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20 comments | Friday, July 31, 2009

Log onto any of the popular gay hook-up sites, Black Gay Chat, Adam 4 Adam, Manhunt, etc and you're bound to read the following; "Disease Free U B 2" in just about every profile along with the standard "hood speech", penis size, and preferred sexual position.

But is this a form of sexual discrimination? One HIV positive man who wrote into sex advice columnist Woody Miller seems to think so.

"What is up with so many guys advertising their HIV-negative status in discriminatory terms like “HIV Neg- UB2,” or “D&D Free for Same,” and lots of other senseless statements in the same vein? That is so ten years ago! What would they do DIFFERENTLY if they DIDN’T know my status right up front? And since when does the word “CLEAN” refer to absence of HIV??? YIKES!"

If we are to believe the statistics nearly 50% of all black gay men are positive. So are we naive enough to believe that we've never slept with someone who has HIV or will never come across someone we've met online during a hook-up that isn't honest about his status?

Is it really necessary to say, “disease-free UB2” when one could easily say “Prefer HIV-?” And when you're meeting someone for a random hook-up how will you know for sure if they're being honest?

A wise gay mentor once told me to treat everyone as if they're positive and take the proper precautions. So what say you?

Don't hold back. Discuss.


Just as I was about to give up on last night's premiere episode of the second season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta the drama unfolded in a major way. The "internets" a buzz today regarding the explosive final scene involving housewife Sheree' Whitfield and her "very straight" party planner Anthony Shorter of S.T.E.P.S. Event Planning in Atlanta.

If you didn't see it then I highly recommend that you stop reading now and watch the clip here. There's nothing that I can write that can possibly set up what will undoubtedly go down as one of the best moments in reality television, you'll just have to see it for yourself.

But what's even more entertaining than the clip is the e-mail Shorter sent to gossip blogger and S.T.E.P.S Event Planning photographer Sandra Rose in an attempt to clear the air and proclaim his...uhmmm...heterosexuality.

Hi Sandra,

I am reaching out trying to get the facts straight. First, I am not GAY! Married with children, and love PUSSY.

Second, I was never hired by Sheree or Bravo to do a party. This event was for the Atlanta Music Festival, and the producer’s ask me to modify the event to be included in an episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, entitled Sheree’s Divorce Party.

I also consider myself to be a professional with a long standing resume. But, unless you have work with Sheree or had any dealings with her you wouldn’t understand, where I am coming from.

Thank you,


What's the old saying? Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

Thanks for an entertaining night of TV gir! Watch Shorter explain his side of the story in a response video posted to USTREAM after last night's show here.

5 comments | Thursday, July 30, 2009

Everyone's favorite reality show diva NeNe Leakes returns tonight in the second season premiere of Bravo's hit show The Real Housewives of Atlanta. ATL Housewives became America's guilty pleasure last year as we watched the outspoken NeNe go head to head with her co-stars Kim Zolciak and Sheree' Whitfield. Who could forget the infamous reunion show where Kim lied about having cancer and NeNe commenced to breaking out a can of whip *ss on her? Say what you will about Leakes but she makes for an entertaining evening of TV.

Leakes recently sat down with loldarian.com favorite and David Atlanta Magazine Editor Ryan Lee to discuss a new addition to the cast, Kandi formerly of 90's R&B group Xscape, what fans can expect during the new season, being embraced by ''the kids'', and why she doesn't like closeted gays.

From David Atlanta:

What’s the status of your friendship with Kim?

Well, Kim and I, we do have a glass of wine, but you’ll have to watch and see what happens.

And what about this beef between you and the new Housewife, Kandi?

I don’t know Kandi — I didn’t know her before ‘The Housewives of Atlanta’ and I still do not know Kandi. I filmed with her once when we were all in a group or something. I never got the opportunity to really know her, and I think Kandi pre-judged me.

She just judged me based on what she’s seen on TV, and the fact that she has a lot of conversations and hangs out with Kim a lot. I find that women who are very weak, they tend to judge ahead of time instead of getting to know you and finding out who you are for yourself, because the relationship I have with you may be very different than the relationship I have with Sheree.

You’ve been spending a lot of time with the gay boys in Atlanta and WassupNATL, what has that been like for you?

The kids, they absolutely love me. They always call me up to host their events and I absolutely love it. I didn’t know the gay community was going to receive me like that — I actually think I was a gay man in my past life. I don’t know what it is, I just have more fun with them than I do with girls.

Let’s be clear, I do not like the ones that are not out of the closet. I don’t know the situation, and I don’t know what it’s like to be a gay guy, but when they’re not out of the closet, it bothers me. So they can’t hang out with me, honey, unless they’re out of the closet because I speak out too much, I been done told on them!

I really like people who are real, and people who are just being themselves — that’s the kind of girl I like, that’s the kind of guy I like. Don’t be superficial, don’t put up any fronts, let’s just be real and tell it like it is — I love it!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres tonight at 10PM EST on Bravo.


Update via Nola.com: New Orleans police have arrested three women in connection with the fatal stabbing of an Algiers man in his apartment Sunday afternoon.

Perrion Crawford, Ventrice Battle and Regina Reddick have all been booked with second degree murder in connection with the killing of Eric Lee, 21, at the Jackson's Landing apartments in Algiers, said Officer Janssen Valencia, a spokesman for NOPD.

Family members of Lee said he was outgoing and kind, and were upset that information was released about the way he was dressed when he was killed.

Very disturbing news out of New Orleans. Eric Lee, 21, was fatally stabbed on Sunday around 4:15 PM in the Jackson's Landing Apartment complex in the Algiers neighborhood of New Orleans. Police have no suspects or motive at this point, although Lee was apparently in an argument with several women in the complex's courtyard before the stabbing.

Eric Lee born male presented himself as a female and was commonly referred to as 'Erica or 'Eyonce', according to friends of the victim. The Times-Picayune incorrectly reported Lee referred to himself as 'Beyonce'.

While it hasn't been reported that New Orleans police is investigating this case as a possible hate crime the victim's gender identity & sexual orientation isn't being ruled out as a possible motive by survivors of his attack.

"He dressed to the nines," said one man, who declined to give his name.

Carl Adams, 62, said he didn't know Lee well but often heard him arguing with other residents. "Probably because they made fun of him," Adams said.

The apartment complex has seen its share of violence in the past, including several shootings and stabbings, police said.

(Image via Google Maps)

Family and friends are captured in the picture above grief-stricken upon learning of Lee's death. New Orleans residents weigh in on yet another homicide to take place in the city post Hurricane Katrina, the ongoing racial tension, and the devastating effects of unemployment, homelessness, and a lack of education on the spiraling homicide rates in this thread on nola.com.

And of course there is no shortage of speculation when it comes to motive. Nola.com user newilson1:

You find out your boyfriend is in a
gay relationship and then you and your
homegirls stab the man who your boyfriend
was fooling around with instead of just
ending the relationship with the boyfriend.
For this all of you should go to jail
for life for being stupid hoodrats.

Nola.com user nigreen:

I heard that the guy was gay and he was playing cards with some girls for a dollar, he cheated, they got mad and stabbed him. The guy tried to defend his self by running in someone else's apartment and picking up a plant to hit them with, but he collapsed on the woman's kitchen floor. The woman said she watched him take his last breath.

While both theories are clearly speculative and not presented as fact, if there's any truth to them, sadly black men and specifically black gay men have fallen victim to similar acts of senseless violence in the past.


Earlier this week it was reported on loldarian.com the inclusion of a transgender female on the new season of America's Best Dance Crew and now we learn of another talented talented black transgender female on P. Diddy's new season of MTV's Making His Band. If you're like me and can only stand watching about 5 minutes of P. Diddy on screen then you probably missed this talented songstress.

Jaila Simms hails from Chicago, Illinois home of powerhouse Jennifer Hudson and wowed the judges with her rendition of Estelle's 'American Boy', despite singing in an obvious lower register. In a timely interview with The Advocate Simms opens up about her transition from male to female, growing up in a traditional black family, and her experience working with Diddy.

From The Advocate:

What was it like meeting Sean “Diddy” Combs for the first time?

Intimidating. Intimidating, like ... I don’t think I’ve ever experienced anything like that. I walked into the room and he sucked the life out of me. It was just, like, that kind of emotional, cathartic moment because everything I’d worked so long for was actually coming to fruition, with just one man in a room. It was then great to see him actually working on his own music and to see that he is an artist and has the same struggles everyone else faces. You know, he cries, he bleeds, he gets frustrated at times.

Did you always want to be a performer?

I did [laughs]! Ever since I was a little one. A little tot. I knew that music was my passion and my purpose for being here on this planet. I really feel like we all have a divine purpose, and, you know, at some point in our lives it’s revealed to us. Luckily for me, it was revealed at an early age, and music was it. I knew that stepping into the music industry was going to be hard, but I’ve always known that music was my love.

Did you have any transgender role models?

Hey, not really. I’m 27 years old, so I was growing up during the '80s. I was an '80s baby and there weren’t too many transgender people in popular roles in the media. Just recently, I’ve been looking up to people like Laverne Cox and RuPaul, who’s a female impersonator, but in the same vein. Also, people like [America’s Next Top Model transgender contestant] Isis and people that I can connect with on a personal level who are more in my generation.

Was your family supportive of your “coming out” as transgender?

I feel like, with all the things I’ve gone through, my family has definitely been there for me and what’s really important in our family is love. People can judge you -- society, even your friends on some occasions. But your family will always be bound by love. Growing up as a child and knowing that I might be more comfortable living my life another way, um, is definitely rough. But if you do have that kind of love in your life, you understand that they’re going to love you no matter what.

So they didn’t force you into therapy?

This is the whole thing, and I’m gonna keep it all-the-way real. I come from a black family that was born and raised in the church, so we’re deeply rooted in religion and in “doctrine,” but at the same time, there has to be a balance. My family, for instance, may not have always accepted me and may not have always liked my actions, even so far as my putting popcorn in the microwave instead of on the stove. But at the end of the day, we know that our love for each other supersedes that. If more people take that into consideration, you’ll have a lot less therapy patients.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about transgender people?

A lot of people look at transgender women as people who are overly sexual, especially in the LGBT community. I think people don’t understand that we’re just trying to have our outsides match our insides. It’s more than about sex. On a spiritual level, some people think their soul is caught in the wrong body. They’re just not able to be themselves. And I want society to know that it’s not based upon sex or image or wanting to be beautiful. It’s about wanting to be who you truly are.

Get into Simms' Making His Band audition in the video below at the 2:09 mark:

| Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Not feeling very well. Taking the day off to rest. Hopefully things will be back to normal tomorrow.

3 comments | Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Well even I didn't see this one coming. MTV is about to break ground again by including the first openly gay and transgender dance crew on the new season of Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew.

Vogue Evolution hails from New York City and is comprised of a fierce team of black and latino voguers who honed their craft on the ballroom floor. Now they're poised to take their authentic brand of vogueing to the masses when they compete for the title of America's Best Dance Crew. Make sure your DVR is set for the premiere of America's Best Dance Crew when it premieres on August 9.

MTV has already announced the nine crews who will be competing for the title and when describing Vogue Evolution this is what the network had to say; "Vogue Evolution are out, proud and determined to live their lives the way they want to. Their distinctive “vogue” style of dance mixed with hip hop makes this crew unique, along with working to educate others on AIDS/HIV awareness."

Having been apart of the professional dance world in Los Angeles, and knowing all of the ABDC judges personally, I have no doubt that Vogue Evolution will encounter it's share of homophobic critiques, but this is HUGE in my opinion and I'm too excited to worry about that right now.

Get into Vogue Evolution at their callback audition for the show below:


I knew there was another reason why I liked this kid besides his amazing dance ability.

If you're a fan of the Fox reality dance show So You Think You Can Dance then you're already familiar with the amazingly talented Ade Obayomi. Obayomi is currently among the final 8 dancers competing for the top prize, but something tells me fans aren't going to be talking about his dance skills this week.

Allegedly nude photos of the sexy dancer have surfaced on the popular website Guys with iPhones (NSFW), in which iPhones users post photos of themselves taken in front of a mirror with their phones.

Obayomi lets it all hang out. And while there is some doubt as to the authenticity of a few of the photos, the picture posted below is undoubtedly Ade Obayomi.

What is it with reality show contestants and nude photos? Hopefully this won't hurt Obayomi's chances in the competition or cause judge and creator Nigel Lythgoe to go on his second homophobic rant of the season.

Get into the NSFW pics here via Fleshbot.

7 comments | Monday, July 27, 2009

One would think the answer to this question would be a resounding yes after the success of Noah's Arc and The DL Chronicles, but sadly both of those shows have been cancelled and there's almost no black LGBT representation in prime time.

That may all soon change once Maurice Jamal's Friends and Lover's debuts on the small screen. A spin-off of Jamal's first independent feature The Ski Trip, Friends & Lovers stars Terrell Carter (yep, you read right), Jackee' Harry (227, Sister Sister), Kairon John (Noah's Arc), John Rankin (The Ski Trip), Ben Patterson (Noah's Arc), Debra Wilson (MAD TV), & Ray Cunningham (College Hill).

Friends and Lovers has been gaining quite a buzz during screenings at film festivals and Pride events across the country. Most recently at The Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian FIlm Festival where it was warmly received.

Bet.com television critic Michael Arceneaux recently chatted with cast member Ray Cunningham about the potential risk of bringing the lives of black gays and lesbians before a national audience and whether or not Americans are ready to see the black LGBT community depicted on screen.

“I honestly don’t feel even with a Black president that America is ready to accept a Black gay program", says Cunningham. It seems everyone is used to the co-starring gay characters with the two quick-witted lines. Our lifestyles are often made out to be spoofs but in the real world we have the same varying issues as heterosexuals.”

According to Cunningham director & creator Maurice Jamal is in the final stages of confirming a network that will be the home for his new series that will include LGBT as well as straight characters on screen.

Regardless if America is ready for this project or not, the images of LGBT people on television and in film should reflect the true makeup of the community. It's unacceptable in 2009 that many in the black community fail to recognize gay people of color exist and it's equally frustrating that black LGBT's have very few images in the media to identify with.

Will you be watching Friends & Lovers when it debuts? Get into a sneak peek in the video below:


Over the weekend groundbreaking America's Next Top Model contestant Isis King appeared on Larry King Live to discuss her transition from male to female on a show titled 'The Secret Life of Transgenders'. King caused a media firestorm as the first pre-op transsexual to appear on the popular modeling competition.

Sitting in for Larry King was sex therapist Dr. Drew. Also on the panel were celebrity trans woman Alexis Arquette, first elected trans mayor Stu Rasmussen of Silverton,Oregon, and Ryan Sallans, a female to male transsexual. .

King spent most of her on- air time attempting to explain why she prefers the term "born in the wrong body" versus transgender.

"Well actually I prefer woman because that's what I identify myself as", says King. But as far as the whole transition I prefer born in the wrong body because I was a woman who was born in the body of a male. As far as the term transsexual I totally don't prefer at all".

It's a shame King wasn't able to clearly articulate her views during her appearance on Larry King Live. The transgender community suffers from such a lack of understanding and is even marginalized within the gay community. Very few people even know how to address trans men and women appropriately during conversations and the media definitely lacks training when it comes to reporting on trans issues.

Get into the full Larry King Live episode below. Isis King's segment begins around the 11:00 mark.


Washington Post staff writer Darryl Fears profiles Bishop Rainy Cheeks of Inner Light Ministries in D.C. and the black LGBT community he serves. Many of which have been disowned by their families, rejected by the mainstream black church, and are infected with HIV or live in fear of contracting the disease.

From The Washington Post:

At Inner Light, members say they can be themselves. In the pews on a recent Sunday, a woman adoringly placed an arm around the shoulders of her girlfriend. A man with a linebacker's strong build sat near the front wearing mascara. And condoms sat in a basket near the door in case any worshipers wanted to grab some on their way out.

Safe sex is part of the message Cheeks preaches. Two-thirds of his 100 or so parishioners are gay and lesbian, a congregation that includes the young and the old; the healthy and the sick; those who are open about their sexual orientation and those who are more guarded.

They come to the church to pray for forgiveness and seek redemption. But many also come to share their experience of being black and gay, living and loving in a city where HIV and AIDS lurk in epidemic proportions in nearly every community.

One such person is Ronnie Walker, an HIV positive black man who hadn't previously disclosed his HIV status in public prior to visiting Bishop Cheeks' church.

"If you are HIV-positive, stand up," Cheeks commanded during a morning service at Inner Light in 1999. Walker, who had just moved to the District from New York, remembers fidgeting in his pew. I felt like I was in heaven," said Walker, who always heard homosexuality condemned from the pulpit of other churches he had attended. "The only place I feel safe is in my church."

He credits Cheeks with changing his life. The bishop told him to let God in and stop living in the shadows.

Walker was able to confess a deep secret for which he had long sought forgiveness. On the night of his honeymoon in 1973, he had slipped away from his wife to have sex with his best man. During his seven years of marriage, he betrayed her again and again.

The article continues to a paint a clear picture of the damaging effects of homophobia particularly for black LGBT youth, many of whom are at the greatest risk for HIV infection.

"Most messages . . . to young folk is if you're gay or lesbian, you're going to hell," Cheeks said. "So why take responsibility if you're already condemned?

Watch Bishop Cheeks and other D.C. LGBT leaders discuss the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the District here.

A Sanctuary from Hate Slideshow via The Washington Post

The news of celebrated black gay author E. Lynn Harris' sudden passing last week from an apparent heart attack while on a west coast book tour has shocked many who were fortunate to know him personally and thousands more who fell in love with him through his work.

It has taken me a few days to wrap my brain and my heart around this devastating loss. There will never be another E. Lynn Harris, he was one of a kind. I'm finding it extremely difficult to describe the impact his gift had on me early in life when I was desperately looking to find literature that reflected my experience as a black gay man.

As I reflect on his life and his death it becomes increasingly easy to mourn this monumental loss to our community, although he may not be with us in the physical I know his work will live on.

I feel incredibly blessed to have known E. Lynn Harris and to have had his support. Never in a million years did I think such a literary giant as he, whose books I read in secret before I found the courage to walk in my truth would befriend me. Deleting your number from my phone E. Lynn and knowing that if I called you would no longer pick up was a hard pill to swallow.

I know you're up in heaven having a party with James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, and Audre Lorde. You will be missed but never forgotten.

The Final Interview: E. Lynn Harris Talks Love & Basketball Jones on Loldarian.com


7 comments | Friday, July 24, 2009

Developing- Beloved author E. Lynn Harris has passed away at 54. Details regarding Harris' unexpected passing have not been released. According to this Arkansas website Harris was on a book tour of the west coast at the time of his death.

Harris was a personal inspiration, supporter of this blog, and someone I'd gotten to know over the years. He will truly be missed.

As information pours in I'll be sure to update this post. God bless you E. Lynn.

Update: A Random House executive has confirmed to The BV Newswire that best-selling author E. Lynn Harris has died.

Rod 2.0 Remembers E. Lynn Harris

Note: A special tribute to E. Lynn Harris on loldarian.com is forthcoming.


The battle to convert gays is headed to my neighborhood in the form of theatrical entertainment. "Once Upon A Dream", a stage play produced by Micah 6:8 Media, a Christian company, is gearing up for a short run at the 14th Street Playhouse in Midtown Atlanta.

The play is being discreetly billed as "a play about a young man balancing life in two worlds,"but is truly a story about a young man "in his 30's struggling with the sin of same sex attraction" according to Atlanta's Southern Voice.

However, in an email sent to a number of Atlanta area churches, the play’s director specifically describes the play as a ministry to try to convert gay people.

Chuck Bowen, the former head of Georgia Equality and the executive director of the Central Presbyterian Outreach & Advocacy Center, received the email July 23.

In the email, Toni Henson of Stone Mountain-based Micah 6:8 Media Ministry and director of the play, offered Bowen’s gay-affirming church four complimentary tickets to a preview of the play on July 25 as part of a deal to partner with the company “to reach out to 155 million practicing homosexuals as we launch this unique, bible-based Christian ministry through this dramatic stage play.”

The email goes on to say: “‘Once Upon a Dream’ tackles the tough Issues… 1) Is FREEDOM from homosexuality possible? 2) Can I be gay and Christian? 3) How is same sex marriage & the pro-gay agenda affecting the church? 4) What are the risks if my church does outreach to gays?”

Henson, the director, also says in the email, “Join us if you believe that God approved plan is relations between a man and woman in a legal marriage yet understand the need for outreach that is compassionate, loving, & carefully planned.”

When has there ever been compassionate and loving outreach on behalf of fundamentalists to the gay community? That last line is laughable. Also take note that "Once Upon A Dream" boasts an all black cast that will "minister" to a city with a heavy black gay population. Coincidence? I think not.

The play opens July 30 and runs through Aug 1. Get into the trailer below which conveniently includes a simulated male same-sex rape scene.


The Washington Blade has an incredibly inspiring story of Mervin Primeaux, a gay & hearing impaired dancer who has been invited to perform with Edgeworks, a unique all male modern dance company based in D.C. .

While life as a black gay man and a dancer may not be easy, try adding the challenge of not being able to hear the music you're dancing to. The audience claps but for Primeaux there is total silence. Yet, the audience never notices, as the deaf dancer seamlessly performs each movement and transition in unison with the rest of the performers on stage.

Washington Blade staff writer Joe Rendeiro asked Primeaux if there were any initial fears joining Edgeworks as a dancer with a hearing disability.

“Of course I was nervous when I first started,” Primeaux says, through an interpreter. “I was afraid of a communication problem … But, nothing bad has happened. I am inspired by them and they know where I am coming from. There is no boundary to my being involved.”

Primeaux wasn’t the only one who was nervous. Helanius Wilkins, the artistic director and founder of the company, who is also gay, says he had questions about adding a deaf dancer into the mix.

“In the beginning I was nervous … you have the fear of the unknown,” Wilkins says. “But he contributed something special within the make-up of the company, not just because he is deaf.”

Primeaux relies mostly on his eyes to make sure he’s in the right place, making the right moves at the right time on stage. It requires some modifications in the rehearsal process, both for him and the other dancers, and he carefully keeps his eyes focused and receives subtle cues from the other dancers — who are gradually picking up sign language.

Male dancers are often stereotyped as overtly flamboyant and weak causing many young men who are interested in training to shy away for fear of being judged or ridiculed. The hit movie and Tony award winning Broadway play Billy Elliot is based on this premise.

We want to look at stereotypes and shatter them,” Wilkins says. Our company is an example of men who are strong and vulnerable and who are not focused on sexuality first to express themselves.”

A few images of the men of Edgeworks via Tim Coburn below the jump:

And while we're on the subject of dance. Choreographer Laurie Ann Gibson gave dancers Brandon and Jeanine one of the best pieces performed on So You Think You Can Dance this season to Jordin Sparks' new single Battlefield...which happens to be the sung stuck in my head at the moment. Get into their performance in the video above.

| Thursday, July 23, 2009

A House Becomes a Home

D.C.-Wanda Alston House prepares to mark its first anniversary serving GLBT youth in need.

Victory Fund, HRC endorse Anthony Woods for Congress

Iraq war veteran and openly gay Anthony Woods has received the endorsements of the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund and the Human Rights Campaign in his race to represent California’s 10th Congressional District in the U.S. House of Representatives.

Outrage Over 180-Day Maximum Sentence and "Gay Panic" Defense in Killing of Maryland Man

Embarrassing Video:Traditional Marriage Crusade in New York 2009

Hip-hop shows why some in the black community fear LGBT's

Gays need NAACP in fight against bias

Taye Diggs on the set of the new season of Private Practice

Via @shondarhimes on Twitter. Season premiere October 1st.

HRC: Changing The Conversation on LGBT Equality & Faith

G Magazine Interviews Jason Steed aka Baby Gat from Noah's Arc

Photo of The Day: Solange Shaves Her Head

Introducing Shanon

26 comments | Wednesday, July 22, 2009

There's been a couple of poorly written and divisive articles written about the rampant racism that exists in the white gay community and the homophobia that exists in the black community, much of which does absolutely nothing in my opinion to bridge the divide, instead it further separates two groups of wounded and oppressed people who seem to be battling it out for a gold medal in the oppression olympics.

"It doesn't matter who was oppressed first or oppressed the longest, what matters is no group of people are ever oppressed".

So what is it going to take for black LGBT's to:

1) Stop waiting for white organizations to "reach out" to us to do the work that we're more than capable of doing

2) Come out and start challenging the homophobia within our own community

3)Stop wearing the terms closeted, discreet, private, and down-low as a badge of honor

4) Stop succumbing to the pressure to choose one part of our identity over the other as if our race and sexuality doesn't make us who we are

5) Stop pretending as if the gains and setbacks of the LGBT civil rights movement will only affect the lives of white gay & lesbian Americans as reason not to get involved.

Now I know none of the above applies to you, but this is a real problem, and not a single commentary written by any of the perhaps well meaning individuals (who managed to get their 5 minutes in the spotlight) proposed any solutions. And I'm personally sick of people rising to the occasion to fan the flames of racism and homophobia. So what say you?

Don't hold back. Discuss.


Now I'm just gonna give you a second to take the the title of this post in because I know for some "God- fearing" people(sarcasm intended) it could be considered borderline blasphemy. The title actually derives from the website Gay By God.net which is dedicated to providing an online resource to LGBT people of faith.

I stumbled onto a response video by Elder Joseph W. Tolton to the controversial Connecticut gay exorcism mentioned earlier on loldarian.com and thought I would provide an additional forum for his views to be represented.

Let me warn you that much of what Elder Tolton says is quite radical and if you come from the school of Christian fundamentalism you should prepare yourself to be offended.

How many of you who identify as gay or lesbian actually believe that your whole person should be celebrated? Not just the part of you society or your family deems acceptable but your entire being? Have you ever looked in the mirror and said, "I'm gay and it's good?"

Watch him frame in five minutes and thirty three seconds why who you are is a blessing and why the black community is entrenched in homophobia.


An early demo for the title track 'Discipline' off of Janet Jackson's last studio album has surfaced via That Grape Juice with lead vocals by R&B singer and mega hit producer Ne-Yo. The sexually charged S&M themed tracked was penned for Jackson by Ne-Yo and he seems to be channeling Jackson's breathy delivery quite well as he pleads to be "disciplined by his daddy".

"I need some discipline tonight...I've been very bad...Make me cry...Daddy make me cry".

Now this demo is in no way an indication of Ne-Yo's...uhmm...sexual proclivities. After all we saw the very hetero pics that conveniently leaked at the height of the gay rumors.

Wouldn't it be great if a closeted person in the industry actually came out and released a song like this? Listen to Ne-Yo's version of Discipline here.

2 comments | Tuesday, July 21, 2009

After a break out first season covering topics of interest to the black gay community, VH1 Personality Rob Smith (I Want To Work for Diddy) returns as host for season 2 of The Mocha Lounge on After Elton.com . The show has an impressive list of guests lined up for the new season and is extending it's reach to include GBMNews.com where it will soon be syndicated.

Appearing on the first episode of The Mocha Lounge is Rupaul's Drag Race Season 1 winner Bebe Zahara Benet. Benet talks about life after Drag Race, The Absolut Vodka Pride Tour, RuPaul, and of course the ongoing feud many of the queens had with resident diva Rebecca Glasscock.

Holding true to it's catch phrase; "gay pop culture with a twist", The Mocha Lounge will offer up some of the best and brightest our community has to offer this season including Demarco Majors(Shirts & Skins), Terrance Dean(Hiding in Hip-Hop), and Ray Martell Moore, and Roger Omeus (Finding Me).

Get into episode 1 below and be sure to lookout for future episodes on After Elton.com, DowneLink and soon GBMNews.com. Let's support programming made with us in mind.

More Gay Movies & Entertainment News

8 comments | Monday, July 20, 2009

I guess this is what we've been waiting on folks. Chris Brown finally apologizes for physically abusing Rihanna. Can we just collectively forgive him so this story can go away and they can continue bringing in millions of dollars?

Probably not, huh?

Go ahead and debate whether or not you think his apology is sincere or too little too late.

h/t Son of Baldwin


If you read nothing else today make sure you set aside some time to read Black America Web's article on the homophobic and often deadly climate for gays and lesbians living in Jamaica.

Loldarian.com has reported on Jamaica's cruel punishment of it's LGBT community frequently over the years and unfortunately not much has changed in terms of the islands attitude or the inaction by the government to step in and protect all of it's citizens.

Via Black America Web

Andrew, a 36-year-old volunteer for an AIDS education program, said he was driven from the island after his ex-lover was killed for being gay — which police said was just a robbery gone wrong. He moved to the U.K. for several years, but returned to Jamaica in 2008 for personal reasons he declined to disclose.

"I'm living in fear on a day-to-day basis," he said softly during a recent interview in Kingston. "In the community where my ex-lover was killed, people will say to me when I'm passing on the street, they will make remarks like 'boom-boom-boom' or 'batty boy fi dead.' I don't feel free walking on the streets."

Jamaica's most prominent evangelical pastor, Bishop Herro Blair, said he sympathizes with those who face intolerance, but that homosexuals themselves are actually behind most of the attacks reported against them.

Oh really?

"Among themselves, homosexuals are extremely jealous," said Blair during a recent interview. "But some of them do cause a reaction by their own behaviors, for, in many people's opinions, homosexuality is distasteful."

The dread of homosexuality is so all-encompassing that many Jamaican men refuse to get digital rectal examinations for prostate cancer, even those whose disease is advanced, said Dr. Trevor Tulloch, a urology consultant at Andrews Memorial Hospital.

"Because it is a homophobic society, there's such a fear of the sexual implications of having the exam that men won't seek out help," said Tulloch, adding Jamaica has a soaring rate of prostate cancer because men won't be screened.

I highly recommend you watch Batty Man, a brilliant documentary by Stephen Amos for a first hand account of life for gays and lesbians in Jamaica here.


From the man who brought us Charlene Cothran's highly publicized "coming out" as a new heterosexual we have more ridiculousness from Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network.

In an effort to no doubt fan the flames of homophobia in the black church and spread false information, Robertson has found his latest gay to hetero success story in Brenda Burton.

Burton's story is filled with the usual discredited stereotypes about the origin of homosexuality in an effort to prove to CBN's audience that sexual orientation is indeed a choice or at the very least a by product of one's environment.

From CBN.com:

“At the age of three, I was molested by my female cousin,” Brenda said. “I was molested in college. I was raped in college. And I didn’t love me. I had vowed that I would never let a man touch me, that I would never open my heart to a man.”

She developed a tough personality and began to dress and act like a man.

“I used to go out there and I learned how to work on a car. Everything that boys would do, that’s what I wanted to do,” Brenda said. “I didn’t want to clean up. I didn’t learn makeup. I didn’t learn how to put makeup on. I didn’t know.”

In her early 20’s, Brenda began to desire women.

“I used to love women. I used to lust after them everyday, all day,” she said. “And I was like, ‘I was born this way.’”

The ridiculous reasons given by Burton for engaging in the "gay lifestyle"(whatever that means) would be funny if it weren't for the number of people who believe that homosexuality derives from an overbearing mother, abusive father, or childhood molestation. I also can't help but notice how Robertson always conveniently finds people of color to share their "testimony" of conversion. Incidental? I think not.

Watch Brenda Burton tell her story in the video here. Prepare to protect your keyboard.

I've been notified by a couple of readers that they're having difficulty viewing the blog or the page is only loading half way. If you're experiencing any problems please drop me an e-mail at darianoutloud@mac.com describing the problem and which web browser you're using. Thanks!


Update 7/21/09 : Thanks to all who e-mailed yesterday with your issues. It seems the site isn't fully loading for Internet Explorer 6 users, but loads fine for Internet Explorer 7 users and those using Vista or XP operating systems. There were no issues mentioned for MAC users. Please try updating your web browser and that should fix the problem.

Also you can now access the blog via www.loldarian.com as well as loldarian.blogspot.com. A minor glitch that I should have fixed a long time ago. My apologies. Thanks for all of your kind words of support.



More news from across the pond. This time it's coming via the amazingly talented out gay filmmaker Rikki-Beadle Blair. American audiences may not be familiar with his name but if you're a Noah's Arc fan you're definitely familiar with Beadle-Blair's work as he collaborated with Noah's Arc creator Patrik-Ian Polk on many of the scripts for the second season.

Beadle-Blair and his production company Team Angelica are currently in pre-production for 'Kick Off', a hilarious, fast-paced feature-length comedy about a Powerleague 5-a-side match between a gay football team and the hardest straight team in East London.

Beadle-Blair has become known for exploring the lives of black gay men in his work through the UK hit television series Metrosexuality and on stage in the gripping play Faggamuffin written by John R.Gordon and the film short Souljah. "His work is a breath of fresh air", notes London based blogger Garcon' Stupide. Depictions of the many different, varied aspects of gay life are so often restricted to white, middle-class men.

Beadle -Blair uses many of the actors he directed in the aforementioned stage plays in Kick-Off, most notably the incredibly sexy and talented Ludvig Bonin (pictured below).

Get into the witty trailer for Kick Off below. The real action starts around the 1:40 mark.

(NSFW- Adult Language)


R&B songstress and LGBT ally Michelle Williams is proving that their is life after Destiny's Child for more than one of the group's divas.

London theater audiences and fans of the long-running hit musical Chicago are experiencing a treat as Williams steps into the role of sexy murderess Roxie Hart, the role brought to life on screen by Renee Zellweger in the 2002 Academy-Award winning film.

Williams' West End run began on July 13th at the Cambridge Theatre to rave reviews and will continue until August 22nd. She is no stranger to the theatrical stage after having appeared in the lead role in Aida on Broadway and as Shug Avery on the US Tour of The Color Purple.

Williams is a staunch supporter of the LGBT community having performed at several gay events as well as appearing as a guest judge on Rupaul's Drag Race despite her affiliation with the gospel music industry and the black church's often hostile attitude towards gays.

In an interview with London Tonight, Williams describes the feeling of becoming the first African-American Roxie Hart(on the West End stage?) and confirms the presence of her bandmates Kelly and Beyonce in the Chicago audience.

Get into a special clip of Williams performing "Me & My Baby" from Chicago The Musical here as well as a performance at G.A.Y. Heaven Nightclub via Black Gay Gossip in the clip below.

I embrace and celebrate all that I am. I embrace being African American. I embrace being gay. I embrace being an artist. I embrace being an activist, supporting the community, giving donations and making a stance with my art and what I do.

There are certain issues that we just have to start dealing with in terms of our communities: Education, the arts, dealing with gay issues.

I never came out. I never remember not being (gay). Straight people ask me all the time “when did you come out?” my answer to them is “when did you come out?”

“How do you know you’re gay?” they ask. “How do you know you’re straight?” I say. I think that there’s a time when everyone has to talk about it to their family, but the family knows, for god sakes. Every woman knows if she has a gay child. And that’s why it is so important for women to come together and resolve these issues about how gay people are being treated. How could you have child and deny that child human rights?

-Jonathan Green is an award winning paniter and was recently honored with the 'Key of Life' award by the NAACP. A resident of East Naples, Italy for over 20 years he now resides in South Carolina with his partner Richard Weedman.


Who needs Starbucks this AM if Max Philisaire shot by Elton Anderson is on the menu? Something tells me he would make even the avid coffee drinker skip their morning java and head straight for dessert.

Philisaire, a Haitian-American Army Combat Engineer veteran now earns a living as a personal trainer and model based in Los Angeles. He's the owner of Max Fitness and Massage and has appeared in print for Muscle & Fitness, on the runway, and in music videos for rap star Trina and pop group Danity Kane.

If you're looking for a personal trainer and you'd like Max Philisaire to... uhmm... give your body a good workout but you don't reside in Los Angeles, don't worry he does online and "phone consultations".

According to his Myspace profile he's straight...sorry boys. We may not have a shot at experiencing the goods up close but we can definitely appreciate them from far away, right?

Get into Philisaire at home in front of the mirror and in the gym here and here.

3 comments | Friday, July 17, 2009

Award winning ESPN journalist LZ Granderson weighs in on the controversial idea of whether gay is truly the new black in a new online piece penned for CNN.com. Granderson, who is openly gay, offers up his perspective on this sensitive issue where race, privilege, and gay rights collide months after the provocative Advocate cover was released posing the exact same question and after talk show host Tyra Banks dedicated an entire hour on the topic.

An excerpt via CNN.com:

When Proposition 8 passed in California, white gays were quick to blame the black community despite blacks making up less than 10 percent of total voters and whites being close to 60 percent. At protest rallies that followed, some gay blacks reported they were even hit with racial epithets by angry white participants. Not to split hairs, but for most blacks, the n-word trumps the f-word.

So while the white mouthpiece of the gay community shakes an angry finger at intolerance and bigotry in their blogs and on television, blacks and other minorities see the dirty laundry. They see the hypocrisy of publicly rallying in the name of unity but then privately living in segregated pockets. And then there is the history.

The 40th anniversary of Stonewall dominated Gay Pride celebrations around the country, and while that is certainly a significant moment that should be recognized, 40 years is nothing compared with the 400 blood-soaked years black people have been through in this country. There are stories some blacks lived through, stories others were told by their parents and stories that never had a chance to be told.

I highly recommend that you read the entire article. While I agree with most of what Granderson wrote in his commentary there is quite a bit that I take issue with. I'm left wondering if he was able to bring anything new to the discussion regarding racism in the gay community and the homophobia that exists in the black community. Have we not heard this all before? Maybe from Jasmyne Cannick but in a much harsher tone? How do we bridge the divide?

Openly gay retired NBA player John Amaechi sums up my thoughts on this issue in a recent interview with SWERV Magazine.

"The argument about and time wasted in comparing if the black human rights struggle is different or the same as the LGBT human rights struggle boggles my mind and once again, shows a total lack of nuanced understanding of identity. All sides need a slap. When minorities fight only the majority wins".