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17 comments | Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Recording artist Tonex' shocked the world and the gospel music industry two weeks ago when he revealed that he was indeed a same gender loving man. After years of speculation and controversy he confirmed his same-sex attraction making him the first and perhaps the last person in the black gospel music industry to do so.

Was it career suicide? Well the answer may depend on who you're talking to and over the past couple of weeks it's been almost impossible in Christian & black gay circles not to have some sort of opinion on Tonex". But what does Tonex' himself think about the fallout from his decision to disclose his sexuality, his personal journey towards truth & freedom, and the hypocrisy and homophobia in the black church?

Loldarian.com sat down with Tonex' earlier this week in his native San Diego, California and got answers to all of these questions and more. Watch parts one through three of four (part 4 forthcoming) below.

Many thanks to Tonex', Tim Dillinger, and Tramaine Renee' for making this happen.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I watched all three videos and I appreciate his newfound honesty about his "same-sex attraction".

I think, however, that he is still conflicted. He indicated that he continues to be attracted to women. I would not be surprised if he became an "ex-gay/bisexual". If he does decide to go ex-gay/bisexual whatever, I hope he doesn't become a gay-basher in the process.

I don't see how he can remain in his church, certainly as a leader, after his admission. I, however, wish him the best.

September 23, 2009 7:37 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Bravo Ton3X! The interview makes me smile so big! May his journey progress toward total self actualization. Upon this enlightenment, he will continue to evolve into a secure and confident same gender loving male.

Many have taken very similar journeys; therefore, we wish you well upon your personalized search of truth through questioning all those fallacies that have been bestowed upon you. Enjoy! Much Love!

PS: Now I too will go fourth and use my purchase power$$$ to support Ton3X. I'll start with itunes, and then make Ton3X CD a gift essential.

September 23, 2009 10:34 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Amazing. Life Changing. Spiritual building.

September 24, 2009 4:55 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Okay Darian, I promise to be nicer than the firt time I posted and if my comment is not shown, oh well. At least I tried!

Everything would be beautiful about Tonex if the words in the bible didn't mean anything. You might as well say that Tonex has thrown most of the bible out the door. The only thing he's focused on is how much Jesus loves him. That part is understood.

However, he's ignoring his love for Jesus which is shown through obedience. God told us to offer our bodies as LIVING sacrifices, sacrificing to do good and not disobedience. (Romans 12:1)

Tonex appears to be sliding further and further down into darkness and his ears are only listening to that which is pleasing to him. He might as well be a cult leader right now, as cult leaders ignore the bible and make up their on religion. Looking at the tweets on twitter, I can see his followers are growing in number as Tonex sprouts out words of his own wisdom mixed with biblical quotes. And the bible verses he quotes will never be the verses that speak of judgement for sexual immorality or verses against homosexuality. No, that part of the bible is better left out as far as he's concerned.

How wonderful it must be for the homosexual to find someone like Tonex, who sings wonderful words of God while knowingly sleeping with any man/woman that's pleasing to him. The false comfort of believing that somehow God accepts them in spite of their sexual preferences.

He's leading many astray making them comfortable in their disobedience to God. That's the danger of Tonex and this is my last warning to you: Heed God and ALL of his word as it applies to mankind, and run from Tonex and his false religion as fast as you can and turn to Christ!

That's why Tonex is conflicted with most churches - we can see right through him and we're doing as the bible has commanded when it comes to those practicing sin. Speak out against it! Wouldn't Tonex love it if we would just ignore him.

Tonex is unrepentant and is wallowing in darkness. Scriptures warns us about this darkness here:

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14 for it is light that makes everything visible. Ephesians 5:3-14.

(Will be published in its entirety on my blog titled "Letter to Darian): www.christocentric.com)

September 24, 2009 10:57 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I am so glad that you had and posted this interview. So many people will be impacted postively by it. More importantly, the discussion of homosexuality in the black church, especially, takes on a new face (hypothetically). Despite what Tonex does as it relates to his sexuality from this point forward, the level of honesty is something that makes the difference. Thanks again...

September 24, 2009 11:09 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Thank you so very much in putting this interview out for us to admire. Tonex is a gifted artist, musician, and has a heart for the Father and spirit of love in him that is commanded from up high for us to show to the world and all His people.

What makes me downright angry (if there is emotion in this post) is the incessant outcry from people who claim to be within the church and their consistent damning of other believers in Christ in regards to issues pertaining to sexuality (homosexuality specifically) while sweeping under the rug so many other issues that is literally PLAGUING the church, but yet focusing on this one issue alone as if this is the issue in which is starting Armageddon - type warfare. Even Tonex himself spoke about this when he would preach against GLBT people in his past sermons; mentioning how he almost felt as if he were the “President of the United States”, meaning the sense of power and command he felt condemning and damning other believers and making them feel inferior to the love of the Father, while all along he was struggling himself.

I personally do not understand why, nor have I ever understood the ferocity and the savage attitudes from people within the church who claim to be believers themselves, yet come into judgment and condemnation of others because of them being WHO THEY ARE, when these same people have fallen short from grace themselves and are sinners just like the rest of the world.

As someone who was raised within the Church and have come to the realization and the fullness of the love that the Father has for me; it is amazing and quite perplexing how people who call themselves “Christians” will go to the greatest of lengths to try and “prove” a point in regards to sexuality when the Word is just as if not MORE SO concrete in regards to issues of: Adultery, sexual fornication, lust, greed, anger, gossip, judgment of others, violence, and the list goes on and one.

In fact; while many of these people who uses scripture to “beat down” and berate those within the SGL lifestyle; its amazing that the word actually lists and is quite clear about sins that are detestable by the Father.

Now, personally I am not one who tends to go into a Biblical “tit for tat” with those who try and prove points out of anger to condemn people; however it really burns me how we as people in the church outright refuses and is unable to show love and compassion to others as the Word instructs us to do and allow God to be God all by himself. Many Believers who go into this mode of “renegade judgment”, do not realize that they are in spiritual fault themselves.

Proverbs 6:16-19
16 There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

See, the problem with many people in the church is that they have placed a hierarchy of Sin that they choose to battle over, while sweeping other “sins” under the rug. Believers have somehow convinced themselves that by ostracizing and demonizing SGL people within the church, that they are somehow doing something “good” and “helpful”

Yet many of these people do not realize the further damage that they are doing by making these people feel unwelcome to the Body of Christ and further driving them away from salvation and the chance at redemption through love.

Instead, many Believers have actually CAUSED further harm and destruction to SGL (GLBT) people and because of their continued stone - throwing and persecution towards these people, are unable to lead many of them to the Father because SGL people no longer sees the Church as a place of spiritual development and nurturing; but rather a place of fury and insensitivity.

My question to those people who continue to berate and antagonize SGL Believers and non- Believers; if their approach has actually HELPED or HURT their cause?

September 24, 2009 12:08 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Romans 2: 1-4
1You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. 2Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. 3So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? 4Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?

Romans 14:4
Who are you to judge another's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

Romans 14:13
Stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way

1 Corinthians 11:31
Instead, we should judge ourselves

James 2:12-13
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

Matthew 7:1-5

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

If we are to ever reach out to people, IT MUST be done in love. For the Father is love, and he commands us to love one another. When so called “Christians” will get out of the business of being intermediate judges and start building relationships for the purpose of leading souls to the Father then will we see a turnaround within the Church for the better.

How can you win souls when you steadily push them away?

September 24, 2009 12:09 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I mean i'm not the one to judge and i don't go around quoting bible passages and administering all day everyday, but dang man... Thats some bull. Its a difference between trying to change our flaws and embracing/accepting your flaws (KNOWING THAT ITS AGAINST GOD's LAW) It kills me how people try to twist the word to make it fit into their own 'sinful' intentions.. In the bible Killing is WRONG, STEALING IS WRONG, HOMOSEXUALITY IS WRONG PERIOD!!!!!

September 24, 2009 12:17 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

And to embrace that and be in an influential position like that, its disgusting and a disgrace......

September 24, 2009 12:18 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I have to just laugh at the person who posted Ephesians 5. Speaking of people who ignore the Bible, why did you cut Eph 5 off at verse 14? You conveniently left out the parts about wives being subject to their husbands and slaves being subject to their masters (in Eph 6).

Submitting to whom you must submit is a part of "being careful how you walk" (did you miss the "therefore" in v. 15, so quick to throw Bible verses taken out of their historical and cultural context at people?). So women do what your husbands say, and slaves do what your masters say--because that's what God wants you to do. It's part of "obedience" to Christ, LOL! Of course this idea that slaves should submit to their masters--even ones that are cruel (1 Peter 2:18) is everywhere.

So-called "Christocentric," you don't know what the heck you're talking about. You have no idea the cultural context in which these passages were written. In short, you have no critical thinking or reading skills when it comes to the Bible or Christianity and you are taking the black community down with you with your biblical illiteracy and magical thinking.

September 24, 2009 12:42 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

What kills me is people who claim to be so vehemently against homosexuality and preach fire and brimstone to others, yet will come to a GAY WEBSITE and read gay related content, THEN turn around and tell US we're wrong...

I mean... If that's not hypocrisy at its finest, I don't know what is?

September 24, 2009 1:17 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

@Smooth and @BrianQTD

First of all, I'll visit this website as long as there's no pornographic material which would definitely keep me away.

Much needs to be shared and I seriously don't see any of you just coming over to my 'side of town' as Darian has already told me he wouldn't. That's left no other recourse but for US to come to YOU!

Now both of you have shown your biblical illiteracy regarding the scriptures. Brian, you said how inconveniently it was of me to leave off the parts of Ephesians talking about husbands and wives and slavery - no, that wasn't inconvenient it was common sense. We weren't talking about marriage or slavery so yes, I didn't bring it up because it was off topic.

And Smooth you quoted all those scriptures about judging, then turned right around and judged me anyways calling me hypocritical for coming on your gay site. There's plenty of hypocrisy to go around - the church isn't the only to blame!

None of you should be quoting scripture you know nothing about. Christians are commanded to judge each other - not the unbelievers!

"9 I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you." Ephesians 5:9-13

The harshness and discipline is reserved for fellow believers who sin habitually without any repentance. The unbelievers we're busily trying to get to the kingdom of God and condemning or judging them is defeating the whole purpose! So yes, we don't judge them. Christ didn't even come to condemn anyone - (his judgment when he returns will be a different story.)

True Christian love involves discipline as well as kind words and acts of love. Check out the purpose of the bible:

"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness," 2 Timothy 3:16.

For correction, for reproof - the bible isn't about all this "just love one another" delusion that you hear a lot from Tonex. True love involves rebuke and discipline as well. That's something folks don't want to hear about but hey, it's in God's word!

(parts of this to be part of my post about Darian - later!)

September 24, 2009 4:34 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Darian this was a wonderful interview.Tonex, I 100% support you and your amazing music and will go out and mos def purchase them all.Love ya man!!

September 24, 2009 5:53 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

"True love involves rebuke and discipline as well. That's something folks don't want to hear about but hey, it's in God's word!"

Actually true love involves knowing when NOT to take a passage literally. True love knows when NOT to apply ancient social practices to modern people.

And so, slavery and women is not off topic. It's another issue in which people were (and still are in some cases) too dense to see that the literal words of the Bible cannot be applied to modern times. And those passages are connected with the entire argument of the Ephesians 5 and 6. It all flows into one argument. Hence, why I pointed out the "therefore" in v. 15. You see, "therefore" connects what follows with what comes before. Basic grammar.

But don't let a thing like the text get in the way of the soundbyte Christianity you want to promote. You keep on taking snippets and passages out of context--sometimes even the textual context itself, let alone the historical and social context! The rest of us will realize that the Word is not literal words, nor can the Word (=logos, look it up!) be contained by words. The Word is certainly far greater than your selective readings of the English version of the Bible.

September 24, 2009 8:03 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I'm no theologian nor am I well versed biblically but I definitely believe that God spoke to man and inspired the writings in the bible. But what I'm totally unclear of is weather or not God will speak again and revise his word? Just as he did when the New Testament was created. I ponder this because people hold the word of God so dear to their heart as per the bible. But who's to say that God hasn't spoken or won't speak again and inspire another book to the bible that does away with some of it’s traditional teachings.

September 25, 2009 1:52 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

he's getting there. years of religious brainwashing can do that to you.

good job, darian

September 26, 2009 11:33 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I always find it interesting that when Heterosexual Christians slam the Homosexual Christians, they always pull out the same verses. But none of them have actually researched those texts. Tonex said it in part three of the interview; “Don’t just take the surface sermon, my Pastor said… Go deeper, read and study to show, not them, yourself approved”. Invariably, they are going back to their NIV, or NAS Bible and spouting the misrepresented words that are there. What people fail to realize is that our English translations are all adapted off of the King James Version, and the King James Version is only ONE person’s collection of texts. King James I was a misogynistic despot. He resented women, and was a control freak. He picked out which texts he wanted in his Bible and which ones he did not. But we have to remember that he was a “Self-Hating Homosexual” also. The only reason he married was because a suitable marriage was necessary to reinforce his monarchy. Our modern King James Version, completed in 1611, is only a collection of approved books to confirm the divine right of kings to rule and to maintain the social hierarchy. Yes, these books are Holy Texts, and yes, they are inspired by God. However, they are translated to English by people living in a crypto-Catholic, Puritan era. There are many words in our Bible that were translated to the closest known equivalent. The “sexually immoral” quote from Ephesians would have been better translated into our word promiscuous or licentious. (The properly translated reason that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed) The English word immoral is a vague term which can be misused by anyone wanting to twist the text into what they want it so say. The same goes for the passages in Leviticus; where the phrase “a man should not lie with a man…” is used. The original text speaks of the pagan practice of raping their children into adulthood. The real English translation of that phrase would read: “a man should not lie with a man-child…” If you research the original texts, including the apocrypha, and other missing books and verses, you will not find one single mention of homosexuality being morally wrong. There are plenty of texts about promiscuity, lust, coveting, adultery, etc. But they are all speaking of activity outside of a loving relationship. You need to remember that the Bible was written during a time when polygamy was common practice. Homosexuality was as commonplace then as it is today. The problem with today’s “Religious” society is that they are like lemmings following what they hear without taking the time on their own to “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15

February 15, 2010 6:38 PM


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