Living Out Loud with Darian: Meet The Parents...Well Sort Of

Meet The Parents...Well Sort Of

12 comments | Sunday, November 04, 2007

I finally did it. This past Saturday I found the courage to do something I should have done years ago. I introduced my mother and sister to my boyfriend. To some of you this might not be a big deal, but my family operates on a don’t ask don’t tell policy. They know at my age I've probably had many relationships but they've never asked me about any and I've never volunteered any information, we all silently agreed to leave the elephant in the room. But how long? I decided eleven years was long enough. At some point you get tired of presenting the image that makes everyone else comfortable but the person being forced to present the lie. It's not enough for me to write about living out loud if I don't actually do it.

So with my cousin set to get married this past weekend the stage was set to introduce Trey to my mother and sister who traveled from my hometown to Atlanta for the celebration. I wrestled with the idea of whether to tell them in advance that I would not be attending the wedding solo as I had for so many other family functions. I finally decided against it so upon meeting Trey they would have no choice but to be polite since he was a stranger and we were at a formal event...it worked.

We were both decked out in our Sunday best on a Saturday afternoon and unless the people around us were blind I'm sure they noticed I was glowing! I was with the love of my life and within minutes I would introduce him to my family and make a profound statement simultaneously. We are two people who are in love and committed to each other and because we value our relationship shame and secrecy cannot abide. That doesn't mean my heart wasn't beating the entire time because it was, but this had to be done.

So my mom was up first, we walked over to the chair where she was sitting and I introduced him and the warmest smile came over her face causing my heart rate to slow down a little, but the test would be my sister, the conservative thorn in my side, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I'd already prepared myself for the ugly looks she would give us, (we're both notorious for reading people with our facial expressions) but I was praying that she would remember that she was a southern lady and at least be respectful. I introduced him and she smiled and shook his hand. Whew! All I could do was thank God that didn't get ugly. I have to commend my sister because I know it hasn't been easy for her to understand who I am given the conservative and homophobic environment we grew up in, but she's making progress.

I'll never forget this day because for the first time in my adult life I'm actually in a relationship with a man I think is worth introducing to my family. It's a relationship that we're building to last beyond a New York minute, my 6-month curse, and Danity Kane's career. Two down, one more to go. If Trey were a sports fan he and my dad would instantly bond. Note to self: Set the DVR to ESPN.

posted by Darian

at 3:40 PM Permalink