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What Every Black Woman Should Know About Black Gay Men

6 comments | Thursday, March 26, 2009




Well my inbox has been infiltrated with e-mails from black women since the post "Are Black Gay Men Ruining The Dating Pool For Black Women?" was published earlier this week. I guess I struck a nerve. I realized afterwards that I'd addressed this topic on video back in 2007 along with two of my good female friends Cristi and Art. And since it's impossible for me to respond to every e-mail this video will have to suffice.


This video was originally taped after Sizzle Miami in 2007 and a similar outrage from black women spilled over from MediaTakeOut.com onto this blog after seeing pictures of attractive black gay men who were obviously not interested in entering into relationships with them.


It's an honest discussion that I'm hoping you'll chime in on. Feel free to post this video far and wide. There's nothing but real talk once you press play. Get into it!

posted by Darian

at 2:54 PM Permalink

6 Comments:

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I have to say as a Black heterosexual man that the blame Black women shift towards gay men is supposed to go towards straight men. And I understand people are lonely and want companionship but there is no way in the world that gay people, men or women, who are open and comfortable with their sexuality impacts heterosexual dating AT ALL, for better or for worse. If you are looking for a heterosexual Black man, you don't blame gay Black men for not being straight, just as you wouldn't blame white men for not being Black.

Its just crazy. Its like going grocery shopping and you want apples but they dont have apples, so you get mad at the oranges for not being apples.

Openly gay people do not effect heterosexual activity, it's impossible. Blame the heterosexual brothers who are in jail, blame the bad heterosexual men. Not someone who simply is out of your loop altogether.

March 26, 2009 5:09 PM

 
<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

So if the Black women are in panic, are the two Alabama women in this video in panic too? I have never heard some foolishness. That letter was one women's opinion.The whole being over 30 supposed to be married BS crosses all color lines. It is not just a Black thing. If it is hapening in your family, that is your family. Don't put that mess on the rest of us. LOL!

March 26, 2009 5:58 PM

 
<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Well I have no issue with black gay men. Most of my friends are black gay men. Women talk so terrible about black gay men that the brothers are scared to open up and be DL. I just figure that women need something to hold on to to make them feel better so they say things like the comments you read. Now I have to be honest most men who are "straight" are really bisexual. People just have a natural curiousity about the same same sex.I dont know....that why I dont even identify with an orientation

March 26, 2009 5:59 PM

 
<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Good discussion, the more we talk about these issues, the better, for many years black gay men have been invincible, now that we are standing up and speaking out, people feel threatened. The most of us were not abused, there are many heterosexuals that were abuse and did not change their orientation. DL people do so due to fear of rejection, victimisation etc. We are all good people until we face homophobia.

March 26, 2009 5:59 PM

 
<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

The first commenter (anonymous 3-26-09 5:09 PM) is absolutely correct. He is so on point!

@darian
You said you are getting a lot of emails re: "Are Black Gay Men Ruining the Dating Pool for Black Women?" This allegation has been around for a quite a while with many, if not most, straight black women seemingly stuck on stupid.

I'm curious if your emails show any evolution in black women's thinking on this issue or are the emails showing most of them are STILL stuck on stupid?

March 27, 2009 8:14 AM

 
<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I strongly agree that openly gay people are not ruining the dating pool, they're other cities, states, countries, etc...
What is the big deal if someone is Gay, doesn't gay mean happy and people deserve to be happy, and the last time that I check, Gay people are people too.

The key to finding your soulmate is to stop being so Judge-mental and get to know that person.

SO LETS LET GO OF THE HATE

March 27, 2009 3:59 PM

 

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