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28 comments | Friday, September 11, 2009

Stellar Award winner and Grammy nominated gospel recording artist Tonex has dealt with rumors regarding his sexuality for almost his entire career. The son of the late Rev. Dr. Anthony Williams and a minister himself, the accusations of homosexuality have been an enormous threat to his livelihood, ministry, and future as a respected leader in the black faith community in his native San Diego, California.

In 2007 with the release of The Naked Truth and the infamous YouTube video (that has since been pulled) where Tonex's use of profanity and secular posturing shocked gospel music fans; it seemed inside this talented singer was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. In that video Tonex emphatically denied being gay, but that was two years ago.

In a recent interview with The Lexi Show produced by The Word Network, Tonex' boldly opens the closet door in a way that I could never imagine anyone else in the gospel music industry having the courage to do. As a childhood victim of molestation, Tonex' refuses to blame his same-sex attraction on this experience like many of his colleagues who "struggle" with homosexuality (i.e. Donnie McClurkin) and corrects the interviewer when she attempts to frame the discussion in this way.

"It wasn't a struggle. And then people like to blame the struggle on molestation. No. Just say you were attracted to men and be honest and quit blaming it on that experience", says Tonex'.

On homophobia in the black church:

"The church has completely faggotized everybody who's gay, sends them to hell over the pulpit and the church literally screams hooray and are happy about that. And yet, we celebrate the pastor who has a clean record and a clean look, but yet he is still doing the same thing that the same gender loving people are doing. I believe that there's holy ghost- filled fire baptized gay people."

Tonex' is currently writing for Janet Jackson's upcoming CD and can be seen in Maurice Jamal's Friends & Lovers.

Watch Tonex' explain the man he is today in the videos below:


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I think he is so hot, but his denial had me scratching my head at one point. He was always such a deviant in the aesthetic sense. Not that a flamboyant style should automatically declare someone's preference, but there was something about his particular brand of flamboyance that made my gaydar scream. Now I understand why he didn't come out immediately. Everyone comes out at their own time. We all have our own path to travel. I didn't always understand that. I'm just glad he is not attending the "School of Donnie McClurkin."

LOL@ the introductory discussion between Tonex and Lexi. The church is a fool. So restrictive, even in the simplest terms of clothing. BOO, Black church.

September 11, 2009 12:48 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Part 3 has been removed. Was there anything really good on that one?

September 11, 2009 1:17 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Unlike Donnie McClurkin, Tonex is "politically correct" when discussing his "molestation". I applaud him for that but there's still something missing, at least to me. I guess the "religion" in him won't allow him to just come out and say "I'm gay". But he's still light years ahead of Ms. McClurkin.

September 11, 2009 1:29 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I am so proud of him for this interview. If you listen to him, he comes out. He makes it clear that it isn't something that he "struggles" with. In other words, he is clear about it. He clearly states that he is a free spirit and he leans toward those of the same sex.

I think that he doesn't say "I'm gay" is ok. He may not be gay, he may be bi-sexual.

September 11, 2009 2:03 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@Anonymous It's very telling (at least to me) that part 3 has been removed. During this video Tonex' comes out strongly against the black church for it's mistreatment of SGL people and both he & Lexi agree on how hypocritical the black church is by creating hierarchy on sin.

The quote from Tonex' inside the body of my post was taken from part 3.

"The church has completely faggotized everybody who's gay, sends them to hell over the pulpit and the church literally screams hooray and are happy about that. And yet, we celebrate the pastor who has a clean record and a clean look, but yet he is still doing the same thing that the same gender loving people are doing. I believe that they're holy ghost- filled fire baptized gay people."

September 11, 2009 2:23 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I found part 3 at:

I went to LEXITELIVISION user page, and found it there.

September 11, 2009 2:27 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I never underestimate the struggle one has when coming out. I am sure that struggle was even greater for Tonex given his position within a very restrictive religious denomination, his success as a Gospel artist, and probably his desire to continue the church his father pastored.

I am glad that Tonex waited until he was comfortable enough with his sexual orientation that he could speak unapologetically about his attraction to men and not make his sexual orientation a "struggle" to be delivered from. Kudos to him for pointing out the hypocrisy in the church and for trying to give understanding that committed couples are pleasing to God whether they are SGL or heterosexual; whether it's called marriage or a "covenant".

Having read the comments on other sites, I realize that his honesty may not change the thinking of many heterosexual church goers, but I do hope and believe that his transparency will indeed help some gay folks who struggle to reconcile their spirituality with their sexuality.

September 11, 2009 3:07 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

this is why u have to have your own personal relationship with god because when your haterz try to push you to hell his holy spirit will always come whisper to you in a soft but stern way how he loves you for who you are.i wish tonex all the best

September 11, 2009 5:56 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

did he really have to say "i'm gay" given the other things he said (i.e. using the term homosexual to describe himself, his affinity for men, etc).

September 11, 2009 7:22 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Whenever someone in the church speaks out against homosexuality there is this big thing about the church being 'hypocrite". Is there "anything" that is OK to call a sin? Is there "anything" that is wrong any anybody's eyes? If so what?

Is it OK now to be a serial killer, wife beater, thief or child molester? What if these people say they were "born" with those desires and it is just "who they are"? What makes them different then a man who desires another's mans genitalia in his mouth or butt?

September 11, 2009 7:48 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@Anonymous Are you seriously comparing same gender loving people to serial killers? How dare you! And maybe you can explain to me why every argument against gays and lesbians by heterosexuals are either based in outdated biblical ritualistic law or reduced to graphic sexual acts? It may be hard to wrap your brain around the fact that we're more than what we do sexually, and might I add there's a whole bunch of straight folks having anal and oral sex.

September 11, 2009 8:13 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

He is an amazing performer and appreciate his candor. Love your blog Darian

September 11, 2009 9:27 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I've learned to accept the fact that no matter how many prominent religous leaders come out of the closet, the church is still never going to change its stance on homosexuality. I remember a few years ago when Bishop Carlton Pearson (a heterosexual high profile black pentecostal leader and former pastor of a mega church) embraced the "Gospel of Inclusion" (a doctrine where it's presumed that all of humanity, including gays can and will go to heaven) how he was exiled from the church and literally lost everything that he had including his money, long time friends, and his entire congregation. Google him for all of the horrid details and to hear more on the Gospel of inclusion. It's people like him and Tonex who are really speaking the truth.

September 11, 2009 9:51 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

It is so refreshing to see an openly gay gospel artist! Perhaps this will get the black church to open its eyes ( but I won't hold my breathe). I like the fact that he said any kind of monogamous relationship is better than being promiscuous, and that scoffed at homosexuality being a struggle or a practice. Love is love. Continue to post positive things Darian.

September 12, 2009 12:54 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


September 13, 2009 12:24 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

He is one HOT brotha and im glad to know that he is attracted to men.Wonderful interview!

September 13, 2009 1:11 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

great interview, I wish he would say more

September 13, 2009 7:48 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I loved this interview. He is truly an inspiration and an example for the young and older people who may be struggling.

September 15, 2009 1:59 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I am in complete awe, respect and heightened admiration for my brother Tonex. This is a momentous, life-changing, powerful and uplifting exercise in truth and transparency. In addition to the directness, intelligence and eloquence displayed, I was also moved by his grace, charm and openness. Tonex, I thank you, I admire you, respect you and hold you in close in my heart and prayers!!

September 17, 2009 5:44 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Evidently none of you who have commented in favor of Tonex have read the bible and what it says in both the Old and New Testaments about homosexuality. Nor is it even evident that any of you know Jesus Christ, otherwise you'd be busy defending his commandments instead of supporting Tonex. But then again if you did that, this blog wouldn't exist, would it?

I tried to avoid coming to this site because it's filled with so much filth - and the fact that according to the author, Tonex is a FREQUENT visitor of this page is very disturbing - but nevertheless, Jesus also put himself in the midst of sinners and we Christians must do the same. When people need to hear the truth you have to go among them so, I'm giving you all a shot here.

Kudos to Tonex about his honesty and not hiding and being "down low" as many who practice homosexuality while maintaining their other identity do. But Tonex is trying to have the best of both worlds. You can't be a Christian while loving a sin that Jesus died on the cross for! If Tonex wants to be unapologetically gay, then get off the cross and go about you business!

Calling himself a Christian, even a pastor, shows his lack of understanding of what Christ did for us. Jesus says in John 14:15 that if we love Him, we'll obey Him. Tonex is officially now a Jesus hater because his actions show how much He despises our Lord and Savior.

Either you all are friends of Jesus or you all or his haters. Which will any of you choose? Love Jesus or hate Him? He loves you all so much and to keep crucifying him with your persistent sinning only show you can care less about what Jesus wants but only what YOU want. Selfish living.

I'll just close with a bible verse that sums all of that up:

Jesus speaking:

"You are My friends if you do whatever I command you." John 15:14

September 18, 2009 9:56 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


"I tried to avoid coming to this site because it's filled with so much filth ".

Filth? Really? Thank yo so much for that incredible endorsement, when I find the time I just may move that to the front page.

I could get into a biblical debate with you regarding all of the scriptures that you and your ilk conveniently use to oppress and condemn Tonex' and other gay and lesbian people but it would be a waste of time.

I'm so happy that you and all of the other closet cases in the black church are not GOD and will not have the final say come judgement day.

How dare you attempt to infiltrate my site with the same religious rhetoric that kept our people in bondage for centuries! And the audacity of you to assume that gay and lesbian people aren't SAVED or have a relationship with Christ.

Maybe I missed the memo but I don't recall Jesus ever saying "come unto me all ye heterosexual children of the world".

"Either you all are friends of Jesus or you all or his haters."

Really? So it's that simple? You can do us all a favor next time by not trying to disguise your hatred with the WORD and simply come out (no pun intended)and show yourself to be the bigot you are.

And I mean that in the most Christian way possible.

The author of this filthy site that you can't seem to stay off of.

September 18, 2009 12:56 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

September 18, 2009 1:02 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

It's just a heavy battle that will NEVER end. I feel for the brother because I understand him, and what he's going through! It is and will forever be a pointless argument! May God bless him and all the rest of us. The two simply cannot mesh in truth. But I honestly love & understand the brothers who are trying to make it work.


September 18, 2009 3:26 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

this a great site...way to go Tonex, i'm praying for u cuz i know it aint easy...

September 19, 2009 1:35 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

All I can say is, Tonex has lost his mind. When did God change his mind, when did the word of God change. When He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, why did he? Tonex you have licked your head and God is not going to change His word to please you. Please I have had experiences with "church people" - it still does not change God's word. Build a bridge Tonex! Do you remember your own songs? do not even bring Donnie into it. You are just trying to belong, you forget the God you belong to.

Have you seen Tonex, what restrictions He restrict himself! All of you just see him as meat! Get over yourself.

September 25, 2009 5:25 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

i'm very happy he's not living in the land of denial like so many others. Great site. I think it's great! ;)

November 16, 2009 2:47 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

O.K let's stop this stupid game!!!! You accalaim everyone that claims to be homosexual and Christian Just because U are GAY!!! It is an insult to Christianity and to all the real christians all over the world. What you are actually saying is this The Bible is not revelation but invention of untolerant people.So we can change it according to our feelings. This means that I AM A FOOL,ME,WHO BELIEVES IN IT AS THE WORD OF GOD JUST BECAUSE UR FEELINGS ARE SICK iN THEIR FEELINGS.Let me tell you something: The day you will really meet Jesus and give your life to him, Go to a deliverance session and ask JESUS to chase this evil spirit of homosexuality out of you. Other people have done it and are now free !!!! If you understand french you can go to my page karisbalock.hi5.com . and you will understand why God HATES HOMOSEXUALITY. Haven't you noticed that the more such immoral practices spread the more the world gets worst and the number of insane people increase ?

tHE QUESTION IS NOT TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY AND BELIEVE IN gOD the question is what is your relationship with God. Let me tell you that when I lie even not deliberately when I don't even realize at the moment ,the Holy Spirit lets me know I'm in trouble whith God And I go and repent.

So how can you do such a horrible thing and have a relationship with the Lord that's different from war ?

About that Darian who says he knows the Bible better than the Holy Spirit even Lucifer himself knows the Bible and he used it to trial Jesus himself so knowing the Bible doesn't mean anything


I love you in the name of Jesus but I don't want you to corrupt and spoilt my son Please call on Jesus right now there's nothing to loose, just freedom to gain.

Escuse my english I am francophone God Bless U

February 01, 2010 7:25 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I believe he is confused and is trying to justify sin with his own selfish lusts. I'm not judging this brother. Thoughts come thru our heads everyday, does that mean that we entertain them? Right is right and wrong is definately wrong. I'm going to keep him in my prayers that he will be delivered from this spirit of homosexuality, and what is he doing in the pulpit? Is he saying he's waiting on God to show him something and how he's going to turn out as an excuse to stay in it longer. Stay strong, I'll be believing God for you.

August 09, 2010 6:40 PM


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