Living Out Loud with Darian

I've accepted the fact that I suffer from the six month curse. My last two relationships went downhill once I approached the sixth month mark and I seem to be stuck in this horrible pattern. The first guy turned out to be the exact opposite of who he claimed to be so that relationship needed to end. I actually wish it wouldn't have taken me six months to realize that he wasn't good for me. The second guy was wonderful, the only problem was that he wasn't local. Long distance relationships are difficult, I don't think I ever want to try that again.

So I'm single, damn near thirty years old(27 years old next month to be exact) and single. I've always been told if you go out looking for love you will never find it, and that I should just let love find me. Well somebody found me but I don't think he had love on his mind.

Tall, chocolate, sexy, and masculine, this brother was everything physically that I wanted in a man. His masculinity alone was such a turn on to me, if you know me personally then you know I can "queen" out with the best of them, so I prefer my partner to be "hard" for lack of a better term. Keep in mind I did not say "straight-acting", I don't want to be involved with anyone who feels the need to act.

I expected this guy to only be interested in one thing and when he got what he was interested in I wouldn't hear from him again. I'm at the point in my life where meaningless sex does absolutely nothing for me, I need to have an emotional connection as well. So that means if we're on a date you won't be getting to "know" me right away.

Well that was my self imposed rule and rules are made to be broken. Right? He was such a gentleman, he opened doors, pulled out my chair, treated me like a ...KING (watch it !) . At times I felt slightly emasculated and other times I was in heaven.

But there were a few burning questions that I had to ask him. Are you gay? His response was no and he was serious. Do you sleep with women? He replied, "Yeah I sleep with women, I haven't in a little while but if I see some hot p**** and I wanna hit it, I'm gonna hit it." Are you out to your family? "Hell no"!

Ok, so this is when I was supposed to show him to the door. We are total opposites, he's closeted and I'm so out I don't ever remember being in. He had never seen Noah's Arc until he met me and was oblivious to all things gay, except certain areas on my body that he loved exploring. I know he's not husband material and he's a total waste of time. So that leaves me to wonder, how in the hell did I let a down low brotha into my house?