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2 comments | Friday, March 02, 2007

Yesterday I received an e-mail from a new friend, dare I say "love interest"(more on that later) that brought up a lot of questions concerning the lack of actual human interaction with the invention of text messaging, instant messaging, and chat rooms.This is what he had to say:

I live in a city full of intelligent, fine (sometimes at the same time) Black men. Why can’t we just walk up and introduce ourselves to each other? Why does it seem that I am missing out on “meeting” people when I’m NOT spending hours sitting in front of an inanimate, electronic box? Is it because everyone else seems to be sitting in front of them, and God forbid I break the rules and just try to walk up to a stranger in a supermarket and talk to him (before meeting him online), because then I’m just some desperate, crazy guy. Who elected the computer the modern intermediary for human contact? -Anonymous( for now)

My friends tell me that I'm obsessed with my computer and I would have to partially agree with them. My excuse is that I work in technology so it's my job to be online as much as I am. One thing I can honestly say I don't do is visit gay hookup sites. I made that mistake 2 years ago and I met him there. Ask any of my close friends and they'll tell you that I think Adam4Adam is spun from Satan.

I'm guilty of avoiding(sometimes unintentionally) having a real conversation over the phone and opting to text instead. I'm learning that this form of communication is highly impersonal, especially if the person on the receiving end is someone that you really want to develop a relationship with. Has technology weakened our ability to socialize with others?

I'm at the point in my life where I want to be in a serious relationship and God knows I have a huge pool of beautiful SGL men to choose from in Atlanta, but I'm picky. So what's a single man to do in HotLanta? I don't do the clubs and I don't cruise Adam4Adam, and I turn into this shy person who I don't know when I'm around someone I'm attracted to.

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll text him, because that's what we've been doing for weeks now. I know it's silly and I know you probably can't believe that I actually have moments when I'm at a loss for words, but that's exactly what happens.

I guess it so much easier to hide behind a computer screen or a blackberry, you definitely don't have to worry about being hurt. If one profile rejects you then you just move on to the next one. One thing is for sure, my computer won't kiss me in the morning, dry my tears when I'm sad or tell me how much it loves me, I need him in my life to do that. And if he approached me in the supermarket I would still think he's crazy, crazy for not stopping the text messages sooner.



<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I suffer from the same affliction. I am an emailaholic. I am well aware why. It's safer and less threatening. Nothing hurts more than looking someone in the eye while they reject you. Emails can simply be ignored or deleted.

March 02, 2007 7:24 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

its all about the numbers...

gay men are a minority in a very large society spread across a very large continent

if you lived in macon GA and only reached out to gay men you met in person, your circle of contacts would be few and far between

the internet shrinks physical space and maximizes the time you have, it enables you to meet possibly compatible men from all over the country and the world... and to do it from a position of relative safety

its not much different from e-harmony really.. except there is no fee

i believe it was through this much maligned medium that you first caught my eye.. remember?

March 02, 2007 8:58 PM


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