It's been a minute since I've done some much needed venting on my blog, but as I was reading a few LGBT articles that were sent to me by various people I began to notice a couple of words that they all shared that made me want to cringe, "lifestyle" and "lover". Allow me to tackle each word seperately because I have major issues with both and how they're often used negatively towards same gender loving people.
How many times have you heard the opposition say "I don't hate gay people I just don't approve of their lifestyle" ? Or this one,"I just don't understand why the gays want to subject everyone to their lifestyle, they made their choice but I shouldn't have to see it" ? Will somebody please tell me what the gay lifestyle is? The last time I checked my life was just as boring as the average heterosexual with the exception of who I sleep with...wait it's probably even more boring because I'm only sleeping with one person. I don't know if I've been extremely moody lately or just more aware of my surroundings because everywhere I go I see tons of PDA(public display of affection) from heterosexuals and it makes me want to walk up to them and tell them to get a room! The double standard that exists pisses me off! I'm subjected to simulated hetero sex all day long but if a gay couple decides to do the same then they're accused of "flaunting" their sexuality.
I've even heard other gay men use the word "lifestyle" to describe what they do. I believe their is so much shame wrapped up in that word when it's being placed on gay people that I refuse to use it to describe any aspect of my life or my behavior.
It's almost just as bad as that other word...lover, yeah that one. Again maybe it's just me, but this word makes me want to pull out the hair I don't have! I never heard my father or mother address each other as lovers or any other couple I grew up around. Lover sounds purely sexual. So is that all our relationships are about, the sexual aspect? Absolutely not. I just think when that word is used by straights or gays it demeans the relationship between the two people involved.
This post was not written to influence anyone to stop using these words if they choose too, but rather to verbalize my own thoughts about two words that always seem to provoke a neagtive reaction from me. The life I lead is one that is authentic, Christ centered, and free from shame, and doesn't deserve to have a label rooted in hostility attached to it. And yes my boyfriend loves me, but he's not my lover. Because if sex is all we have to keep us together then we might as well call it quits now, his love reaches beyond the physical. So I reject those two words and opt for something more meaningful that's a true representation of my life.