in 1998 for achievements in dance and musical theater performance and I believe it goes without saying how important the arts and the NEA is in the lives of so many young people.

It has been proven that the education of a child is greatly enhanced when the arts is apart of his/her curriculum. The outrageous claims by the Family Research Council that the NEA promotes homosexuality, pornography, and sexually explicit material is yet another example of how these people will pull bogus claims out of their ass to serve their own twisted homophobic agenda.

Obviously they haven't heard of the saying "Art imitates life", my guess is that's why they're so upset.

The broadway sensation A Chorus Line has returned to the New York stage to dazzle audiences again with Micahel Bennett's amazing choreography.

Originally staged on the Shubert Theater Stage in 1975, A Chorus Line ran for 15 years and became apart of a list of musicals that shaped American musical theater forever.

My introduction to A Chorus Line was through the movie in 1985.

Even at such a young age I was captivated by the dancers and their experiences in show business, somehow even then I knew performing was my destiny, but it was Gregg Burge who played the part of the energetic dancer Richie who held my attention the longest.

In the current Broadway production the role of Richie is played by dancer James T. Lane . I had the pleasure of seeing James in a production of Dreamgirls in Philadelphia last winter and he turned in amazing performance as the featured male dancer.

It was my hope to secure an interview with James for this site, but unfortunately being in a hit broadway show leaves you with very limited time for activities that aren't mandated by the production staff. I've had the pleasure of speaking with James in person and over the phone a few times and he is as genuine in person as he comes across on stage.

On the show's website each cast member writes a production blog that allows them to share their experiences in the show with their fans.

James writes, "When you do what you love, people respect you. It was just my mother raising my brother and I at home. We got great support from my mother Star. My brother Terry was into the arts at the Meredith School too. But growing up living in the projects, wanting to be a dancer, was not the coolest. I was teased a whole bunch because of my talent. I had to fight a lot and usually came away with the bruises. But as I grew older and focused on getting better, the neighborhood kids started to respect me for who I was and what I was doing. I thought that would never happen."(James T. Lane)

Having experienced the same teasing growing up as a black male dancer in a social environment where it's expected of every black boy to run around with a ball in his hands, I can totally relate to this experience.

So if you're planning on making a trip to the big apple or if you live there, make sure you go and support one of our own on The Great White Way. It's a show you don't want to miss!