I usually never listen to the radio in my car since I purchased the iTrip for my Ipod, but in between getting my case off and changing the station to transmit my iTunes I heard a wonderful discussion on the radio with a local dj and Iyanla regarding the downfall of black relationships and marriages. A few points that rang loud and clear was that unlike during my parents era when black men were the breadwinners in the family, the table has now turned and now black women are independent, sometimes playing the role of mother and father, and in many cases making more money than her man. The sista that's got her own and a nice savings account for some reason is a threat to the position and masculinity of the black man. Now you know I could only identify with this scenario to a certain degree since I've never been in an opposite-sex relationship, so I'm gonna have to switch it up and put a gay face on it.
I think far too often we get hung up in who's playing the dominate or submissive role in a relationship, you're the top and i'm the bottom bs!!!! It's supposed to be an equal partnership, give and take right?(no pun intended!) I made that mistake when I let my ex play the role of the breadwinner when he really wasn't.I had my shit together and because I loved him(bla...bla...bla) I allowed him to perform in a role that caused destruction later on. I'm still waiting and praying for a healthy long term relationship.
If you haven't read any of her books you should definitely go pick one up. I think I'm gonna have to re-read One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, but since I'm turning into such a Mac head maybe I'll just download it from iTunes!