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Saturday, July 02, 2011
The promo continues for my new book When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the amazing host and friend to loldarian.com Lonnell Williams of 3LWTV. Two years have passed since I was last a guest on 3LWTV so we had a lot of catching up to do. We talk in-depth about the book as well as current events (i.e Eddie Long and his "spiritual sons") and Lonnell makes a surprising confession.
This is definitely one you want to watch in it's entirety. Many thanks to my dear friend Lonnell for having me back on the show. I had a blast!
Get into the interview in the video below. Order your copy of When Love Takes Over: A Celebration of SGL Couples of Color here.
5 Comments:
Wonderful interview darian.i will say that you and a handful of gay black men are certainly the "ones to watch for" by that i mean the work that you are doing and the quality of it is simply superb.your blog, your book and also from what i ve observed over the net,your personality.and i sure hope you keep the blog up as much as you can.i understand your other responsibilities as well.your a gay legend and im glad i follow your blog.keep up the wonderful work!!
July 02, 2011 6:50 PM
As usual, another lively Lonnell interview. Yes, congratulations goes out to Darian for celebrating the existence of Black Same-Gender Loving couples. I have been following Darian's blog for sometime and felt it was a lost to our community when he ended its postings. I actually stumbled on to it couple of months ago and realized that it was live again. I purchased two copies of When Love Takes Over. I enjoyed the couples talking about how they met. It was also good to see the variety in the age groups of the couples interviewed and find out lengths of the relationships. SGL couples who have just started could identify with the couples featured in the book who are under 4 years in their relationship.
What I found missing from the book is something Lonnell brought up, cheating. He mentioned he had cheated with one of men of a couple featured in the book. In my own conversations with long-term sgl male couples every couple admitted there was some cheating going on during their relationship. In Lonnell letting it slip about him cheating with a partner of one of the commited relationhip, there was probably some infidelity within the relationships of the seventeen other couples featured in When Love Takes Over. So many single sgl men are focused on wanting a monogamous relationship and find that most of the men they have been in a relationship have cheated on them and immediately end the relationship. If the question of fidelity was addressed in the couples stories it might have been a learning opportunity for single men to not focus so heavily on fidelity if they want a long-term relationship.
July 06, 2011 10:59 AM
Cleon:
"If the question of fidelity was addressed in the couples stories it might have been a learning opportunity for single men to not focus so heavily on fidelity if they want a long-term relationship."
^^^What Cleon said.^^^
Darian THAT is the issue, I think, when you talk realistically about long-term relationships between two gay men. Regardless of race/color.
I think that after a certain point (that point varies from couple to couple) one or both members of a gay male couple will inevitably get bored with their sex lives and start having sex outside the relationship. The question is, can they do this and still KEEP THE PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP INTACT?
I think the gay couples who are more realistic about this inevitability are more likely to survive long-term. Being realistic means being able to talk about ALL aspects of having an "open" relationship without emotion BEFORE it actually becomes open. That way, both parties know what the rules are in advance.
Darian, this is the topic for your next book. lol
BTW, you are doing great things darian.
July 08, 2011 7:05 AM
I just received your book in the mail. It was like downing a cold, refreshing drink of water on a hot day! I was delighted to learn about the eighteen male couples (some together over a decade!) and to see them spoken of in a manner that wasn't ignorant. I cringe whenever I hear LGBT folk referred to as "queers", "fags" "homo-thugs", "dykes", "LGBTQ's", etcetera. All too often, when we talk about ourselves, we sound just like the homophobic buttheads do! Same-gender-loving (SGL) is a respectful term I wish more of us would adopt(especially the Rev. Irene Monroe, whose essays drip with "reclaimed" hate speech). For once, I was able to read a Gay-related book by an author who knows the meaning of respect. I've begun giving copies of "When Love Takes Over" as gifts.
July 13, 2011 1:13 PM
Something I forgot to say: You must write a companion book featuring Black Lesbian couples.
July 13, 2011 1:13 PM
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