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Monday, April 06, 2009
Now for the most ridiculous item of the day. Real Housewives of Atlanta co-star Dwight Eubanks and best friend to breakout reality star NeNe Leakes has confirmed to Essence Magazine that he is engaged to be married to...drum roll please...a biological woman.
Although a date has not been set, Dwight's bride-to-be has no qualms about his appreciation for both sexes. And it hasn’t stopped other women from pursuing the hairstylist and divo extraordinaire for romantic liaisons.
“I get more play from women than men," says Dwight, who recently celebrated his fiftieth birthday with a circus theme and male and female models to escort him through the room. "I can’t get a date with a man, but the women are knocking my doors down. They just love you when you can be real about who you are.”
Critics are convinced this wedding announcement from Eubanks is nothing more than a publicity stunt to garner attention for his upcoming Bravo reality show. And as expected tons of angry black women and the "God they speak for" are letting Eubanks and his wife- to -be have it on Essence's message board.
Dwight shares he is completely honest with his fiance' about his sexuality.
“It’s really interesting because the men are so standoffish, but the women don’t care," says Dwight. "Most of the men around here are gay, lying to their wives, slipping and dipping and all that, but it is what it is. You have to enjoy life, and that’s what I am doing.”
But if Eubanks is indeed a true bisexual man could he be sending the wrong message to millions about the lives of a misunderstood minority? Allow me to share an e-mail I received from a reader regarding this issue and please feel free to weigh in on both issues.
Darian,
I am a private individual who is bi. When entering conversation with people in what I consider safe spaces, I have no problem dialoging about my sexual preference. I often believe I'm given the short end of the stick when it comes to support because of the pressure from peers to choice one sex. I don't believe in dabbling sexually between the sexes and not being honest about my sexual practices. However, I still receive shade from gays and heteros (particularly women) when operating within what I considered ethical boundaries of communication and honesty. I am definitely not DL. I communicate. I don't hide my feelings nor practices. But these experiences have led me to question if it is even possible for a black man in 2009 to be openly bi and accepted by the LGBT and straight communities? Has the DL phenomenon eliminated any possibility of a bi-sexual, bi-curious, black man being honest about his sexual proclivities?
h/t Bernie
8 Comments:
I think the problem is that there is no standard definition as to what 'DL' means. Read the first part of Keith Boykin's 'Beyond The Downlow' and he explains the confusion that arises when one tries to define it.
We had a forum on homosexuality and masculinity at Howard and several bi guys have talked about the shade they get from gay and straight communities. We definitely need to work on that, and I think one thing is better understanding the nature of sexuality, if your gay or straight--because some gay people think in limited terms or paradigms about sexuality.
April 06, 2009 6:48 PM
a hot mess bisexual or not...that marriage is gonna be a hot mess lol
April 06, 2009 9:23 PM
I'm sorry but I don't really see what the situation the reader who messaged you in has anything to do with Dwight. Dwight is living his life and apparently enjoying it. That this man who emailed you finds it hard to open up to people about his dual sexuality I mean thats just how society is. Most people think if you aren't straight you are gay. Tough tittie but thats life. You deal with teh cards you are dealt. Black women in general are gonna be real low tolerance when it comes to men who are bisexual cause they are automatically gonna think you are on the DL even if you are up front. There are places, sites, etc that you can meet other bisexual people. Dwight doing him and being himself is not making it harder for bisexual, gays or anyone else.
Why should I care if you are bisexual thats your preference just like mine is to be mostly homosexual and someone elses is to be completely heterosexual. Why gays are shading bisexual is retarded. The nerve of them of all people.
April 06, 2009 10:28 PM
I'll admit that I'm surprised at Dwight's upcoming marriage to a woman but that may say more about me than it says about him (or the woman).
The bride-to-be certainly knows that Dwight is gay or bisexual (he is not on the DL, that's for sure) and is apparently OK with it. So where's the problem?
April 08, 2009 2:27 AM
I dont see the problem with Dwight marrying a Woman, if its for the right reasons. As a hetro black woman, I wouldent go seeking a gay or bi sexual man to "Get with" or fall inlove with. But If just happens, the love is geniuwine I would take it for what it is. Honesty is the best policy and to me bi mean you have a sexual attraction to both sexes, that doesnt mean you have a free for all during the relationship. If he is with that woman and he loves her, he should respect his love. Now lol as for Dwight, He may love the spot light more then any man or woman.
April 08, 2009 9:06 AM
“It’s really interesting because the men are so standoffish, but the women don’t care," says Dwight.
I think Dwight's comment speaks to the HATRED (yes, hatred) that many gay/bisexual men have for so-called "effeminate" gay men.
We know that a gay/bisexual man like Dwight is something like a pariah in black gay circles: he would not be considered "partner material" by most gay men BECAUSE of his so-called "effeminacy". This obsession with "masculinity" and thugism among gay men is demoralizing. As demoralizing as the homophobia it originates from.
Dwight probably got tired of being "comic relief. He, like most of us, wanted all along to be loved and was not finding it from gay men. He thinks he may have found it with a woman. Whether the marriage "lasts" is not important because the majority of black marriages where both parties are presumably straight end in divorce so what's the difference.
April 08, 2009 9:14 AM
LMAO. SHOULD WE B SURPRISED OR WHAT? I agree with elg. Its a mess but *shrugs* WHAT CAN U DO.
April 11, 2009 3:52 AM
Well alright! Do you bitch! What's ever floats your boat Dwight. U still a bad MF
From Atl's Prettiboi
September 16, 2009 7:27 PM
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