Living Out Loud with Darian

So the time has come for me to stop pretending that my site is only on the radar of young Black SGL men. To my surprise people from all backgrounds are reading my blog and responding with praise and criticism, and my family is no exception.

Before I proceed any further, let me preface this by saying although I've been out to my immediate family since I was 16, none of my extended relatives have had the pleasure (or pain for some of them) of hearing my truth spoken from my mouth to their ears. I'm learning that my blog has outed me to many different relatives, friends, town gossips, messy church members, and countless other people who don't really matter.

I've never been a person who conducted his life based on other people's opinions. I know who I am and I've grown to a place where I'm comfortable in my own skin, but it's not so easy for some people who are close to me.

I was never a problem child, (a little too talkative in school) I got decent grades, I was involved in the arts, my parents never had to pick me up from jail, I never complained about going to church, I went to college, I support myself, and I'm consider a role model to my younger cousins. So what's the problem? It's that gay thing that I can't seem to shake, right?

That "G" word just ruins it all. Have you noticed that when you come out you automatically become a different person in the eyes of some people? I recently had someone imply during a conversation that I couldn't be considered a role model to my male cousins because of my sexual orientation. To say that this infuriated me would be an understatement.

You would think that if anyone were to judge your character accurately it would be family. It seems as soon as that "G" word is verbalized, stereotypical images of men in leather barebacking each other on top of a gay pride float in San Francisco are conjured up.

My blackness and my gayness does absolutely nothing to tarnish my image or my ability to be a suitable role model for young people or my future kids. I treat others the way I would like to be treated and I live my life honestly. This was my response to the young lady who thought otherwise. I think she was a little shocked that I countered her outrageous claim, I judged that by the silence that followed.

Labels: Coming Out