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3 comments | Friday, July 21, 2006

In this post I will attempt to do something I never do, totally expose myself to the world, allow you to see the real me, even more of myself than I usually share on this blog. In the 8 years that I've been on my own living life as an adult, a performer, a gay man, a manager, and now an activist, I've had some wonderful highs and some depressing lows.

My life hasn't always exactly gone according to plan, their has been some sweet surprises and some surprises I could have done without, but in the midst of it all I have learned that I'm a lot stronger than I could have ever imagined.

My father affectionately refers to me as the "nomad" in the family because I've lived in more cities than he's ever thought about visiting.

In a conversation today with my boss I remembered the 21 year old dancer who moved to LA with 400 dollars in his pocket, a beat up Geo Prizm packed with suitcases, barely a couch to sleep on, and no job lined up. 4 years later I'm still here and not just surviving but thriving.

In many ways I feel blessed because I've always had a sense of purpose and I recognized early on that my life was not a mistake.

My journey is my journey and if I could go back and re-write history I probably would, but I wouldn't be the person I am today. Those experiences are apart of the reason why I'm writing this blog today.

So why can't I tell my parents about my new passion? Why am I afraid to live out loud to the people who already know my truth but choose not to speak about it? Does that make me a hypocrite or just afraid?

I don't usually take the time to reflect on my life and my accomplishments becuase I'm always pressing towards the next
goal, but I can honestly say this blog and the responses I've received from people all over the country has assured me that
what I'm doing is bigger than myself or any fear that may enter my mind.

The above clip is of Heather Headley and the original broadway cast of The Lion King performing "Shadowland".
My favorite line of this song is, "where the journey may lead me......let your prayer be my guide". It really describes the space I'm in right now and how I'm adjusting to life changes. I hope it touches your heart as much as it has touched mine.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Darian, you keep pushing... I am sorry that you can't share your dreams with your family. It sounds like you are just scared and you know what? It is okay to be afraid. You just handle your business and one they will take notice.

July 21, 2006 7:12 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Making a statement is always better than trying to explain yourself.

I so appreciate this post because we all go through this with our families at one point or another.

I believe its always important to create an extension of your family...people that share the same visions, goals and beliefs as you, so that you may always have a place to go to express a side that you're unable to show them

July 22, 2006 8:52 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Here are some links that I believe will be interested

August 04, 2006 3:42 AM


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