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Friday, January 30, 2009
I'm sure many of you have seen disgraced pastor Ted Haggard's media blitz this week in support of his new HBO Documentary "The Trials of Ted Haggard". From Oprah to Larry King Live, Haggard has made the rounds to explain his involvement with male prostitute Mike Jones while emphatically denying he's homosexual but" a heterosexual with homosexual attachments". Yeah right.
I spent most of yesterday contemplating whether or not to write any commentary on his media appearances, but I couldn't bring myself to get past the pity I feel for him to write anything. So I'm leaving it up to you guys to share your thoughts.
Get into the clip above of Haggard from his appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show earlier this week as well as a comment below left by an Loldarian.com reader on a related post that still gives me pause.
"I am a 43yr old black male who is gay and has always struggled between God and Gay. I have decided to try to stop living that life because I believe in the Bible and believe it to be the true inspired Word of God. NO, GOD HASN'T TAKEN THE FEELINGS AWAY FROM ME. So as you can imagine it is a lonely hurtful existence. But thats my decision and I will stick with it the best I can."
13 Comments:
I don't know what to say about Mr Ted Haggard except that he strikes me as incredibly insincere as a person.
As for the 43 year old gentleman, all I can say is I feel sorry that he's wasting his life like this.
January 30, 2009 8:49 AM
When Ophra interviwed Jonathan Plummer (Terry McMillan's ex-husband) several years ago she practically hissed the word "down-low" at him at one point during the interview.
Fast Forward: Ophra interviewed gay ex-governor Jim McGreevey and now Ted Haggard without once calling either one of them "down-low".
What is the difference between Jonathan Plummer and McGreevey/Haggard? Jonathan is black, of course. It seems that Ophra can have a civilized conversation with a white man who cheats on his wife with men. She has nothing but hostility towards black men in the exact same situation.
It's too bad black gay men didn't call Ophra on her crap about this.
January 30, 2009 10:36 AM
Anonymous dear, aren't you making a mountain out of a molehill? Don't you think that the word 'down-low' JUST didn't enter her mind this time?
Do you think Oprah has such low self-esteem that she'll be afraid of taking on a white man, SIMPLY because he's white?
January 30, 2009 12:02 PM
It is a widely held belief here in Chicago that Oprah has HUGE issues with down-low black men, since it was reported 17 or 18 years ago that she came home early from a vacation to find her long-term fiance in bed with a male member of her staff, and did or did not go after the two of them with a large knife she fetched from the kitchen....
A prominent gossip columnist was fired from her job at the Chicago Sun-Times for reporting on this, in fact, leading off her column with this item.
Of course, whatever police report there may have been has been suppressed.
Can we blame her for being ever so slightly conflicted on this issue?
Let's take what she HAS been able to accept:
Just a few weeks ago an African-American man was counseled that being gay is "a gift from God."
This caused a firestorm of objections from a fan base that Oprah has never really catered to: church-going African-Americans. Of course she's going to be easier on on a Caucasian minister: the greatest percentage of her fan base is suburban white women, who don't want to hear that their husbands might be gay. No, the worst that it could be is an "attachment", like a barnacle that can be scraped off. Every once in a while....
Reality is very hard to deal with, even when you're one of the richest and most powerful people in the world!
January 30, 2009 12:23 PM
It is a widely held belief here in Chicago that Oprah has HUGE issues with down-low black men, since it was reported 17 or 18 years ago that she came home early from a vacation to find her long-term fiance in bed with a male member of her staff, and did or did not go after the two of them with a large knife she fetched from the kitchen....
A prominent gossip columnist was fired from her job at the Chicago Sun-Times for reporting on this, in fact, leading off her column with this item.
Of course, whatever police report there may have been has been suppressed.
Can we blame her for being ever so slightly conflicted on this issue?
Let's take what she HAS been able to accept:
Just a few weeks ago an African-American man was counseled that being gay is "a gift from God."
This caused a firestorm of objections from a fan base that Oprah has never really catered to: church-going African-Americans. Of course she's going to be easier on on a Caucasian minister: the greatest percentage of her fan base is suburban white women, who don't want to hear that their husbands might be gay. No, the worst that it could be is an "attachment", like a barnacle that can be scraped off. Every once in a while....
Reality is very hard to deal with, even when you're one of the richest and most powerful people in the world!
January 30, 2009 12:24 PM
@Shallotte
Maybe the word "down-low" did not enter Ophra's mind this time because the man she was interviewing was white.
I do NOT think that Ophra is "afraid" of white men but she knows who she can pick on and GET AWAY WITH IT (black gay men) and who she can't (white gay men).
Look at it like this: When white women like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc., show their 'private parts' in public, no big deal is made over it. You know and I know that if a black female celebrity did the exact same thing people would be calling her names forever - she would never live it down.
White people can do certain things and it's looked at one way but if a black person does the exact same thing he or she gets a completely different reaction. A prominent married white man cheats on his wife with men and Ophra interviews the white man in a civilized manner: it seems like she's trying to understand the situation. A married black man does the EXACT same thing and he's a monster ('down-low') trying to destroy a black woman's life. She already knew what she thought about Jonathan before he ever sat down. The camera was on Ophra's face when she said the words 'down low' to Jonathan and I saw the emotion on her face. I will not forget it.
January 30, 2009 2:36 PM
OK Anonymous, I completely agree with certain things you say about how black and white people are perceived and treated.
And I get your point regarding Oprah. So I am not going to disagree with you on this one because you might well be right.
@Bobbymo51, I didn't know about that story. But if it's true, well, it just goes to show that we're all human, isn't it? Money and status says nothing.
January 30, 2009 3:57 PM
Ted Haggard is still in denial. And would still be living a life of lies had he not been caught red handed. In my opinion, his web of deciet had more to do with being accepted by socitey than it had to do with God. If he really believed the word of God then he would've known that none of us can hide anything from God.
I've been gay all of my life and a firm believer in God as well. I didn't choose to be gay but I have chosen not lie to myself or anyone else. I've also never ever had any proof that God loves me any less than my heterosexual brothers and sisters. So I refuse to let HUMANS, who have just as many faults and blunders me and everyone else take away my praise and fool me into believing that God doesn't love me.
January 30, 2009 8:54 PM
I don't even know where to begin to address this.....a heterosexual with homosexual attachments. Does that mean he's attracted to (and in love with) his wife, but craves sex with a man on the side? Why? I mean, I'm a gay man and I'm not sure I follow this. I can be in love with a man, but I sure as heck don't want to have sex with a woman at any time, for whatever reason. If I did, wouldn't that make me bisexual? Or would I simply be a "homosexual with heterosexual attachments"?
January 30, 2009 10:12 PM
It made me so angry when he said that he considered killing himself after this was revealed. It just sickens me that he is telling America that being gay is worthy of death, that we have intrinsically less worth than our heterosexual counterparts.
On a certain level I feel for him, of course. I used to be in the closet. I've been depressed and pathetic, hung up on my attraction to other men. But it's hard to commiserate with Haggard's self-pity when Haggard himself is perpetuating lies that we are all sick, twisted, and evil. He doesn't realize how he's helped engineer his own victimization. If he wants sympathy, he should stop wagging that morally certain finger at the people who (despite the occasional "attachment") he is so adamantly not at all like.
I do feel for his wife and family. How sad and strange this must be for them.
January 31, 2009 11:30 AM
This is Anon 1-30-09 10:36 AM & 1:36 PM again:
darian, you wrote that you couldn't write anything about Ted Haggard because you couldn't get past the pity you feel for him. He is indeed "pitiful" but he'll be OK because he's heterosexual (with "issues"), married, has five children and he's WHITE. Many straight people look at him sympathetically because he at least is trying to be "straight" (by getting/staying married and having kids). I believe that he'll land on his feet.
If you want to feel sorry for somebody feel sorry for Jonathan Plummer. The difference between Jonathan and Ted Haggard is that Jonathan gave up his heterosexual privilege when he left his marriage to a literary celebrity (who trashed him) and came out as gay while Haggard is hanging on to his "het" privilege for dear life.
After Jonathan was flamed by Ophra, he came out with a "novel" that went nowhere. I wonder where/how is he living? It's an unforgiving world for a black gay man (with no particular education or job skills) who decides to 'live and love' honestly.
February 02, 2009 8:14 AM
Anon-
Let me clarify that I pity Ted Haggard because he's obviously a homosexual but feels torn between being the person he knows he is and the person the church and society wants him to be. On the other hand I have no sympathy for a 51 year old man who doesn't have the balls to "man up' and live his life authentically especially after everything he's been through.
FYI: Jonathan Plummer is a friend of mine and his story has been told several time on this blog throughout the years including a full length interview.
February 02, 2009 8:26 AM
Shallotte said...
I don't know what to say about Mr Ted Haggard except that he strikes me as incredibly insincere as a person.
As for the 43 year old gentleman, all I can say is I feel sorry that he's wasting his life like this.
January 30, 2009 8:49 AM
-------------------------
If he had come out and said that he was gay, would you have then called him "sincere"?
If so, what is the criteria for "sincerity"?
Saying what you want to hear?
Isn't that the definition of "insincere"?
You see how the definition of truth becomes inverted?
You know what I like about Mr. Haggard? Is that he does not give people what they want from him.
Mr. Haggard is an independent human being and he refuses to let other people define who he is; and that, my friend, is true independence. Wherever he ends up, whatever he does in the end he will ultimately be happier than all the other people who are railing at him.
Why does he have to use the word "gay"?
Why must he accept an identity imposed on him by others?
This is how we know it's about politics and has nothing to do with "honesty": nobody is clamoring for him to be "bisexual".
February 12, 2009 5:53 PM
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