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6 comments | Thursday, June 02, 2011

How many times have you logged on to websites created specifically for black gay men only to be turned off by their overt sexual nature and a virtual environment dismissive of establishing meaningful relationships? I'm sure many of you have even tossed around the idea of creating a website with your BFF's that would offer something different than what is currently available to gay men of color. Well, HeMeetsHim.com aims to be just what many of you who are single have been looking for. I call it the anti BGC/A4A.

In an interview with Black Gay Men's Blog, 26 year-old Victor, creator of HeMeetsHim.com explains why he decided to create the site.

"I had been having conversations with friends about how hard it was to meet people in this lifestyle, who weren’t just about sex and who wanted healthy relationships and so I started doing some research online(because everyone is online on social networking and dating sites), to see what was out there. I realized there was nothing for people like me, who aren’t solely sexually driven. All we have are the Adams, BGCs and Men4Nows – nothing really for those looking for relationships. With the high rates of HIV and STDs in our community, I think it is important to have another option, so we are not saying to young black gay men, that casual sex is all this lifestyle is about. And so HeMeetsHim was born."

So I'm sure you're wondering what sets HeMeetsHim.com apart from those other sites. Here's your answer:

"If you want to hook-up, those sites will always be available, but if you want something solid and substantial, that’s where my site comes into play. I’m trying to target those who are looking to date and build and fall in love, that aspect of dating, not just the sex, but also intimacy, where there is an emotional connection to the other person."

HeMeetsHim.com is free to join but also offers premium features that require a subscription. You can check out the site by clicking here or on the HeMeetsHim.com banner on the right side of the blog. Here's to a new era in online black gay dating. Tell a friend.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I think one problem inherent to all online dating sites is that subscribers are still more likely to make decisions based primarily on looks, without ever getting to know the other person fully. Superficial judgement without spending quality time with another person hurts both parties and prevents us from making really meaning connections.

June 02, 2011 11:46 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I think this is great and wish him all the best, its hard as all out if you are a 'normal' black gay man to get a date, online sites are cartoonish stereotypes of black gay men, or the typical racism towards black gay men, so, this is quite refreshing.

June 02, 2011 12:37 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Aiming at something with more substance than just sex is highly commendable.. and it's actually just what people need (or maybe I'm only speaking for myself. lol).
But isn't restricting your search for love and a relationship to a skin color a bit shallow and narrow-minded? When I read "Black Gay Dating," I am just as shocked as if I had just read "White Gay Dating." Both terms really bother me.
Being part of a minority already, aren't we supposed to be open-minded and able to see past color lines?
I don't understand why we keep doing this to ourselves. In my opinion, segregation, even (or especially) when self-imposed is never a good thing

June 02, 2011 12:43 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@AUTOMATIC PRINCE... The terminology may bother you, however, this is the reality. Some people of other ethnicities have no problem expressing their lack of desire or perhaps even disdain for "dating" an African-American man unless its solely for sexual gratification or objectification. For those of us seeking something deeper beyond the physical, this is challenging even in one's own ethnic group.
True, one shouldn't limit themselves based on skin color which is why there are NUMEROUS OTHER sites specifically for those who choose to date interacially. Whatever ethnicity one chooses is one's business...just as is one's sexual orientation.
I may be in a small "minority" as you say, but I choose to want to share my life and love with a black man. Date whomever you wish as this is America, but just as there are those who can express their desires for a mate openly, without judgement, and unaplogetically why should men of color be perceived as "close-minded" because some of us choose to exercise the SAME practice by sharing love, life, and experiences with someone who may possess a similar skin tone...hence the objective of this particualr venue. I think most of us here are not oblivious to the fact skin color alone does not a relationship make.
It appears there are many relationship oriented brothers such as myself who can't seem to find one another for one reason or another. I am gratified there is now a sight which supports and affirms "black" love is just as rich as any other and if love of any race, color, or hue is the ultimate objective then I shall choose to celebrate my particular "brand" of love, myself, as well as ourselves which has very little if anything to do with segregation self-imposed or not.
I'm indiffrent to those of other ethnicites who would not wish to date me for one reason or another...just as I am equally so of those in my own ethnic group who would not either. However, I am very clear about my desires and my perosnal belief is "terminology" should neither affect nor impair your clarity. Peace

October 16, 2013 9:06 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@automatic prince

This guy seems to be out of touch or simply confused...Your point of view would be more effective if you gave the "lets embrace and be open to everybody" speech to those group(s) of people who seem to want to exclude men of color the most as dating options unless its for just sex. Articulate that thought on a predominantly white dating site because you are addressing the wrong audience. Thus, in essence what is implied is men of color(presuming you are one) or the "minority" as you say are somehow doing ourselves a disservice if men of color choose to embrace everyone else but each other each other. Why is wanting a man of color "limiting" ourselves. I agree with the poster above...date who you want and go to those sites which promote that. Thats not what THIS site was designed for. However, if the semantics are bothering you in terms of "black only" or "white only" then the sickness is worse than I thought if you would pursue or be open to someone who clearly didn't want you. Get some self esteem.

December 05, 2013 8:11 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I think this "more healthy dating" site for gay black men is a good idea. I also have to say gay hook up sites are good ideas too. Date who you want how you want. Hookup or not. A good website that reviews gay dating sites is http://gayboyz.com/. Black or white, it doesn't matter, as there are many from every race that may want only something sexual, not just black men. So date who you want and if you also want a long term thing, that's fine. Short term is good as well.

February 02, 2015 6:01 PM


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