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11 comments | Monday, December 14, 2009

I know you're wondering where I've been. I haven't abandoned the blog or you,my readers who have supported this blog immensely over the past three years. I'm still here.

A week without writing for me seems like years,so if you're a regular reader then I know you've missed the updates and I've missed providing them for you.

I'd just like everyone to know I'm human and not a machine(mainly a reminder to myself)
and sometimes it's imperative to take a break and step away from it all and focus on Darian.

I stopped sharing my personal life on the blog a long time ago but for some reason I feel it's appropriate to do so now.

Ending a relationship that lasted for three years is never easy but in my case necessary.One can try to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally for the aftermath of the separation,but it's usually never easy even when you initiate the break up as I did.

I won't go into specific details, although if you follow me on Twitter you probably got an eye full during my tweets last night.lol

I will be spending most of today preparing to move into my brand new apartment tomorrow morning and I'm thrilled! Who's coming to help me with these damn boxes? Lol!

On a serious note. I can't thank you guys enough for supporting me and sending such wonderful e-mails, tweets, and Facebook messages. I may have to walk alone but I'm not lonely(Thanks for that line T0N3X').

I'm on my way back and I see endless possibilities in 2010. The only thing that can possibly stop my personal growth and this blog from going to the next level now is me and I'm getting out of my own way. Stay tuned.


<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I understand your needing a break, period, however what I will never understand is how SGL/Gay Men of Color continue to hurt one another when society does enough on its own.

We all work through our pain differently. Some get right back to work like JANET while others stay out of the limelight like Tiger Woods. Whatever works for you, your welfare comes first so whenever you're ready.

December 14, 2009 11:04 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Just stay strong! Two things I've learned and come to accept... 1. The ending of a relationship does not mean it wasn't successful. It was successful for it's time. 2. This end is an opening for you both to find a greater love!

December 14, 2009 11:53 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Wishing you the best. I know how difficult this time can be. Stand strong, and walk good.

December 14, 2009 1:12 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...


Over the past year, I have become one of your "anonymous" fans. While the break-up you are currently experiencing may be difficult, you have something that MOST people do not: fans that are crazy about you and count on you to keep them in the know about things that affect our lives. Now that I have written that, I realize the massive responsibilities on your shoulders. And no, there is no requirement saying that you have to do this for us. You deserve to have a life, too. However, the fact remains that most of us PREFER to get the information from you. It's kind of like t.v. channel surfing. I choose to tune in for Darian! So, I hope everything falls into place for you. You are missed and loved.


December 14, 2009 2:59 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Hey Love, hope the move went well. Lunch soon...

December 14, 2009 5:47 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Sorry to hear about that, but it's good that you are taking it in stride. I've gone through similar circumstance in recent weeks myself, but doesn't put it on my own blog either. However, my slogan next year is "2010, the year to win".

December 14, 2009 8:41 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

I am so sorry, I too am on the end ropes of a relationship and the time has come to jus move on. I have been patient for a year and pushed aside my intutions for a year but the time has come to face reality. If he doesn't need you to make you happy then it;s probably because someone else is. (I am speaking about me, sorry) Anyway stay strong and know that you have not only supporters and fans but friends in the blog world as well. Take care and I wish nothing but happiness for you in the new year.


December 15, 2009 2:29 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

"Breaking up is hard to do" from the words of a Neil Sadaka song from the 70s. But as you say, as hard as it is, it's definitely necessary when the situation warrants the break up. Glad you had the strength to do what so many of us put off for longer than we should. Take time to heal and grow from it, as I know that you will do before allowing yourself to love the next person.

Stay strong and keep on being such a good model for the rest of us.

December 15, 2009 7:18 AM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Sorry to hear about this, however remeber Death ends a life not a relationship!! You'll be fine!!!


December 15, 2009 3:01 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

So sorry about your loss. Its never easy but please know how much I and other fans of yours look forward to your postings on this blog. We may not always say so but you are special to us and do a tremendous service to many people. Hope you find love again and that you can continue the coupled up series. We all know about unsuccessful relationships but still need to hear about successful ones in order to be inspired. For some of us just seeing Black men coupled for a few years is a revelation.

December 15, 2009 5:39 PM

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...

Darian, this is my first message to you. I have been a regular reader of your blog for the last three years since you were giving commentaries about the Noah's Arc series on Pinkmafiaradio.com. That's when I first learned of your blog and your very insightful and thought provoking commentaries. As a matter of fact, I use your blog to either learn or confirm just about every important issue regarding the people of color LGBT community. I often share your articles with close friends as we discuss the same topics. So when you were away last week, I felt the void of not reading my daily updates from LOLdarian and I do understand that we all must take a break every now and then. I appreciate that you gave us readers an update on the reasons why you were gone. Your thoughts lead me to reach out to give you support at a time of transition which we all go through sometimes.

I was at my manager's meeting on Friday and one of the guest speakers ended his presentation with a quote, "You must do the thing you think you cannot do". I wrote this down to encourage myself and to share with others if an opportunity came. So now I am sharing this quote with you as we all appoach the end of the first decade of the new millenium (can you believe it's been ten years!) and look forward to 2010 with great anticipation. So to you, STAY ENCOURAGED.

Sincerely, one of your loyal fans,

Ken Farris,
Inglewood, CA

(...by the way, that quote was by Eleanor Roosevelt)

December 19, 2009 12:46 PM


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