This post is a special feature to loldarian.com by author and guest blogger Tiffany Hall. You may remember an open thread I posted on the site a few weeks ago titled "What Do Black Women Really Think About Us & Should We Care?". Tiffany's book was the inspiration for that post. She originally contacted me to review her book on this site and I initially declined because I felt a lot of it was rooted in stereotypes, not to forget the title was a bit of a turn off as well.
As you know this site is about informing, empowering, uplifting, and entertaining gay men of color, and I wasn't sure this book met the criteria.
But after an hour long phone conversation and the recent events surrounding the black church and Prop 8 I thought her point of view would create a healthy discussion. Get into it below and feel free to leave her feedback in the comment section.
Homosexuals joining church? Can't they get salvation at home?
by Tiffany Hall
Okay, wow!! This hot topic has been on my mind since last night when I got a call from my mother telling me that my favorite gay man~Charles Pugh, TV anchor for Fox 2 News in Detroit, Michigan and on-air radio personality at the most popular urban radio station-WJLB, joined her church with his partner Michael. Now I interviewed Charles for my book Intimate Conversations with Fine Gay Men…What a Waste and went on his radio show That’s What’s Up back in October. I have found Charles to be an extremely intelligent, charming, giving, handsome and caring man. I have grown to love him as a human being and look beyond the fact that he is an openly gay man who is very comfortable living a “gay lifestyle” in the public eye.
You see this whole situation bothers me a little bit. My kitty kat kinda hurts because I am straddling this fence big time! Being a non-homosexual who grew up in the very same Baptist church that Charles and Michael joined on Sunday, I do not agree with the homosexual lifestyle. As a matter of fact, prior to writing my book, I looked at homosexuals as demonic spirits going straight to hell with gasoline drawers on! Harsh? Yes! Honest? Always! Anyway, growing up in church, I learned that fornication, homosexuality, adultery, lying, stealing, etc. were all sins, but homosexuality was just a straight up no-no. No-no as in; No you better not be gay, no you better not “act” like you think you’re gay and no you better not even begin to “look” like you think you might be gay. If you somehow decided that you were gay, you were ostracized, ignored or prayed for like your sole salvation depended on the prayers of the saints in church!
Now that I “know” better, I am trying to do better. But, I can’t say that I really am! When my mom called and said that Charles had joined church, my first reaction was “good for them.” I mean, I am a Christian~for real, for real. I LOVE when people give their lives’ to Christ. But then my mom said “humph, that wasn’t the response of the people sitting around me.” So me, being who I am, said “What? What did they say?” Now mind you I said this with a bit of an attitude because I believe this church is very elitist and full of hypocrites calling themselves saints. My mom, sounding a little nervous now as she knew I might be getting ready to tell her all about her “church folks” and how hypocritical they are, said, “they said that pastor should’ve said something!” “Said something like what?” I practically yell at her like she was the one who’d said it. “Said what? You aren’t welcome here? Y’all are sinners! Aren’t they entitled to salvation, ministry and God’s word just like the rest of us sinners?” I knew I was not using a tone of voice that pleased the woman who raised me but I was pissed off! Much to my surprise, my mother, who is just as judgmental as I am trying not to be, said “I know, that’s what I said and went in my purse to give them your business card for your book and told them ‘here you need to read this book my daughter wrote.’” I was so proud of my mom! I was also proud of myself!
Now saying all of this, all day today I have been thinking; “Would I be this defensive and happy for a gay couple who I didn’t know personally who joined my church?” Umm, probably not. “What role should the church play in welcoming and ministering homosexuals and lesbians?” “How can you minister to someone who doesn’t believe their lifestyle is a sin?” I knew fornicating was a sin and it tore me up every time I did it! I finally had to stop and ask God to take the desire away until I got married. Help me out y’all! I want to believe that homosexuals belong in church just like the rest of us sinners, however, if you are growing in Christ, you try to turn away from those things that are not pleasing to God. I can’t honestly say that I believe homosexuality is not a sin and that God is pleased! Oh! Y’all gone cuss me out!! That’s alright, I love you anyway and I am still praying for you…not because you may be a homosexual/lesbian reading this, but because we all need prayer, grace and mercy!
Holla at your girl~
Guest blogger Tiffany Hall is the author of Intimate Conversations with Fine Gay Men"What A Waste". She is a native of Detroit, Michigan and a wife and mother of four. She is a graduate of Alabama A&M University and Miami University of Ohio and a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc. She currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia.