Living Out Loud with Darian

"It has become apparent that many factions of the very institution charged with building and healing our beloved community has become the barrier to our own development." This is the first line in a charge to the black GLBT community by
Monte Evans to simply walk out and leave the black church. This is easier said than done. I can speak to this first hand as I recently dealt with the decision whether or not to leave the black mega-church I attend here in L.A. .

The black church has been the foundation for black families dating as far back as the slavery era, when all we had as a people was our faith in God to see us through tumultuous times. But in recent years the one institution where we went to seek peace, solace, and refugee in God has turned it's back and made us feel unworthy of his love or the love of those around us.

It was not easy leaving my church home, but it wasn't easy or pleasant to sit there Sunday after Sunday and feel like an outcast and have my very existence reduced to nothing in the eyes of God.

While I agree with Monte that black SGL brothers and sisters should no longer sit in silence as we're being attacked by clergy, I'm not sure we all have the guts to walk away from an institution that is ingrained in our souls, families, and have become such a central part of the black experience.

I would see other gay brothers in church and bible study every week who were active in the auxillaries in the church but were leading others to believe they were heterosexual, and sometimes going out of their way not to be seen with other members who could possibly blow their cover.

It's a sad state of affairs if you ask me. The black church has become a 9 to 5 business. When did it become acceptable for an oppressed group of people to oppress another group? Sadly, it has and if we as a community continue to sit in silence and permeate the notion we don't exist in the black church, things will only get worse before they get any better.