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6 comments | Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I've always wondered what the fascination with timbs, a "wifebeater", and a fitted cap was for black gay men, besides the brothas who pull the look off well and manage to turn heads everywhere they go, somehow I feel there is something deeper underneath the "drag" these men wear in public.

I've never been what you would call a str8 acting brotha, but I am nowhere near as flamboyant as my best friends proclaim me to be. One could argue that the influence of hip-hop music and fashion has infiltrated itself into the black SGL community, causing some of us to embrace a heterosexual ideal of what's acceptable behavior and dress for a man in today's society.

Lately the effeminate gay man has been ridiculed and rejected and blamed for every negative perception straight America has of our community. I've read comment after comment on over a dozen message boards online.

What is it about those timbs? Is the extra testosterone I've always wanted locked up in the sole of those shoes? Is my manhood waiting for me to just lace it up and accessorize it with a pair of sweats, wifebeater, and a fitted?

Why is it so imperative that we prove to the rest of the world that being black and gay doesn't disqualify us for the title of "man" ? Why must we own the the title DL and allow our black faces to be the imagery for a behavior that is not limited to the black gay community?

We need the Noah's and the Wade's, that's what makes our community so unique. I've noticed a huge shift amongst SGL men of color when it comes to dealing with "queens" , they're either not tolerated or berated for being bold enough to live authentically despite criticism, rejection, and even acts of violence.

When I get my timbs I swear everything is going to be alright in the world. I will finally convince myself that I can be who I am and love another man without the fear of being emasculated.

When I get my timbs I'm gonna learn to love myself so much I won't allow anyone or anthing into my life that doesn't build me up.

When I get my timbs I'm gonna wrap my arms around my partner and love him openly without apology.

When I get my timbs I will finally have the courage to create a safe enviroment for my brothas and sistas to "come out" in.

When I get my timbs I will live, no for real, really LIVE !

When I get my timbs hopefully I will realize that when I take them off they never made me the man I am, but masked the man I was too afraid to be.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Wow u are on a role today with that great post. this post needs to be posted in every club.

October 12, 2006 1:08 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I agree! And for the record, Darian, you have all the testosterone you need. Trust.

9 days...

LOL that wasn't supposed to be funny but it reminded me of that movie "The Ring"...yeah I'm crazy.

October 12, 2006 3:34 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


I was getting to a post on this titled, "Does this fitted mask my sexuality?"

But I wrote about Timberlands last winter. I find that I girly it up walkwise when I wear timbs. But also, I don't think that wearing a fitted hat or a pair of Timberlands means anything. Some people just like wearing them. I've been wearing fitteds lately myself.

Also, this summer I've realized that most homosexuals use clothes to protect themselves. I remember some of my gay friends hearing about a gay party in a rough neighborhood and almost all of them said at the same time, "Oh, it's where? Okay I have to dress banjee that day."

I personaly don't see anything wrong with these clothes. It's what the clothes represent, or what the people who were these clothes believe it represents and think they portray. "If I wear this I'll be seen as hard, and that's what the boys like."

BITCH JUST TAKE SOME VIAGRA. (Ok that was innapropriate. LOL)


October 12, 2006 3:43 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

i'm a first time visitor.

this post is so thoughtful... and wayyyy inciteful. thank you for writing your story. i am THOROUGHLY enjoying your blog.


October 13, 2006 4:38 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I love me a feminine guy!

October 15, 2006 2:05 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Wearing the gear they do doesn't mean they are trying to hide anything. Does it say in the Gay handbook that they are supposed to dress a certain way? I think not. Who says every gay male should wear pink and Ferragamos?

October 23, 2006 8:44 PM


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