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9 comments | Friday, September 18, 2009

This one is for my sistas. Our latest couple in our ongoing "Coupled Up" series is Brittany & Ty'Teana. The beautiful pair hails from Kentucky and began their relationship over a year ago after being introduced by a mutual friend. Brittany & Ty'Teana are the first black lesbian couple and the youngest to be featured in the "Coupled Up" series with Brittany in college and Ty'Teana on the way. I'm hoping they won't be the last.

Brittany on the initial chemistry that attracted them to each other:

There was sexual chemistry and we were both obviously attracted to each other physically in the beginning. But over time the chemistry continued to develop and we began to appreciate each other more for our personalities and character.

On the assumption that there's always a dominate and submissive partner in lesbian relationships:

Brittany: I am more dominate but I am very in touch with my feminine side. I honestly don't consider myself a "stud" because I am a lot more feminine than the typical stud. In our relationship I would say I'm dominant, but I'm not super aggressive.

Ty'Teana: Sexually she's more dominate... some stuff i just wont do!

On whether or not the black community & society are more accepting of lesbian couples:

Brittany: Definitely. I have cousins who accept our relationship, yet I hear them make derogatory comments about gay men all the time. I try to explain to them that we're gay as well and we both love the same. But for some reason they find lesbian relationships more acceptable than a relationship between two men.

Ty'Teana: Yes. I also feel the black community and society in general is more accepting of lesbians. People are more comfortable seeing two girls kiss in public, sadly there's still major prejudices when it applies to two men displaying public affection.

On coming out individually & as a couple and family reaction:

Brittany: I never technically came out. My mom always knew. She always told me, "no matter who you bring home, I will always love you". We just don't discuss it and I like to keep it that way. I'm still uncomfortable talking to her about my sexuality.

Ty'Teana: My parents cried and said "as long as you're happy". And of course they prayed. Some of my extended family knows and they seem to be fine with it. And there's also a portion of my family who are totally against it.

On the importance of religion/spirituality in their relationship:

Brittany: Im religious. Im in college, so whenever I get a chance to go back home & attend church I do. My church has spoken out against homosexuality, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. In the past I actually prayed and asked God to remove this from me. I cried and prayed to be "normal." But eventually I accepted it. I'm learning how to love myself more. I pray several times a day. God is a big factor in my life.

Ty'Teana: Its a big factor. I feel God brought us together, and when things go wrong I pray to him for guidance. We go to church. Some things we will never do because we are Christians. We dont feel like we are going to hell for being in love with each other.

On the myth that lesbians fall in love quickly and tend to rush into commitment:

Brittany: I was very cautious. I met her and didn't take her seriously until about six months into the relationship. I dont fall in love quickly and it took me a long time to be certain that I was in love. I'm quite the opposite of that stereotype, but I have several friends who fit into that stereotype perfectly.

On whether or not marriage is in their future:

Brittany: It's funny because we were talking about this the other day. Gay marriage is illegal in Kentucky and we're still young, so hopefully by the time we are ready to get married the law will have changed. I honestly dont care for marriage, but I do like the benefits of marriage. Plus I know Ty'Teana wants to get married and have a big wedding!

Ty'Teana: Yes. I don't think its right to tell us because we're in a same sex relationship that we cant get married. Love is love and she is who I want to be with. I'm happy with her and she's happy with me. She's my everything, so of course I'm going to marry her!

Many thanks to Brittany & Ty'Teana for sharing their relationship with us.

In Case You Missed It:

Coupled Up: Lee & Brandon

Coupled Up: Christopher & Shelton


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

fabulousssss. :) these are my buds, and im stoked they came on here and talked about their relationship. i wish you guys, i mean girls the best. lol. love y'all.

September 18, 2009 2:43 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

this is a great segment on your blog

September 18, 2009 7:34 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I hope I'm wrong but I suspected you would quickly run out of black gay male couples to profile.

Perhaps there are valid reasons why white gay media does not profile black gay male couples: 1) they're too hard to find and if you do find them 2) they won't agree to their names and pictures being shown.

September 19, 2009 5:26 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


Wow. You are wrong. "Coupled Up" is not exclusive to black gay male couples. I've still got plenty of black gay couples to come. In fact I will be featuring two legally married couples in the very near future.

So there's no valid reason (IMO) why the white gay media can't find black gay couples to feature in their publications. Have you ever been to Atlanta? I could do this entire series with just couples from this city.

September 19, 2009 6:48 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Reading this series of profiles gives me hope. since I've never been in a relationship before I am soooo hoping I will be able to enjoy what its like being in one some day. Like anonymous said; It IS very hard to find them (well at least brothas who are willing to engage in a relationship) and unless you go to blogs like these, you'll never see them.

Thanks Darian for bringing something very rare in the GLBT community to the forefront!

For myself its very comforting to see that love can exist somewhere amongst Gay Men & Women of Color.

September 19, 2009 7:17 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...



September 19, 2009 11:12 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

We love reading this segment. It is time for the world to see the beauty of SGL relationships!

September 20, 2009 2:07 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

This is anon September 19, 2009 5:26 AM:

I'm glad I'm wrong (in this case). lol

The only relationship I've ever been in lasted about 4 years. I must say that the feeling of belonging to someone is a special feeling that I would like to have again. It's what life is all about.

I like seeing the black gay couples on your blog because it gives me hope that my time will come. Again.

PS: I hope you can find some older couples. In the gay world, I guess anyone over 40 (or even 35) is considered older. lol

September 20, 2009 9:18 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


September 20, 2009 4:10 PM


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