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10 comments | Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Just when I thought I wasn't going to have anything to write about today my friend LT wakes me up at 9 A.M. , and anyone who knows me knows not to call me before 10 so this had to be good. He informed me that our local urban radio station V-103 were discussing gay adoption on The Frank and Wanda Show. I don't know why I rushed to my computer to stream the show live because I knew some homophobe would be on the air getting me all riled up first thing this morning.

Miss Sophia ( the resident drag queen dj) had a close friend call in to explain the process he's going through to adopt a child with his partner and according to Wanda and a caller he became quite defensive when he was asked the ususal ignorant homophobic questions and eventually hung up. But the call that made me sit straight up in my bed was one by a black female who was so against gay adoption she said she would rather see children in the home of Ku Klux Klan members than being raised by two gay parents. Did you get that? Yeah she said the Klan ! But she took it a step further and said homosexuality should be a crime in America.

I don't know why I get surprised when I hear hate speech like this because I'm fully aware of the disdain that some peole have for the gay community, but it's a totally different feeling when you hear it being streamed live from someone's mouth.Her argument is that being gay is a choice and children are impressionable and if they are raised by gay parents they will conform and "magically" lose their hetero identities.

Let's tackle the choice idea first:

I've written about this many times and I believe sexuality is innate and not a choice and multiple studies align with that belief.I still have yet to enter into discourse with a heterosexual who can tell me the exact day and time they chose to be heterosexual. The huge majority will tell you that it was not a conscience decision but indigenous to who they are. Then why can't people accept the fact that a huge part of the population is gay by design and not by choice? The answer is that they would have to refrain from viscious homophobic attacks and would no longer be justified in their hatred. Bottom line.

Children raised by gay parents will somehow turn gay:

This is such a ridiculous argument. If I weren't so angry right now I would probably laugh, maybe later. This thinking falls in line with homosexuality being a contagious disease. It's not something you catch or even taught it's something you ARE and no amount of football in the front yard with dad or pointless hookups with females is going to change that if that's who a person is at their core. Charlen Cothran has fooled the 700 Club and Americans everywhere. I was raised in a traditional two parent household and I knew I was gay at age 7. I was not molested or raped or exposed to men in leather chaps and 10 inch heels.

I know exactly why the brotha who called up the show was so defensive. If he's like me he's tired of his life, his relationship, and his family being marginalized. He's tired of having to defend his existence, tired of having to explain to the world what compassion is really all about when they profess to already have it but never utilize it, he's tired of having his life lumped into the same category with murderers, pedophiles, and rapists when all he wants to do is work and provide for his family.

If society holds the belief that children are best cared for in a traditional family setting then please allow me to put the vaseline on your hands before you slap all of the single mothers in their faces so it'll sting even harder. These women have played both roles and in many cases reared upstanding individuals. In 2007 the word family encompasses more than the Leave It To Beaver ideal of the 50's.

What's really best for all of these kids who are caught up in the system is that they are placed with families who have a genuine desire to love and care for them for the rest of their lives. People who are against gay adoption aren't really concerned with the children as much as they are concerned with their families appearing superior.



<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Gay adoption should not be allowed. Children in adoption suffer enough...we don't need gays added to the mix of confusion.

God is not the author of confusion.

October 17, 2007 2:14 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Captain: So it's going to be better to let these children be rushed from foster home to foster home, with no stability and then, at 18 when no one adopts them, age out of the system and then left loose on the free world with no family structure or support system to fall back on at all? This is part of the reason why there are so many homeless young people these days.

You think gays are going to raise kids they adopt to be gay? It doesn't work like that.

As said in Darian's post, you can sit & watch football and date women all you want, but if you are gay, nothing is going to change that. Just like forcing some guy to look at naked men all day is not going to make a man gay if that's not what he is.

Parents who had to give up their children for whatever reason, should be greatful that there are people, gay or straight, willing to step up and take on the responsibility that they obviously could not handle.

"Non traditional" families are still families. Grandmothers raising their sons' and daughters' children. Non traditional. Single mother's 5 raising kids by 3 different baby daddys and getting no support from any of them. Non traditional. White people who go all the way to China to adopt. Non traditional.

These children want someone to love them. Limiting who can adopt them just adds to their struggles. Gay people are just as capable at raising children in a loving environment as any straight people are and we won't need to push any 'agenda' to make people gay.

I like that argument that people like to use where they say that if everyone was gay, then humans would die out. As if gay people are so stupid that if the only 4 people left on earth were 2 gay men and 2 gay women, they would not, for the good of mankind, procreate. For that matter, knowing what we do now, those 4 people could choose to have sex the traditional straight way and conceive, or they could get pregnant without the need to have sex.

Didn't that Mary chick get pregnant with no sex involved? Riiiiiight.

October 17, 2007 6:56 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

First off, I'm not going to waste my time on this particular comment addressing "the captain" as I normally do. I think onyxfuego did a really good job in that. "the captain" is a really confused and miserable individual who makes blind statements and only backs them up with rhetoric and personal beliefs. I'm all about personal beliefs, but one person should not push their personal beliefs on others and judge them accordingly. There is only one judge and He is not here on this earth, in physical form that is. The scary thing is, he's not the only one.

But this was a great post Darian. I think this would have to be my favorite one on your site so far.

I personally have begun the process of becoming a foster parent (with the option of adopting after the child is placed). This process takes about a year before a child is placed in the home. Here, the child and family systems don't care if you are gay, straight or whatever the case maybe. They are more interested in getting these children placed in loving homes and families and to get them out of the system. But before they do that they screen potential parents, train them and evaluate their stability (mentally and physically). Even after the child is placed in the home, the agencies continue to follow up on the home environment to ensure that the placement was the correct thing to do. Statistics have shown that children adopted into gay households fare better emotionally, academically, and turn out to be straight NOT GAY. Look it up, the hard data is there.

I have met so many SGL men who have adopted and saw their kids go on to college and make positive accomplishments in life. You don't hear about these stories in the media. Instead everyone is still stuck on what the SGL individuals that adopt do sexually rather than who they are as people. Maybe they need to focus their attention from gay sex and look at some of the things so-called heterosexuals do, I'm sure they would be shocked and appalled.

I think the worst thing that has happened to this world is religion. Today, so many of these so-called churches, religions and denominations are so far removed from Jesus Christ and his teachings (the teachings of love, etc.). Today, pastors are spitting out their interpretations of the Bible cloaked in their personal agendas and the flocks are blindly following them. It's sad that a black person would say they would rather see a child raised by the KKK than a person of SGL orientation. This is really a sad world, even among these "christians" and religious zealots.

October 18, 2007 2:00 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I urge all you gay men and women to read the story of Dawn Stefanowicz.


Just plain sickening how the gay agenda is attacking all sectors of society. I appreciate the stories and others like Dawn Stefanowicz.

October 18, 2007 10:48 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Let's not get it twisted.

There are bad apples in every group and gay people are no different in that regard. For Dawn, I'm sorry for old girl, but we are not in the free love 60-70s anymore, where for a lot of gay people, it was all about having fun.

Humans as a whole, gay or straight, usually mature and leave the promiscuity of their youth behind at some point and that's dependent on if they were even in to living that way in the first place.

Like Omar said, the screening process is there to help weed out people who would not make good parents.

October 19, 2007 7:18 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Yeah, that's typical of "the captain" to pick one story (an anamoly if you you will) and apply it to everyone. I'm all about facts. For everyone one story that "the captain" can come up against gays, I can bring up a story against heterosexuals. Heterosexuals (even so-called Christian heterosexuals) are just as bad as anyone else. Who someone chooses to sleep with makes them no better of a parent than others.

I must say to you "the captain", you come off as a miserable, self-loathing individual.

If you are so against gays and the "gay agenda" then why do you visit Darian's site so often? I hope you realize that by visiting this site you are helping the "gay agenda". Internet advertisers and other organizations evaluate the number of site visits a web site receives. Simply by visiting this site, you are helping Darian's cause and bringing more publicity to his site.

I visited your site one time a while ago (maybe last year) and saw all the ignorant, empty rhetoric on it and haven't visited it since then.

October 19, 2007 9:10 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Show me a law that says I can't come read someone's blog. Show me a law that says I cannot futher my understanding. If you ask me, you people hate truth.

I think Dawn's story has to be told and heard over and over again and more people just like her are telling their story.

I NEVER said that heterosexuals had it made or that they do everything right, they have their problems too. However, gay adoption and gay marriage will raise an acute disruption in the institutions of society with unfavorable outcomes that you are unable to see.

October 19, 2007 11:55 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Well how can you truly know if an outcome is 'unfavorable' if you never even give the people a chance to show otherwise? Like I said, you can find people like Dawn and let them have their say. If she had a bad childhood, please, tell us. But let's not forget that she's making money on every sale of her book.

There is a lot of missed positivity by trying to stop one group from helping a familyless child. That far outweighs what small negative a person could nick pick to find in a gay single male or couple adopting. Especially when you break it down, it really is only a matter of who is sleeping with whom.

October 19, 2007 6:32 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Leave it to a hateful, self-loathing, and self-serving bigot like The Captain to further add to the misinformation, and outright lies which foment the hatred we are seeing in America today.
And, thank you Darian for using your time, energy, and talent to try to enlighten people and spread a positive message.

October 21, 2007 12:07 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@ "the captain" you are free to do as you choose. There is no law prohibiting you from visiting Darian's or anyone elses blog. But here's my issue... "what's the purpose of you visiting the blog" when all you do is spew out false information and useless rhetoric of how "you" feel gays are immoral and destined for unhealthy existences, spiritual death, and the downfall of man. I'm all about a healthy exchange of information and an educated debate of topics and issues. But all you do is rant and rave and post ignorant BS not necessarily substantiated my facts or based on one-sided views. The more you visit Daran's site and comment the more miserable, lonely you seem. Which leads us back to the question of why you visit this site if you're so against the gay lifestyle, my answer remains the same and you have yet given me reason to change: you're a miserable, lonely, self-loathing person.

My apologies to you Darian for making such entries in your comment area. But "the captain" is just an outright blog-stalker bullying the readership with his negative and sometimes offensive rhetoric.

October 22, 2007 11:28 AM


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