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3 comments | Wednesday, October 27, 2010




Earlier this month Bishop Jim Swilley, senior pastor of Church In The Now in Conyers, Georgia did what most clergymen would consider the unthinkable- he came out to his congregation as a gay man. Amidst tons of speculation and rumors Swilley tackled the issue directly and stood before his congregation and told the truth.


Video has surfaced of Swilley's coming out in which he debunks myths about gay men and the ongoing debate over sexual orientation being a choice or an act of nature. Swilley also doesn't shy away from the scriptures that biblical literalists use to condemn homosexuality and breaks down the historical context behind each scripture.


The video is about 48 minutes in length but is worth watching. I highly recommend that you sit and watch faith and courage in action. Swilley is definitely a rare breed. Can you imagine Bishop Eddie Long coming out to his New Birth congregation?


Watch the video below:


Watch live streaming video from bishopjimswilley at livestream.com



0 comments | Monday, October 25, 2010




Independent artist and rebel Brian Slade (formerly known as Tonex') has created an amazing song in support of victims of anti-gay bullying titled BSFF (Rated R). This man has no limits when it comes to creating music that evokes passion and reaction from listeners. It's been on repeat on my iPod all weekend in wake of the latest gay man to take his own life.


In BSFF Slade sings about standing up for yourself and taking back the power from bullies. Listen and download the track for free below. I've also included the lyrics in this post as every line is packed with power. FYI: There is adult language and the song may not be suitable for work.


Listen & Download here: BSFF (Rated R)


It's time to speak out boldly
stand up for our beliefs
Bullies are taking over
not just LGBT
can't believe what I'm reading
Now it's all on TV
Nobody's saying nothing
But you know that feeling


I was so scared to even walk around you
Loved to talk shit with all your friends all around you
Had to eat lunch by myself
But now I stick up for myself
Paybacks a bitch
Now watch me switch it up
Enough is enough


They called us
Butch
Stems
Faggots &
Fems
They called us
Trade
Queens
Sissies &
Freaks


I find it hard to believe
with our technology
we can't start educating
young people questioning
they love school but they hate it
and they can't say a thing
folks don't what they're facing
Same thing happened to me


I was so scared to even walk around you
Loved to talk shit with all your friends all around you
Had to eat lunch by myself
But now I stick up for myself
Paybacks a bitch
Now watch me switch it up
Enough is enough


They called us
Butch
Stems
Faggots &
Fems
They called us
Trade
Queens
Sissies &
Freaks


Stand up for yourself
You've got support now
don't let them beat you down
stand up for yourself
time to fight back now
if you don't know I''ll show u how


at school
at church
at work
at home
you're not alone
stand up
you're not in this fight alone


I was so scared to even walk around you
Loved to talk shit with all your friends all around you


I remember it like yesterday
calling me out my name
embarrassing me everyday
Payback's a bitch
Now watch me switch it up
We've had enough


They called us
Butch
Stems
Faggots &
Fems
They called us
Trade
Queens
Sissies &
Freaks they said


Stand up for yourself
You've got support now
don't let them beat you down
stand up for yourself
time to fight back now
if you don't know I''ll show u how


I wish a mutha fucka would try to call me out
Lemme see you get buck (x2)
I wish a mutha fucka would try to hit me now
Lemme see you get buck (x2)
I wish a mutha fucka would try bring me down
Get yo hands up get yo hands up
I wish a mutha fucka would try hurt me now


check it out check it out:


I got yo faggot
I got yo bitch
I got yo sissy
I got yo switch
I got yo fairy
I got yo dike
we gone get rowdy
Rowdy tonight


I wish a mutha fucka would try to call me out
Lemme see you get buck (x2)
I wish a mutha fucka would try to hit me now
Lemme see you get buck (x2)
I wish a mutha fucka would try bring me down
Lemme see you get buck (x2)
I wish a mutha fucka would try hurt me now
Lemme see you get buck (x2)

1 comments




"Believe me when I tell you that suicide is only a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This too shall pass...this too shall pass. What you're feeling today will not always exist. You will get stronger, you will get through it, you will get over it, and you will move on with your life. And the people who are in it right now who are making it miserable for you...who are making school unbearable for you will be a distant memory."- Darian


0 comments




Sad news to report as another promising life has ended prematurely. Joseph Jefferson of Brooklyn, New York expired on Saturday by taking his own life. The tragic news broke via Facebook over the weekend and very few details are known at this time as the mainstream media has yet to pick up the story.


New York City activist Nathan James tells loldarian.com that Jefferson was a 2002 graduate of The Harvey Milk School and took an active role in People of Color in Crisis (POCC) as well as Gay Men of African Descent (GMAD) organizations. He was also an assistant to LGBT event promoters Laurence Pinckney and James Saunders.


His last Facebook status message read: "I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called "social mainstream". "


Joseph Jefferson becomes an unwanted addition to the growing list of gay and lesbian youth who have taken their lives in recent weeks, nineteen year old Corey Jackson of Oakland University was found last Tuesday night hanging from a tree in a wooded area near his campus in Rochester Hills, Michigan. Raymond Chase, another nineteen year-old Black gay teen also died by hanging himself in his dorm room at Johnson & Wales University.


"As an advocate for LGBT youth, Mr. Jefferson surely made a positive impact on those he met and counseled. But this same nurturing and enrichment he offered to others, was absent in his own life to such a degree, that he felt the only way to deal with the pain of his existence was to end it," writes Nathan James via Facebook.


"What, then, will we do, collectively and individually? That next young man who is feeling overwhelmed, is already on his way to the top of that bridge. he's already fashioning that noose. He's already cleaning his gun. We cannot afford any more delay. We are the help, the only help possible in some cases, and it's already late."


Loldarian.com will keep you updated on this tragic story as more details become available. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Joseph Jefferson.

1 comments | Thursday, October 21, 2010




President Barack Obama becomes the latest high-profile individual to lend his voice to the Dan Savage created "It Gets Better" campaign designed to encourage young victims of anti-gay bullying.


In his video, Obama said: “I don’t know what it’s like to be picked on for being gay, but I do know what it’s like to grow up feeling that sometimes you don’t belong. It’s tough. For a lot of kids, the sense of being alone or apart, I know it can just wear on you. And when you’re teased or bullied, it can seem like somehow you brought it on yourself for being different or for not fitting in with everybody else. But I want to say is this: You are not alone. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t do anything to deserve being bullied, and there is a whole world waiting for you—filled with possibilities. There are people out there who love you and care about you just the way you are.”

0 comments | Wednesday, October 20, 2010




You may recall reading an interview with Samuel Brown, an openly gay member of Bishop Eddie Long’s New Birth Church earlier this month on loldarian.com after Brown granted an exclusive interview to BET News in which he publicly expressed his disappointment in Long for not proclaiming his innocence in the wake of sexual coercion charges being brought against him and New Birth Church by four young men who claim Long lavished them with gifts in exchange for sexual favors when they were in their teens.


Brown is the only gay member who has spoken to the media since the scandal broke.


“He was unable to say that he was 100 percent guilt free, and it was insulting to me to not come out and be straight forward,” Brown told BET News.


Brown, a member of New Birth for over seventeen years and a witness to Long’s history of homophobia including the infamous 2004 march in downtown Atlanta against marriage equality left many in the gay community wondering how he and other gay members of New Birth could continue to subject themselves to such anti-gay hatred and vitriol from Long. The questions and criticism were fast and furious.


Brown spoke exclusively with loldarian.com earlier this week to address why he stayed, his critics, and why he hasn’t returned to New Birth since the Sunday Long spoke publicly breaking days of silence.


SB: I was raised in a very large traditional religious family where both my parents were and are ministers in the notoriously brutal homophobic Church of God In Christ organization. I have always loved the Lord and the church & have always had a heart to worship and please the Lord. After years of feeling personally bashed by the church, I continued to fellowship with the “saints.” After moving to Atlanta to attend Morehouse College and finally joining New Birth years later; New Birth was a breathe of fresh air compared to where I came from. In spite of the negative attacks that came across the pulpit against innately born homosexual people; I was finally forced to rely on my strong convictions that my mentor Jesus Christ loved and accepted me just the way that I was made by God. Although I really tried, I could never receive those nasty messages from the traditional organized church that I would be “damned to hell”.





DA: How do you respond to other LGBT people who believe you're willfully subjecting yourself to gay bashing from the pulpit by staying at New Birth? Do you believe you suffer from any internalized homophobia?


SB: You can only bash the ignorant and uninformed. I use the word ignorant in the most respectful manner, which means, “badly informed.” No I do not suffer from internalized homophobia; perhaps I understand that I am my brother’s keeper.


DA: Have you personally spoken to Bishop Long and or his wife about your experience as a gay man at New Birth? Are they aware of how damaging religious sanctioned homophobia is for their gay and lesbian members?


SB: No, I have not had that particular opportunity; I’ve formally requested meetings with Bishop Long on several occasions along with sending a copy of my manuscript and finally a copy of my short testimony (Son of a Bishop, My Testimony) to Bishop Long via a couple of the senior elders on staff; I did receive one phone call from Bishop Long’s office acknowledging that they did receive a copy of my book, however the very brief conversation was interrupted advising that they would call me back; I have never received that return phone call. I have been following up with several phone calls, emails and my blog post emails to Bishop Long and much of his staff ever since.





DA: So you’ve been utilizing your blog as your primary method to attempt to engage Long on his homophobia?


SB: I feel that my blog posts have been effective to the point of Bishop Long changing his course of action on the homosexuality subject matter within the last 3 to 4 years by practically leaving it alone. I don’t know if he has been convicted by what I have been communicating to him and his staff or by his own personal escapades. Change is happening as we speak.


DA: Are you working alone to create change for LGBT members at New Birth or is there a coalition of gay members working collectively to create change?


SB: At this point I feel that I may have been acting alone. I would love to have a coalition of people to stand with me but I understand that it is not easy to put yourself out there against the majority if you have not found that inner peace. Currently, I have not been back to New Birth since Bishop Long’s statement addressing/side stepping the congregation regarding the allegations. I felt that he should have displayed humility since he was unable to say that he was not guilty of those very damning charges.


Since Samuel Brown granted the initial interview with BET News and the subsequent follow up with loldarian.com Bishop Long continues to be in the news. He now faces two new additional lawsuits unrelated to the sexual coercion suits; one involving an alleged $1.9 million loan he and business partners defaulted on for the purchase of a gym and a sexual harassment lawsuit by a former female employee of New Birth Church. Bishop Long is not named directly in the sexual harassment lawsuit.


Visit Samuel Bronw's blog Son of A Bishop here.

3 comments | Tuesday, October 19, 2010




Vibe writers Aliya S. King and Alex Martinez caused a flood of controversy last week over "The Mean Girls of Morehouse", an article written about effeminate gay men at Atlanta's prestigious Morehouse College who prefer wearing women's clothing versus the more traditional attire expected of male students.


The article focused on a small group of black gay men on campus who call themselves The Plastics. "Within the openly gay community at Atlanta's Morehouse College, there's a subgroup: gender benders who rock makeup, Marc Jacobs tote bags, sky-high heels and Beyonce'=style hair weaves. Can a man of Morehouse be gay? Absolutely. But can he be a woman?"


This was the lead-in for an article based on the controversial dress code implemented by Morehouse College faculty last year that made national news over it's explicit barring of women's clothing at the all male-campus.





Read the entire article here: The Mean Girls of Morehouse


Morehouse President Robert M. Franklin addressed the article prior to it's publication.


"As president of this institution, as a Morehouse graduate and as a father, I am insulted by what is to be published. Addressing our young men as “girls” is deeply disturbing to me, no matter what the remainder of the article may say. Morehouse has for 140 years developed men—men who are equipped to live and contribute to an increasingly diverse, global and complex world.


Let me be clear. I believe in the freedom of the press and its critical role in examining all facets of our society to foster reasoned discourse and to promote understanding of topics both popular and unpopular. We will not always agree with what is written. I disagree, however, in journalism that attempts to malign and distort, rather than inform and enlighten."


The students of Morehouse went further and brought their frustration out in the open by engaging in an intelligent and at times heated dialogue about the article, gays, and the image of Morehouse College.


Watch the video below:





h/t Drama Dupree

0 comments




The American Civil Liberties Union has filed a lawsuit on behalf of Mississippi Corrections Officer Andre Cooley who was fired when his employer discovered he was gay.


ACLU.org reports:


On June 14, while at home and off-duty, Cooley called 911 after his boyfriend became physically violent. Among the officers who responded to the call was Chief of Corrections Charles Bolton, one of Cooley's supervisors. After Cooley's boyfriend told Bolton that he and Cooley were in a relationship, Bolton told Cooley not to return to work before speaking with his immediate supervisor. The next day, Staff Sergeant of Jail Operations Donnell Brannon informed Cooley that he was being permanently terminated. Cooley asked Brannon if he was being fired because he was gay, and Brannon responded, "Yes."


"Andre's sexual orientation has no bearing on his ability to perform the job of a corrections officer," said Joshua Block, staff attorney with the ACLU Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Project. "It is well established that a public employer cannot fire an employee based on irrational fears and prejudices against gay people. But Andre's case is also a reminder that people in Mississippi who work for private companies are left almost entirely unprotected from anti-gay discrimination. There is currently no state or federal law protecting against employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation."


This is a prime example why The Employee Non -Discrimination Act (ENDA) needs to be passed in Congress.


Watch Cooley tell his story in the video below:


2 comments




Nine year-old Willow Smith finally debuted her highly anticipated video for the smash single 'Whip My Hair' from her forthcoming debut album yesterday on BET's 106 & Park to enormous praise.


The Ray Kay directed video is age appropriate and filled with people of all ages whipping their hair with Miss Willow. Choreographer Hi-Hat (Missy Elliot) has once again worked her magic when it comes to creating choreogrpahy for younger dancers.





LGBT audiences will be thrilled to know that transgender dancer and ballroom legend Leiomy Maldonado (America's Best Dance Crew) appears in the video as a teacher who appropriately teaches the kids how to whip their hair.








Willow Smith is doing her thing and we couldn't be more proud of her! Get into the new video and Smith's appearance on 106 & Park below:





6 comments | Friday, October 15, 2010




This is one of the most amazing stories on love and acceptance I've come across in a long time.


Five year -old Dyson Kilodavis would rather dress up as Cinderella for Halloween than a macho super-hero and it's just fine with his family. Cheryl Kilodavis, Dyson's mother authored a book called "My Princess Boy" which Dyson's school now uses as an anti-bullying tool.


Seattle Morning Show A New Day interviewed the Kilodavis family on their experience with having a son who dresses outside of the gender norm and they explained why it's important to accept Dyson and other kids like him.





"I just want him to be happy and healthy and if this is the form he chooses to express himself I'm fine", says Dean Kilodavis. "In the end when he's grown up... no matter what he chooses I want him to say I'm so glad my parents supported me and I'm glad I was accepted for who I am...he knows he has a sanctuary at home and it should be with his parents."


Love it. In one statement Dean Kilodavis has stripped away heterosexism and male patriarchy, other Black fathers should take note.


Watch the New Day interview below:


0 comments | Wednesday, October 13, 2010




Essence Magazine has broken new ground and is leading the way with regards to diversity by profiling the wedding of lesbian couple Aisha Mills and Danielle Moodie in their Bridal Bliss section on Essence.com.


The Black women's magazine partnered with GLAAD in an effort to raise the visibility of same gender loving people of color in their publication.





Aisha and Danielle met at a mutual friend's apartment in Washington D.C. They sat together in the bay window talking, instantly fell in love, and have been inseparable ever since. Six years later, Aisha and Danielle became one of the first same-sex couples to file for a marriage license in the nation's capital. The ladies tied the knot in a glamorous garden wedding at Old Westbury Gardens in New York.


"Essence has a history of covering the LBGT community and the inclusion of Aisha and Danielle's wedding in our Bridal Bliss feature is a natural extension of that commitment," said Essence.com Managing Editor Emil Wilbekin. "The Moodie-Mills’ are a wonderful couple with a beautiful love story, and Essence.com aims to support and celebrate Black women in all their diversity."





Congrats to the beautiful couple and to Essence for showing all facets of love within the black community! Let's hope their sister publications will follow in their footsteps.


Check out a 37 page slide show of the Mills-Moodie affair at Essence.com.


You may also be interested in an AOL Black Voice's first featuring black gay couple Damien and Seanmichael Rodgers written by yours truly here.

7 comments | Monday, October 11, 2010




Dear Oprah,


On a beautiful, sunny October 7th afternoon in Atlanta, Georgia, I sat down to enjoy a rare occasion where I could come home early from work to catch a new episode of your daily talk show that I have watched on and off for the better part of the past 3 decades. Upon pressing the info button on my remote, I learned that your show would be discussing a woman who “sued her husband for 12 million and won,” after finding out he had given her the HIV virus. To say I watched this episode unfold in horror is a profound understatement – I was uncomfortably riveted and disgusted for the entire hour.


To be quite clear, I wasn’t horrified or disgusted by the fact that this unfortunate Black woman had contracted HIV as a result of her husband’s secretive “Down Low” infidelities with other men. As a Black gay male, physician and public health advocate who has dedicated the past 12 years of my life to the behavioral prevention and treatment of HIV in the Black community, I have heard stories like your guest’s on this day more times than I would like to admit. To the contrary, the acidic taste of bile that coated the back of my throat as I heard her story was in response to the superficial and sensationalistic manner in which you handled the topic, and how it was apparent that you and your staff have learned absolutely nothing in the 6 years since you originally interviewed J.L. King on your “Down Low” episode in 2004.


Yes, you can claim that for this updated version of your “Down Low” show, you actually included the fact that publically “heterosexual” White men and men of other races are equally capable of having secretive homosexual affairs as their Black counterparts. And yes, this new version of J.L. King who again opportunistically sashayed onto your stage to promote himself now uses the word “gay” to describe his sexual identity (partly as a consequence of the fame and fortune he attained from appearing on your show). However, everything else about the show remained stuck in a metaphorical time warp in which Black women are portrayed as simple victims with no personal responsibility or accountability when it comes to their sexual behavior, and Black men are projected as nothing more than predatory liars, cheaters and “mosquito-like” vectors of disease when it comes to HIV.


I felt like I was like watching a train wreck or an car accident about to happen: it was so awful that despite wanting to turn it off, I found myself transfixed and could not bring myself to pick up the remote or change the channel. From the ominous background music and blurred images on the screen when discussing Black men being intimate with one another (God forbid!), to your declaration that reading your guest’s husband’s sexually explicit emails and messages on gay websites “blew your mind,” the way in which your show was staged did nothing to forward the conversation on the current facts or the social context that currently drives secretive same sex behavior among Black men and the current HIV racial disparity in the United States. Instead, what came across was a clear, fear-mongering and hyperbolic message: “Black women, look out for your husbands, they could be lying and cheating on you with other men and putting you at risk for HIV.”


It was bad enough that 6 years ago, after your original “Down Low” show, you single-handedly launched a major media and cultural hysteria where Black women across the country were now searching for signs of how they could tell if their men were “on the Down Low” through stereotypical signs and ridiculously offensive generalizations about how homosexual men think and act. Your show also helped J.L. King and other self-proclaimed “HIV experts” make a lot of money off this capitalistic, fear-based industry to promote their books, movies and narcissistic products on the so-called “Down Low.” It did nothing, however, but open new wounds and put salt in the old scars caused by centuries of sexual exploitation and calculated pathologizing of Black bodies in the United States and internationally. The way you and your staff have handled this topic has done nothing but widen the already irreparable rifts between Black men and women, as well as between Black heterosexual and non-heterosexual peoples.


While I realize that this is your show’s “final season,” let me give you and your staff some suggestions on how you can better address this issue of the “Down Low” and HIV in the Black community if you ever wish to revisit this issue during this year:


Please do some research on the facts explaining why so many Black women in the United States are contracting HIV. I can guarantee you that what you find will surprise you, as the vast majority of cases are not due to so-called “Down Low” Black men. Remember that in other countries like South Africa, India, Russia and China, there are millions of HIV cases attributable to heterosexual transmission. Ask yourselves where is the proof, outside of anecdotal stories that are splashed on your show, BET and the pages of Essence magazine, that bisexual men are primarily accountable for this horrible disparity among Black women?


If you are going to tell the story of HIV in the Black community, please give equal consideration to the social context and personal story/struggles of Black men who contract the virus, regardless of whether it is through IV drug use or sexual behavior. I can tell you for certain that if you sit down and ask these men to tell their stories, you will undoubtedly have your eyes opened to the fact that there is much more to their lives than the “predator” labels you so easily ascribe to their actions. And believe it or not, Black men can also be “victims” of this disease when exposed through their wives or female sexual partners who don’t tell them about the other people with whom THEY have been having sex.


If you are going to talk about the so-called “Down Low,” then really talk about it. That means, be prepared to discuss how Black men are socialized in this country to believe that our manhood solely exists in our athletic prowess, entertainment value, and the size and potency of the flap of skin that dangles between our legs. Moreover, be prepared to talk about how these manhood expectations placed on Black man are in stark contrast to the stereotypical images and expectations of “gay” men we see in the media: White men who assume a gender performance of how women are traditionally expected to act. And then talk about our society’s pervasive disdain, hatred and religious condemnation of anything that does not fall into a heterosexual “man-woman” norm of relationships and behavior, and how this puts pressure on men to deny who they truly are for fear of rejection and isolation.


Only when you begin to scratch the surface of these dynamics can you begin to rise above your current myopic and pathologic lens through which you view and project secret homosexuality and bisexuality as an “immoral act” on your show.


Have your team do better research on the notion that just because men do not disclose that they have same sex relations to their female sexual partners DOES NOT automatically mean that they are irresponsible when it comes to condom use. Simply put, “coming out of the closet” does not mean that a formerly “Down Low” brother will increase his condom use. I can provide you team with numerous studies to support this statement if it goes against your preconceived notions of the so-called “benefits” of “coming out.”


Withhold your judgment and disdain for explicit homosexual websites until you take time to explore websites like craigslist, nudeafrica.com, xtube.com and the many others that heterosexuals are just as freaky, raunchy and sex-crazed as homosexuals are. If you really want to read some conversations, pictures and videos that will “blow your mind,” check out these websites and do a show on how HUMAN BEINGS are sexual creatures – instead of suggesting that homosexually active people have a monopoly on that market.


Finally, if you are going to have a discourse on homosexuality or bisexuality on your show in the future, please be bold and courageous enough to tell the various sides of men’s stories. We are not all self-loathing, secretive, unprotected sex-having, disease ridden liars. Surely in the work you have done in the entertainment field over the past 3 decades, you have interacted with enough same gender loving men to realize that sexuality is a fluid journey for anyone, and that there are many Black homosexual men who are well-adjusted, comfortable with who we are, and at peace with our lives.


Oprah, I was so disappointed with your show and treatment of this follow up to your “Down Low” episode 6 years ago that I don’t know if I really care to watch the remainder of this, your final season. As a seasoned journalist, you have intricately described and explored the nuances of diverse topics such as eating disorders, mental health, spirituality, violence and criminality, cultural diversity and even the benevolent nature of human beings on numerous shows. You have approached these topics with a sensitivity and attention to detail regarding the social contexts driving human behavior, that even the most skeptical viewer can understand why some people do the things they do. So why is it with this topic (the so-called “Down Low”), particularly when it comes to the task of actually humanizing Black men, that you and your staff appear mentally, emotionally and intellectually incapable of creating a show that shows the rich, diverse and complex experience of being a Black male and homosexual in this country? Is it really that difficult?


As one of the most powerful human beings this country has seen in the past 30 years, and someone whose show I grew up watching, it would be nice if you realized your influence and took more personal responsibility for the quality of your shows that address serious topics like HIV in the Black community. The careless manner in which you continue to drive a wedge between relationships among Black men and women, between heterosexuals and homosexuals in this country through your one-sided analysis of Black sexuality in your shows is reprehensible. And I for, one, refuse to sit by idly and say nothing while you spoon feed sensationalism and fear to our community who will all too willingly eat every last drop because it comes from your hand. I need you to do better Oprah – the world is watching.


David J. Malebranche, MD, MPH
Assistant Professor
Emory University Division of General Medicine

2 comments | Friday, October 08, 2010




Controversial author JL King returned to the Oprah Winfrey show yesterday six years after he and the talk show queen blew the lid off the down low. In 2004 King admitted that he'd cheated on his wife with men but didn't identify as a gay or bisexual.


"If I was a gay man I may want to be in a relationship with another man and play house. But when you're on the DL all you want to do is have sex. It's about gratification not orientation," King told Oprah in 2004.


What a difference six years can make in a person's life. "I have accepted the fact that I'm a black gay proud man," King now tells Oprah. He explains the fear of losing his family and being ostracized by society and the church kept the padlock on his closet door and credits the black gay community for giving him a "crash course on being gay".





"Where I grew up and in the churches I attended I would hear every Sunday that God doesn't love you and you're less than a man. If you're gay you're a pedophile. I didn't want to have that kind of label on my life."


King was preceded by a lengthy segment involving Bridgett, a successful black project manager who was infected with HIV by her husband who was living on the down low. As the narrative goes on Winfrey's show Bridgette was the ultimate victim-black, successful, articulate, heterosexual, and deceived by a predator whom she loved; a closeted gay man living a double life.





It's infuriating six years later that society and Winfrey are willing to discuss the down low but no one is addressing why the down low exists. This was a golden opportunity that she missed by not including openly black gay men in the dialogue or discussing what causes men like JL King and Bridgette's husband who infected her with HIV to participate in such dangerous behavior.


Anthony Antoine, Preventions Program Director for AIDS Research Consortium(ARCA) in Atlanta and close friend of JL King offers up some food for thought on what he described as a "trite and uninspiring show by a woman who handles every other topic with such class."


"Where's everyone's accountability for homophobia! "Down-Low" men exist because we still foster a climate even today for homophobia to thrive. If we rid the world of homophobia, the "down-low" phenomenon would fade away. It's really that simple. Men hide in the closet for many reasons...few to do with the thrill they get from the secrecy and shame and lying and drama."


"If YOU PARTICIPATE IN HOMOPHOBIA, you too are responsible for the horrible story presented on Oprah. You can't say "OMG! I feel so bad for her" and then call me faggot in your next breath. There's your answer why (not all) but most down-low men hide! You can't say "OMG! That's horrible what he did to her", then VOTE against equal rights for gay people. If we rid the world of homophobia, the "down-low" phenomenon would fade away. That spirit was missing from both Oprah shows on men on the down low."


Watch the video of JL King's segment on Oprah below. Also included is King's ex-wife and Ulandsey Peterson, a gay man who lived on the down low who shared his story in 2004 but remained anonymous until now.



Oprah Revisits JL King and the Down Low
Uploaded by darianoutloud. - More gay and lesbian lifestyle videos.


Many thanks to Jeff Hobbs and Anthony Antoine

0 comments | Thursday, October 07, 2010




I was wondering when a gay identified person in New Birth's congregation was going to speak to the media regarding the sexual coercion allegations facing Bishop Eddie Long. BET news has an exclusive interview with Samuel Brown, a gay member of New Birth for over seventeen years. Brown has come forth to share his disappointment in Long for not coming out (no pun intended) and denying any wrong doing.


From BET News:


BN: What are your thoughts on Bishop Long's statement to your congregation?


SB: He was unable to say that he was 100 percent guilt-free, and it was insulting to me to not come out and be straight-forward. Basically him and his lawyer crafted a statement where he didn't have to hit the situation head on. The reason Bishop Long is so popular in Atlanta and all over the world is his transparency. He preaches about it in his sermons. He will say things that other people won’t say. He will push the envelope on a lot of things. So with him speaking so strongly about transparency and now not being able to deliver a clear-cut answer, it doesn't sit well with me.


Brown tells BET News that he and his partner (pictured below) are now considering leaving New Birth. But why was Brown, his partner, and possibly thousands of black gay people still attending a church so rife with homophobia?





BN: Do you think New Birth Church would have allowed you to be a member if they knew you were gay?


SB: Probably not. But at the same time, there are a pretty large number of congregants in the church that are gay or appear to be gay that I know of personally as well.


BN: Do you know why other homosexual Christians would become members of a church that preaches sermons condemning their lifestyle?


SB: The majority of the homosexual, gay members of the church that are at New Birth, most of them 'fall in line' with the teachings. They feel like it’s wrong, they are sinning, they are sinners and it’s something you have to get rid of.


SMDH. Our own internalized homophobia and willingness to be subjected to abuse by the church just to have a place to "belong" is going to be the death of us. I speak about this in an article on Long for AlterNet.org.


Blogger Son of Baldwin sums up the ridiculousness of this all: As a black person, would you go to a church where the pastor and congregants were openly racist--where the bishop preached sermons that called for the death of black people and organized marches to limit the civil rights of blacks--just because you liked the other messages he preached?


Anyone who says "yes" is a damn fool, just like Samuel Brown, his partner and the other (self-hating) gay brothers in Long's congregation.


A word of advice for all of them: Leave that church. Come on out.


Watch the BET News video segment below:


0 comments







This video has made my day. I dare you to watch it and not get all fuzzy inside.


Atlanta based openly gay artist and loldarian.com favorite Anye' Elite has just released the video for his new single 'Exclusively' and there's no shortage of affirming SGL images. The video for the mid-tempo groove was shot in Atlanta's beautiful Piedmont Park and features Elite along with his handsome love interest Troy during a date in the park.





"The video was inspired by Noah's Arc," Elite tells the series creator Patrik-Ian Polk via Twitter who was gracious enough to re-tweet the video in support. "The video even has it's own "Alex" in the beginning, adds Elite.


In a media market saturated with affirming images of white gays and lesbians it's a wonderful feeling to see images that reflect the experience of LGBT people of color.


Virtual hand claps to Anye' Elite and everyone involved in this project. And a special thanks for my favorite lyric from the song:


"They say boys and boys...they ain't supposed to... fall in love but look at us we do."


Get into the video below and check out Anye' Elite live at Atlanta Pride this weekend.


0 comments







It's that time of year again. ESPN Magazine returns with it's annual Body Issue and gracing one of multiple covers is the oh-so-sexy Amar'e Stoudemire of the New York Knicks.


The new issue hit newsstands yesterday and Stoudemire's cover has many wondering how he was able to hide all of his "goods" with one hand.


Also on deck for The Body Issue is San Francisco 49ers line backer Patrick Willis who tells ESPN that he was "chubby until the sixth grade". Well he's definitely filled out in all the right places since then.











Get into the making of the 2010 Body Issue in the video below as well as Patrick Willis on the set of his photo shoot.





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Check out this new promo trailer for the stage play A Day In The Life by Atlanta playwright and director Craig Stewart.


The show examines the lives of Black same gender loving men as it relates to HIV/AIDS, drug addiction, identity crisis, and disenfranchisement from mainstream society.


A Day In The Life was first mentioned on loldarian.com back in 2007 during it's run at the Balzer Theater and premiered to Atlanta audiences in 2004 during a successful run at the 14th Street Playhouse.


Stewart hopes to transition his play from the stage to the small screen making it accessible to millions of households and black LGBT consumers who are searching for content reflecting our experience.


He also blogs at adayinthelifeplay.com. Get into the trailer below:


1 comments | Friday, October 01, 2010




Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC) is re-launching their brilliant 'I Love My Boo' Campaign prominently featuring African-American and Latino same-gender loving men of color. You may recall "Boo" being mentioned on loldarian.com in 2008. The campaign will kick off with a rally in Christopher Street Park in the heart of New York City's Greenwich Village on October 4, 2010 at 4pm and will also be featured inside one thousand NYC subway cars.


The objective of the campaign is two fold. To serve as a tool to combat new HIV infections and to elevate the representation of men of color in the media.


"HIV prevention and supporting people with HIV/AIDS is rooted in homophobia and we're over it" Marjorie Hill, Chief Executive Officer of GMHC tells loldarian.com. "Part of the challenge for "Boo" is to give voice and vision to those who are not given a voice in the larger community."


"If this campaign didn't exist we wouldn't have many images of SGL men of color", says New York based activist Derrick L. Briggs who also serves as a model for the campaign. "I Love My Boo" is about letting the world know it's okay to be who you are", he adds.





GMHC has created a Facebook page for the campaign and is encouraging other SGL couples to submit their pictures in an effort to raise visibility.


Watch Derrick and Jazzy talk about the campaign below:


1 comments




This is becoming a disturbing trend and the fifth such suicide of a gay identified student in the past week.


Raymond Chase, a nineteen year old openly gay college student studying culinary arts at Jonhson & Wales in Providence, Rhode Island committed suicide by hanging himself in his dorm room on Wednesday.


Campus Pride Reports:


“The loss of Raymond this week is the second college LGBT-related suicide in a week and the fifth teenage LGBT suicide in three weeks. The suicide of this openly gay young man is for reasons currently unknown; however, the recent pattern of LGBT youth suicides is cause for grave concern,” said Shane Windmeyer, executive director and founder of Campus Pride. “Campus Pride demands national action be taken to address youth bullying, harassment and the need for safety and inclusion for LGBT youth at colleges and universities across the country. We must not let these tragic deaths go unnoticed. Together we must act decisively to curb anti-LGBT bias incidents, harassment and acts of violence.”


This painful news comes on the heels of the highly publicized death of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi who ended his own life by jumping off the George Washington Bridge after being videotaped engaging in gay sex by his roommate and having it streamed online. This must stop!


A page dedicated to Raymond Chase's memory has been created on Facebook and is being flooded with messages.

If you're a LGBT teen who is considering suicide please know you're not alone and there's help available to you. I've been there. E-mail me, visit "It Gets Better" on YouTube or call The Trevor Project for support 24 hours a day.


Our condolences to the Chase family.

1 comments




Thursday night television proved to be an amazing and inclusive night for LGBT characters in prime time. ABC's Private Practice took on a transgender story line with character Jane Finch played by Noah's Arc alum and out actor Darryl Stephens.


Stephens' character is attempting to undergo gender re-assignment surgery but the doctor performing the operation is unsure if she's ready due to emotional and psychological issues that have not been addressed. This was a very important moment for visibility and understanding of transgender people and the writer's of Private Practice handled this sensitive subject with respect. Congrats to Darryl on winning this role!


Watch the entire episode here.








Over on the almost always gay-friendly Lifetime Network Project Runway provided fashion, tears, and a strong dose of courage from three time design challenge winner Mondo Guerra. The designers were challenged to design a fabric for their look that was inspired by a moment from their past. Mondo's fabric consisted of plus signs on a beautiful pant he created for his model born out of a secret he's carried for the past ten years.


"I've been HIV positive for 10 years," says a tearful and brave Guerra to the judges panel. "I wanted to pull from the past but I also wanted to give something of who I am now...and what I've been so scared and hiding from. I feel a lot better. I feel free"


Guerra is the second designer in Project Runway history to disclose his HIV positive status following Jack Mackenroth. His bravery is inspiring and should be applauded.


Watch the entire episode here. You can also download his design for your desktop here.



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