"You cannot expect someone to see the good in you that you do not see in yourself".
If this word had been spoken to me during Sunday morning worship then it would have been my cue to shout "Amen"! I didn't receive this word in church or on one of Oprah Winfrey's infamous self-help episodes of her daytime talk show, no this word jumped out at me via a YouTube video by a North Carolina video blogger named Mike. Mike and I have never met, but the unabashed delivery in his video as a confident black gay man who had something important and uplifting to share made me pay attention.
A CEO of a web development firm in Raleigh, NC and a senior pursuing dual-degrees in psychology and interpersonal communications at North Carolina State University.Mike took to YouTube to discuss a late night instant message from a friend who had been recently dumped by his boyfriend and the self-esteem issues that he ensued once the relationship ended in a video titled "Why Are U Single"?
How many of us are single and desire to be in a relationship but really have no clue what it takes to have a successful one? How many of us believe that long -term relationships between black gay men are impossible? Deep down how many of us believe that we as black gay men don't deserve to find happiness in an authentic gay relationship because it's sinful? Maybe some of us just don't have our sh*t together and we're looking for someone else to do the job that was designated for our parents? Or my favorite, how many of us insist on hiding who we are and our relationships from those we care about because of fear?
All of these scenarios are real and collectively become the baggage that many of us bring into our relationships that ultimately lead to their demise. I believe that Mike has learned a thing or two and as I'm going into the second year of my relationship his words really resonated with me.
Hopefully you'll find Mike's video and his thick southern accent just as enlightening and entertaining as I did. Let me know.