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2 comments | Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Well this will be a teachable moment for Ms. Behar.

Joy Behar who is a fierce advocate on behalf of gay rights may have raised a few eyebrows yesterday on The View by implying that "monogamy doesn't hold the same weight for gay couples as it does for straight couples".

To Sherri & Elisabeth's credit (believe it or not) they challenged the perception that monogamy isn't important in same-sex relationships and encouraged Joy to ease up on making such a broad generalization.

This discussion is particularly timely given the heated debate over loldarian.com's recent couple profiled in our Coupled Up series who were honest about exploring threesomes within their long term relationship.

Reactions to Behar's comments have been mixed. " Joy is a longtime LGBT advocate, and these comments (which she qualified as being just her own understanding) don't at all change that. They simply highlight our continued need to bust down old stereotypes which paint "gay" as one certain thing. She seemed more than open to the possibility that she was off -- so this is an opportunity to inform, not chastise", notes blogger Jeremy Hooper of Good As You.

I think if we were to be honest about what really happens in our relationships, both straight and gay, we would find out that the traditional model simply doesn't work for everyone. But in our desire as gays & lesbians for our lives & relationships to not be viewed as the "other" we've adopted the heterosexual model that is clearly failing them.

I'm sure you have an opinion on this so let it rip.

h/t Good As You


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I saw the show. What is always interesting to me is when straight celebrities generalize about Gay people based on conversation they have with their gay friends, acquaintances and gay people they work and do business with. Unfortunately I believe they are getting it primarily from openly-gay men who are very comfortable in speaking about what gay people do and think. However gay people don't think alike for anyone to speak for gay people and our issues. We are more diverse than celebrities association with the stereotypical "openly gay" man. Yes if closeted men came out "they" would have more choices of "gay opinions" but that's not the case. Each of the view women were right based on their sources but it leaves the unknowing straight audience to know that we are on all sides of how we deal with infidelity.

January 27, 2010 12:03 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

She's right. In my 17 yrs out of the closet, my experience is gay men are more accepting of cheating and open relationships than straights.

I am not "open" to those things, but as long as everyone involved knows what time it is, I can't be mad if it works for them. Just realize that society tends to view multi-partner relationships as less valid than monogamous ones.

I believe when someone brings up the idea of an open relationship, they are already plotting on the next piece they want to have sex with.

January 27, 2010 3:05 PM


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