Living Out Loud with Darian

The image and name of this person has been altered to protect their identity but the story is real and disturbing.

Ever since I've known Nicole (not her real name) she's always identified herself openly as a lesbian. I often joked that we were a lot alike because it would be a cold day in hell before either of us showed any interest in the opposite sex. I rarely ever saw Nicole without her girlfriend, although their relationship had it's share of problems it was obvious that they loved each other.

To my knowledge Nicole had never dated a man or even entertained the idea until recently. She met him...let's call him Roger, at work and surprisingly began to flirt with the idea of a romantic relationship. As expected her girlfiend's reaction was not a good one, she felt betrayed and deceived by a person she thought she knew.

Nicole tried to explain that she had not engaged in sexual intercourse with Roger but she could not deny the emotional attatchment she had developed towards him. She later confessed that she believed that Roger was sent into her life by God to lead her out of the homosexual "lifestyle".

This news baffled me and raised so many questions that I had to ask myself. Am I next? Have I just not met the right woman yet? Yeah right...that question doesn't even sound right as I'm typing it. Are some of us so drenched in internalized homophobia due to religion that we must trade the unnatural for the natural? And in this case the opposite sex for Nicole or myself would be the unnatural. It seems Nicole is following in the footsteps of ex-gay activist Charlene Cothran who now claims she's been "delivered" and is free from lesbianism. I have my doubts about Charlene as well as Nicole, a person can always choose to be celibate but that doesn't change their innate sexual orientation. Whatever Nicole is going through I hope it ends soon and she realizes God's love is for everyone.